So I started this journey exactly three months ago when I decided that I wanted to change my relationship towards my own sexuality. I probably started masturbating to porn when I was 13 or so. Until about last year I would say I could not even have masturbated without watching porn. I did it pretty much everyday after school, just because; really there was no reason. I only started questioning my behavior when I started meditating, training my body and just becoming more conscious in general. After I had tried NoFap several times and after I read ‘Your brain on Porn’, I decided that I would have to give up porn completely and do a reboot – which I did.
The first month wasn’t really that special, the main part is just not listening to your brain because it’s fucked up. I didn’t even have that much of a drive to masturbate but I really wanted to freaking watch porn.
In month two my brain really started to change. I would be happy constantly and many people would even tell me how positive I seem towards them. This really gave me self- confidence. My acne, which got extremely intense during puberty, got way better – like a whole different level. I can’t say that it’s gone completely but it makes me really happy how it is already. Because here, I already was horny all the time, I finally overcame my anxiety to talk to girls. Even though I would consider myself as a quite extroverted person, I would never express my masculine feelings towards girls that I liked. I asked my crush out, she said yes but unfortunately it didn’t go any further between us after – but still, as small as it seems, for me this was a really big deal.
The main thing that I realised during month three is that I had really many ejaculations during my sleep. Once actually, I had ejaculations two nights following, probably 7-8 in the entire month. Whilst in month one I would dream about porn or superficial sexual situations this has entirely stopped now.
Also I am way more attracted to girls that before I would have considered as ugly, even though they had always been very nice individuals. I now realize that I degraded them because they were not the 10s, I was used to while watching porn – even though I am pretty self- confident about myself being able to go for the 10s around me.
I might continue with this journey, I don’t know. I feel like this had been one of the most effective things I had ever done to myself in order to self- improve and live a healthy life. I definitely feel healed – no more porn, ever.
LINK – 90 days no PM
by Kritsch
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