I’m a week into this wonderful change in life, rebooting and cleaning porn from my mind. Only been having O with wife during sex, as there had been months without me being fully functional as I was supposed to be. One of the things I’ve learned about myself is that 3 days is how long it takes after sex before I’m starting to feel horny again and looking at my wife with bedroom eyes.
While PIED had me anxious out of my mind dealing with performance anxiety, last night, the third time together may well have sealed that mess in the past. Whereas before I was always anxious about whether I was far enough away from my last climax to be able to get wood enough for sex, nofap has had me ready to go on a moment’s notice. Very hard very fast. What a pleasure!!
Wifey and I have been with each other for 20 years (since high school), and she was having to change from certain positions because I was so hard that it was too intense for her. This morning she jumped on me to wake me up, laughing as she told me that she was bruised inside from my super hard cock (who, me??).
7 days ago I felt crippled by anxiety and PIED. This is how quickly things can turn around for us. The only downside, and I’m not even sure I should call it that was that I experienced a “chaser” effect overnight, and woke up masturbating twice. First time no fantasy at all, only physical sensations gently. The second time I ended up visualizing last night’s sex. Both times were very heated, and almost as whole body stimulating as the sex had been. I’d moved down to the other bed (snore like a train), and was more vocal than I recall ever being.
I’m still abstaining from fapping, and am not going anywhere near porn, and while my goal was no porn and climax only during sex, I have to admit that I don’t feel like I’ve moved backwards in any way. I found a new experience of masturbation and a renewed performance during sex that I’d be crazy to turn away from. This has all been about finding a sustainably healthy sexuality again, both with myself and my wife, and I couldn’t be happier with the progress.
PIED was a terrifying thing to deal with, and something that I assumed was part of the changes of being 38. Going Pornfree is a defining change of my adult life.
Paradoxically, I used to look at my PMO frequency as a testament to my virility. But that was just virility with myself. How silly and what a shame and waste of time and lousy sexual experiences with her. The draw of the porn is nothing compared to the draw of sexual confidence and performance. Knowing what I know now, my mantra is “I just don’t watch porn anymore”
LINK – PIED?! What PIED?!?!
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