Now that I got your attention: I am figuratively speaking. I am on my first ever NoFap streak (nearly 6 months now) and would like to share some of my experiences with you. What I can tell straight off the bat is that NoFap has been so impactful that my memory is divided in two parts: NoFap and pre-NoFap.
INTRO AND MOTIVATIONA little about myself: I am in my mid-twenties, never had a real relationship and still a PIV virgin due to PIED. I wasn’t a hardcore porn watcher but masturbated on a daily basis, mostly to softcore stuff such as Instagram ‘models’, music videos and girl solos. I had some ‘online flings’ with beautiful girls but, at one point, realized that I wasn’t really in love. I seemed to be in it mostly for the sexting.
One of these flings got a little more serious when we started making plans to visit each other. I had met this girl in real life during an exchange year, but we didn’t hang out. We starting liking each other through social media after returning to our home countries. The thought of actually visiting her, far away on a different continent, scared the shit out of me. I was insecure about my lack of sexual experience and couldn’t stop thinking about how awkward I would feel meeting her family, friends, etc. Even spending a prolonged period of time with someone of the opposite sex was something that would be very new to me.
Around the same time, I visited a city not too far from where I live. Turns out that the girl from my first serious internet fling studied there. To be clear: this is not the same girl that I was going to visit. Either way, I met up with the girl from my first internet fling while I visited that city. We had never met until that point and it was magical. We hit it off and I ended up spending the night with her. Everything was great, except I got soft as soon as she reached for a condom. I had major performance anxiety and I’m pretty sure I was also suffering from PIED. This absolutely crushed me, but I realized I felt more for this girl than for the other.
Fast forward 2 weeks: I lost both these girls and I lost my own self-respect. I always thought I was a ‘nice guy’ but realized I instead was a selfish bastard, enslaved to my sexuality (despite being a virgin), taking advantage of others and opportunities that arose.
But my biggest realization was that I was a coward. I didn’t have the balls to actually go meet that girl. I didn’t have the ‘level’ for it. In life you can’t use cheat codes to pass missions. You can’t use cheat codes to level up. This can only happen through hard work and dedication.
START OF MY NOFAP JOURNEYSo around this time I realized I had to do something about my situation. I can’t live with my parents forever. I don’t want to live in fear forever. I don’t be alone forever. I had to man up.
Around this time I found out about NoFap. Reading people’s stories on this subreddit motivated the hell out of me. I was sceptical, but was willing to give it a try as I identified with some of the stories on here. I soon started to notice a change in my aggressiveness and ‘sexual sensitivity’. From there, I quickly added other habits such as cold showers, meditation and spending more time outside. I was also finding it easier to stay dedicated to going to the gym. I soon realized I had been addicted to not only PMO, but also to comfort, for basically my entire life. Furthermore, I quit social media completely. This was something I used daily for the past 8 years at least. I also quit video games cold turkey and don’t miss them anymore. All in all I started living a very ‘clean’ life, with focus on both physical and mental health, pursuing ‘real’ relations instead of digital ones.
I also started doing other activities such as ice skating classes, rock climbing and piano classes. All of which are things I never thought I would be doing. I met more new people in these last 6 months than in the 5 past years together. My social confidence was rising every day and I already took notice of the fact that the whole ‘female attraction’ thing is very real. During the ice skating classes I met a girl and we often did our exercises together. We never asked each others names, but she told me about her job. One day, 2 months or so after the last class of the season, I realized I was quite close to where she works. I contemplated entering the store and realized that, if I didn’t do it, I would feel like a failure. So I entered the store, we made eye contact and she seemed happy to see me. We had a brief conversation for a few minutes and I then proceeded to buy something from the store. She walked with me to the register and, believe it or not, she wrote down her number on the back of the receipt! Adding “let me know if you want to do something fun sometime”. This is the first time something like this ever happened to me. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised.
DATINGSoon after, we started dating and the 4th date took place at her house. We kissed but I felt I wasn’t completely in love. She’s a bit older than me and probably a few steps ahead of me in her life. A few days later I asked her if I could come by her place “to talk”. 99% of girls will understand what was meant by that. She agreed and the hours in between my message and actually going to her place were nerve-wracking. Dating and conversing with a real girl like this is very new to me, and eventhough I thoroughly enjoyed it, I realized both of us would be better off without a 5th date.
When I got to her place we did a bit of small talk and then I told her what had been bothering me. To my surprise, she responded very understanding and relaxed. She told me she also wasn’t sure about everything yet and told me her point of view. Coincidentally, just like I had been thinking about how it would be better for her to date an older guy, she told me she had been thinking that it would be better for me to date a girl who’s a bit younger than me. There was a lot of mutual respect. This was such a relief, because I HATE disappointing people, especially in my situation where I don’t exactly have this happen to me every day. By the time I got home she texted me how grateful she was for having been able to experience this together, and that we handled this with utmost respect. We will probably meet up from time to time as friends.
LESSONS AND FUTUREAlthough I am disappointed with what happened, I am very proud of myself for handling the situation in the way I did. I could’ve texted her. I could’ve called her. But those methods are not in line with my path of personal growth. NoFap gave me the balls to rise to the occasion and face my fears. The outcome of our talk was better than I had dared to hope.
Because of NoFap, for the first time in my life am I actually excited for the future. I never really cared about the future. For some reason I couldn’t see myself getting old. My personal growth has changed that perspective. I realize I am in much more control over my life than I had always thought. Another major thing that happened during my NoFap journey was losing my job. I feel like I’ve actually attracted this. NoFap gave me the power and aggression to stand up to unacceptable behaviour of some of my coworkers. Although I didn’t make a lot of friends in the process of doing so, I am happy I did it. I expressed myself instead of holding back and bowing down. I feel like I was stuck at that place and I am happy this all happened. This will allow me to start a new life. I am also excited about travelling in the coming months since I won’t have a job.
OTHER OBSERVATIONSMy story is long and I guess it can be told from all types of perspectives. I chose to do it from the perspective of love and dating, but the observations, lessons and benefits go way beyond that. I will try to list a few of them below:
NoFap = enlightenment. I feel like I can see and understand myself and the world around me a lot clearer. I can cut through the bullshit like a hot knife through butter. I have grown A LOT spiritually during these 6 months. Brain fog is a thing of the past!
Big progress can only come from small steps. Incorporating good habits is a must. You’ll be surprised how much you and your world will change on the long term by simply staying disciplined to a few simple habits. Look into concepts such as Kaizen and The Slight Edge.
NoFap will grow you a backbone. This goes hand in hand with the discipline I mentioned above. On NoFap, I find it a lot easier saying no to unhealthy foods and activities. Once again, big change comes from small steps. NoFap finally allowed me to work on a long-term goals. I had absolutely no backbone before NoFap.
This discipline has brought me a better physique than I ever had. I am still a relative skinny guy, but look noticeably better than before. This is all related to my NoFap journey. I spend much more time outside which means I have a nice natural tan most of the time. Cold showers make my skin shine and silky smooth. Also my hair. My increased gym discipline gave me more gainz, too. Oh and not to forget: my eyes are a lot brighter. My look is intense and focused. “Them limbal rings, tho!”
My guy downstairs looks and feels a lot healthier. I haven’t had sex yet, and that will probably still be scary for me. However, I have way more natural boners now and finally experience real morning wood from time to time. Overall it just feels better, and I am confident that all will work fine once I get comfortable with the right girl. Mind you, I used to masturbate with a flaccid penis most of the time. It was that bad. I am never ever going back.
Change of subjects: I appreciate nature A LOT more. I love spending time in nature now, just thinking, observing and listening. Spend time outside guys. Spend time in nature. Walk, run, chill, whatever you do. But go outside. And give your eyes some rest for fuck’s sake! Stay away from screens as much as possible. One thing that I found very beneficial is going out in nature and looking far into the distance. This really relaxes your eyes.
My body odor is a lot stronger. My mom doesn’t necessarily like it, but we both agree that I smell different and stronger. This shit is real. It’s crazy to think how much not fapping benefits you, and that I have been doing it for +/- 14 years.
Physically I’ve done things which I thought were impossible. Atleast for me. Cold showers got me into cold exposure and the Wim Hof technique. On my third attempt I was able to sit in natural water for 15 minutes, with an outside temperature of 1 °C (approx. 34 °F). I nearly died in the process but that doesn’t matter. Both mentally and physically I was able to push way further. I also finished a 16k run in 85 minutes and a 10k run in 48 minutes after practicing just 5 times. This may not be too impressive for some of you but I hadn’t done any cardio activity for years before this.
Not sure how I didn’t mention this earlier, but my overall base happiness increased with about 50%. I just feel good most of the time. I am less bothered by small issues and find more happiness in things which I normally overlooked. I am less stressed overall and my body doesn’t react as strong to stress as it normally did.
My social circle got bigger and stronger. I now finally have a few female friends, which I never really had in my life. At least not ones who were geographically close to me. I noticed that, through sharing my self-improvement enthousiasm, I also managed to inspire some of my close friends. They all experience benefits even without having read up on them beforehand. This allowed me to have friendships on an even deeper level. It really is amazing. The relationship with my parents and brother also got better. They all know of my journey.
I feel worthy. Worthy of experiencing nice things. Worthy of being with the right girl for me. This is a really great feeling and a lesser heard benefit of NoFap in my experience. I seem to be more at peace with what’s happening and trust that the universe guides me in the right direction. I am also a lot ‘cooler’ (as in calm, I guess) in social situations, or situations that I experienced as ‘awkward’ before.
I noticed a slight increase in the volume, thickness and growth time of my facial hair. For some reason I’ve also noticed this for my hands, wrists and forearms. A good friend of mine noticed he had hair growing on his back, too. He never really had this before NoFap and is around 30 years of age.
One of my personal favorite benefits is the fact that I don’t seem to be invisible anymore. Before NoFap, people would rarely notice me out in public. I have gone to the same gym for about 2,5 years, and nobody ever talked to me, except for the instructors. Since I started NoFap, people all of a sudden seem to notice me and respect me. The bigger guys in the gym greet me when I walk in and respect me. People randomly strike up conversations with me. I even had a pretty lady (late 30’s I think) say that “I must have abs of steel”. Now I am not going to lie and say that random girls outside the gym make these comments, but the amount of interactions I have with strangers skyrocketed since I started NoFap.
Related to the above: I can confirm the women attraction. Girls stare at me, and I’ve had friends say to me “dude, that girl was checking you out the entire time” on multiple occassions. I am not sure what, but they just feel it. They smell it. With regard to girls who I do interact with, I noticed they seem to be more interested in me. They’ll laugh when I am not even trying to be funny. I’ve had numerous girls (some of them who I barely knew) invite themselves for a ride in my car (I own an American classic). One girl who did so was a friend of a female friend of mine whom I met while on NoFap (the female friend is a friend of a buddy of mine). From that I conclude that they apparently had been discussing me in their social interactions. Never before in my life did I feel like girls would do that.
Music is way more enjoyable. I appreciate a broader range of music genres now. Fuckin’ love it.
My real, genuine belly laugh is coming back. Excessive masturbation and constant overload of dopamine really messes you up to the point where you can barely laugh anymore. I am much more joyful since NoFap and the people around me notice.
Each two-three weeks, my voice noticeably drops for a few days. It becomes very strong and bassy. Feels great. I really wonder what the science is behind this. There seems to be some kind of cycle going on.
I dream a lot more. Sometimes I have like 5 different dreams in one night’s sleep. Before NoFap I barely dreamt. How things have changed!
This would be all for now. I probably forgot loads of stuff, but if I continue now I might end up writing a bible. Ask me anything you want!
Keep it up, NoFap gang! Or.. ehrmm.. down..
LINK – NoFap has gifted me with balls of exceptional size (6 months NoFap story)
by SemenPatrol
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