I last wrote a text post on Day 16, so I thought I’d follow-up on Day 25. So far, I’ve gone 25 days without porn or masturbation, truly great feats for someone like myself. My longest streak prior to this was 17 days! On day 4 of my no-PM journey, I had sex for the first time in a long while. I knew I had PIED when it took vigorous stimulation on the woman’s part to get me to have an erection.
When I last wrote my post on Day 16, I had minimal to no difficulty having sex with the same woman I’ve been dating. Since Day 16, I went on vacation and worked a lot, so I wasn’t able to see her until last night. Again, a “Netflix and Chill” type of situation turned into a romantic adventure filled with a lot of making out and sex. However, this time around, I felt no flaccidity whatsoever. On top of this, I was ready to go, with ease, 2-3x more after the initial intercourse! Currently, there are no problems with sensitivity, obtaining an erection or ejaculating.
My only problem right now is that, while writing this, I’ve become extremely horny with the urge to masturbate (without porn). From my history, I have a tendency to compulsively masturbate, and from there, return to porn. This is my problem that I’m facing 25 days in. And I believe this is where it gets hard for myself (no pun intended, of course). I think, now more than ever, it’s time to keep myself extremely busy on my days off from work until I’m able to see the girl I’m dating again.
If you’re curious what worked for me, I’ll summarize it as best as I can:
– DATE, DATE and DATE! The consistent talking to women, kissing, etc has helped me tremendously to rewire my brain and perception to what is real and what is not. Not only this, the anticipation of sex has led me to stay away from porn and masturbation because of a mild anxiety to not perform well or have PIED. I used an online dating website called OKCupid that has helped me.
– Obviously, and you’ll read this a lot, going to the gym, keeping myself busy with a hobby or two, and working have given me less time to be on the computer to look at porn (or masturbate)
– I purchased Man1Oil from Amazon, which is a lotion that is supposed to help regain sensitivity on the penis. I doubt this has been the causal factor for my not having PIED today, but I bought the lotion when I was anxious and really desperate for help.
I do want to reiterate that besides sex, my life has been pretty much the same. I don’t have superpowers and things are relative to where I want them to be. However, not having that guilty feeling of looking at porn, alone, has been nice. I’m happy with where I’m at and the progress I’ve been making.
From my point-of-view, I think abstaining from MO was essential. This is mainly because MO is a catalyst for my returning to porn. I used to think MO hindered my ability to obtain an erection due to “death grip” causing decreased sensation, but looking back, I used to masturbate and have sex with my ex-GF all the time. One thing I want to note is that often times I had difficulty ejaculating with my ex-GF, which can either be related to porn or excessive masturbation. I don’t want to return to MO for these reasons stated above. Sex is so amazing right now and it’s really enjoyable because I’m not MO’ing!
From what I read, a lot of people on this forum and NoFap try and go through the process alone. There’s nothing wrong with this, and it’s definitely OK. Instead of getting off by using porn and masturbation, I’ve been trying to re-teach my brain to get that same high from another individual (In other words, the girls I’m dating). A “real” person: who I can smell, touch, talk to, and have sexual intercourse with. Having a partner helps to bring back that verbal and tactile stimulation that I wasn’t receiving. And, having a partner that I eventually become comfortable with decreased my performance anxiety. As human beings, I believe we’re meant to be social beings, some more than others. Staying isolated was a deterrent for me, and it took me a long time to realize that.
LINK – Day 25 – No more PIED but post-sex urges to MO
by photoxnurse
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