An Attempt to Face Porn Addiction by Carrying Out Fantasies (Shemale)

I’ve been hooked on shemale porn for over a decade. I watched normal porn for a few years, progressed to harder fetishes, and then got started on the shemale porn. I made numerous attempts to stop watching porn and had some success. After spending weeks away, my attraction to females was stronger than ever, the idea of shemales became less appealing, and I felt better overall. But, I always ended up relapsing. After weeks away from it, the shemale porn sometimes didn’t even turn me on and I would end up watching normal female porn. But, for some reason, I felt like I had to keep checking the shemale porn. Eventually, I’d get back into it stronger than ever.This cycle of relapse and regret has been hell over the past few years. Since there seem to be many guys who are hooked on shemale porn and none have succeeded at getting past it for the long-term by trying to suppress the urges, I decided to carry out the fantasy in real life to see if I would truly enjoy being with one long-term.

I met a transgender girl who acted, sounded, and looked like a very attractive female. We went to the movies and I was aroused by the thought of her having a penis that nobody else knew about. We ended up having sex and it was a bit less appealing. I could still get aroused, but it didn’t turn me on the same way the porn did. I didn’t feel great afterwards like I do after having sex with an attractive female. I left with mixed feelings, but I decided to meet up with her again on a separate occasion. The novelty of it this time was lacking compared to before. During sex, I felt somewhat turned off by the male genitalia and started to fantasize about having sex with a normal female and how much more attractive the female anatomy is.

So, I think it’s clear that the porn creates a fantasy that is not attainable or may not even be appealing in reality. I’m not sure if this encounter will help me realize the way porn has morphed my interests or if it will just add to my confusion.