I am a 33 year old male and started my nofap mission over 12 months ago, with less than 10 relapses in that time.
I am currently on a 45 day streak as recorded by the coach.me app, but it is at least 30 days longer than that. I don’t know what my longest streak was, but was over 90 days. I kept forgetting to keep track properly but I am doing so now via coach.me (Lift).
I have been following nofap since before 12 months ago – thank you so much all for your amazing advice and sharing your experiences! This is a throwaway account and I have never contributed here before.
Before
I have never had a high sex drive but I love sex. Typically 2 to 3 times a week would be good for me.
I was not overly obsessed with porn and fapping but it was definitely causing problems. I watched some very extreme porn and I would push the boundaries all the time. Immediately after orgasm I would regret and feel very negative towards myself.
In long term relationships I would get bored of sex quickly. I have been fortunate to have very adventurous and willing sexual partners, although every boundary we pushed would soon get boring.
I had always struggled to cum and can only remember cumming from a BJ a handful of times in my life.
Sometimes after not being able to cum during sex I couldn’t wait to get away so I could finish myself off in private.. I believe this was partly due to below average sex and my issues caused by fapping.
In sexual partners, I would lean towards comfort and longer term. I had sometimes had anxiety issues with new partners, especially if they were hot and/or sexually confident.
In my life I have started a successful business, I travel the world while working online, I love meeting new people and having new experiences.
However I have always been pushing through anxiety – more so in my late teens and early twenties, but it still comes now.
I always feel like I can do more with my time, with my days and become more productive.
I have never been short of interest from girls etc. but I felt like I could do better with confidence around women.
How I did it
I just went cold turkey and decided one day to stop after reading up here. It didn’t really affect me that much and I liked the challenge. I think I had actually got mostly bored of Porn and recognised that the thrill of it had long since worn off.
My sleep was affected because fapping would be something I did to relax and take my mind off things at the end of the day.
I had some relapses which typically occurred a day or two after having good sex. Part of it was a kind of justification to myself (well I came yesterday anyway, it won’t hurt…) and part was reminiscing and wanting the feeling again. Other times it was because of extreme stress or during phone/Skype sex.
When I did relapse I noticed that the orgasms I gave myself were much better than before.. but I know that if I went back to regular fapping that wouldn’t last.
The Good
Sex became much, much better after starting my nofap journey. I now feel like I have control over how long I last and when to cum. I can’t remember the last time I had sex and did not cum, except when it was the second time in a night.
I now cum really hard and with much higher volume. I slept with a girl last week, pulled out while on top to cum on her body and the first spurt hit her in the mouth… that was a first and shocked us both!
My interactions with girls are less sexually focused but more sexual.. this is hard to explain. I just enjoy being around girls and I feel the sexual tension build naturally. Previously I would be frustrated if it didn’t appear like we were on the path to have sex, and that would of course be detected by her.
Now I just enjoy the journey and it always seems to end well.
The girls I sleep with seem to be more open, relaxed, submissive, willing to experiment, more comfortable being naked around me etc.
I am less focused on more extreme sex. I used to be obsessed with anal and it would be an end goal for me with any partner. Now it is a good thing if it happens, but not essential in any way. In some cases I would actually not want to do it (previously unthinkable).
This is almost a contradiction but… I feel more comfortable exploring more extreme things like bondage, role play, toys and teasing. Before it was about just reaching the end goal for both of us and now it feels more like I can enjoy pushing her boundaries, turning her on, seeing what feels good etc.
I definitely feel more confident around girls and people in general. I feel more sure about myself and I deal with rejection from the opposite sex without a problem.
I still feel some anxiety but much less so around sex and girls.
I am sleeping with more attractive girls.. this is subjective of course, but previously I would avoid girls that I was really attracted to as I felt intimidated.
I have sexual experiences more often now and I would rather have that than fapping on my own.
My business had the best year yet in 2014, although I had a serious dip in the middle of the year.
I feel more able to make strong decisions and feel like a better leader.
I am less affected by people’s criticisms. This is just more confidence in myself and clarity to see that you can’t please everyone.
The Bad
I drink more now on my own and I think that is a replacement for when I would fap to unwind and relax at the end of the day. If I am around a girl I won’t drink as much.
My last serious relationship ended about 2 years ago. I don’t feel any desire to build something serious and still feel strong desire for new partners. I have tried to form a serious relationship but I am still getting bored with one partner after 2 to 4 weeks max.
I had hoped NoFapping would allow me to stay satisfied with one partner. Perhaps the answer to that isn’t here.
I still think about sex a lot when im working and really struggle to focus sometimes. It really does still feel like I could have a quick fap and then I would be able to focus on what I need to do today.
I have never been aggressive, angry or a fighter but occasionally I am fantasizing about beating the shit out of people who have pissed me off.
Normally I am calculated and calm… but I had an incident a few weeks ago playing football (i.e. with your feet Americans 😉 ) when I received a really bad tackle. I couldn’t control myself and if the player hadn’t run off I would have attacked him.. and he was a lot bigger than me.
I have never felt that before, it is not like me. But we are all human and maybe it is my natural self coming out?]
I still lie in bed not being able to sleep and know that a quick fap would send me off.
I feel like people may be seeing me as more arrogant. However… I don’t care 🙂
The Ugly
The biggest reason I started to nofap is to focus more and save time. I feel that ultimately I am more distracted now when on my own, have less focus and wasting using more time pursuing sexual encounters.
I could still go back to fapping right now and it is still in my thoughts. Ok I haven’t been on a nofap streak for an entire year, but I would have hoped it to mostly faded away by now.
Despite all the benefits I do still find myself questioning the entire nofap journey.
My Tips
I had a flatline period recently and thought I was losing my sex drive altogether. But it came back stronger than ever – don’t give up!
Just remember the benefits.. rock hard erections, powerful orgasms, meaningful sex, more confidence around women.. the porn you used to watch is nothing compared to the sex you will be having.
I am sure if you are here, you know most of what there is to know already. Don’t over analyze and just go for it.
If you don’t feel like you know enough yet then keep reading and absorbing. But don’t use that as an excuse not to get started.
Use coach.me (formally Lift) and start forming it as a habit along with other things you want to do with your life.
If you relapse, you may find your orgasm is better than you remember.. don’t let it tempt you. That won’t last.
Don’t focus on my Bad and Ugly experiences.. focus on my Good ones! Your results will vary but I KNOW you will get amazing benefits from nofap.
The End
Wow that ended up long!
Thank you for reading and I hope you gained something from this. Feel free to ask me anything in the comments.
TL;DR After 12 months sex is better, confidence is higher but I haven’t reached my goal of getting more focus.
LINK – The truth after a year of nofap [NSFW]
by lincoxman
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