I have successfully quit porn and intentional masturbation about a year and a half ago. I have zero urges or desires to visually examine porn or any artificial online sexual stimulation. I have lost this desire to watch porn a very, very long time ago. I have a girlfriend now and we make love, and the high I feel making love and connecting with her is 1,000x better than wanking to porn or without porn as well.
I didn’t consider ever writing a success story thing. I stopped using all forums a very long time ago, but when a friend of mine suggested “hey I am thinking of quitting porn” then it made me think of how I decided to quit a long time ago and made my decision private. I didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t ask or require an accountability partner (I have in previous years unsuccessfully though) and am/was successful now. My decision to quit porn was private. I told no-one, not out of fear or shame but out of a commitment of strength.
This post will be brief and to the point. In it I will outline the strategies I used that made quitting porn and masturbation **very, very EASY**. I need to emphasise that quitting porn was very easy and simple. With these strategies I used, I never found it a challenge or difficult or a battle. It was easy. I was sold from day one with these tactics, and every day just got easier and laughably simple to quit porn that I cant imagine why I didn’t try these things years and years ago.
Past History with porn
- Began watching porn as a young child. Had high sex drive as a child.
- When I was about 15 I tried to quit masturbation and porn. Unsuccessful bar 1-2 weeks here and there.
- This has repeated over the years. I have been successful going 1-2-3 weeks maximum of no porn and wanking whilst utilising Pickup Art movement to try and get a girlfriend. I was largely unsuccessful quitting porn despite having good dating and flirting skills.
- Got a girlfriend (my first girlfriend) few years back. I was still watching porn and wanking after we became “official.” She knew and she didn’t mind.
- Had many, MANY, MANY opportunities with very hot women. Never had sex drive to connect with them. Found them unattractive or weird.
History with Women. Total Virgin or Player?
- I learned pickup when I was 19. I got very, very skilled and good at it. In fact I worked as a pickup coach for a well known PUA company (I wont mention names here) for a few months before deciding to branch off and try my own business. The reason I am mentioning this is for context for my decision to do nofap. Some men choose to do nofap to try and get a girlfriend. This is valid, and indeed was my early motivation.
- I can makeout with women. I am confident. I have balls of steel with the confidence game. I have dated my university professor (a hot woman in her 40s), work colleages, friends, random women I meet during pickup. I have had sex with many, many escorts. I am sexually fairly experienced. I have dated escorts as well.
- A lot of my early motivations for trying nofap was to try and succeed with women and get a real life girlfriend. It worked…..until I began using porn again. As I said, I would abstain for 1-2 weeks and in this time my results with real life women were amazing. All women issues were solved every single time I abstained.
- I want to say I met my first girlfriend during a period of nofap. Whether it is placebo or not, who cares? It worked for me.
Previous History of Unsuccessful Attempts of Nofap
I tried nofap for multiple reasons. Every time I tried, it would be a slightly different motivation; I wanted the super powers, I wanted to feel more masculine, I wanted to have sex better, I wanted to enjoy life more, I wanted self-mastery, I wanted to stop a habit I felt previously ashamed about. I had been trying 6-7 years unsuccessful.
(My) Unsuccessful Strategies when Failing NoFap:
- ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER: I would speak with friend about a decision to stop porn and wanking. He was supportive. He would say to text him or call him every day I was successful for a period of 4 weeks. It worked. After the 4 weeks though I began using porn again
- EXERCISE, HOBBIES, MEDITATION- These items worked for distraction but did not fully credit to me quitting porn. They distracted me for a few hours or days and then I would watch porn again.
- THERAPIST: I saw 3x therapists or psychologists over the course of these years. When I saw them, they were supportive and said I was watching porn to block out emotional pain. They all said, in my way or another, that I needed to quit cold turkey and be strong. Be hard, tough and just do it. I would be successful with therapists for a few weeks, until I could no longer afford $ them and would watch porn again.
- GROUP SUPPORT GROUP: I joined a religious support group to try and quit porn. I felt weird telling the group I wanted help quitting porn. Many of them encouraged me to not be hard on myself and keep using it. Many normalised the use of porn. Many told me sex was fine. Even when I gave them a more sophistacted reason for wanting to quit porn they didn’t seem to understand. One or two members in the group were very supportive and served as accountability partners. This was very successful, until after a few weeks I decided to stop having the accountability due to personality clashes with the culture of the group.
- 12 STEP SEX ADDICTION GROUP: I joined a 12 step group for porn and the members were very successful. a lot of them had gone many months without watching porn. Again, I was able to go a few weeks clean with them but then had big arguments about the religious cult nature of (this particular) group and quit. When I quit, I also quit my nofap streak a few days later.
- BRUTE FORCE: This worked many times for a few days until I relapsed. Change was not deep or sincere enough.
What Changed this Time? What was my new motivation to Try?
There was a woman I was dating and have had play-sex with. Making out etc….I notice as I was making out with her, whilst I mentally desired her, I physically was limp. She kept inviting me over to her house all the time for sex and casual love making, and I never agreed. I didn’t have the motivation or desire to but was still watching porn at least once a day on average.
One night, she invited me over and I declined. I didn’t have any other plans and I was free to see her but chose not to.
But the next day, I was questioning myself. “Why is it I am always scared to have sex with women? Why is it that I have dated super models, hot older women, all sorts of women, and all of them always seem to fall up short? Why is it when I have sex with (some of) these women I never can get hard or cum?”
And I was sick of it. I was sick of living an existence where I could not even have a normal relationship and sex life. All I wanted was to find real life women hot again, as I did when I was a young child before I knew what porn was and had access to it.
My goal was to find this particular real life woman super hot and have sex with her. Was it that much to ask?
New Strategies that worked and led me to ONE + YEAR PERMANENT SUCCESS
I read Psycho Cybernetics. After I read it, I decided I was just going to create a new self image. A new person, I was NOT going to ‘be myself.’ I was going to pretend I was a person who had already quit porn and who had already ‘been there done that’ sort of person.
I was going to do Method Acting and act my way into becoming a person who fictionally never watched porn in the first place. I made a commitment, “this is who I am as of now” and just ‘stayed in character’ for a few days. Easy. No urges to look at porn. Every time I clicked on something that gave me a slight hint of sexual suggestion I IMMEDIATLY closed the browsing window and just re-began my internet browsing if I was using the internet.
I deleted my facebook and Instagram account. I deleted all my history and saved porn on my phone. I banned myself from paying $ for any escorts and viewing escort internet pages.
I also did Hypnosis. I hypnotised myself to become a person who was strong, in control, made decisions and followed through on all goals with single minded focus.
- I created a new self image and acted according to it
- I used self-hypnosis and I paid for a hypnosis course to assist brainwash myself that I was a new person
- I watched a lot of Derren Brown videos to suggest that hypnosis was possible
- I loved and accepted myself regardless of my choice to use porn or not. I came to a point where I said “look, if I cant give up porn no matter what, I still choose to love and accept myself.”
Success. I met a girl on day 40ish and made love with her soon. she is now my girlfriend for over a year.
I don’t watch porn at all or even have the slightest urge to.
I SLEEP BETTER, I am happier, I have more mental energy, I am emotionally so much happier and cheerful and optimistic. I am more of a risk taker and more assertive.
Thankyou, and final words:
Quitting porn is NOT what you want.
What you want is an ‘excuse’ to become a person who is STRONG, IN CONTROL of their destiny, and EMPOWERED.
Quitting porn is just a demonstration and permission slip to yourself that you are now empowered. CHOOSE to be EMPOWERED BEFORE YOU START and you will EASILY quit porn on day 1 WITH ZERO EFFORT.
Happy to answer any questions
LINK – 15 months + God Jedi Mode Success Phase
by Johhny Bravo
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