I used to masturbate every single day for an extended period of time, so to go from that to not at all was quite a challenge those first 30 days. It felt like I was missing something… I’ve never experienced drugs, but it almost felt like porn was that secret need… I almost craved to just watch it.
Yes, it was difficult. Yes, there are still some moments where I think back to it, but it’s mostly just in passing and I don’t have any real “urge” to watch porn at all.
This entire experience was challenging, yet I think after about day 30 or so, it began to be much easier. I first posted here almost 100 days ago tomorrow. https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/7sb15c/hard_to_admit_to_yourself/?st=JGPJU08J&sh=5b8ffbdb. I know there’s many threads out there with their experience with this, but here goes.
Days 1-7 drove me, in short, CRAZY. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. After that, the need just slowly started to die down. I started to not think about it anymore. Porn was a habit for me, maybe out of boredom, out of loneliness, whatever it was, I just sought it out for some reason.
Without porn, I experienced what felt like a change in me for the better. I’ve lost 20 lbs, still don’t have a boyfriend (but that’s okay haha!), and was able to focus more on my relationships with other people. I didn’t realize how negatively it affected me with other people until I noticed how my personality changed somewhat.
I’ve gotten compliments on how I just “seem different” these past few months, and the “different in a good way.” In just a quick reflection, I don’t think there is a right way to approach in a sense, this topic. But to change, I think the first step for anyone is to recognize it, and be honest with yourself. Truly honest. I lied to myself for so long, but sharing it all and being upfront allowed me to face it and try to better myself by not depending on porn and masturbating.
(I know this is “pornfree”, but I also took up the non-masturbating along with it)
I really want to thank those who helped and supported me in my original post, because it really motivated me to continue this, even on difficult days. It’s something (especially teenage girls like me) NEVER discuss, even with our closest friends, so I feel really grateful to be able to come clean on here and better myself.
Until next time, it’s just one day at time.
See you all in another 100 days (:
LINK – 100 Days Free. Wow.
UPDATE – 200 days. Wow.
It’s been 100 days since I posted my 100 day post here
I’m officially 200 days without watching porn or masturbating. (I took up the last part on my own!)
Most of what I talked about in the last post still resonates, but it’s gotten a lot easier. I don’t really have urges at all. To be honest, I really did forget I had this throwaway.
I’m really proud of myself. I guess at this point my next goal is a whole year. When I turned 17, I never expected myself to be at this point. Being a girl, porn is NEVER talked about among friends, trust me, it’s probably one of the only things none of us ever talk about. (At least in my friend group, who is very open about most things)
I still don’t have a boyfriend lol. I’m in college now though, so hopefully I’ll be able to get out there soon.
Anyways, this post is just really a big milestone.
The hardest part was the first few weeks. It really does get a lot easier. Just tell yourself no, and reward for being able to stop repeatedly. I get having a reward policy might not be the best idea, but in the early days, it is what helped me motivate myself when I said things like “Who cares?” And “what’s the point? It’s not like one time would hurt.”
Side note, my reward was buying myself something from this video game I like. (yes, fortnite lol)
I think the biggest obstacle is just constantly thinking about porn. If you read my first post, I referred to it as an “addicting hobby,” which looking back, is entirely true.
Find something to replace that time you’d use to watch porn. I started learning French, and it’s kinda crazy what I was able to do with the time I lost to masturbating and watching porn. I’d say I am now able to have an active conversation with a French person and can even understand French movies/songs because of the hour I replaced masturbating with.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I didn’t realize I was wasting my entire life then. I really enjoyed it, and it really was all I thought about. When I look back, I didn’t have any activities going on in my life. I found myself saying “I’m bored” and then that would resort to porn.
I now play piano and guitar, am attempting to better my painting and drawing skills, and am learning French simply from apps and YouTube videos.
I rarely think about porn now and it just doesn’t interest me anymore. I now think about all the above listed things. It really amazes me what you can pick up when you realize what you want to do with your free time. I’m no longer “bored”, so therefore I’m no longer seeking porn.
I actually have so many other passions I picked up, because I wasn’t always focused on watching porn. It wasn’t my priority anymore.
Anyway, I really appreciate the support. I can’t talk about this with anyone in my personal life. So coming on here and sharing, it really helps me feel like I’ve accomplished something.
Anyways, have a great day guys. 200 down. See you on day 365. 1 year.
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