I can see how the intensity at which I had focused on winning over this addiction had been strong over the days leading up to 90 and when I made it past that hurdle then some intense desires and thoughts starting agitating my mind and I have had some challenging nights the last few, wanting to look at images to arouse me and having thoughts that agitate. I was able to get through it by coming here and reading some posts relative to arousal by searching this forum and seeing what others had been through.
I find it interesting that this week has been tough and just reminds me that I have to remain vigilant as the addiction is always present and that you become acutely aware of your triggers as you get away from PMO.
I am finding better ways to use my time and finding inspiration in life that has joy. Its the instant gratification that is hard to overcome as these new joys have a longevity to them without such a rush. What keeps me away from the instant gratification is that crash that follows and knowing that the gradual process to joy is in knowing its stability and as the foundation strengthens I can make more mature decisions and know that the happiness I want to embrace is that that LASTS!
The major benefits that I have found are the increased energy and ambition to do better with my time and not waste it away on fantasizing. Since I am not wasting my time I in turn feel more inspired and no longer depressed. The negative emotions like shame and guilt are not as present in my everyday life which frees me to feel more inspired.
LINK – Day 90 – 100 has been tough!
by monkhood
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