It feels necessary to do this, I feel like it was a huge accomplishment I went from six years of social anxiety, awkward and annoying all the way to confident, funny and social. Im going to explain all that I went through and how my life was a living hell and how I got to NoFap. My Life Was Messy. Six years of gaming brought by peer influence (At the time i didnt believe in gaming except for playing a little playstation).Then the web search of “what is porn?” came up also brought by peer influence.
This is where I start changing, after freely running through porn and feeling shame immediately afterwards I accept it. During those porn sessions since I never knew how to fire my gun I never did anything and never got any cons accept for shame.
Shame brought me social shyness and then I learned how to do it properly after summertime I started to recieve big cons then I started to get awkward I started to become a loser and an unsocial pos in the sixth grade and this is where I really started to feel the impact but ignored it and kept it going.
Three years later then I moved back in my hometown where I belong… it feels good sorta. First day of school suns up alarms off time to walk in fresh and new well not fresh im scared and anxious. I walk through feeling the heat and pins against my entire body I stare at the ground so nobody looks at me im shaking why am I shaking? Who cares get to class. Ah never mind lets do this again…..
Sunsup! Lights on get to the shower get breakfast and meet up with my bestfriend. We meet halfway to eachothers houses after this we duece a cig I get to school nice and fresh just a lil anxious and awkward but all is good I finish up the day and go to the creek my friend is at his discipline school so I cant really hang with him but I meet up with my other buddy and deuce the rest of a cockroach we then walk off together talking about how nice of a day it is since its finally summer and head home.
Summertime! Lets go climb some roofs watch porn, smoke weed and cigarettes this then surley but slowly ends in my down fall after getting pulled over by the cops to getting grounded all of july and september it all came to an end accept for the previous August when I watch a Ted talk on pornography addiction and somehow I quit the entire month bringing on confidence but still my summer wasted away.
Yep so lets go to september when I was grounded. This brought an online search of how to get more confidence which then slowly lead me to NoFap and the forums that I surley love and of course the subreddit that almost brought me relapse but I still love.
After some fails and finally the quit date of December 27th after watching vr porn I bring out the love in myself and tell my self never to do it again unless I wish to stay this way. So many fine disciplines ahead I make my first thirtyday of no PMO although this soon ended in a MO relapse I am still Porn free which makes my entire life better. This was a long post and Im internet fasting so when I get back to this post I will answer anything!
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