I just wanted to be a better person. I wanted to live a higher quality life. I was sick of finding myself looking at the floor with my hands in my pockets whenever that girl I liked walked into the room. Sure, I’m feeling worlds better about all of that, but I’ll be damned if I told you that it stopped there. This was a journey of self-discovery, of heartache, of clarity, and I couldn’t be happier that I decided to go on it.
The “superpowers” are legit, but I’ve seen that they kind of fade into your normal demeanor and seem as if there was always a place for them, you were just replacing them with internet girls. I think way less about the repercussions of stepping out boldly into a social scenario, and actually am finding that I love embarrassing myself (I’ve never been a shy person, but I would have had to uncomfortably force myself to do this stuff, whereas it now feels natural). I work at a coffee shop, and gave a cute girl (stranger) my number at work. Had never done that before, and it was super exciting and fun. Overall, I just feel normal. Nothing about me is synthetic anymore. I’ve taken a huge step in becoming who God has set out for me to be; who I’m meant to be.
Now onto the downsides… First and foremost: wet dreams. Christ on a crutch, these are a nuisance. I’ve had, I think, 12 since day 0. Don’t worry about resetting your counter if you get one because they’re natural and you have no control over them, but be wary because for the next day or two, the urges are gonna be pretty strong (they always are for me at least). Another downside for me goes hand in hand with the self-discovery thing I mentioned before. Of course, learning about yourself is a fantastic thing, but sometimes, that means realizing the not-so-great stuff. The things you learn may be hard to swallow at times, but trust me when I say to embrace them.
The biggest goal I still have for myself is to naturally think about porn with disgust. The idea is still appealing to me, but I’m thinking it won’t be for much longer. I went on an 8 month streak a few years back, and definitely got to that point, but I’m not there yet. This tells me that I’m still addicted.
My biggest piece of advice is to learn to actually love yourself. How are you gonna love others if you can’t even love yourself? And that’s what we’re here to do, right? The superpowers, the confidence, the wisdom all end up affecting those around us in an incredible way, all as a result of us realizing that we’re not so bad after all. The number on your counter doesn’t matter if all you’ve done is watch it. Go out and make someone’s life better just for the heck of it. Put these benefits to actual use. And keep fighting.
Deleting snapchat and twitter were a good start for me. I have a FOMO (fear of missing out) problem and cutting that out made me feel immediately happier, not to mention relieving myself of the constant flow of bikini pics. Also changing your schedule really works wonders. PMO became a habitual thing for me, and moving my day around allowed me to easily adjust to life without it.
Most of all, identify a solid reason that you’re doing this. You’re never gonna get anywhere if you don’t have a goal. I posted in a comment the other day that running from this addiction is useless if you’re not running towards something as well. Good luck!!
TL;DR It’s worth it. Reap the benefits and go change someone’s life. I’m 19.
LINK – My 90-day Recap
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