I am 32. I started PMO when I was 21 and kept going with it. I used to withdraw sporadically but simply because other things occupied my mind, not because I thought it was a problem. Eventually I noticed that I was getting into worse stuff and when I started watching videos of forced sex, I knew I had to stop.
Reading about the porn industry and what women went through helped as well. Have you ever noticed that nearly all porn stars are inked? Some heavily? I have always wondered if that is their way to express the damage the industry and its users have wreaked upon them.
Of course I didn’t go cold turkey straight away. I switched to amateur videos, figuring that that at least was less exploitative. The lies we tell ourselves. Downloading videos of unsuspecting couples or of a girl whose boyfriend promised her that it was private before uploading it to the internet. There is a special place in hell for the latter, bastards that they are and for us since our use encourages it.
I finally managed to quit P altogether. Of course I still edged with R rated movies but it was far less and I patted myself on the back for a job well done. However my fantasizing basically hit top gear and more than made up the balance. Because it wasn’t porn, I didn’t take it as seriously which was the mistake. Porn had resulted in a lot of wasted time and energy but fantasizing could be done so easily and anywhere that it was easy to think of it as not especially serious.
It was only when my partner came into my life that I started making a serious effort to tackle both. That was 5 years ago. I discovered NoFap and this community last year. I am on my 74th day now and here are the improvements I have seen.
- I use the extra time to get a lot more done. Not only does it stop me from wandering off to porn land but also reinforces what I have gained from NoFap.
- I am a lot more focused and alert with my work.
- I no longer objectify women which means I am more relaxed around them. Previously I used to be paranoid that they could sense my thoughts or see what a terrible person I truly was.
- I feel good about myself. Previously, I felt like I was just barely alive, coming to the surface only when I wanted to get off and then sinking back into mindless death-like slumber.
- All the extra work and the good feeling means I sleep a lot better.
- Being on my feet and active has improved my health. I no longer gorge on junk food just because I can’t be bothered cooking.
When I started, it was to get things working again down there. Now though, I just want to be free of this horrible addiction so that I can take control of my life again. I have an idea of who I want to be and for the first time in a long while, it looks like I might get there. I am not fully there yet and while things are perky downstairs, it’s still not what it used to be. But I think I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
LINK – 70 days down and still going
by Ryan Veitch
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