Here’s my big dump of everything I’ve learned to attain a better state of living. If you just want to hear the advice I have to give then feel free to skip to the bottom.
Hi there,
I’m 21 years old from the UK. About a year ago I decided to cut pornography out of my life as a habit. It’s been a bumpy ride but overall has been an immensely positive experience.
I’d been watching P since the age of 11 and it had very slowly worked its way into my personal life. I was socially awkward and not in a cute sense. I struggled to make any friend at all. I suffered PIED through all my teen years. My head was just always at the computer. I was living a fantasy life because my real life was just too depressing.
Ever since I was about 15 I wanted to be a musician but just never ended up doing it. Just under a month after I quit P I began to practice the guitar and start teaching myself music theory/audio mixing. In the span of a year I have found my passion. I truly feel like I’m on a path to much better things than I have ever been. I feel a person who fits into this world someplace,. And I hope I can help anyone out there get to a much better place.
Quitting P was the best thing I ever did, but it’s not a cure-all nor is it the final goal. It’s a great launchpad to success. Here is my advice to those seeking peace.
Quality Books To Read:
No More Mr Nice Guy
Brilliant insight into the inner workings of men(and women). Don’t overdo trying to not be a ‘niceguy’. People like nice guys but they don’t like people who are obsessed with trying to be nice. Being more assertive doesn’t mean being a dick. It means being respectful and pleasant to others.
The Power Of Now
This book changed my whole perspective of reality. If you’re really looking for inner peace and to move away from the internal mental effects of porn then this book is brilliant. Although it never really touches up pornography it certainly is relevant.
How To Win Friends And Influence People
Anybody out there who struggles to be like then this a good one. Brilliant advice but don’t overdo it. Again you can come across as a really great person if you do these things subtly. Be the kind of person who stands up straight, gives firm handshakes, and makes people feel good about themselves. Not a constant cheesy smile and excessive compliments.
Mindsets To Take On:
Don’t hate your past P-addicted self. Whoever you were in the past is something that can’t be changed. No matter how much loathing you have for that person they are fixed in time now. Instead, embrace how much you’re changing/have changed. Enjoy the present.
Accept no point in the future or any material thing can bring you happiness. I lived years of the “Once I have X,Y,Z thing I will then be happy.” only recieve that thing and want something else. Happiness comes from those who allow it now. You can still have dreams, aspirations etc, but they won’t bring you pure joy and peace. That can be achieved no matter what stage of your life you are at.
Observe your mind rather than fight it. If you’re like me then you will receive many negative thoughts and images in your mind trying to bring you back to who you are. Don’t fight these thoughts nor should you associate them with your self. It’s okay to have these thoughts fly into your mind. That’s out of your control. But what’s in your control is how you respond to them. Don’t entertain the thoughts with the association and you find the power they have over you dissolves.
One thing at a time. Don’t try to be the perfect person all at once. It’s too high an expectation. Relax. Take it easy and live for the long term.
Habits To Form:
Regular Exercise: Even if it’s 5 pushups a day. Make that your new standard. Start small and work up. DON’T Exhaust yourself too early.
Better Diet: Even it’s just an orange today. Or maybe go one day without pudding or chocolate. Make through a single day of the week. Then see if you can do it again another day. Don’t shock your system but cut down in chunks.
Get a hobby: Honestly try anything. Salsa, guitar, painting, whatever. Try something for a month. Keep going back to it. Allocate a time slot for it even if it’s 10 minutes a day. If after a month you don’t feel it, oh well you tried. Find something else. Putting your energy into this kind of thing can make you feel much more satisfied as a person.
Final Note:
Porn has become a toxic drug to many adults and even teenagers. The oversaturation and abundance of pornography are draining a lot of people of their potential.
I’m a straight man so my experience and world view will be different to many. I will say that the best way to fight this addiction is to channel that energy in to something else. Go for a run. Get away from the computer.
Don’t make it your goal to have more sex either. There’s nothing wrong with wanting sex and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be more attractive. But the most attractive kind of man is a focussed man who takes care of himself and others. Someone who is just pleasant to be around and to talk to. Not someone obsessed with being attractive.
I know what it’s like to be at the bottom of the porn pit thinking you’re gonna be there forever. But your brain will heal as will you. It just takes time a persistence. Focus internally and you will feel like a new person in no time.
Feel free to ask any questions. I’ll be sure to answer them today. Thank you 🙂
By kain_tr
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