90 days ago I relapsed after a 143 day streak. This time around, I feel I proved my first 90 day or more streak was no fluke.
To give some context, I am 40. I live alone and have been fighting this problem for a while now. Many years. I was off and on. The loneliness and hurt I have felt in years past has been a cataylist for my addiction. I am over the hurt from a past relationship that hurt. I used to have a contentious relationship with my parents which was hurtful. There was a period I never saw them or said anything for years. Three years ago, we made up. Things have been better. I used to always be edgy, stressed and shut out from the rest of the world. I no longer want to do that. I work in a high stress job and knowing that makes me realize what I can do to deal with this
Nofap does work. These are the improvements I have seen.
- increased energy. I can sleep better and can get through a day better
- better concentration
- better enjoyment of everyday things
- able to deal with stress better
- better decisions
- not so hard on myself anymore
One thing that really helped is finding the courage to admit this addiction too. Back in October I told my Father I have given up porn and had been addicted to this for quite some time. He was happy I was taking this step. Assured me that if I could lose 35lbs like I have done in the past, I can fix this problem. Gave me some added motivation. He was not mad at me and was surprisingly understanding. Cannot do this alone he said. Haven’t brought this up since. Just enjoying Christmas now. To me this is a Christmas miracle.
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