I went downtown yesterday to deliver some papers somewhere and I had a pretty good time. I feel a lot more confident now, more aggressive, flirty and talkative. I still have a long way ahead of me, still have to change lot of things, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I remember when I thought it was just impossible. I need to be honest, I’ve been looking at P for the last couple of weeks, and it seems that I’ve lost interest. I don’t feel turned on when I watch it, I did it a couple of minutes ago to test myself (something that is not recommended) and I find it boring. Maybe my brain is healing, that’s definitely a good thing.
I’m just writing this to encourage you, you’ll feel like fucking shit and feel like you’re not getting better, but you are, walk through the fire. You’ll fail and think it is impossible, show yourself you can do it. We are on this together guys.
LINK – 6 months PMOless
by ShotDunyun
90 days again. I got so cocky for a year, thinking I had PMO figured it
out. You cannot tame this habit, you just can’t. Even though I wasn’t
nearly as deep into the habit as in 2016, I lost all my confidence
again. The moment I felt awkward with a pharmacy clerk 90-something days
ago I knew I was in trouble.
I was afraid that I went the NoFap route, It was going to make work and
life in general more difficult. That’s exactly what happened, and now I
am very proud of myself that I took the hard way and succeded.
I don’t feel great yet, but I can see a lot of improvement. Now I want
to beat my 200 days last streak, and try to make it a year, I’m very
motivated.
I want you to read this and I want you to believe in yourself. I, as
well as you, never thought I could make it to 90 days straight without
masturbation, porn or orgasms. Just like you, I failed 20 times in a
row, but every one of those fails were a small victory as well. Maybe
you won´t make it on your first try, but keep trying. It will become
easier, just do your best and give everything you’ve got to stop this
habit.
It is not easy. It is a nightmare. It is like slowly walking into the
depths of hell, and everyday that passes makes everything worse. You’ll
feel depressed, disrespected, suicidal, lazy, useless, unattractive,
hopeless and a large etcetera. And that may continue for over 90 days.
But Oh Boy. Oh, Oh, Oh boy. One day you’ll wake up and realize you dont
feel like utter shit, then you’ll have to live one month feeling like
shit again. But you’ll remember that day you didn’t fell like that and
you’ll want to experience it again. And its going to happen more often.
And you’ll realize why so few people can and are willing to do it.
BECAUSE IT IS NOT EASY. Keep this in your mind at all times. What you
are doing is a fucking torture, and you are doing this to yourself. It
this was easy, EVERYONE would be doing this. Your brain is going to try
to convince you that this is not worth it.
But it is, the reward is something that you’ve always had, but you are just hiding it within you watching porn so often.
I know this is a long post, but fuck it, I will make a list of improvements first. So, if you don’t mind:
Confidence : Damn, I dont feel like the Alpha dog yet, but I can
see people straight to the eyes, I dont find girls scary, authority
figures are equals, I walk straight, and more important I DONT GIVE A
FUCK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME. Like that, I know I will never be
perfect and I’m a flawed human being, but we are all flawed, so fuck
whatever people think about me.
Energy: This is real, dawg. Sometimes I get 4 hours or less of
sleep and I fell energized the next day. I work out so hard that I need a
couple of hours to recover. I feel the need to work out, and I’m always
challenging myself on what new bodyweight moves I can pull out. I’ve
been doing an Unreal Engine course, and I feel very motivated do it.
Just look at the length of my post, and I’m not even finished.
Brain fog: Improved a lot. I can read for a long time without
interruptions and I can understand and remember what I just read. My
ideas flow faster and clearly.
Physical changes : My body odor changes. For some reason when I’m
on PMO I stink, but know there are people telling me that I smell good.
Im gaining weight , some good muscle and some fat as well, but overall I
cant really complain, I can stop being a twig. I dont sweat like a pig,
my skin seems to be improving. The beard is longer and with a good
color.
Female attraction: This is the most polemic one. People here
claim that is real, people claim is fake and some people say this is a
placebo effect. I cannot prove it, but I’m convinced that is real. The
first two months I became invisible to women. No woman even looked at me
during this time. There were just days apart from each other when I
felt this crazy attraction, like I was just irresistible. Its happening
again almost daily now. For some reason they find you very interesting,
women of all ages looking at you, like knowing that you haven’t
masturbated or looked at porn for a long time. It’s like they FEEL you,
they know you are there, they can feel your presence from far away (from
the other side of the subway convoy, when its full of people and it
seems you stand out, from example). To be fair, people have always told
me that I’m a handsome man, and to be fair the beard helps a lot, but
for some reason when I fap often or when I’m going through the first
months I disappear from their radar. Girls start texting me out of the
blue. This girl always wants to see me and go to their house, this other
one invited me to see System of a Down, she even bought the tickets. My
boss(a girl) is always looking and flirting with me, she is always
saying that I’m handsome in front of everyone. Her boss is always
looking at me as well. This is real, brothers, I just cannot explain
what it is or how it works, but it works.
Now the bad news:
No morning erections: Or at least not that often. When I have
them are rock hard, but that has happened like 20 days out of 90. I dont
really plan to be with a woman for a while, but this is making me
worried.
No sexual desire: I fantasize regularly, but I don’t aroused and I don’t get erections from it. This is weird. And I don’t like it
I swear Im almost finished. I advise all of you to keep P subs at the
minimum possible. On my first 90 day streak I had several wet dreams.
This time I’ve only had one, and It was not a full ejaculation, it was
seminal liquid mostly. I’m sure that P subs are at fault when you have
wet dreams. Also not looking at women. Now I realize that I’ve been
retaining my seed for 90 days.
I think this is it, I dont want to bore you with this Bible I just
typed. Keep fighting. If I could do it, you bet your ass you can do it
as well.
;