I made it 134 days without pmo. Now, most of that should not count because I was in training for 15 weeks without access to my cellphone or privacy for 12 of those 15. The real success comes in the form of being rebooted. My mind doesn’t revolve around porn, sex, or women anymore. I find women beautiful for something other than sex appeal.
The failure: I pmo’d today. I don’t feel bad. I needed the “maintenance” down there because, well frankly, I felt like I deserved it. Hell, I’ll probably still MO, at least for a little while. But I felt different while looking at porn, and here is where my success over porn comes in.
While searching for videos I could not find a single one that appealed to me because of how degrading it was for the woman. I even stepped over to erotica, but still could sense the hesitation of the actress involved. The shots weren’t for her pleasure, but only the viewers’. Three and a half months ago I would have never even thought about that while watching porn. Something changed, be it my morals or my point-of-view.
So, I’d like to declare myself an enemy of the porn industry. Not for any self-righteous cause, but because for every woman, man, and trans it lifts up, hundreds are degraded by the industry. Sex should be about pleasure for both individuals. I just don’t see that in porn today.
So there’s my success of making it past 90 days, my failure today to continue, and my final success over porn’s grasp over me. Cheers to your future endeavors!
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