Three days ago, I passed my original goal line of 90 days since I started using this forum. I am 25 years old, and this is the longest I have gone without watching porn since I was fifteen years old. I’ve been a porn addict for over a decade, and I’m finally making a difference in my life.
Lots of people on this forum have testified about miracles or about gaining superpowers, muscle growth, and even about becoming more attractive to women as a result of completing a 90 day reboot. I haven’t experienced any of that stuff. Instead, I’ve experienced three things that are much more important than any of that: better sexual health, inner peace, and freedom. I’ll explain each of these in detail:
- Better sexual health – Before committing to a porn-free life, my sexual experiences were mostly pornographic. I had sexual partners between the age of fifteen and where I am now, but these past three months have been the first period of my life in which I’ve had more sexual experiences with a real partner than by myself. Overall, it just feels right. Sex with a real person is so much better than any pornographic experience could ever hope to be, and I’m so lucky that I’ve given myself the opportunity to have healthier sexual experiences. Sex with a real person is a deep bond between two people, a sharing of experiences. I always knew this deep down inside, but chronic porn usage made me lose sight of it. Things feel much more clear now, and I am now more confident than ever before that I want to live a life free of porn.
- Inner peace – A life of porn usage is a life of guilt. I was very ashamed of my porn usage. I would always use it in secret, I’ve used it at times that I’m really ashamed of, and it’s even made me miss out on other more important things in my life. I love women, and I respect women as human beings that have so much to offer to the world, but pornography portrays them as nothing more than sexual bodies. Porn is misogynistic, and it doesn’t accurately represent what sex is really all about. What I mean to say overall is that porn is not aligned with my moral standards. I feel like I am a better person when I don’t watch porn. I feel like I have nothing to hide, I make better use of my time, and I don’t miss out on as much of what life has to offer. I have so much respect for women, and now I feel as though my actions are actually in sync with that respect.
- Freedom – Perhaps the greatest gain of all, freedom is an amazing benefit I’ve seen after deciding to go porn-free. Porn is like slavery. It never satisfies you. It just keeps you coming back for more. There were so many nights throughout my life where I just wanted to go to sleep, but I couldn’t because I felt as though I needed to watch porn. What I’ve been able to do after 90 days is separate that “need” from myself. It’s still there, but it isn’t mine. It belongs to my addiction. I’ve tried to give my addiction a personality. I think of my addiction as a goblin with a whip. He’s a slave-driver, and I’ve realized that the “need” to watch porn is coming from him, not from me. I don’t want to watch porn, I just want to be free. When I watch porn, I feed his desires, which makes him stronger, and gives him more control over my actions, my feelings, and my sense of self. I enjoy living a life without porn, and he’s the one who’s throwing a temper tantrum when I don’t give him what he wants. I’ve learned to make friends with this evil little goblin, and his cries don’t really bother me anymore, even though I know he’s still there. He’s probably always going to be there, and there might be times where his cries and screams are louder than others. I’ve learned how to live with him, like he’s a bad roommate or something. I just feel like I have more control.
So, I’ve reached 90 days: now what?
I think this is a really important question, because a 90 day reboot is really just the beginning. I’ve given myself the opportunity to answer more questions about my sexuality, and I’ve given myself the peace of mind and the good conscience to ask those questions. I’ve quit watching porn for 90 days, but I’m still not sure about whether or not I want masturbation to be a part of my life. I’m going to continue to live a life free of porn, and I’m going to go 90 days without masturbating (I’m already 18 days in so far). I hope that the 90 masturbation-free days will give me some insight on what masturbation means to me, and whether or not it’s something I want in my life. Wish me luck, fapstronauts! I hope my story has helped you in some way.
LINK – My 90 day success story
by Ridley
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