This has been quite a journey and a lot of you know what I am talking about. I have felt the lowest of lows and the highest of highs in just 49 days.
To start a little background about me. I am 32 and started watching P around age 15 or 16. I am highly religious and at age 18 I stopped watching as I prepared for a mission trip to Africa. For three years I abstained from P but still would M occasionally, but it wasn’t very long after returning from Africa that I again picked up P.
Since my 21st year till now, the last 11 years I have been struggling to quit. Those three years gave me a taste of what it was like to be free of this curse. Ultimately I would go 7 days, 10 days, 4 days, 4 hours, then 12 days. For the last 11 years it was struggle after struggle.
There were also times in there where I would just say F-it and not even try for a few months, but deep down inside I knew what it was doing to me. I also knew I could quit having gone three years. I am still a virgin (by choice I’ve had a handful of opportunities) but I truly wanted to save that for marriage and I also had an easy out with PMO.
So now that my background has been established, or at least a brief background here’s the success.
At the end of last year maybe the biggest thing to date in my life happened. I graduated with my Doctorate degree in physical therapy. It was a great moment in my life but I realized that this great success was meaningless or rather felt empty because I watched P.
See, no matter how successful I was in other endeavors deep down inside I knew what I did at night when no one was around, I knew the kind of mind I had and how F-ed up my thoughts were. I knew how little self control I had. And just like that anything I did was kinda pointless.
So right after graduation I decided once and for all that I wasn’t going to miss another second of my life. So I went about truly committing, fully committing to NoFap. I moved my phone, computer, away from my room, I told my family, and found a friend who was going through the same thing who I could call and talk with. I started writing in a journal, and sought help from an ecclesiastical leader.
I literally pulled out all the stops. Having just graduated I didn’t yet have a job, I only had to study for my board exams. So I took this time and devoted my entire energy to this pursuit. Anyway, relapses happen and it was deflating. I relapsed once in January but since graduating in December that was the only relapse. My success hasn’t come with any one thing its has come with trying everything. I would even say it has come with 11ish years of trying.
So that brings me to today day 49. On Friday of last week I got offered a job with the largest health care group in my area, I was up against 22 other people and some much much more qualified than me (a friend at the company told me this information).
Where I was able to get this job was according to my friend, was in the interview process. The interviewer was very impressed with my ability to look him in the eye and smile. Then there was today, a girl, far out of my league, a real ten, who actually rejected me (quite harshly) last year, actually asked me out. I feel like the date went well too
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This brings me to my point. Never give up. Never quit. Keep going, keep trying, and your effort will absolutely lead to success and be worth it. I have felt through this process sad, lonely, desperate, and any other bad emotion, but today on day 49 I feel the best I have felt in over a decade, and I know you guys can feel that way too.
LINK – Day 49 Sucess
By Bandyakama
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