I’ll start with a breakdown of what I noticed in my timeline:
–Day 1-3: Feeling “spent” but very motivated. When the only way to go is up, there’s no wasted energy deciding where to go.
–Day 3-5: Some urges to sabotage the streak, but still a steady feeling that I’m on the right track. Some very noticeable withdrawal symptoms (social anxiety, heavier brain-fog, tired but wired, some heavy sweating at night.)
–Day 6-8: Intense withdrawals set in, however, these withdrawals were nothing compared to withdrawals I had during previous streaks (and I will explain why that is later). Withdrawals experienced during this time were: Not wanting to get out of bed, confusion and the inability to execute tasks or plan, constant anxiety, depressed mood, muscle tension in areas most associated with stress in the body (head, neck, trapezius, behind shoulder blades, calves, abs, and hamstrings. ) Not caring about appearance, monotone voice.
–Day 9-30: Gradual and steady improvement of withdrawal symptoms. Gradual restoration of inner-drive, competitiveness, motivation, but still feeling that my ability to stay on task is suffering.
–Day 30-60: Continued improvement of inner-drive. Marked improvement in attention and ability to stay on task. Sexual dysfunction is cleared up. Brain fog is lifted for the most part. (Brain fog occurring at this point can be explained by improper sleep.)
–Day 60-100: Some bad days happen in which I feel similarly to days 6-8, however, the intensity is nowhere near as high and these spells only last about 10 hours at a time. This can be explained by Post-acute withdrawal symptoms. (It is very important to manage these times and understand that they are temporary and that you can still accomplish your daily goals while not feeling 100 percent.) Cognition is definitely improving, memory improving, verbal fluency and all other executive functions are improving. The world seems more opened up. Posture is improved, voice has improved (due to less body tension, better breathing, and better posture). Social anxiety and shame are for the most part gone (the only reason these are not gone completely is because when you are addicted to PMO, you waste a lot of time. It’s just a part of the process of healing to learn that you know have to play catch up and work hard to catch up to where you know you should be in life.)
As far as attraction goes, there is a clear marked increase (probably 2x-4x) and I believe this is due to the restoration of your inner drive and restored energy from not burning yourself out every night. PMO buts physical stress on not only the mind but also the body. It is almost like having the flu every single day of your life. Even for us guys, if we take a beautiful girl and imagine she has the flu and doesn’t care about herself anymore our attraction to her will clearly drop. This is what happens to us when we are stuck in a PMO cycle.
Why Were My Withdrawals so Mild this time around????
On one of my earlier long streaks, I suffered from panic attacks, restless legs, insomnia, depersonalization, and flu-like symptoms. I believe the reason this happened was that I tried to change too much about myself too quickly. This is very stressful to the psyche and to the body. I tried to quit Sudafed (for allergies), caffeine, nicotine, supplements, and sugars all at the same time. This had a compounding effect and it was basically like going through 5 withdrawals at once. My advice is to quit one thing at a time starting with the most detrimental. If you’re addicted to alcohol or hard drugs, quit that first. PMO is a close second due to the effects it has on your executive functions, but not as serious as MOST drugs. Again: QUIT ONLY ONE THING AT A TIME. In fact, during the beginning of my current streak, I made sure to keep drinking coffee, eating chocolate, and chewing Nicorette. Only when I felt improvements in the way I was feeling did I decide to cut back on other vices. Accept the fact that you’re going to feel like shit. Allow yourself to feel like shit. I’d go as far as to say you should allow yourself to do less.
The second thing that eased withdrawal symptoms was the acceptance of them. I used a technique called EMDR -Therapy for this (Which I will talk more about later) but this process can be done without that. You need to really feel these negative feelings and process them. You can do this by meditating. When you begin to feel the depression, sadness, anxiety, rage, whatever it is you are feeling– Lean into it and feel it fully for as long as you can. A good book about this is “Getting Unstuck” by Pema Chodron.
What are My Tips To Reach High Streaks on NoFap? (Some of these tips you haven’t heard before)
- The most important piece of advice to quitting PMO is to understand fully what this addiction really is.
This is an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder as much as it is an addiction. Surely, people use PMO to release tension and satisfy natural urges. However, the more you progress with your PMO addiction the more you know that it morphs into a compulsion. PMO becomes your coping mechanism. I won’t say that this is 100 percent about coping with stress because we crave this addiction even when we are happy and things are going well, but I will say that I believe PMO begins to be dangerous when your mind implements it as its #1 coping strategy.
This may sound crazy to most of you, but I’m 100 percent convinced that DOPAMINE IS NOT THE MAIN NUEROCHEMICAL ISSUE AT STAKE HERE.
Surely dopamine is what gets you to use PMO. And dopamine dysfunction is the main SYMPTOM of prolonged PMO. But if you’re a PMO addict you use PMO to dissociate from your current reality and numb out, flooding your body and brain with other “feel good” chemicals such as endorphin, oxytocin, and serotonin which will provide you with a Pain-killer like effect.
When a human is under stress, we Fight, Flee, Freeze, or Fawn. Those of us with a PMO addiction constantly find ourselves in a FREEZE state in relation to our stressors.
Function of dissociation
The core function of dissociation is a type of protection from an experience that is so painful that your mind perceives it as a threat to its survival. During your abuse/stress, you went inside of yourself, to hide from what happened around you. What happened is that -in order to not have a total collapse of your whole emotional and inner being your mind switched off from that present and everything in your surroundings. To dissociate means to literally disconnect. The more often you dissociate, the more trained your brain to go to this “safe place”.
This explains why even after a PMO addiction, people still have a YOUTUBE or video game addiction.
To remedy this problem it is important to understand and work through trauma. And if you’re someone that has no notable trauma, watching porn for hours and hours every day is traumatic enough to warrant looking into this issue.
You’ll have to dig down deep and figure out what it is that is stressing you out or what traumatized you in the past. Was it the way you were raised, past rejections or failures, a bad childhood? etc…
I recommend reading up on CPTSD, Stress, and even PTSD. It is important to learn healthy coping methods to turn this around.
A good starting point is the book “Your Body Keeps the Score”.
2. You must become skilled in dealing with anxiety and stress.
At some point in your journey, you will be pitted against intense anxiety. If you have the skills to master these moments you will be in a much better place to deal with anxiety and further your streak.
Meditation is a must. But I also recommend developing a seriousness about Yoga, as well as using cognitive-behavioral techniques for dealing with anxiety. You can find many good books on this for free on some of the online pdf websites.
3. Consistent Positive Action.
One of the odd things PMO addiction does is it takes advantage of a human male’s need to constantly improve. Sitting on your computer and looking for the BEST video (or videos) to save or view scratches our itch for improvement. Without PMO you will soon realize that you not only no longer have the rush of “feel good” chemicals, but you no longer have a good outlet to improve things upon.
The remedy for this is to constantly look to improve little by little at each thing you do.
Lift weights? Look to hit your daily workouts, Look to improve your lifts (more reps, more weight, better form)
Yoga? Look to hold positions longer and stretch deeper.
Work? How can you make more money?
Relationships? How can I listen to my friends, family, or significant other better?
I also recommend starting small at things you are bad at. Make your bed every day. Keep your room clean and clothes in order. Develop a hygiene schedule and improve on it daily. I.e. if you floss once a day, try to do it twice. Don’t floss? Floss.
4. Utilizing EMDR for Addiction
There is a lot of compelling research about EMDR. Recently, it’s been used to help treat addiction, addiction memories, and withdrawals.
What is EMDR?
You can read up on it online, but to me, it feels like a very strange form of exposure therapy in which you bring up bad memories and feelings into your mind while watching either someone’s finger or a loser move back and forth. Over time, these feelings lose much of there power and it is easier to live life normally. (Sounds too good to be true I know, but it worked for me and the empirical evidence is there to support this form of therapy.)
You can try this out for free on youtube. Try Karuna Satori’s video ASMR EMDR THERAPY – FULL SESSION {Eye Movement Desensitization + Reprocessing} to start, then once you get the hang of it you can use the videos of the lasers. (I recommend bringing up minor traumas from your past to start, then you can work your way to your shame about PMO and even your addicted urges for PMO)
The Main Benefit I’ve Noticed After 100 Days:
The main benefit is that I feel fully present in the world now. When you have any addiction (especially an addiction where you’re looking at a flat-screen all day long) the real world sort of feels like you’re looking at it through a cheap google-cardboard knockoff. I no longer feel that way, and now that I’m out of it, I realize what a horrible way to live that is. This alone is worth doing NoFap.
That’s all I’ll say for now. Yes, it is a lot but I felt it necessary to say. Let me know if this has helped any of you out. I have a ton of other tips and tricks now that I’ve been at this for a while so let me know if you would like me to elaborate on those further in the future.
Good luck with your streaks brothers. I believe in you. I hope you believe in yourself now and over time.
P.s. This is definitely a long war, not a quick battle. If nothing else, remember to do as many things that will have a positive effect on your life as you can (no matter how small).
LINK – 100 Day Progress Report/ Benefits and some Advanced Advice (Long Post)
by BoxNBurn90
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