So my urges for porn have dropped off to about .01% of what they were. It’s funny, I experience the same feelings that would drive me to open up some porn, now however the same feelings motivate me to be creative. I go do twenty pushups, do a job round the house, make contact with somebody or grab the juggling balls for a few minutes, spend some time in the garden, etc.
Changes so far are :-
My eyes are so much clearer, the blue colour is bright and sparkling. I account this to less intense screen time ( producing actual physical damage to the eye), less mind numbing crap going into my head, my brain is more alert and it shows through the eyes.
My appetite has increased, I’m eating another 50% on what I did before, spread nicely through the day. I think due to increased physical activity and feeling more relaxed and grounded. Before I’d never really think about food all day until about 5pm, then binge . This would impact my energy through the day and my sleep and so on.
My personal care and love for myself has developed. I’m doing a strict 100 pressups a day, for the first time in my life I’m able to do reps of 20. Yesterday I did 200 pushups. Also cleaned the house from top to bottom, as in hoovered and mopped, the house now feels so nice to be in.
I feel more in the now, better able and willing to communicate with people. Less attachment to the past. I chucked out so much stuff yesterday, things I’ve had forever with sentimental value, actually they went into the bin bag just fine and today I’ve no regrets about binning them. Literally a pickup truck of stuff exited my house yesterday and my mind feels so much lighter plus it feels awesome.
I just went through a breakup with somebody and were it not for NoFap I think I’d still be in a lot of trouble with it. My new outlook on life and my future are helping me be more ok with the circumstances, I feel more reliant on myself, mentally and physically.
I am really attracted to women at the moment, I find them the most gorgeous things to see. Women on screen now kind of repel me, if in any way sexual. Actually it pisses me off because it is so visible to me now how sexualised most media content is. That’s more about my concern for society in general though, but I do feel like having scantily clad women in ads on my favourite Seinfeld website is a bit much.
My urge to masturbate is very low although my libido is high. I feel like I’m able to disassociate the two, no longer do I feel I have to grab my junk when I feel horny or bored or whatever. Now I can be with it, enjoy the ‘power’ of it. As in, it feels powerful in my body, like I’m a real man and I’m ready to do some mating, but there’s no women around to do it with so just chill. And I’m able to do that. Never ever felt that natural harmony with strong sexual energy, always had to ‘get rid of it’ . Such a waste.
I was reading some posts on increased blood pressure from edging for hours with p or without p, and what I read there really sounded familiar. I’ve noticed some reduction in curious feelings of pressure in my neck and head since I’ve quit pmo. Also a better tolerance to heat, not sure if the two are linked. But without doubt my general wellness is much higher than before. I feel healthier.
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