What a ride for almost 60 days in! But I can’t wait until the 60 days mark to share about my experience in an event last night. First a little background, day 20-40 had nothing new and life seemed boring. Once I got over Day50+ I suddenly noticed my voice changed one morning. Very deep and magnetic with the WOW factor. I am actually in love with my own voice now. A subtle difference, but profoundly different. Nowadays I also get random gazes from kids, dogs came to lick my ankle, even rough people were polite towards me with respect.
Guess I became likeable and have improved my aura in a very wide spectrum.
Last night it was a Wine Dinner X Social Dance event. My favorite girl at the scene was fine looking with a gorgeous smile and I caught her looking at me many times. When I approached her table to chat with someone I already know she was so ready to jump up and to greet me. I rubbed her hand a little after our handshake, and she didn’t want to let go, so naturally we danced. She is a total beginner but warmed up to me quickly. Several songs in I thought I started to smell in my sweat, but suddenly “I’m all yours..” she said in a very helpless, flirty tone, “I am losing my control. I’m all yours.” Of my 3 years into dancing, this is the first time I came across a partner who would be explicit on their vulnerability and total submission. Women are subtle aren’t they? She was able to let go of her fear and everything to totally submerge in the moment in my embrace, and I did nothing other than my regular steps. I lost my words so I whispered in her ears “That’s good.” Pretty amazing.
Other favorite moments from last night:
1. Girl A: “How on earth you manage to keep yourself in peak condition all the time??”
2. Girl B: “I was chatting with my friend and said I never liked guys with beard. Then I saw you, I actually think yours look very good. I had to tell you this.”
3. Girl C: “I noticed you rubbed your knee.. ” (It turns out to be a big sexual signal, maybe she noticed I was quite turned on/in the mood last night)
4. Many people came to check out the accessories I weared.
5. I received many gazes and girls scanned my body
6. I have had many meaningful conversations with other male acquaintances too. Their level of engagement almost surprised me. This is important cause I have always considered myself introvert and anti-social.
Pretty sure I could have pulled with the girl I danced with, but since I am already on this epic journey, and given the fact I had a very enjoyable date with a crush just the day before, I start to realize my abundance mind set already sets in. There will be more choices so I don’t have to hurry in closing any. I am more interested to see how I evolve with more power, more charisma, more magnetism as time goes by.
Going forward I think I will easily hit the Day90 Mark. I expect more improvements in other areas in my life too. The new found confidence I have enables me to take on big projects. It’s time to take on my life goals.
Ps. I regularly use affirmation videos to help improve many areas of my life. They manifest much faster after I started to attempt reboot. Some of them do work. If you need recommendations, let me know.
LINK – [Day 57] SuperPowers!
by whatrichme
UPDATE –[180+] During 120-180
Pre 120:
Deleting & Blocking all P files/websites early proved to help me stay on track.
Recap:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/day-57-superpowers.170741/
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/day120-two-women.181670/
120-130:
Had many dreams that uncovered wounds on love & family. Made me very emotional, vulnerable. Low motivation and momentum.
Another way of healing, but long week it was.
130-140:
Voice further deepens.
Impeccable skin.
Many people asked me about my beard (as an Asian, not many can, and dare to wear a full-on beard). A wonderful ice-breaker.
Dealing with Physical Needs
I handle my mental urge fairly well these days, but for the itch down there, it’s tricky to the point I could hardly sleep. So for several days I had to touch it until it’s happy so I could sleep (nothing over the board, just on a scale of 3 over 10). But it did trigger a wet dream one night and took some of my progress away. If given another chance, I wouldn’t risk it again. To think positively though, my eyes were counterintuitively more pure, clearer, younger looking afterwards. (Side Story: interestingly the night before I did affirmations to disconnect from and release subpar sexual energies I received from others in the past.)
By the end of the week, My mind calmed down significantly.
140-150:
Success at Work
Still feel tired, but I got thru the final stage of kick-starting a project at work. It took me tremendous courage to make this shot.
Were heavily challenged at first, I didn’t feel confident while fear and adrenaline were on the red line, and there was no support from strong papers or numbers, but I gently asked myself to stay still and defend it well, it went thru.
How relieving, when the two women I spoke to were convinced enough to assure me “I see where we are getting to and Yeah we think this can be resolved.” So here we go, a big project that I longed for years is finally on.
Looking back, before NF, I was continuously beaten up by awful results from work, with no progress, motivation nor momentum for several years.
This whole experience is a soft but significant lesson. Once you finally have substance inside, others don’t feel your fear, only you do. And I learnt that challenges along the way won’t matter anymore, once you get thru.
I longed to become a presentable, convincing, sophisticated person. Now I am not far from it, before I realized. [Thanks NF]
This week I also gathered courage to let go of the old, namely
1. repaid all my financial debts
2. decided to not to see my ex girl friend anymore.
I used to make myself increasingly dependent on them and allowed them to test my limits. I saw my own ego, anger and blame fine-knitted stubbornly in between. To truly heal and liberate from my bitter feelings, I feel this in me: “I failed in the past, but thank you I am taking my life back.”
Eventful week, but totally worth it.
150-160:
For long I couldn’t stop stalking strangers (female), and if my guts allow (rarely) I would try to go invade her … ergh life. Maybe it’s biological, I had this obsession since young. But I want a change.
No More Stalking
First my guts doesn’t always boot me up to situations like this, this can be trained of course, maybe not now. The what-ifs after I start to bother are too much for me.
Second I am still figuring out why some people are universally perceived as hot, attractive, sexy. After awhile in no PMO sure you become more attractive, but painfully it isn’t universal (yet). I want a deeper understanding on the dynamics before doing lots of point shoot aim.
Third, this sort of hunt further affirms the lack. Not very constructive according to some school of thoughts.
Forth, along the lines of the third, isn’t it better, easier and more enjoyable to let women find ways to enter my life? Like this fellow here:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p…ap-journey-hopefully-it-helps-someone.185999/
Fifth, it saves a lot of mental power for me to keep hustling at work. Most of my energy from NF goes to work now.
Sixth, maybe I am undergoing deeper rewiring, I slightly prefer the me back when it was day 60, as far as attractiveness to the other sex is concerned. When I feel sexy and attractive all over again, I will get social.
Seventh, I have to review one of my deeply hidden agenda for NF, a big time liberation for sex with a harem of women. At least it pushed me for progress, but it is a good time to look at this food for thought. I am willing to accept and be inspired on a new purpose/direction for this whole effort.
Nowadays I still look around a lot for genuine eye contact from people I like, but no more (much less) stalking, peeking or creeping up to random girls everywhere I go. At least I am happier for now.
Dream and Enlightenment
There was a sex related dream this week. I didn’t like how I was searching about glasses and all these pictures with glasses on pretty faces triggered my emotions. I turned off the computer, meditated and went to bed. It got quite messy in the dream, and I blamed myself in it on how bad I failed to NF. But to my surprise, my sheets were clean. It was just a dream, and the message was awaiting me to decode. So again I meditated for the answer “Celebrate your sexuality.” Wow. It quickly became my mantra as I realized by acknowledging its presence my subconscious no longer have to fight against it. Also I noticed every time I affirm similar words in my mind my posture instantly corrects, it probably is the best confidence booster to use in front of women too.
“Accept your sexuality within.”
“I have this sexuality in me.”
“My sexuality.”
160-170:
More Unfolds at Work
Everything is properly set up at work. I am happy with the ground work I have done. Hopefully one thing leads to another.
I have uncovered that some of my anger came from the missed shots and my impatience at work, but my skills are rapidly catching up to standard so I to remind myself to be cool, cautious and optimistic, all the while keep hustling.
As I now I wait for opportunities and results to manifest and realize, every new development is encouraging and exciting, I take this as a sign of initial success.
There was a small setback, I was overwhelmed mentally self-pitying for a day or two but ultimately I realized I can make power decisions at work. I can decide whether or not to become successful. This old pattern have to go.
Have an idea where you want to be. Just decide, do it in a blink, just like NF. I have reapplied this swiftness in decision making and it’s awesome.
Relationships with Women
One of the video on youtube inspired me to “f-king man up, accept things are hard, really grind and commit to become good in game”. I wasn’t happy with my love life, and I always thought something in me or the world is wrong. This time around I can totally relate to the video’s content, cause I already “man up” on building my career, perfect as the right attitude is already in me. Work still has higher priority, but as I am becoming more flexible at work, I can start to grind on relating till I am good. I expect many experiences to be checked in this area soon.
I read about alpha male body languages and seemingly got some attention from women this week.
170-180:
Internalizing no PMO
There was a dream that I ran into some webpages with nudity pictures. Handy videos were just a click away, temped but I chose to neglect all of them because deep inside I knew I have a choice. The intense physical feelings in my lower half quickly diminished.
Spiritual Healing
A part of me is always tired and lagging. Although the boost of my physical energy from NF allowed me to do and achieve many more, but what’s missing?
I would like to connect to the good of the world, I want to feel hope and abundance all around, I would like to be at ease and in love with everything, I would like to live a life that’s worthy, I want wonderful relationships with women, I want a great life.
So my eyes turned onto spiritual healing again. Before NF, I was already into crystal healing and meditation, but perhaps the expense of energy was too much for those effort to make any difference.
As I celebrate some minor recent success I allowed myself to splurge on some new healing tools. If these tools can further align and attune me to what I envision, it’s a small and happy price to pay. And yes I feel more grounded now with the use of grounding shoes/pad. I suspect this can be an answer on how to feel sexy and energetic all the time.
Getting Social
There was a social event this week. I made myself a little more social by talking to people I rarely talk to, and showed up to an impromptu dinner after the event. Definitely received lots of signs of interest, one girl came to touch and played with my beard in awe, and flirted with me while her boyfriend is right aside. Another fiddled with her hair and blinked like crazy while we talked. Some random compliments too. “You look so Argentine now” “You are now way more mature then you were.” Good signs. I know when the right person shows up I am good to go.
My ex contacted me and I gently refused to meet. Frankly I have outgrown this relationship and it has to end.
180+ Above and Beyond:
There is something ongoing that I observed.
I am a bit of a photographer and looking at the pictures I took in the past, they don’t resonate with me anymore. I realized I started to drop my past, moved on, for the far and better.
I constantly refuse to use pictures of me from an earlier week as my icon picture. My posts here from the past seems shallow to me now. Things from my past don’t represent/feel like a part of my conscious anymore, so that’s a lot of refinement and growth along the way.
When there is no past, there is no future.
Where am I going to? How do I have the ultimate magnetism for the other sex? How do I become universally attractive and irresistible? How do I love more? How do I have financial freedom I longed for? How about starting a business and bring it global?
These questions don’t die in my mind, but I start to enjoy some mystery in my life so as to do more and ask less. Let me know if I can help on anything. Thanks for reading.
Whatrichme
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