Today it’s been 7 years of my life as a pmo-free man. The addiction is over – I mean I have no urges or strong temptations. Sometimes I’m tempted to pmo but it’s not a big problem for me to turn away. It doesn’t mean either that I have no other problems. Yes, I have and struggle to solve them but not with pmo.
8 or 9 years ago I couldn’t get past 2 – 3 days on a regular basis. It was too painful for me. Now I don’t often remember that the following pmo- free month passed. Blue balls I often had at the beginning. I simply knew that I had to wait a few days until the nature solved this problem – I mean nocturnal emission during sleep. After it you don’t feel blue balls for some time until the next nocturnal emission ( practically almost always combined with a sexual dream) and so on. I still have nocturnal emissions – once a month or so. The nature must solve the problem of full balls and knows how to do it ( without masturbation).
You know, it’s my personal choice. I don’t care about sex. I’m not against it and if I tried harder I assume I could have sex with my wife but … I don’t care. If I was more than ten years younger I would try to change it but… now I don’t care. I don’t persuade anybody to have no sex in their life, I only describe myself and my attitude.
You know I love freedom, being free and feeling peace and I remember how I felt when I was addicted to sex – it was horrible: fear, emotional massacre, guilt, experiencing weakness, passiveness, not much or no pleasure in anything other than sex, lost time on pmo, lost money, risky behaviors , lack of energy… zombie state.
I know there is a healthy sex life too and I have nothing against it. I simply don’t care and indeed think that sex is only a addition to life. No necessity. I must eat, drink, wash myself, have a job, friends etc. but with sex there is a big problem because in the today’s culture sex became the most important element, it was degraded to only egoistic pleasure plus this all porn industry, …. I doubt there is a healthy sex nowadays when almost every young boy or man watches porn and masturbates to it. I choose my freedom from this enslavement. The importance of sex life is far exaggerated. There are so many interesting aspects in life. But once again – if somebody can have a healthy sex life it’s good but without porn, masturbation, changing partners like choosing chocolates in the supermarket , avoiding prostitutes….
[My views on masturbation have changed. Now I think it’s] Not healthy, it’s lost of energy. If I was a teenager or young man again I would avoid it like a fire. I would choose rather talking to girls, going to dates, inviting a girl to the cinema or so, going with a girl to the mountains, to the seaside etc. , tons of ideas. After M. I always had fears, no energy, apathy state, sadness, no interest, no will to do something difficult , no need to meet a girl or get to know one and I was afraid of girls despite the fact that I found them very attractive. So, M. is no solution but creates many problems plus M leads to porn inevitably and then you have this all pmo addiction.
[Response to a question]I’ve just read your first post here in success stories and got to know that you have been in a therapy and your therapist ‘prescribed’ you a controlled masturbation without porn and you reduced gradually the use of M. from 4/5 a week to 1 only. So your case is a specific one because you successfully fight pmo, don’t watch porn and first of all you repair your whole life being advised by the therapist. My congratulations.
When I answered you I didn’t know about it. When I prepared my last attack to get rid of pmo I used a similar technique of reducing the amount of pmo. I was absolutely too difficult for me to go cold turkey. I used pmo according to my plan ( of promises) rarer and rarer until I felt that one day I could say no to pmo for a really long time. I noticed too that pmo was only some medicine for me when I felt bad, negative thoughts plus sex drive compelling me to do so. That’s why I change my life ( without a therapy) but I go in the direction therapies use. I do something similar to 12 steps but individually.
So your case is specific. I wrote rather about M. use when somebody is in no therapy because they often don’t change they life but think that they only must reduce or get rid of pmo but the real problem is their life and thinking and they need some healing. Without this I think that M. always leads to pmo because the man looks for more pleasure.
You are in a therapy and as for now M. once a week but maybe at some point you decide to reduce this even to once a 10 days period or gradually twice a month etc. But it depends on the level of ” healing” during a therapy.
It’s because any M. is a portion of energy which the man loses. I would use this additional energy and motivation to sport ( I like martial arts) or to learning something etc. And lastly, don’t think that you will be addicted to the rest of your life. I thought so too but it changed on the way of my way to freedom. The therapy can help you to get rid of this addiction once for all one day or at least to reduce even more and more M.
[I used porn for] 33 years. So, there is always hope. I thought I was a hopeless case after 3 decades of unsuccessful trying to get out.
I have now plenty of time and energy and motivation to do many things I omitted when I was an active addict. I regret losing so many years on pmo because I had been then very passive, inactive. If I was now in your age I would start to do martial art even several times a week, often date girls (but without sex ) , travel around the world etc. I feel that the sex energy is transformed and gives me a lot of motivation and appetite to do healthy things.
LINK – 7 years without pmo
By Mr Eko
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