Is porn making my social anxiety/confidence/depression/anxiety/OCD/bipolar worse? Scroll down for a sample of the many stories we have heard.
- As of 2021 over 90 studies link porn use to poorer mental-emotional health & poorer cognitive outcomes
- A PDF with many accounts of social anxiety improving after quitting porn
- 2016 poll on shyness and masturbation
- Examination of the Correlation Between Internet Addiction and Social Phobia in Adolescents (2016 study)
- Smartphone Addiction May Make You Depressed, Study Warns
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UPDATE:
[Three weeks of abstinence from porn and masturbation] reduced mental and physiological fatigue. Furthermore, medium effects were discovered in measures of increased wakefulness, activity, inspiration, self-control, and reduced shyness.
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Said a recovering porn user:
I knew I was more than I appeared to be. More knowledgeable, funnier, more socially intelligent. I had all of these skills, but I couldn’t use them. It was like driving a Ferrari and being stuck in 1st gear.
Is too much porn the cause? It may well be. Since we wrote our first article raising the possibility of a link between social anxiety and heavy Internet porn use, recovering porn users continue to report a reduction in social anxiety as one of the most common improvements when they stop using Internet porn. See for example: I’m still myself but I’m free of the shackles we call social phobia.
We are not saying that Internet porn is the primary cause of social anxiety or depression in young men. No one knows what percentage of those with SAD have porn use as a contributing factor because no researchers have studied what happens to social anxiety when guys quit porn for a few months. Streaming Internet porn is a fairly new phenomenon, no porn-virgin control groups are possible, and few studies have even asked about social anxiety and porn use. Here are a couple that address shyness and social development in connection with porn use:
- Emerging Adult Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors: Does Shyness Matter? (2013)
- The Impact of Internet Pornography on Adolescents: A Review of the Research (2012)
- Social bonds and Internet pornographic exposure among adolescents (2009)
In his 5 minute TED Talk, “The Demise of Guys” famous psychologist Phillip Zimbardo noted that “arousal addiction” (porn, video games) is a major factor in social anxiety. Also see Zimbardo’s book: Man, Interrupted: Why Young Men are Struggling …
Listen to podcast on the connection between social anxiety and porn
Here are the comments of some guys:
First guy: About a month ago I decided to give up PMO. I ended up going 14 days total without masturbation. During this time my mood was never better. I’ve been going to a therapist to resolve my emotional issues but I was at the point where I cancelled appointments because I felt great and just wanted to continue feeling great. The next day I got a huge craving/thought about a porn actress that I liked and ended up binging. I never realised how addicted I was to porn until that day. It was a rush of “oh my god I need this right now” but the release I felt was incredibly empty.
I binged the next day and the emotional hell that I’ve experienced for years came back. I was incredibly surprised to realize that a lot of my emotional issues were related to stopping PMO so I tried another week. I gave a weak excuse and binged. This time old feelings of suicidal and despair came back. It was a nightmarish 3 days but I started my recovery again. It’s been 9 days since PMO and I’m back to my balanced self. I don’t have the social anxiety, or fear that something bad will happen to me, that I used to. My depression is gone and I’m not worried about anything. Things that would make me angry are now a thing of the past. I was at a local music show recently and someone shoved me while passing through. I ended up shoving them back and not worrying at all about the consequences. This confidence that I have feels great and can only get better with time. My goal is a full 8 weeks.
Second guy: I look at the girls and wow they are marvelous creatures. Their long hair, their magnificent laughter and their awesome curves. I`m not flatlining anymore so to speak. It’s like girls have a device for picking up on excess sexual energy, and yeah I`m on their radar! It’s funny how isolating this addiction can be. A few weeks of abstaining can show you have easy it is to make contact with everyone. Just smile and say, “hi.”
Third guy: That’s a familiar feeling. You just suddenly realize that you’re not suffering of social anxiety anymore.
Fourth guy: I quit at the beginning of 2012. Before that I was constantly trying to cure my anxiety. I spent 2 years in therapy and was constantly trying to restructure my thoughts, but there were times, especially around girls i didn’t know, where I would get these panic attacks. It wasn’t even my thought process; it was just an automatic. Since quitting, that has completely gone away. I have no more social anxiety. I’m not depressed anymore because of that, and many people, including my family, have commented on how I am not so shut in and irritable all the time. This lack of panic attacks could not be a placebo. There are times when I think I’m gonna have one and I just don’t. It’s not a confidence thing, it’s a change in brain chemistry.
It took time. I was still getting some panic attacks around day 64. There were also times during my reboot where i felt like I got worse socially. I felt a lot more confident, but was all of a sudden was socially clueless.What happened with me was I felt things would all come to me way to naturally, when instead, i now realize I still have to try and put forth an effort. I was sitting there and just thought that I would magically start being fun and social. I realize now this was wrong.
I can also say for sure that it was when i started watching a lot of porn around age 15 that things really started to take a turn for the worse. I was a promising athlete who could have been a really great player, but i basically lost my drive to improve and stopped practicing everyday. After quitting, I regained that drive and passion to play. I hate the fact that its too late to make a college career out of it.
Fifth guy: Change ‘porn’ or ‘fapping’ to some other addiction, and it might be easier to see why there is so much fervor for some people. If you’re not addicted, you are like a casual drinker who sees if he can go a month without drinking. At the end of the month, you say ‘hmmm, that wasn’t so bad, but I think I’ll go out with my buddies and have a drink’. You can do so, because you’re probably not an alcoholic.
But many of the people on here have addictions to masturbation and/or porn. For them, they see some of the same type of life/health benefits that an alcoholic would see after a few months of being sober. The first few weeks are hard … VERY hard. And the benefits are pretty obvious.
But for many of us, that’s because we weren’t fully functioning in society. People’s descriptions of superpowers are really just normal powers. Imagine if someone came up to you and said “dude, I’ve developed the superpower of being able to make it through the day without pissing myself”. You’d probably think they were crazy until they said “oh yeah, I am an alcoholic”. Many of the superpowers described by nofappers would sound equally laughable to someone who is not stricken by some of the social anxieties and other issues brought on by Internet/porn addiction (for example, many nofappers are incredulous that without porn they’ll actually talk to women, and that women will talk back … to them, the lack of social anxiety, the ability to get an erection at 20-something, and willingness of women to recognize them are considered super powers).
The thing about porn is that it has crept up on society as a major problem. It is easy to hide, the side effects are less obvious than drinking/drugs, and it is typically done outside of the view of others. It’s often easy to spot a hardcore alcoholic, but can you spot a hardcore porn addict? The internet has made instant gratification so incredibly easy, and the rush so strong, that it is no wonder that 20,000+ people are trying to rid themselves of it.
Sixth guy: I asked my therapist about this and he asked another therapist expert in addictions. He told me that it is true porn causes a reaction in the brain that causes you to not be social. I’m very socially awkward and I have social anxiety. I can’t hold a conversation if my life depended on it. I think I can reclaim my life by stopping porn. I’ve been watching this vile shit since i was 8, now 21. So thank you 4 making this presentation and giving this info.
Seventh guy: NoFap cured my social anxiety. Hands down. 125 days in, I went from a pussy at work, afraid of my boss, just taking orders. Now, I’m more of a leader, I am confident in myself and more focused, no social anxiety at all. Now it seems like my boss is afraid of me.. haha, no, but seriously i think NoFap could help your anxiety immensely. I would give it a try. http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/28xiqx/i_have_anxiety_maybe_nofap_will_help/
If you were very social before you began using Internet porn, the chances are good that your social anxiety will reverse itself fairly quickly. You should see improvements within two weeks of stopping intense stimulation via porn/masturbation/fantasy/climax.
If you were socially anxious before you stumbled upon the nakedness of the Internet, you are still likely to notice improvements when you give your brain a rest from extreme stimulation. However, you’ll have to make a concerted effort to get connected with others. There are many ideas here. and in this article: 44 Experts Reveal How to Overcome Social Anxiety (hint: you don’t have to face your fears).
Many people suffer from social anxiety, so there’s lots of support available. Browse the Web for good forums. And start connecting with real people in small ways. Walk through a public area and try making eye contact with a few people. Then try smiling at a few. Then try nodding or speaking a greeting. Be patient and give yourself credit for your progress, however slow.
- For a comprehensive explanation of the many benefits reported by ex-porn users see: Porn, Masturbation and Mojo: A Neuroscience Perspective
- The YBOP radio show covers this: Internet Porn: Social Anxiety & Confidence (show #12)
Reversing addiction-related brain changes likely play a role in reported benefits. Addictions cause a decline in dopamine (D2) receptors, which is a major aspect of desensitization. Recent Internet addiction brain studies all show the same brain changes as found in substance addicts, including reduced dopamine D2 receptors and dopamine transporters. Dopamine balance is critical for peak social functioning. Indeed, research shows that social anxiety correlates with low dopamine (D2) receptors. The drug-like withdrawal symptoms that recovering users often suffer when they stop are more evidence of an addiction process at work.
Incidentally, porn use has to alter more than just the fundamental addiction pathways (in some brains). It’s striking how frequently porn addicts report chronic sexual dysfunction, which reverses itself as they recover. This doesn’t happen with other addictions. These broader effects may help explain loss of mojo. Could porn addiction, because it hijacks sexuality, have the power to interfere with the brain circuits that govern normal male mating/courting behavior?
Primates, D2 receptors and dominant males:
- First question: What’s one primary biological difference between dominant and submissive primates? Dominant primates have higher levels of dopamine D2 receptors. They were not born with higher levels of D2 receptors, rather “becoming” a dominant male caused the increase.
- Inducing addiction in these same primates resulted in the same low levels of D2 receptors in all the males.
- Second question: During rebooting, are reported increases in confidence, sociability, and motivation related to regaining dopamine D2 receptor or dopamine levels?
Finally, low dopamine signalling has long suspected to be involved in depression. Recently, research confirmed that low dopamine is the main player in depression and low motivation. From the researchers;
“the VTA dopamine circuitry we studied is very similar in both rodents and humans. And we have shown that the neurons in this circuit specifically cause, correct and encode diverse symptoms of depression. This is a significant advance in our understanding of the biological underpinnings of depression and related behaviors,”
The good news is that many former users bloom socially when they allow their dopamine signalling to return to baseline (by skipping intense stimulation for a time). Fears and awkwardness decrease, mood improves, sexual responsiveness increases, colors seem brighter, and life’s subtler pleasures are more fulfilling. Social skills often bubble up naturally—much to the surprise of the recovering users. On the other hand, when they relapse, the familiar symptoms arise again. Eventually, they find a balance that works for them, often without Internet porn (because it’s just too stimulating at a brain-chemical level).
- Entertaining self-poll comparing Fap and NoFap effects on female attention
- Free course for those suffering with “uncomfortable mindweather” (mental and emotional distress)
Here are comments from recovering users:
Day 60: My experiences so far- Totally worth it!
I am 26 and have been addicted to PMO since the age of 14. I started with “normal” porn but eventually escalated to extreme genres and fetishes. For years I wondered why I was so anxious and awkward around people. Why had I never had a girlfriend? Other people seemed to naturally connect and have affection for each other, but I always felt like I had to fake it, as if I wasn’t human. I also lacked motivation. I was content wasting hours mindlessly browsing the internet while many of my friends moved forward with their lives. I never knew what “normal” felt like. I assumed there was something wrong with me compared to other people.
Anyway, 60 days in and I already feel like a new person. I have experienced so many benefits that I cannot even list them all here, but below is an overview of experiences from my first 7 weeks. The first benefits showed up 3-4 weeks in:
- More confidence and emotional stability. A newfound sense of virility.
- Less desire to waste excessive time browsing the internet and playing video games
- Stronger and healthier attraction to women (not just looking at body parts)
- Stronger, richer voice. Became more articulate.
- Less social awkwardness. More desire to be around people.
- Fog seemed to lift off of my life. Day-to-day life began seeming more interesting.
- Stronger desire to exercise. Better able to maintain an exercise routine. Feeling stronger, increased endurance.
- Less attraction and addiction to sugary junk food.
- More energy in general for day-to-day life. Stronger desire to make the most of free time and spend time outdoors.
- Huge increase in motivation. Procrastinating day-to-day chores far less. Becoming more neat and organized.
- Mind feels sharper and clearer. Better able to stay focused on tasks.
I am so mad at psychologists and psychiatrists
these people have so much college education apparently yet they couldn’t tell me that my anxiety was caused by porn addiction? i cant tell you how many different doctors i went to and they all tried to make me go to counseling, give me pills, but guess what? I have finally been able to connect with people and realized that when i went 40 days of no pmo, no mo, i have less anxiety then i could ever remember. wtf is wrong with doctors today?
Being PornFree helps with SHYNESS AND SOCIAL ANXIETY – HERE’S WHY
Hey Fellas,
I haven’t touched porn in years and my longest streak with no masturbation is 440 days. I talk about my experience with porn and masturbation, and how it affects social anxiety in this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYY3gM8AIW8
Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any questions.
Since [I quit fapping], I have met a girl, been going out more, and have made new friends. This is huge for me considering that all my life I have had social anxiety and have always been introverted. For the first time in my life, I am becoming much more social and it feels incredible. Words cannot explain how happy I am.
OCD 80% improved after only 30 days – Age 45 – More energy, Anxiety pretty much gone, More confidence, Less OCD symptoms, Brain fog gone, More loving feelings towards others
Unexpected personal achievement: communal showers. Something I didn’t expect happened today and I’m pretty sure that its thanks to NoFap. It’s probably gonna sound silly to you, but for me it’s huge ! Since I finished high school, I never had the courage to use communal showers at the gym/pool/etc. It had nothing to do with my weight or the size of my junk, I have a somewhat normal body (at least for now) and slightly above average dick. Its just that whenever I would get close to them, it felt like every cell in my body was screaming at me that I didn’t belong in there with all the other real men. So I would always use stalls or skip showering if there wasn’t any.
But earlier today after I finished my workout, I walked next to the stalls and continued to the open area. It wasn’t really a conscious thing, I sure wasn’t planning on doing it when I got to the gym, it simply felt natural. Even tho I knew there were guys already showering there, I wasn’t afraid or uncomfortable in any way. It was quite packed and I had to use a shower head right between 2 dudes much more buffed than me, but I didn’t care. I just showered like everyone else without any anxiety. I even made small talk with the other guys which is also remarkable, I’m usually really bad at it when fully dressed so doing it naked surrounded by people is incredible.
I’m only on day 5, but I already feel much more confident and socially comfortable than a week ago, or any point in the last 6 years for that matter. My cock also seems to enjoy this break, as I noticed that the skin looks more hydrated and the head has a healthier color. I’m usually a grower, but today it was more of a shower, and while visually my balls are the same, they somehow feel fuller. I must admit that I had some doubts when I started this thing, but they’re all gone now ! I can’t believe this is all happening for real, and I have this amazing and supportive community to thank for !!!
Today I withdrew from 20 mg of Adderall (I have ADHD and take it as prescribed). Typically, on days I miss my meds, I experience intense withdrawal symptoms – lethargy, depression, etc. Today however, I haven’t experienced any withdrawals. I’m assuming it’s due to the whole “increased dopamine receptor sensitivity” thing, but I’m still amazed by this. Interesting observation
I think it’s because of PMO. When I was a little kid I didn’t have any social problems, now I have social anxiety/awkwardness and fear of eye contact. Since I’m doing NoFap I can make eye contact more easily and my anxiety/awkwardness got better, It’s still there, but it’s better now. Link
The difference is night and day for me, even when just in “moderation”.
I have much more energy. I’m starting to get the sense of drive back for things. I feel much more comfortable with who I am, as I have nothing to feel shameful for.
Even though I feel all of this, the occasional urge comes to me. It’s scary how powerful porn is on the brain.
Seriously, screw porn.
NoFap and my Borderline Personality Disorder
I have bpd and I have been fapping since my teenage years (now I am 35) . Now I have learned that Porn and masturbation addictions were the easy escape for me. Being bpd is like being a man walking without an emotional skin. Even the slightest triggers are able to burn you and makes your feelings hit the roof. I used to watch porn and masturbate for more than a decade of my life which I won’t get back. It gave me instant gratification, it gave me a rush of dopamine when I was emotionally down or under stress, but it toke a lot from me… it toke the joy of life the joy if interacting with people. I turned into an introvert whose life is mostly indoors and without social life. I waited for the time to pass and to get home coz I didn’t want to interact with people, I have satisfaction to myself. But now i know it was a false satisfaction. It’s not compared by any means to real human interactions and to real human feelings.. it was fake. A fake world that I kept myself in away from real joy of life and from experiencing being Human. It gave me more social anxiety. It gave me depression, I was constantly seeking more dopamine through porn coz my brain got desensitised to it. My brain didn’t enjoy natural dopamine release because it was in a total mess .
Now I have taken the decision to stop fapping. I can see progress. I can feel being human again like I used to feel long ago. It is not an easy journeyI know. But it really worth the fight for it. The fight to reclaim yourself and your human being… Every time I face the crises mode I visit this subreddit, and you guys gives me the push I needed by reading your stories and your real life experiences. I thank you for sharing and here I am sharing my story with you.
Getting better at creating and maintaining eye contact was a huge issue for me for a long time, and I was actively working on it. When I would make eye contact, sometimes the urge to break it was so powerful, it seemed impossible to maintain it through an entire conversation. Now I’m two weeks into NoFap, and eye contact is SIGNIFICANTLY easier. I feel no shame staring at someone in the eyes throughout a whole conversation, and I feel that I am having better conversations and making better connections because of it.
I used to have to really actively make myself look people in the eye, but over the last week or so, I have noticed myself automatically making and holding eye contact without much effort.
Has anybody else noticed/enjoyed this effect? I’m pretty sure it’s a real benefit of NoFap and not a placebo but who knows.
I now see decrease in my social anxiety. I suffered from anxiety for more than 4 years and now at last it’s going extinct. For all of you think nofap is fake, you are a total idiot.
I tried all method to stop social anxiety. Medication, meditation, improving social skills etc but none of them worked.
I tried personal coaching for 2 years and yet didn’t see much improvement. I don’t know how it gets better with nofap but I can assure you it certainly does get extremely better. Just give nofap a go and see how your results skyrocket.
This is it guys. Just do nofap and you will see life again.
I’ve become sarcastic and i have a newfound ego
From day 1-30 i didn’t really notice a drastic change. i had all the normal things like facial hair growth, muscle mass, deeper voice. yada yada. Which is amazing.
Now I’ve just reached day 40 and something has changed, like i honestly DON’T GIVE A SHIT about what anyone thinks or what i do. My mind is not overthinking anything which is very scary for me since i’m a quiet person and don’t really have much to say. but i love it so far.
My Sarcasm is far unmatched in with my friends and people i know. Not in a bad way, but the wit i have and how fast without hesitation i’m actually funny
Ex: Went to a Halloween party this weekend, not usually the mingling type kinda just sit back and watch everyone. BUT i ended up at a table with 3 women and a few guys, talking and keeping up conversations like i actually fit in. Amazing.
Also at the party this question came up from a card game and i grabbed it, Said, does porn turn you on and when was the last time you watched it? so naturally laughed and looked at everyone said with a straight face and said 40 days and nights. The look on their faces were priceless and they didn’t believe me lol.
The main problem in my life always was social anxiety, the absence of any social skills and ability to talk. Even when I was 4-5 years old, I remember how I was not able to say hello to my kindergarten crush, and when she hugged me, I was paralyzed and nervous af. Middle school bullying strengthened my anxiety, and every time when I met new people, I have these anxious thoughts about rejection and how they will make fun of me because I’m too shy and too awkward. Now I am 17. During my life, I had only 2-3 friends at one time, and most of the time was sitting at home being afraid of any social interactions. Maybe it sounds familiar to some of you.
One year ago my parents and I decided that I will study abroad this year, what actually happened, and now I’m writing it in a school library in a whole different country. I arrive at school in October, in a whole another country, full of teenagers from different countries. That time was one of the worst periods of my life. There is no bullying here, but I started feeling lonely here. If in my country I have a couple of friends and my best friend was from my class, here I had nobody. I was really depressed for a long period of time while everyone had fun. At one point, I’ve decided that social anxiety is the thing that I need to overcome somehow. After watching videos and reading articles, I remembered about NoFap. To be honest, I do not remember how I found NoFap, it was a long time ago, and I was not taking it seriously. And also, I didn’t know that NoFap helps you with social confidence. It just appeared in my mind, probably after another session of masturbation. I noticed that I feel tired after jerking off, which affects my studies. I made deeper research into NoFap, and when I was reading one article about the benefits of NoFap, I saw these familiar words. Social Anxiety. Nofap helps with social anxiety. I was shocked. No fuckng way it can help me. A started deeper research about NoFap affection of it on Social Anxiety and found out that it is not a magical cure for it and sometimes it does not help. NoFap gives you confidence but if you had severe social anxiety it will not save you from it.
Anyways on the first day of 2021, I started my journey and my first big streak was 7 days. For 4 months my biggest streaks were 7-9 days but at one point I motivated myself enough to go through urges and to not listen to my brain for a little amount of time and now I am here (my day counter). And if you are wondering does it help me with my social anxiety. No, it doesn’t help at all. IT FUCKING DESTROYS IT. Yesterday I was dancing with a speaker in my hand in front of my crush and she was laughing. After this, I asked her to help me with math and it ended up with a very deep 2-hour dialogue. It was a hot girl and I have a crush on her. I was not nervous at all. I was feeling like real alpha. So if you wondering if nofap can cure your social anxiety and awkwardness, just stfu and start.
Nofap eliminated my social anxiety
I’m only on day 22 and I don’t feel shy anymore, I can talk to random people and actually have fun without feeling nervous, I smile at them and they smile back. even though it was one of the hardest things I ever done starting nofap was probably the best decision I’ve ever made. “On the other side of suffering there is greatness” – David Goggins Stay strong guys we will make it!
I also thought i had social anxiety, but after a year of nofap and relapsing at times, i realized that i never had social anxiety.
Massive life success 7 weeks in WOW. Experienced shared
OCD symptoms: A major life shift i noticed is I have got rid of my perfectionist illusion, I don’t make plans anymore, I’m not too bothered of my house being super clean to the dot, I am a lot more organized and mature that I feel my anxiety has reduced from getting things right. The concept of perfection is impossible has hit me at last.
I have BPD, and on nofap I am less sensitive to rejection.
Like it says, I have BPD, and because of that I am very sensitive to even imagined rejection. I get this real bad feeling when I feel rejected, and It’s significantly easier to deal with on 33 day’s of nofap. My depression isn’t as bad as usual ether. I’m always looking for a chance to get hard, or have sex now throw. It’s just a constant buz of gett laid now.
I love nofap!!! I can actually talk to people!!!
It’s only been 21 days, and I already notice a difference. I couldn’t talk to my parents without getting super defensive and hostile. Now I am much more chill
NoFap conpletely obliterates my anxiety. It’s gone. Completely gone.
It’s such a big contrast I sometimes worry about me being so relaxed all the time like wtf am I suddenly a stone cold psychopath or something? I literally don’t care what anybody thinks of me anymore.
Fucking amazing.
Social Anxiety Barely Noticable
I started a new job today and it was fantastic. Usually my social anxiety would have me all stressed out for the first month of started at a new place. Today I barely noticed my social anixety at all and was able to meet new people and be comfortable being myself. Of course I have been doing alot of work on myself other than nofap but I belive no fap is starting to make a difference in my life for the better. I am excited to see what happens going forward. For anyone with social anxiety I recommend the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr Robert A. Glover. This book is amazing for anyone looking to become more of a man and become comfortable with who they are as a person
- I work out at the gym for 40 min + 10 min of sauna every day; super close to a six-pack. My testosterone has probably gone through the roof.
- I go to sleep at 9 pm and wake up at 5-6 am.
- I stick to a clean diet and take care of my health.
- I have an abundance of energy.
- I read a book every week.
- I excel at work.
- I socialize a lot.
- My shyness and social anxiety are gone.
- I am doing my best to control my finances and stay frugal.
- I am planning to launch a startup.
Nofap helped me me talk to people now..
I’m on day 37 of not jerking off and I used to be scared talking to people because, i got a bad lisp and people would make fun of me online. Well, I started to talk to random people online and I don’t care if people make fun of me and I met a new friend!! If I was still jerking off, I would be still depressed and scared to talk to people! Thank God for NoFap! I recommend people to join us!!
So what I noticed about my relapse yesterday is that all of my mental problems (which were absolutely minimal on nofap/ no-porn) are back full force after a heavy relapse yesterday. Interesting observation. Will go on another streak starting today! I may fall down, but I’ll never stop getting up.
Mental health has increased, but ironically, it has caused my porn habit to come back?
So, recently, I started working full-time at a job that I love, and it has been one of the greatest things to ever happen to me in my entire life. I push myself to work a lot of hours, and have certain goals to make a certain amount of money each week. I have almost no more anxiety and depression, but I’m a lot more stressed, if that makes sense.
I tend to get horny when I’m stressed out. Stress doesn’t actually turn me on at all, it’s just that it causes my libido to increase, in a very similar way that most people experience a drop in libido when they experience stress. So, high stress + low anxiety + low depression = MEGA libido increase.
Another thing that I have started doing is meditation. Again, it has been wonderful, but it has caused me to have more sexual and romantic thoughts about women. I think what’s going on is that it has caused a lot of my sexual inhibitions to be removed.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m happier than I’ve been than at almost any other point in my life – but this has caused my libido to come back in full force. I’ve gotten off to porn probably six or seven times in the past 24 hours.
I’m not sure what I’m hoping to gain by sharing this post. Maybe just to share my story? Or to see if anyone has experienced the same or similar? I appreciate any feedback. Thank you! 🙂
long term nofap hard mode effects
Social anxiety is gone completely and my introversion is gone. I am now very social and women seem to love me. They seem drawn to me and stay around finding it hard to stop talking with me even when they may be late to things. My voice is deeper and i get random erections constantly. I also get these at awkward times. Porn disgusts me now and i prefer real women to porn. It disgusts me because of what it does to the people involved in the industry. Thanks nofap for the support
Noticing major decrease in social anxiety
It’s really amazing to actually be aware of the difference after such a short amount of time..I don’t feel the need to look away from people and can look them in the eyes and have conversations…I am just in awe that constant fapping can cause these issues. This realization is a testament to keep going. Note: I am on a day between 12-18 if you don’t count edging, but I started to be strict with it so I reset my counter 6 days ago to go full nofap. edit: also am beginning the interview process for a new job I am after, something I just haven’t done but should have been doing…it seems like my energy and confidence are slowly coming back.
Benefits you feel 4 weeks in….!
Benefits I’ve Experienced:
1. Lots of Energy
2. Urges are way less than the first two-three weeks
3. Discipline to a whole new level
4. Low Social Anxiety
5. Overall you just feel great and feel mentally clearer and more focused
I’ve noticed I’ve became far more charismatic as well during my recovery. Last time when I went to school, one of the girls were looking at me and was commenting on how intelligent I was based on my test scores and how I looked like one of those college professors that looked way too young to be in college. When I heard that, I pulled out a funny impersonation of a college professor and it went something like this:
Me: Alright class. Today we’re going to be learning about the basics of Neurons, Dopamine, and Stimulus.
Random Girl: I don’t even know what any of this stuff means nervous laugh
Me: If you hush up, I can tell you.
Random Guy: Hey teacher. Why do we got to learn all this stuff?
Me: Because this is college and in college, we always teach you useless things that you will never use in day to day life.
Everyone started laughing when I said that and I felt so happy and at ease with everyone. This is by far one of my favorite benefits of NoFap. permalink
That’s something I’ve noticed as well, I’m much more calm and confident in my conversations and I don’t think like “oh man I must find something to talk about” like now conversations just come out so naturally and I’m loving it, whenever I’m almost relapsing I just remember the benefits and I think how priceless they are and how it’s way better than PMO. permalink
Porn turns me into a social retard and I hate it.
I’ve noticed that if I abstain for even a couple days I’m far more outgoing and conversational. But if I start my day PMOing, I totally shutdown. Can’t read social cues. Hate talking to people. Makes my day 100% worse.
Still struggling, though. I wish I could just throw my phone in the trash, but I’m too reliant on it.
FunkeyMonkey405 [link no longer available]
I’m the same way. I feel like this is a side effect of porn that isn’t talked about enough
Pretty much, and PIED
Same here
Always happen to me as well. Porn can be debilitating in many ways
This happens to me as well exactly as you described. its hateful 🙁
Absolutely agree with you. I feel like every aspect of my life suffers from pmo but especially socially. I think the shame of being addicted to porn makes me feel lesser than others and i tend to exclude myself from the social atmosphere.
So true
I feel the same bro, not this extreme but I can relate. I think this comes from the “secret” and guilt from watching porn and thats a big reason I want to quit
I know exactly what you mean and I have no idea why this is. Is there anyone who could explain why this happens?
Day 160 now i have a courage to approach girls
So today i was in the mall i saw a very beautiful girl and i decided to approached her i introduced myself and ask for her name (Diana) and her number unfortunately she told me she had a boyfriend but it didn’t hurt this is the first time I’m able to approach girls without getting nervous
Nofap has worked amazingly for me day160 i have more friends I’m more social more focused i have noticed people respect me more specifically female colleagues
Only negative thing about nofap for me is the wet dreams some time I’m having 2-3 in a week which is crazy
Nofap killed my depression, IN A WEEK!
I suffer from depression for many years, i was using weed cigarettes and alcohol, and i quit them all in order to improve my mood. And i was still depressed a f . I stopped fapping a week ago and my life has INSTANTLY improved. Just like that, without staying home all day watching tv and beating my meat. I went to school, got social again, and had a blast of a week! Totally willing to keep on going! Happy i found nofap!
Aspergers – Socializing better than ever, fetishes are fading
Anyone here got cured or at least have their social anxiety reduced from doing NoFap?
Big yes on this.
aNewlifeReborn
After 60 days I feel like all my anxiety is practically gone.
I have always had anxiety, even tried psychologists and medication and nothing seemed to help until I started nofap. Quite astounding that college educated doctors couldn’t figure out it was the porn binging.
It will get rid of your anxiety. Keep going and be patient
Yes and its one of the big reasons I do nofap
After 70days for me
The WORST thing you can do to your anxiety is fapping!
So in the last 2 Years I had a severe social anxiety disorder, when I talk to someone my face goes red, I lose my words and I get really nervous. 25 days ago, I gave NoFap a try and I stayed roughly for 3 weeks without Fapping or Edging, and during these 3 weeks I noticed that my social anxiety was fading out, but I wasn’t sure why.
Yesterday at 5:50PM.. I relapsed, but I didn’t notice anything different until today, when I went to my maths class that I used to be super confident and chill during it (at least in the past 2 weeks), instead of being chill, all my anxiety returned, I was super anxious!!
I immediately knew it was my relapse, fapping is the reason why all my anxiety got back and I’m 100% sure about it!!
So if you want to get rid of SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder), DON’T EVER NEVER think of about fapping.
I was told i’m the most social-able person in our class…
When I was at uni and going at it multiple times a day, i couldn’t even hold together a conversation. I had two close mates and i just couldn’t function in social gatherings at all.
I’ve recently graduated and started my ‘graduate scheme’ which is essentially my first career in my entire life and i’m loving it. Today someone told me that they saw me as the “most social-able person in our class”. It was the first time they had spoken to e unfortunately, but for him to say that made my day, and he didn’t even know it. I went from the social outcast, from the person who couldn’t together a conversation, to the person that someone perceived me as the most social individual in our graduate scheme. I honestly think that’s truly astonishing…
Nofap 35 days report – did i gain super powers?
I’m in nofap for more than 35 days (No sex, \, no porn) more than 35 days and Today I had sex with some hooker in Colombia (I’m a tourist here).
I don’t consider it to relapse because I had a normal sex.
Anyway, the benefits are:
Confidence – Increased confidence in social settings and in outdoor settings (like sitting on a place and eat without worries). I used to have OCD and worry all the time what people think on me. this is almost gone.
Energy- It comes and goes in some days but some days I have too much energy and even get euphoria a bit. also I become coky.
OCD – Almost gone. I used to think too much on this and now this gone.
Pornography seems to be a clear cause of some form of anxiety that I have
I started 2 years ago and ever since I’ve had issues speaking with people (especially females). I’ve always been careless and ratchet but ever since I started I experienced an overwhelming change. I’m also unable to get any of my work done and half of my free time goes toward fapping.
Any social anxiety success stories?
I have.
I used to be the kind of guy who stares at his shoes and speaks in muttered breaths, unable to hold eye contact, etc. These days I can spark up a conversation and take small talk in stride, even draw out a smile and a chuckle every once in a while with a pretty girl.
Only caveat is that this is after many months of practice, going through a series of deliberate choices every day until it became mostly second nature. Even then, if I don’t consciously gear up for it—I’ll slip and fall apart, particularly when I’m already stressed out.
Here’s what I did: – Practice objectivity. Sometimes the social anxiety comes from attaching a lot of expectations that once you take a step back are absurdly unrealistic. Saying hi to that pretty girl won’t get you laid on the spot; even if you were Henry Cavill. – Practice confidence. Make deliberate steps to have a more commanding posture, gait, voice, sense of dress, surroundings, shit you own, and mindset. Picture who you wanna be, then stand walk talk and think, etc like that future you. Eventually your brain struggles to tell the difference. For me it’s just becoming second nature, but soon it’ll be my default.
I’m not cured but I’m continuing to improve. It helps to get out of your comfort zone and talk to supportive people.
soad1799
Absolutely, yes. It was one of the many contributing factors to my severe social anxiety (which still lingers to a much smaller extent), and although nofap/pornfree isn’t some fix-all prescription, I absolutely notice positive benefits from nofap/noporn specifically in terms of social anxiety.
My brain must be strangely wired (and probably damaged from years of frequent porn use) as I still feel a bit “off” even fapping frequently without porn. I know this sub is very binary and preaches absolutism in terms of being pornfree, but I find that being very disciplined and getting in 1 wank (to my thoughts, or very vanilla porn/erotic nudes) every 7-10 days has little if any effect on my social anxiety and overall mental well-being. Once I get back to fapping daily my brain numbs out and the anxiety creeps back in quickly. I totally understand this addiction being either “on” the wagon or “off”, but that’s just my experience and it’s probably not the most ideal for anyone with a really deep seated addiction.
I’d also add that it especially alleviates social anxiety around women (as a guy here obviously). I really believe there’s some bro science in that when you aren’t tricking your brain into some sort of artificial pair bonding (amongst the many other psychological effects of porn), it ends up subconsciously allowing, or even forcing you into being more positive, calm, warm, assertive, and social around women. YMMV on all of this and my case might just be an anomaly, though I would probably disagree having read other people’s stories on here.
I’m on day 55 on my journey and im heading to complete 90 days hardmode to give my brain the chance to fully rewire , by far i can tell it really helps alot , i would say my anxiety around people decreased by 60% and i feel way more comfortable around people i don’t know , moreover my brain fog gone away and my mind is more clear than when i used to pmo , so for sure no fap is very useful to your mental health
I have significantly decreased my porn use. Im truly trying to stop, it proves difficult but possible. I have general anxiety with other forms of mental health problems. I live an absolutely normal wonderful life. When i was watching porn 1-2-3-4 times a day i was an absolute walking thought monster. I watched some weird shit and it bothered the fuck out of me! Sexuality issues, just overall incredible difficult facade to keep up. I have a good job i save my money i pursue goals and work on my positivity and mental health every day. At least i think so right now. The pit feels dark but you just start doing things differently and things absolutely change.
Yep. I am a lot more socially skilled, but also I see now I’ve let people get close to me that lots of people I admire get socially anxious for certain events too, this has helped me to relax and accept the anxiety at times as natural so I am less hard on myself. I have been seeing a counsellor though to help this and go to 12 step recovery group too. The group is great as we’re encouraged to make calls and talk about what is going on for us which helps me cope.
If you are a hard porn user aka look it a lot, I’d be very surprised if this didn’t change for the better if you could let porn go.
My Social Anxiety Has Been Exorcised!
Today I went to the same barbershop that I’ve been going to for more than a year while I PMO’d. Every time it would be an awkward mumble of how I want my hair and then he’ll cut my hair in complete silence because I just kept giving awkward answers that doesn’t lead the conversation anywhere, so it would just die and become quite until we were done.
Not today!
Today I walked in there and immediately started joking with the guy, discussing the different lengths that he should cut my hair to, the style, showing him photos etc. As we were chatting away it hit me like a brick wall – wtf was this?!
I wasn’t stressing, wasn’t feeling awkward and the conversation just kept flowing effortlessly. I am so damn happy right now, I feel like a ton of healing has already happened and I didn’t even know it! I love this sub, thanks for all the support gents!
Video – NoFap Benefits: The Benefits of Quitting Porn and Masturbation for 1 Year! (reduced depression and anxiety among other benefits)
Age 24 – Anxiety so bad I was sent to a school counsellor. Pretty much gone.
Nofap helped me shrug off much of the anxiety I experienced, so bad was it that a lecturer referred me to the school counsellor. But now the only indication I get [that] I’m staring at girls is that I find them staring back; previously I would never look at girls, or anyone, I would just wait to get home then fap it out (would you believe I’ve never had a girlfriend or had sex?). Now, I see a cute/hot girl/woman walking in the opposite direction to me and without even thinking about it maintain eye-contact all the way until she’s right next to me, It startled me the first few times this occurred and I would have to stop where I’m standing for a minute and think about what just happened. I feels pretty good now but I know pre-nofap me would dwell and obsess over something like this for days, not at all healthy. … Then, I unconsciously began to have what seemed like staring contests with every girl in sight, not checking out their bits and objectifying them but eye-to-eye. …
You know when you accidentally look at a really tough guy, I don’t mean a gym fool but guys who seem like they’ve gone through tough experiences, and you immediately falter and look away and pretend like it didn’t happen? Not that I intentionally seek out such people and try to stare at them, but after cold showers combined with nofap I will not falter and even get respect like a slight nod.
I’ve been fapping since I was about 13, I’m 20 now. But I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 16, and now it’s gone. Completely gone. The biggest thing now is I’m no longer “inside my head” worrying all day and night. It’s almost like I’m seeing the world for the first time. I was never good with girls, now all of a sudden I am. I was never confident, now I am. But the little things are even crazier. Now I get pleasure from looking at a sunset, or seeing beautiful piece of art. I have emotions now while before I was always numb. I would compare it to when I first got contacts for my eyes. When I put the contacts in for the first time I was blown away at the difference, because everything was so clear compared to what I had lived my whole life doing. It’s the same concept, but it’s like contacts for my emotions permalink
Hey there, 17 year-old guy from Germany here. So I’ve basically been clinically depressed for about 2 years now. It was treated with different types of therapies and later medication. None of which seemed to help or just helped for a short amount of time. I decided to go to another therapist since my first one didn’t help me at all. Yesterday I had my first session with him and I told him my story and how I feel. I was surprised when he asked me if I masturbate frequently. I did in fact never tell anyone that I do that shit at least 2 times a day since I was 12. He was well aware about porn-addiction and the depression it can cause. I’m “clean” for about 24 hours now and it’s not easy… I’ll definitely stick around just to stay motivated. 2 Months until school starts again. My first goal is to not masturbate until that and see how I feel. From what I’ve read so far I’m pretty positive.
Closing in on 90 days! It works guys!
Man these last 83 days have been a journey that I’m glad I started. In under 3 months my self-confidence self-esteem have grown exponentially. I’m way way more extroverted and did things I’d never do before I did nofap. I got my first ever girlfriend and honestly life could not be going smoother. For the last year and a half I struggled getting streaks over 20 days, but something finally clicked. The way I see it, you’ll never quit unless you are fully 100% committed. Even 99.99% isn’t good enough. Don’t give in to the urges, you’ll come out stronger and happier on the other side.
I have been suffering with moderate to serious depression since 7th grade. I would actually hear a voice in my head that told me I was dog shit, and I would get really down on myself for making mistakes. My depression has gotten really bad at times and mild thoughts of suicide crossed my mind once or twice.
I have been trying to remember back to the summer between 6th and 7th grade, to try and remember an event that led to my depression (my depression started around this time). It got to the point where I had no energy, even when I got a full night’s rest. I would often get teased; being called names like “emo kid” or “that sad kid.” I think I can finally say that porn has been the poison.
I remember the first device that I heavily watched porn on was my psp; which I just found out released March, 2005. This was exactly 7 years ago and about the time that I was entering 7th grade. I have fapped quite heavily since then, and recently have discovered that my taste in porn was beginning to change for the worse (I won’t go into detail).
I haven’t fapped for all of 5 days now (I know it’s not a lot), and I already feel happier, more energetic, and just all around better. This also explains why all my family vacations(not being able to fap), have been my happiest memories over the years.
I really see myself making it to day 90, because I haven’t felt this naturally pure in a while. I feel like my old goofy self again, and that is the most priceless blessing I could ever wish for. I finally feel as though I can progress with my life instead of being the kid ridiculed for being such a debby downer all the time. I feel so excited/relieved to finally have realized my problem, and to set out on the quest to be the best me possible. I’m still young (19), and have a lot to live for. I can’t wait to have sex with a real girl for the first time, which I can sense will be soon.
So one of the biggest things that changed for me was my confidence. I’m far more confident with how I carry myself around not just women, but all people. I feel like, since I’ve broken my fapping addiction, I have the willpower to do just about anything I put my mind to.
20+ days without porn. Social anxiety GONE!
I’m a fairly sociable good looking guy, but I always get really anxious before social events and meetings at work.
I used to PMO and fap at least twice daily to “evacuate stress”. At work, at home hiding from my GF, anywhere I got the chance… I believed I was being kinky, but now I realize I was just a creepy loner.
After being pr0n free for almost a month now, I realize that most of my social anxiety was coming from the stress of having to hide my dark secrets.
For me, less dark secrets = no shame = less stress = social anxiety gone!
I’m feeling like a new and improved version of me. More confident, better at speaking in public, easier to connect with.
Thanks noFap!
I don’t think society Knows what internet porn really does to a man!! all they really associate porn with is ED. Porn Turns a man into a scared Boy!! your socially awkward, Depressed , No motivation , Can’t focus , Very insecure , lose muscle tone , makes your voice weaker , Have absolutely Know control over your life. Men are going to the doctors Getting prescribed all kinda meds, when really it all comes down to porn and what it does to your brain and body 🙁 Ive been off porn one week and feel better than I felt in 20 years !!
I started to travel non-stop and I’ve been jerking off so much just to get it out of my system, I suffer from sever social anxiety and I would normally avoid any kind of social interaction especially with girls. I started my nofap journey 6 days ago and I am already seeing MAJOR progress! Girls are noticing me everywhere, I start conversations now and It’s just the beginning.
I would normally get depressed after going home alone leaving the club (I am heavy into partying) but I no longer give a fuck! Haha.
Hello r/pornfree! 45 day report (a little long winded) and first post here!
I still have a long way to go, but freeing yourselves from the chains of porn and instant gratification makes life worthing living again. I smile more, talk more, follow my interests, and take better care of myself. Music means something to me again, I like to dance more, and I just feel much better about everything. For once in my life, I have hope. A hope to make myself who I want to be and to help others become better too once I can provide the example.
As a man with genetic depression, being porn free has done more for me than any drugs I have ever had to take. It is as if this makes me more alert, attentive, and happier than Wellbutrin, Zoloft or the other drugs I was cycled through.
My advice – Don’t give up your journey to be porn free, and try to find something that means a lot to you – be it focusing on areas in your life you want to fix, helping others and friends with things they need help in, or just finding new things that excite you.
Well, here I am at 90 days for the first time ever. My previous record was 45 days. I have to say, to anyone just starting the challenge, or in the first week, or first month, or thinking of quitting, IT GETS EASIER.
Honestly, after a month (given, I have had decent streaks before) I had no urge whatsoever to fap. Sure, I felt and still feel a sexual energy but I know that its proper application is towards women.
Speaking of which, a lot of guys notice improvements in communication with women after a couple of weeks. While I didn’t notice any substantial improvements for a while, it really became obvious from days 60-90 (stick with it!) I found conversation more smooth, it was easier to maintain eye contact, and I picked up on more flirtatious signals.
Speaking of benefits, here’s what I’ve noticed so far: I’m happier. Much, much happier. I typically suffer from SAD and was diagnosed with minor clinical depression a few years back, but this autumn/winter (yes, it’s started already) I’m feeling great. I have more energy — I can’t attribute that fully to NoFap as I’ve also started eating healthier, taking vitamin supplements, and working out, but I’m sure NoFap is a major contributor to that one.
I didn’t manage to land a girlfriend yet, but there is one young lady I’ve had my eye on for a while, and I managed to effectively communicate my feelings for her without the awkward nervousness that’s plagued me in the past. She sort of implied that she was more not ready for a relationship than not interested in me, and I think it’s just a matter of time. I’m much, much more social now, especially with women, and find it much easier to start/carry conversations. As for the brain reprogramming bit, I think it’s working…
Just as the title says. It is so much easier, and I feel so happy. Things are working out so much better and I have become so outgoing. I’ve made more connections with people in general, and feel like I have a direction. Pretty crazy how nofap has given me the push I needed to make the changes I was looking for.
NoFap is the best cure to suicidal thoughts.
at least to me..
I have found out that I hardly ever look down anymore. When I fapped, I usually looked down at the ground when i walked down the street. But when i am doing NoFap I am always looking up ahead of me. It feels great. No more relapses, No more PMO. Time to free my mind.
Crippling anxiety has all but vanished
I am currently on day 29, this being the longest I’ve gone without porn/fapping since discovering it fourteen years ago at the age of 10 (it was a 1-8x a day habit during these years). After a bunch of <2 week resets I am finally moving forward.
For all of my life (as far as I can remember), I have had crippling social anxiety combined with zero confidence and zero sense of self worth. The anxiety I’ve always had has been terrible.. I have never been able to look people in the eye, have always felt intimidated by everyone, always felt disgusted and hateful towards myself and have NEVER been able to have a random discussion with a stranger.
Roughly two weeks ago… all this dissipated… and it’s been staying gone. I’ve been afraid to post about it because I was expecting it to come back full force after showing me greener pastures.. but it’s staying gone.
These last two weeks have been unlike any I have ever experienced. I find myself craving the company of other people (something I’ve never felt before), and when I am in public I have been able to open up on random strangers without any issues. I’ve been having great small short conversations everywhere I go and the best part is… zero anxiety. I have no problems with eye contact anymore, I don’t stutter, I speak my mind and don’t care about what others think. In fact… I can even watch other people do awkward things (which would in turn make me feel super awkward about myself) with no issue… it’s un fucking believable.
I’ve been walking around with a smile on my face and a positive mood all day every day and I’ll tell you.. people are noticing. I’m getting approached by girls all the time looking to start a conversation just for the sake of talking with me… this is unheard of for me.
Looking back my old mannerisms seem laughable.. who was that person? I don’t know but I do know this- I am never going back.
GUY 2)
Great stuff, I’m really happy for you. I have suffered from mild social anxiety in the past and although I made some improvements even before stopping to fap, now basically 2 months off( with a couple of resets), the anxiety has really almost gone away. I don’t have a clue about the reasons why nofap helps with social anxiety, but I believe that not having to experience this disgusting feeling after you have just had an orgasm to some nasty porn material really helps to correct your self-image.
NoFap is one of the best things I’ve ever found.
I’ve been having problems with ED over the past year or so and after my girlfriend linked me here and I watched the TED Talks on it I have to say that I’m already feeling a million times better. My problem was really hurting our relationship and after moving in together part of me was terrified it would be the reason we wouldn’t work out but now I have more confidence and have barely had any issues since quitting!
Day thirteen. I feel very focused and can concentrate better than usual. I keep eye contact when talking to people. My voice is deeper and sounds less “bothered” or “troubled” and more clear. I feel more confident socialising and more relaxed and happy doing it. It’s pretty funny that I’ve never in my grown-up life been at this state. It’s definitely not worth leaving this [mindset] for masturbation to porn.
OCD sufferer clean for a month
Hey, I’m an obsessive-compulsive disorder sufferer, mostly relationship centered. It’s hard to cope with it without porn, but with porn it’s even harder. I’ve had some failed attempts to stop watching porn but I succeed finally and I’m clean for about month. I’m with my girlfriend for 3 years and I’ve never felt bigger sexual arousal between us than now since I’m not watching porn. My OCD symptoms are much better without porn as well. Porn is evil and I don’t wanna go back to it.
Sorry for my English, I’m not native, just Netflix learning now :D. Have a good day.
Got my 90 days easily yesterday. List of benefits and my plan for future.
- Less social anxiety (look girls in the eye, etc.) (I think everybody can relate to this)
- More power, especially more will power. and the more you get of it the more it will grow. it’s true it’s like a muscle you can train
- Girls look different. no objectification anymore. you look for more natural girls. her face, her smile, her eyes. even when you look at her legs you think like: “these legs are really beautiful”. they hit you, you get aroused by just looking at them, but in a positive way. in way it should and meant to be.
- Stabilized self esteem, self confidence, better thinking, no train of thoughts (foggy style)
- You can actually FEEL the rewiring in your brain. When I get aroused I have a strong feeling of dopamine and things jumping around in my brain
- Better concentration. my rule was “don’t start what you can’t finish” but I couldn’t stick to that alltime. so I got some projects lying around over time (private and business things) I can start with again and finish them finally because I got the will power now
Age 16. Coming into this challenge, I was a total skeptic. Not only that, but I was a lonely skeptic. As I reached 30 days, I experienced all the usual stuff: increased confidence, incredible conversational skills, and the ability to find pleasure in the simple things in life. Never really had a problem with any of those things before, but there was definitely a noticeable difference.
During the past month or so, an amazing female entered my life. Had I been my post NoFap self, I really doubt I would have even had the courage/motivation to pursue her. Instead, I manned up, began to talk to her quite a bit, and started hanging out with her. We’ve had some really great times in the past month or so, and yesterday, I finally decided it was time to put my claim on her and make her my girlfriend.
It’s hard to put in to words how big of an accomplishment this is for me. I’ve never actually really cared about a girl I’ve been with until now. Still haven’t found out if my delayed ejaculation is cured yet as I’m taking this relationship slower than my last relationships. Sex in the first week or so is usually a recipe for disaster in a relationship. Hopefully, this relationship will be much more successful than anything I’ve had previous. If I keep seeing these benefits, I may never fap again!
Why NoFap is the greatest change to my life thus far.
Social interaction. I was completely afraid of it and incapable of it 50 days ago. In the past week or so, I have interacted incredibly smoothly and effortlessly with people with whom I would have been unable to interact with in the past. I used to be unable to look people in the eyes. I used to purposefully hide from people I knew in public so as to avoid awkward conversation. I used to not be able to be invested in the conversation. Women, even those I knew personally, would intimidate me. I would fantasize throughout the day about being able to interact like a normal human… All of this is now changing before my eyes in a most drastic way. I can interact with confidence; be myself. I can hold an unbreakable gaze into other people’s eyes. I am actually part of the conversation, as opposed to being aloof thinking about leaving it.
I am ecstatic I am about this continuing improvement. Social interaction has been the single most problematic area of my entire life thus far, and I am finally making visible improvements. Thank you so much, NoFap. I can’t tell you how much this means to me. It’s honestly like some sort of miracle.
This weekend I had the confidence to be my true self with girls I met. My true self has a fucked up sense of humor, so at a party which I attended I ended up telling a girl I roofied her and she would be “passing out within an hour or so.” Normally I’d be afraid to make such jokes. But fuck it, this humour is the real me and I’m really working on not caring what people think. Anyway, she thought I was hilarious and I ended up talking to her for a while and getting her number. We’re meeting up for lunch tomorrow. I’m finally gaining the ability to be my true self, and I know it will improve my social life greatly.
Before I started NoFap, I was a video game addict with no confidence and more than one bad habit. I rubbed one out daily and sometimes even more frequently than that. Now, after sixty days of complete abstinence, I’ve overcome my addictions. I haven’t played video games in over a month; that’s a massive achievement for me! I used to come home every day and sit on my ass for five plus hours at a time.
- I now have a girlfriend, and she is the most amazing girl I have ever dated. She’s beautiful, interesting and smarter than me. It’s a fantastic story, if you’re interested.
- School is a pleasant challenge for me now, as opposed to the nightmarish madness I used to think of it as.
- I don’t take shit from anyone anymore. Self confidence = ON
TL;DR: Quitting fapping + quitting video games = Girlfriend + “Holy shit, there’s an easy mode?!”
Stopped watching porn and stopped masturbating, 100%. The most noticeable outcome was after about 1-1.5 weeks that I was more sociable with females than I had ever been in my life. I began taking immediate action and every opportunity that presented itself to interact and have sex with said females.
While that might not seem like much to some people, I have always been highly reclusive and relatively uninterested in pursuing anything socially, let alone with the opposite sex.
About 5 weeks in I stopped drinking alcohol/using drugs completely, while I don’t know if I can attribute that entirely to the no fap, it definitely played a big part. As time went on things just started to snowball and just about every aspect of my life has changed and here I am ~6 months later wondering how the fuck I arrived here.
Then I pop onto QGL tonight and it seems like the movement has found its way here. LINK TO THREAD
I haven’t fapped for 26 days and stopped looking at porn a week ago and it changed my life OP. less anxiety, more energy, easier to talk to womenz, etc. LINK
A am so much more social now. Hanging out with friends almost every day, playing music, talking about fun stuff, learning about new people. People are asking me to hang out, before it was the other way around. I have to turn people down now because there’s too much going on. It’s a little overwhelming, but nice too. I feel popular. I feel positive exchanges flying around all over. What a nice thing.
Dear brothers, may be I am unable to list you a lot of benefits of No Fap but I certainly do see a significant reduction in anxiety that was killing me…I have a lot more clearer mind than before…this is definitely not a pseudoscience bros…stay strong and continue to be a winner!
90 days of NoFap and the tenets of self-control
This is when I noticed something pretty remarkable… my social anxiety didn’t really exist anymore. Or rather, it was still there, but manageable to a degree that it was almost negligible. I started to notice how other people reacted to me, and I reacted to their reactions. In short, I felt like I was dominating most of the conversations I was in, even though I barely talked.
What I mean by that is, you don’t have to be loud and alpha in order to dominate people’s attention. There are so many subtle ways you affect people’s behavior than that, the key component I’ve discovered in myself is to simply be receptive. If you build a large inner confidence, people simply pick up on it, respect it, and are largely affected by it. People will change their mannerisms and the way they talk to you and what they talk about largely on how they perceive how you respond to them.
This might be common knowledge to most people, but this was a very enlightening experience to me, as it allowed me to actually make meaningful connections with people, for once in my life, my social interactions were actually intellectually stimulating to me, I didn’t feel like I was boxed in a corner every time I was in a social setting. Even more than all that, you really start to get a good feel for how insecure and anxious other people are once you notice these behaviors, and your own insecurities don’t seem to matter as much once your innate empathy kicks in.
I quit masturbating on Feb 1st 2012, my goal was to go 1 month, I have now almost gone 3 months.
Before I had anxiety, depression, always lazy, it was a struggle to get out and face the day. Avoided a lot of social situations unless I was drunk. Then I found this thread. http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth…&highlight=fap
I have tons of energy, when I look in the mirror i feel like my skin has a glow to it. I joined a gym and started lifting weights, my lifts have been progressing like crazy. I run at least 1 mile a day right when I wake up. Social situations are a breeze. When walking around in public I feel so powerful, I feel like I can talk to anyone and do anything at anytime. I have noticed girls checking me out.
And my sexual performance is crazy now.
I was a pretty big porn/jerk off fanatic for years before this, probably 8-9 years of daily porn viewing and masturbating at least once per day. It was hard to kick the habit, but i suggest it to anyone.
I am far from some right wing conservative religious freak. But porn and masterbation in this day and age is very very bad for you.
cliffs: I viewed porn/ fap’d daily (just like every other dude on here) for 8-9 years.
I quit cold turkey
Been 3 months.
Feel like I can take over the world.
Finally solved my anxiety problem.
LINK TO THREAD
90 Days (First Reddit Post, Be Gentle)
So 90 days ago today on the 7th of June I stopped PMOing, and I’m fantastically happy with the outcome. I’m healthier, more responsible, more present, and most of all happier. Here’s roughly how my experience went: The first few weeks were incredible, all of the hype I’ve read here has been up to snuff, it was truly awesome, I was having more intense dreams, I had energy to do everything, and nothing could hold me back. Then I flatlined, and it hit me like a truck. It was about a month of blah, mostly having difficulty falling asleep, because I had no idea what to do with myself before bed. After that, I’ve been on a steady incline in quality of life about for the last month and a half, and it really has been an incredible journey.
As for anyone who’s naysaying the effects of nofap, I’ve got to tell you that you’ve got to try it to believe it. Yes, everyone is going to have a different experience, but good things do happen. I’m sitting down and doing things I need to do so they’re out of the way, my girlfriend will every once in a while tell me that “somehow [I’m] more attractive,” and most of all I’m happy (which is incredible coming from six years of on and off depression).
I can honestly say that nofap has been one of the best things to ever happen to me.
I totally notice I’m way more extroverted the longer I get away from PMO.
I just want to say that it is absolutely worth it. I’ve had ups and downs, but overall it has improved my sexual, and relational life significantly. For the first time in my 21 years I am in a relationship, and I believe that fapping and porn has kept me from healthy relationships. I am much more confident and comfortable with myself.
No longer self conscious about penis size
My wiener size is pretty average/not big and I’ve always been shy in the gym showers etc. When I was much younger it bothered me to the point of not wanting to go to school on gym days.
Now I do sports with friends and shower afterwards, and totally accept it. My thought pattern has gone from “they are gonna laugh at my small dick” to “penis size is not a hindrance to a good life” or “fuck it, I’m taking this for all my small dicked brothers”. A long step away from victimhood!
Not watching creepy sex empty of love with huge dicked freaks, I believe is beneficial to acceptance of our bodies. And it’s not like no one here are self conscious about their dick size, so this could be a reason for you to get with NOFAP.
Stopped fapping, I no more feel horny. Good or bad?
I started fapping early, maybe when I was around 13. At that time, it was something new and fascinating. During college, it was something to take away the boredom of my life. The more I studied, the more I fapped, and then I studied more. A vicious circle.
Coming back to this day, when I joined noFap, I thought that it would be too difficult to control my emotions and my libido since I’ve been fapping for so long. But I was wrong. Ever since I stopped fapping, there’s been some changes in me, but those are totally unpredictable from what I read here. I’ve started going out often and socializing more (this one’s predictable) but now throughout the day I don’t have any horny thoughts. Also, today I noticed, that instead of looking at girls’ tits and asses, I now look at their face. This isn’t something I did when I was fapping, I was more horny then and looked at a girl’s assets no matter what.
PS: Just so people don’t say that I’m dissing this community, I’ve like to add that I’ve become a lot more chatty and have grown an extrovert gene. I go out a lot more now and I enjoy meeting new people. I’ve joined a gym and plan to try new activities just so that I can, again, meet new people. These are the positive changes that I feel I’ve had, but not feeling horny is kinda new and strange to me.
My Story ,32yr old had enough of PMO ruling my life
I am Married 8 years, am 32 years old been fapping to visual sexual stimuli (sexy women) since i first discovered porn at age approx 9 (I think….I remember doing it well before i was producing the stuff needed to make babies !!) and have been PMO ‘ing ever since and got hell of a lot worse when high speed Internet came along , Ive struggled in my life at various intensities and times of depression, in-confidence (not sure if a word), lethargy, procrastination and really bad social anxiety (this is prob the most painful one)I’ll leave things there as a background … this time round i am 31 days into my recovery i binged on day 25 and had 2 relatively short relapses yesterday and today. I’ll have to say once i don’t have crippling withdrawal (usually lasts first 10 days into my past recoveries) I am WAY Happier, WAY more confident and hugely less socially anxious in ways that are phenomenal …..
All i know is the results are incredible once i go for a length of time keeping my hand off my Dick and not looking at porn or a porn substitute (sexy stuff on TV also drives me nuts which i hope will change once rebooted properly) …the most impressive is the feeling of being happy for no reason (never had this in the past) and a LACK of social anxiety and brain Fog (always had social anxiety even with my own family !!! wtf … and i never knew any different because its how i have always felt……
I’m happy to say that I’ve been PMO-free for 16 days now and haven’t felt this alive in ages! Suddenly the world has its colour back. I can laugh again (All of last year I had only a handful of genuine laughs). The social anxiety has almost completely gone, and I feel I can follow conversations better. Sounds strange but I had lost the ability to really understand what the hell people were going on about for so long. Most importantly my libido is back. In these past 2 weeks I’ve been talking with a lot of girls and I seem to have manufactured a couple “opportunities.”
NoFap did not give ME these “powers”; NoFap simply allowed me to get them back. An analogy is a dark cave. Spread around are my confidence, energy, motivation, mental health. It’s pitch black and if I’m walking around I may bump into these things from time to time, which explains why I was a functioning porn/masturbation addict but NoFap gave me a flashlight. Now I have complete access to them at will. NoFap is a tool. You have the hammer but those nails aren’t going to put themselves in.
All of my anxiety is gone. Brainfog is gone. Motivation is sky-high and still rising. Confidence is all the way up. My energy is back to when I was like a little kid. Depression is no more.
Best of all, I actually CRAVE and DESIRE women and am driven crazy by every little thing about them. I can talk a girl up for hours and I can pick up on signals I never could have before, the smallest things.
Needless to say I am a point in my life I never thought I would be at in my teen years. I actually enjoy things now; I used to hate movies for some reason, just couldn’t sit through them I found most of them so boring. Now I can enjoy the little things in life and enjoy them all with people I like being around. I am steadily moving up in my career and honestly, everything is just great. 200+ Days [Long Time Lurker, My Experience, Thoughts, Misconceptions]
I started cutting down my porn consumption and masturbation five months ago. I slipped and moved on, slipped again, felt frustrated and binged, and so on. But I made progress. My brain was experiencing new things. After going for about two weeks without porn or masturbation I felt great changes. I felt comfortable socially. I spoke firmly, confidently and calmly. I laughed and smiled with my whole face. I grew charming and could flirt. The feeling of lacking sex appeal was gone, and I even noticed better response and reactions from the people around me. I had better connections with my friends, family, co-workers and, of course, girls. I finally know how it feels to have a balanced brain.
It’s Day 28 and I’m feeling more confident than I’ve ever been.
Okay guys, I’ve been a longtime lurker, but I just had to share my progress. Anyways when I first started, I just did it because I thought I had self control… Boy was I wrong. But after analyzing throughout my whole high school life, I’ve always fapped. Maybe that’s why I’ve always was never confident and when I looked at some random hottie I would just feel this guilt but I never understood it…until just last week. I’ve started to realize all these random girls just looked at me and I actually made eye contact without shame! And just this past Friday this girl was flirting with me and she just caught me off guard and grabbed my hand, but I didn’t make a move…stupid me. But I will def go after her thanks to this community for opening my eyes and realize that NO FAP IS THE WAY TO GO!!
Before quitting porn, I just wanted to be home alone. Last night I experimented with going out alone—and had an absolute blast meeting new people and having conversations and kidding around. It appeared that it was much easier for me to just lose myself in the conversation and have fun, and not be so “in my head” like before. I am very used to isolation, but now my body and mind are saying more and more “Get out, get out! Be around people, talk to people. We’re social creatures; you need social contact. Go out and have fun! Be social.”
My brain and thought processes have, over the past year, gone through lots of different stages as I have shifted away from porn and masturbation as my primary source of pleasure. I experience much more pleasant and lucid social experiences and clarity of thought. The growth chart is not linear. It consists of peaks and valleys, but if you zoom out, it does go up. As I sit here, six days without masturbating and after a phenomenal day with a friend, I’m inspired to write this post, to both reaffirm to myself that this is soooo worthwhile, and also to give others a boost.
So, as the title says.. Initially when I started I felt superhuman.. Then I relapsed.. And then began a long chain of starting and relapsing on and off, on and off. Eventually when I would get 4-5 days in, I didn’t notice superhuman benefits anymore, and I would end up relapsing.. and I no longer had the crippling social anxiety the day after a relapse.. So I began to think this stuff was placebo, and that masturbation/porn wasn’t so bad as I thought.. and that the reason I got such a huge benefit at first was because I simply believed in it..
I WAS WRONG. This is NOT placebo. I’m on day 5 now, and I noticed that my alpha characteristics are popping out like CRAZY lately. My posture is awesome, my eye contact is great, I’m talking more, more chicks are checking me out, etc. This shit is NOT placebo. It definitely makes you more dominant/masculine. I guess I just wasn’t paying enough attention to my personality/actions the last couple of times that I go on board with nofap again.
DO THIS, and STICK TO IT. If you keep starting and relapsing, your brain kinda adjusts to that pattern, and so you’ll stop noticing really big benefits in the first week or so like most people did when they first started. Stop relapsing, go out there, grow dopamine receptors, be fucking awesome.
REPLY:
I noticed that after some small streaks or a relapse my addicted brain would start to tell me how this whole recovery business was stupid and I should just go back to PMO. I do my very best not to listen to my brain right now.
Months back when first starting this recovery I began to notice the drastic changes in my behavior with socializing, eye contact, posture, speaking to girls (not trying to flirt since I am in a committed relationship, but just being able to talk), etc. I had more confidence and felt better about myself. I didn’t carry around as much guilt or shame and knew I was doing something good for my body and my health.
After a recent relapse I went through the typical depression and self-hatred, then pulled myself out of it. I remember going out for some errands and to my surprise I still kept up the eye contact, said hello to strangers, engaged in conversations and was an overall friendly and social person. When I got home, my addicted brain told me that clearly even using PMO I could still have all these benefits, but I didn’t listen to that crap. I realized that even after a relapse, the benefits of this recovery do not simply wash away. I have learned the person I want to be and can be. It’s getting easier to move forward even after the occasional slip. Recovery isn’t linear for me, it’s a spiral that slowly moves upward.
I told my mother about YBOP and my porn addiction a few weeks ago after a bad relapse. I needed to hear my own voice say the things that my mind had felt and known for a long time. At first, her reaction was “are you kidding?, pornography is perfectly fine!”. I told her I would not talk to her about it until she saw the TedX video. After she saw it…she understood. She was able to put the pieces together, to understand just how much of a drastic change this was in my life. And then she told me that I was awesome for doing something like this…and that I was on the right path.Then we proceed to talk about it some more for about an hour. I told her about ED, HOCD, how I escalated to the most extreme types of porn…what it was doing to my mental health…etc. I told her of the amazing benefits of nofap / noporn. How I had cured my social anxiety, how I did not have panic attacks anymore, how I felt more confident, and had plenty of energy / willpower to really go out there and take life by the horns.It was a pretty awesome experience, I think. She still doesn’t understand the struggle, that this is an addiction. But the fact that she is supportive is all that matters to me.
I used to have social anxiety, and I would get so nervous when I interact with people. I’m not the kind of person who starts conversations, and when I do, I feel very nervous when talking with someone. This nerves get worse when I am talking in a group during discussions.
However, my social anxiety is somewhat “cured”, but I’m not sure if it is due to NoFap, or I have good moods on most days now that I don’t PMO. I feel like I am more in sync with other people, and when I start conversations, it would come naturally. No more anxiousness or nervousness like 1 month ago.
Also, I notice people smiling at me more, and I am sure it is because I’m in a good mood and I am smiling more at other people. I really do not want to go back to porn, because for some reason, watching porn ruins my mood as I have a constant feeling of guilt coming from somewhere.
Coming out of an addiction is a journey, and even if I hit 90 days of NoFap, I am still continuing on because undoing the damage done by my addiction is an ongoing process, and I must never let my guard down because temptations are just round the corner, and a relapse is inevitable should I let my guard down.
I am at an age where I need to start investing in myself, and find out my identity through personal growth, and I believe NoFap is a great place to start.
Currently 67 days away from porn—my best ever. Decided to masturbate only once every week. I am getting more confident around women, which is a huge plus!! In the past month, I’ve kissed 4 women. Never done that before. So yeah, things are good.
Giving up porn can really help. I went shopping today and felt incredibly calm compared to how I usually feel and I’ve only been porn free a little over three weeks. Of course, this could largely be a one-off and I’ve got an awful lot of work to do but it seems this reduced level should be far more manageable compared to how I felt in the past.
28 days later – feeling so confident
Hi, I started no fap 28 days ago, on day 21 I got my first wet dream in my life. Now on day 28 my attitude is not giving a fuck, thank to that I can talk to girls, chat with them, smile whenever I want ( my anxiety almost gone). I had a few depression days, and still want to fap, but fuck it, I’m gonna go for 90 days- this worth it…
I actually wanted to talk about the micro processes that go on, as I’ve been observing them closely over the past 8 weeks. By understanding the micro processes, it becomes possible to see clearly why quitting PMO so frequently leads to better results with women.The biggest difference that quitting PMO makes is that it gives you incentive to be brave. If you are whacking it every day to porn, and a real woman barely registers with you, why on earth would you even make the effort to go and talk to her? What do you have to gain? Nothing. What do you have to lose? The possibility of rejection, of humiliation, maybe even hostility and anger from her.
But imagine that you saw a woman that you liked, and I offered you $1,000,000 to go and talk to her – say anything, it doesn’t matter what. If you really believed I would pay up, you would find the courage to talk to her, even if you thought she might laugh at you. What’s changed? She’s going to respond exactly the same way she would have done without my $1m offer – it’s just that now you have an incentive.
Being horny and knowing that women are the only source of release gives you that incentive. It’s not pretty. It’s not easy. But it’s real life, real life that we’ve all been dodging for years by whacking it instead of getting frustrated. Welcome back to real life.In some sense, giving up PMO creates a stick that beats you up the hill of learning how to meet women and getting out there and doing it. It’s painful at first, that’s for sure, but the pleasure that comes after vastly outweighs the pain. It’s another challenge beyond giving up PMO, but I guess that’s just part of the price we have to pay for having made a wrong turn.
The right road comes around sooner than you expect.It also has an effect on women. Women respond to a strong sexual spirit [“mojo”]. My sexual spirit never even got up off the floor when I was whacking it every day. Now it’s all I can do to keep up with it.
36 days in – Enjoying things again
I have been struggling with anhedonia (Can’t feel joy for anything) for the last two years. I have almost tried everything, for example: omega 3, choline, magnesium, exercise. Nothing have worked against the anhedonia.
I’m just 36 days in but I’m seeing a lot of progress already. Yesterday I watched a clip of my favorite comedian and for the first time in two years+ I laughed so hard from watching him on youtube, before nofap I did not find his jokes funny (over the two years of anhedonia). For me, this is a hugh progress and I’m optimistic about seeing more benefits.
The first 20-25 days were really hard and I experienced a lot of flatline symptoms, like depression, very low motivation etc. With the benefits I have experienced, I’m going to go through the flatline phases.
If anyone experience anhedonia, I can really recommend to try NoFap for atleast 90 days and see if you see any progress.
A trip to the local takeaway reminded me why I need to stick with nofap
Went for some Singapore noodles earlier on at a takeaway place near me. Got chatting to the girl behind the counter and made her laugh with ease. Small talked with ease. Currently 7 days into nofap. If I had of went to the same place last week on the back of jerking it to porn, I would have ordered my food, sat down stared at my phone and not said a word to her because of awkwardness and lack of enthusiasm.
I need to stick with this. Not having desire to talk to people is completely fucking abnormal. Having a conversation without much anxiety is much more rewarding than jerking it to porn and spending the rest of your day/week as a withering anti-social mess.
I was diagnosed with bipolar circa 10 years ago. The diagnosis actually was really strange as the doctor couldn’t agree on what my real problem was so he suggested several problems giving bipolar the biggest chance.
At that time I was a chronic masturbator and a heavy porn addict and did other light drugs as well. I almost lost it when decided to leave my life behind and do some charity work and travel a lot. In this process, I quit everything and my problems were gone.
Then things hit the fan again and I started to masturbate and watch porn again. At that time I wasn’t aware that PMO was the main issue because you know what they say… I had to have this miserable cycle 3 times in my life (and find NoFap – of course) to finally realize what was the problem that caused my anxiety and depression. So, in my case porn was the major contributor and if I would go to the doctor today he would not find anything wrong with me.
This is my story and might be yours as well. I couldn’t go longer for 7 days nearly for 6 months, but manned up and had some success with it. I might be wrong, but maybe porn causing your Bipo so I would definitely try harder with it. I know it is very hard when you are such in this stage, but just try to go somewhere else and change your life a bit. Trust me, it makes wonders. permalink
Hey guys I am a 21 year old male, and I feel like I’ve gone from a person with extreme social anxiety to someone who is feels relatively normal, and no longer listen to my self defeating thoughts. I went from someone who used to get nervous walking to classes, and feeling like people where looking at me while I was driving, and would get nervous when professors would call role, to someone who has an active social life and even got a really hot girlfriend. I did 2 things that really helped me make changes in my life. They are really simple tips but by no means easy.
Like most males who have social anxiety and didn’t really have the confidence to approach girls and go on dates and such, I turned to porn. I used to watch it almost everyday and would masturbate almost everyday. I felt this kept me in a cycle of being a loner. I quit porn and masturbation cold turkey. I started feeling normal with more confidence and more drive to do things. (learning the guitar, working out, studying for classes, in the process of starting a business) You just feel like more of a man. I look people in the eyes, keep my head up and have better posture. I even feels it helps me be better in social situations. I feel like going out and being social after a while of abstaining.
Here is some info on how porn affects your brain and could make social anxiety worse: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ask-ushttp://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/
http://themodernsavage.com/2009/02/0…racting-women/
The second thing that really helped me was reading “Stop Saying Your Fine” by Mel Robbins. The book talks about how peoples emotions and thoughts are screwing them. It basically says take a goal you want to accomplish; decide what steps you have to take in order to accomplish that goal, and do it no matter how you feel. I decided to have a better social life, so I joined university clubs when I didn’t feel like it. I joined some academic clubs for my major when I didn’t feel like it. I would start conversations with people in my classes when I didn’t feel like it. I would go to parties that I knew about when I didn’t feel like it. I would go to bars and clubs with people when they invited me when I didn’t feel like it. I would ask girls on dates when I was really nervous about it.
With all these things I had to face my social anxiety face to face and it was really hard. I would get really nervous sometimes and it would show, but eventually I got a really great group of friends. I finally am always doing something with people from Thursday to Sunday. Know a lot of the parties going on at university and have even thrown some parties at my apartment which have been pretty awesome. I even got a really hot girlfriend.
The greatest advice of the book is that voice you here in your head when you start getting anxious telling you your looking stupid, and that everyone nobody really likes you, that isn’t god talking! I look at that as the enemy. Anytime I get into trying to mind read what people are thinking or guessing that people think negatively about me I tell my brain to stfu, and focus on other things.
Here’s a video of Mel Robbins giving a speech: http://youtu.be/Lp7E973zozc
From Reddit – Day 58 – I feel like I’m done with porn
So much has changed and now it already feels like porn isn’t even an issue for me anymore. I have been a 23yo dude who never had a girlfriend and had a porn addiction for like 8 years. A few weeks after starting the challenge I finally started to hit on girls and found my girlfriend short after. It felt incredibly difficult and complicated to find a girlfriend for years and now that I have one it feels so normal. It feels like I never had a problem with porn and have never been socially awkward towards women… But I definitely was for at least 14 years. I can’t believe how fast my main problem in life just disappeared like it has never been there…
There are still other things in my life I need to change. Now I can focus on other things and move on. I really gotta thank the guy who showed me this subreddit. Anyway even though I feel like I already finished the challenge, it’s still running and I will keep reporting.
I’m finding I experience depression and feelings of worthlessness FAR less often. I find I’m able to get up more easily in the morning and find the motivation to do the fricken dishes more often before going to bed.
Whats wrong with masturbating without porn?
For me it’s all about keeping my dopamine levels more stable. that means no porn AND no masturbation. everytime i masturbate and orgasm, that releases a huge amount of dopamine and it increases my cravings for all other activities that give me a dopamine fix. things like weed and sugar. everytime I’ve had a streak, then masturbated without porn i have felt irritable the next day and have noticed a loss in my energy and motivation.
the increased energy and drive i have to accomplish, and my more stable and optimistic mood are what i like best about the nofap challenge. when i don’t pmo, i feed into other addictions less, i feel more on track with what i actually want to be doing with my life, and i just feel fantastic in general. far better than when I’m stoned all the time or fapping.
i’ve also noticed a decrease in my social anxiety. new people i meet tell me they like my confidence and they think I’m a good speaker, compliments i would’ve never expected to hear just a few months ago.
From Bodybuilding.com – No-Fap has changed my life so much that it is too much to handle. (Serious)
Serious thread. This seems like bullshit but I’m not lying. Was beta, depressed, had anxiety before. Almost three weeks in, no fap no porn. So much change that I can not adjust.
I don’t know if my body smells like straight testosterone, but something is going on. My mind is blown at the increased attention I am getting from women. Girls that I have known, and complete strangers. I understand girls that I know showing more interest, considering that I am much more social and flirtatious, but complete strangers are hitting on me hard as fuk.
Girls literally fighting over me. Not combat, but “drama” type.
Get way too much attention at bars and clubs. I feel overwhelmed but it does not show, they just keep coming. Girls keep giving me their numbers and actually asking me to fuk them, I don;t even know what to do. Get eye fuked all day. I have so many options that it’s overwhelming.
I have almost no anxiety so I flirt with every girl no matter what. It takes a lot more alcohol to have any effect on me. Had to but new polo’s because of the gains. (Strength, and size increase from my new appetite)
Other things I noticed:
- Way more animated, facial expression and body language.
- A lot wittier, quicker to respond, socialize a lot better.
- More energy, better mood, better vision.
These are all positives, but it came all at once and just piled on and completely took me out of my element. I’m going to keep it up and try to adjust, but it all feels weird.
Edit: Yes this is all true. The “problem” is that all these changes occurred at the same time and I got myself in deep with a lot of girls, with little experience behind me. I feel fine, really good actually, but there I feel a lot of pressure. It’s just a strange feeling.
I’m not saying girls are just walking up to me, giving me their number, or raping me. But I am getting texts from female co-workers asking me to fuk them. srs. At bars girls introduce themselves, ask my friends to introduce me. Customers at work leave me their numbers, flirt in a very straight forward manner. It is a noticeable change from before. Placebo or not, it works.
Anybody interested in reading my 45 day update?
The past two weeks have been interesting. It’s great! Nofap is hands down the greatest motivation and social anxiety reducer out there. To give you an example, I caught the eye of a friendly girl in Dunkin’ Donuts the other day and I feel compelled to talk to her or ask for her number. I could care less about embarrassing myself. Confidence is king!
I never really knew or accepted that I was very self conscious. I hated answering the phone or going shopping.
I did those things anyway but I always just wanted to get it over with.
Day 32 and I just called a bunch of people I didn’t know without any hesitation. I talked smoothly and confidently and I didn’t find myself searching for the right words they just came.
My voice is so much deeper as well!
A guy with severe SOCIAL ANXIETY holds a PRESENTATION. Reaction? -“Were you nervous at all??!”
After my presentation people came to me and asked me: “How do you do this??”. “How do you manage to keep calm like this??” I’m SHOCKED. People are asking ME??! O_O I guess that’s Nofap =D
LINK –So today is day 90.
My life has quite literally changed since day 1. To start, I had a girlfriend, my first ever. It was the time of my life, and this couldn’t have happened without nofap. However, she dumped me (because of nothing I did, she just wasn’t ready for a relationship), and then I went on to get a date for prom (again, another first) within literally 2 weeks of her dumping me, and again, I have to relate this to nofap.
Things that I’ve noticed have changed:
- I am a LOT more social,
- Can talk to women A LOT LOT LOT easier,
- Tons of confidence,
- I feel like I can control my body,
- I feel like I can also talk to anybody easier in general,
- Look women in the eyes,
- Less objectification of women,
- I have realized how fucked up fapping was,
- I feel clean,
- I feel alpha
LINK – NoFap has cured the brain, but what can I do about the body?
To cut a long story short, like many of you, I had begun masturbating in my early teens. Twelve years old, to be precise. My reason for doing so? Quite trite, actually: “It felt good.” So, to my juvenile and naive mind, fapping seemed like the ultimate solution. Then, of course, came Internet Porn, and for the next six or seven years I was nothing but a pathetic looser who couldn’t find the courage to ask any girl out, yet, at the same time, constantly consoling himself, “Who needs those f*gly bitches when I’ve got the prettiest babes of the world at my disposal?” Only I didn’t. Nor does anyone else who thinks that porn stars, no matter how ‘hawt’ they may appear (even then it’s dubious, what with the rise of popularity of fake boobs, lips, faces, and… well, pretty much everything else), are better than real women.
Anyway. Something like three or four months ago came the ‘Moment of Clarity’ — as some refer to it — and I’ve realized just how pathetic my entire existence was. I made the decision to quit fapping once and for all because I felt like it had become an addiction rather than a need, but still continued to view Internet Porn, because hey, there’s nothing wrong with looking at some T&A, am I right? Wrong. It wasn’t until, again, like many of you, I discovered ‘Your Brain on Porn’ when I realized what was the source of all of my problems.
Now let’s fastforward to the present day, because I feel like you can pretty much guess how things went on from there, shall we? So, like I’ve said, I’ve been clean of both fapping and Internet Porn for a good month or so, started feeling some of the popular benefits of NoFap (e.g., a humongous increase of self-confidence, a noticeable improvement of social skills, and last but not least, I’ve started acting a lot more natural and suave even around women), and am actively seeking a real-life sexual partner. Serious, long-time relationships are, sadly, out of the question right now because of my overloaded schedule, but after I’d learned that asking a girl out or even getting her to have sex with you isn’t as complicated as one would think, that has definitely become a goal I’m aiming for. 😉
LINK – Never really posted or anything, just saying thanks.
Saw this Subreddit, didn’t fap for a month. Gained 30 lbs of weight(no longer underweight) gained an amazing group of friends. Met the girl of my dreams(our relationship now means I don’t have to fap) and I have learned how to love myself for who I am. I didn’t realize I was so cold towards life and how something so simple as not fapping led to all that. So….Thanks.
What are the most pronounced physical effects you have noticed when you stick with nofap?
REPLY 1)
I put the following physical effects down to nofap because I’ve changed nothing else in the last month (e.g. diet, exercise etc):
- voice has deepened
- skin is clearer and spots have cleared up
- I feel physically stronger + more flexible
- more energy, on balance
And, of course, there are the psychological effects. For me, these have been greater confidence / self-esteem, determination, awareness of other people (& their positive response to me), sense of calm + much less OCD-style thinking. For short intense moments I have felt the exact opposite of these effects, when I have the urge to scuttle back to fap and the porn! But a new habit is definitely forming, and I’m enjoying the results.
REPLY 2)
Before i started NoFap, i fapped daily. Since then, i have been relapsing but I haven’t given up. Before when i fapped daily i didn’t notice it but now, when i don’t fap, i think clearly. I relapsed last week and it felt like there was a cloud just lingering over my thoughts, i had head aches, i felt lazy and not motivated. When i abstain, i notice around day 7 of nofap, that cloud just disappears and i think clearer and have more focus and energy.
REPLY 3)
If we’re being strictly physical, I notice lots of energy and a mildly deeper voice, although that may product of a rise in confidence.
I am not really going out and socializing as much as I wish I could, but every time I do, I’ve noticed it’s been easier to meet at least one or two girls and have nice pleasant interactions, even on some occasions getting phone numbers. But this may have to do with the fact that I’ve got a great new wardrobe, which in turn translates to confidence.
LINK – Success after long reboot
When I visited yourbrainonporn it was after reading a related article on psychology today website. The whole puzzle of having erection mostly for porn and expectations of porn kind of seduction from my wife fell into very understandable jigsaw puzzle.
My first question was how long does reboot take. I went on for two months. The process even has had a dramatic benefit to my personality. I am less shy, I am more confident and active. However it eventually took me 3 months instead of usual 2 months and I am happy to say my married sex life has turned over its head to become just fantastic.
LINK – The cowardly lion that found his courage(115 Days)
Porn use got worse and worse throughout my life and would binge and then I would wonder why I couldn’t get a girlfriend or why I was so shy or why I thought the world was against me and why no one liked me. I have seriously considered suicide throughout my life because of these issues but I was able to cope with it until I found YBOP site after googling some stuff about being gay (I knew I wasn’t but damn HOCD) and erection problems(on multiple occasions with girls which furthered HOCD). I came to the conclusion it was porn and I was on a new mission to get rid of porn. 115 days later I have finally broke free of the chains of porn although I won’t lie, thinking about looking up porn is a constant problem, but I just know that If I don’t I’ll be able to have sex with my beautiful girlfriend the next day
Within the span of the 115 days I have:
- Found a job at the local Ice rink
- Got a beautiful girlfriend who is down and was very understanding of the process I went through
- Found more meaning in life
To all those still struggling, just stick with it. Time heals this wound and never ever cave in. Life is a challenge and as a man your mission is to make it your bitch.
LINK – I can definitely tell my voice is deeper.
My interactions with females is completely transformed. It seems there is some unconscious recognition that you have more power or something, its hard to explain. Females are complementing me on my looks and body. My awareness around social situations is much better, I can read peoples body language better.
People cannot intimidate me as before. I feel that their anger just bounces off me, and I am still in a serene state.
As I do a lot of meditation, my meditation has gone off the chart.
I definitely believe that saving my sexual energy from not ejaculating, has given my some type of power that is unconsciously sensed by others. It has definitely made me a more powerful person.
You will only understand when you experience it yourself. So far the advantages of nofap/noejac far outweighs the quick thrill of orgasm. I can feel my power building more and more.
TL;DR – No fap is worth every effort you put into it
LINK – I can definitely tell my voice is deeper.
Seconded. I feel like I went from a SAP to Sean Connery in 30 days. Where women used to avoid me, I now catch them checking me out. I walk around like I could care less and they love it. Your comment about about power is totally spot on – authority figures, especially in the workplace, have gone from terrifying overlords to insignificant pests.
I realize how ridiculously egotistical that sounded. Ha ha.
But it’s true. This makes a boy turn into a man.
It’s one of the most common effects of nofap. For me, it started after 7 days and has and has only grown stronger. I can now stare people dead in the eye at will. Unbreaking gaze. I want to hear theories on why. It’s really strange.
School started on around day 20, and, although I hadn’t seen many changes until that day, I saw huge changes in myself on the first day. While I never considered myself shy or socially awkward, I was just about as socially dominant as it gets. I was striking up conversations with everyone and making a lot of new friends with people that I’d known for ages but just never really became friends with. I felt pretty good, and you could definitely tell that my confidence was going through the roof. As time went on, I made more and more friends, and I became very widely respected.
I am a different man than when I started this experiment.
Someone from nofap first suggested that I look into curtailing my porn use and at first, I laughed it off. Then after viewing yourbainonporn and reading more nofap stories, I decided to give it a shot. It took me no less than a week to really realize I had an issue with porn. It was a concept that was probably in the back of my mind prior to, but I didn’t really address it otherwise. EVERYone looked, right?
I was going to wait until I got laid, but that’s just one piece of the puzzle here. Within the past few months I have been more motivated than ever to get some and to be with women. I’m more aware of ‘the look’. If you have yet to pick up on that subtle shift of eye motion, it’s pretty intense and a bit unnerving (in a good way though). I am fully aware that I don’t know quite how to handle the attention yet.
I joined OKcupid about a week ago and while I do have some personal doubts, my response rate has been quite good. I came close to getting a date, but she flaked out on me. I’m already messaging a new, prettier woman. What’s odd and I didn’t think this would happen, I am beside myself with all of the options out there. I don’t have to be the perfect mate to get a girl. I just have to make an effort.
I should also state that I used to have social anxiety disorder. It essentially made speaking torturous. I’ve been through a lot of therapy and I’m back on meds after being off of them for a considerable length of time. Still, I have never felt so motivated to want to be with a woman and I attribute that largely to being pornfree. I know I have short-comings, but I have a lot to offer as well.
TL;DR this has been one of the better ‘experiments’ that I have decided to do. I’m more motivated and closer than ever to getting a girl.
LINK – Any Correlation between Lack of Fap and how you interact with real-life women?
I’ve been fap-free for about 3 weeks now and I’ve noticed that I’ve been acting more flirty and sexually aggressive around women. I wonder why this is the case.. Anyone else notice a similar change?
LINK – On my last streak, day 11, I noticed I wasn’t beating around the bush any more when I had to tell somebody I did not want to do something, eg “I don’t want to go to the movies tonight”. Conversation with women was flowing easily. I could hold eye contact as well, but I also did that back when I still fapped. Good luck on your journey! 3 Weeks are very far away for me!
LINK – Yep! I find it easier to maintain eye contact, talk to more women since I find it easier to approach people I don’t know and feels like I could tell which direction conversation was heading before it did. Feels good man.
30 Days -.Wish i knew about it earlier..
I have today completed 30 days of nofap and its one of the best decision i have made in my life..I am more confident,can make eye contact easily with people when talking and walk more confidently..
I also discovered that i have internet addiction which fueled my porn addiction. I am now reducing my internet time by installing chrome nanny for websites..
I just went today and joined a local gym and have also started holosync meditation. Have joined /r/seduction and learning all about approaching girls and stuff..
Before nofap i always felt that there were 2 of me.The outer one was depressed, moody and the not confident one..The other one (present self) is the exactly the opposite..Though i have a long way to go,i am glad i started this journey and wish i had done it way earlier (like in my teen yrs)..
Nothing To Do With My Superpowers
Nofap is going great for me. I feel great most of the time. I am more confident and I am getting a lot of aspects of my life under control after chaos of a year ago where I was depressed and having anxiety attacks. I’ve come really far.
My main super power is self esteem. Just knowing that I no longer fap and just about every guy ever still does makes me feel that it was all worth it. Of course I have many more reasons for doing it but still. I also am a lot better about not being awkward around girls. I put myself out there to be friendly whenever I can. I met some really attractive and awesome girls at a concert the other day and it felt awesome.
But with all of this I don’t really have a way to use these powers. I’m in high school in a high level program that only 24 kids are enrolled in. I have just about every class with these 24. I already have met all the girls, and one of them used to be my crush and was turning into it again. But that is out of the question for multiple reasons. And I am stuck in this class where I was only interested in one girl and barely see any others during the day. I’m really motivated to meet new people (anyone in fact). I just like meeting people and I like it even more that I am more confident. But there is no way for me to do that.
It amazes me how I still see improvements even though I essentially started this back in January. I’m still coming out of my shell and my personality is starting to really comeback. I feel like I am someone who has taken a longer time to recover because I’ve picked up some habits long the way that are probably a result of my porn use, but not directly from my porn use.
I Was at a family reunion for the past 5 days. Usually I am very antisocial and awkward at these things, but this time I was very lively and social. I had fun the whole time. In the past I might have been able to put up a facade for a day or so but I felt it took to much effort. Also, usually I have to be drunk to loosen up like I did, but I didn’t drink. Alcohol was available but I just passed on it.I used to use alcohol to relax and loosen up, but now that I don’t need booze anymore, I’ve become a very light drinker. Feeling very confident recently.
Been taking more social risks like I mentioned in my last post. It feels so much better than worrying about always saying the perfect thing. It’s also really paying off.
(Day 63) the reboot process is going pretty good. I feel much much better; anxiety and depression are on low, and I’m starting to get very good moods.
Just letting you all know there is hope. I had sex with an absolutely gorgeous woman last night. This wasn’t an easy lay either. A lot of my friends that get alot more action than I do have tried with this girl and all failed but I put in the work and was blown away. If you feel like fapping go out and be social. Go meet people. Make moves and dont look back. I’m telling you, just a week ago I felt like depressed and sad and today I have my confidence back. Got laid last night for the first time in years.
Why did I/am I continuing to do this? Number one* reason was to help with my depression, as I am a manic depressive who doesn’t take meds. And let me tell you, it worked. Now whenever I feel depressed I think about WHY I am and for some reason I start to laugh and feel better. Basically, I no longer even go more than a day (at worst) feeling sad and/or depressed. So why stop this journey? It would make NO SENSE AT ALL to go back. My medication has become cold showers followed by hitting the gym, at least 5x a week.
Other benefits:
- Much more calm and generally a happier person
- Feelings of emotions are much more intense and pleasurable
- Beginning to love and respect myself more and more with each passing day
- It takes a lot to anger and/or upset me now. Basically if it’s something not in my control, I don’t give a fuck.
- Mind no longer goes to those place when I see a woman I find attractive. I now appreciate her for more than just her body.
- No more brain fog. Much easier to concentrate.
LINK – Today I deleted gigabytes of porn from my harddrive. My entire collection. Amassed over months and months of late-night fapping…gone in an instant.
And I didn’t even care.
I saw the thumbnails as the progress bar made it’s way to completion. How I was ever compelled to masturbate to images of women I don’t know is beyond me. I paraphrase Dr. Manhattan, a character with whom I greatly identify:
“I would only agree that porn is as satisfactory to the libido as a photograph of oxygen is to a drowning man.”
Today, at work, a gorgeous brunette walked directly in front of me as I made my rounds. She went over and looked at an item in an aisle, pretending not to notice me in that incredibly noticeable way. She was about 5’4″, 110 lbs. Fit and curvy – my favorite combination.
I didn’t get nervous, like I used to. Didn’t feel immediately out of my league. I felt complimented and graced by her flattery. It’s such a wonderful thing to notice someone you find attractive finding you the same. Once I improve my station in life, I’ll have the means to pursue dalliances like this further.
Last night was my forty-fifth. I feel better and better each day. I’ll never return to my former habits; the fable about the two wolves is all too true.
LINK – Day 14 and for the first time in my life I asked a girl out!
Thanks man. But you see I was not progressing with this girl at all. I used to blame her for it. But let me describe how no faps changed me. I started being more social at college. I accepted an invite to go out with them, and that’s when I bumped into her. She saw me with girls and I guess I was a lot more confident. This progressed to me being even more confident when texting her. I guess I just realised that I have to make the move, if I want to go out with her. NoFaps basically helped me stop thinking what others will think and follow my instincts.
LINK – It’s amazing when it hits you.
Wow. It’s incredible what this has started doing for me. Earlier today, I started crying. I felt so shitty. I kept thinking about how I haven’t had a girlfriend in 3 years, I barely graduated college on time, all of my friends are actually just drinking buddies, and I masturbate because I’m too much of a wuss to get a real girl. Essentially every negative aspect of my life got magnified and I got emotional. Sounds like the exact opposite of NoFap’s supposed results.
But later, about an hour ago, it hit me how amazing this is. In the last 14 days, I have: looked at porn 0 times, touched myself only once, hit on 3 women, developed a crush on 1 woman, begun planning what I will do with my post-grad self, begun reading a book I’ve wanted to start for months, and been more social with my friends and random bar patrons. I feel (almost) satisfied and have a positive outlook. Instead of living in a haze of shame, confusion, and doubt, I am looking forward with optimism.
This is not meant to imply anything about anyone’s current situation. Anyone around or past my time length who doesn’t feel this way, I mean no discouragement. Only encouragement. And I should add that I do not think NoFap is the only thing you have to do to improve your life. But, at this point, I can only think NoFap has seriously altered the course and status of my life and will continue to do so. So everyone be positive, be diligent, and stay together here. We can grow. We can triumph. We can change.
Edit: Got a date with the girl. 🙂
LINK – Confidence
I’m seeing a lot of awesome posts about people with renewed or improved confidence, but I’m also aware that a lot of people might be wondering if this is some kind of placebo effect/misconception. I can tell you, it isn’t.
A couple of months ago, I was a sociable guy, and I enjoyed meeting new people, but I really didn’t have the balls to engage in conversation with new women. Either they had to come to me, or I had to spend a long while slowly sparking up nervous conversations with them (and when I did, I constantly judged myself on what I said, and how they would react). After 85 days, this has changed dramatically.
I can’t quite explain why – maybe it’s the fact I no longer objectify women, or see them as alien to me. Maybe it’s the fact I no longer carry the weight of shame about my porn activities. It might even be some chemical re-balance, who knows? But it’s definitely there.
Consistently for the last month or so, whenever I’ve gone out, I’ve always engaged in conversation with new women, some of them a good few years older than myself (which would have scared the shit out of me before all this), and they’ve all responded positively. I’ve gotten numbers, had drinks bought for me, danced with them – I tried to avoid letting things get too intimate afterwards, because I’m trying to hit 120-150 days before I start attempting anything physical, but the opportunities were there. I just carry myself with a lot more confidence, and the couple of women who weren’t interested didn’t distress me at all – I just carried on to the next conversation.
TL;DR: the renewed confidence isn’t imaginary, it’s a genuine, tangible change
I’m really starting to feel like my old self again.
Prior to being addicted to porn I would approach an attractive woman at the drop of a hat, full of confidence and conversation. I lost that ability somewhere along the line. I was consciously and subconsciously terrified that if things progressed to the point of sex that I would fail horribly. That fear completely crippled me having the confidence to approach women.
There is a lady that I’ve seen in the building where I work for months and I’ve never said a peep to her. The last time I saw her I promised myself that I would speak to her and at least get to know her name. I saw her this morning walking from the parking lot and I felt the Beast within roaring. I spoke to her found out her name and told her mine. I was charged all morning. I ran into her again at lunch time and told her I’d like to take her to lunch and gave her my number.
It felt really good I was practically giddy over it.
I can also touch them with ease, without a trace of awkwardness. I don’t know how but I can just stroke a ladies back, or touch her shoulder. Even simple things like giving her a kiss to say hello. I could not do this before, and it feels so good, so natural, makes me feels so in control, so much like a man.
Mental State: I feel happier. I like people more, and I feel like they like me more. I’m in control of my former addiction. I’m in a graduate program right now, and my goal at the begging of the year was, “Get ripped. Get good grades. Have sex. Nothing else.” I’m closer to that goal.
Confidence: I’m looking people in the eyes when I talk to them now. I’m enjoying life. I’m talking to strangers at the grocery store- some attractive women, some not, but I feel like I’m a lot more awesome now, and I feel like my outlook is infectious. I have less trouble approaching women. I’ve been on dates with 3 different girls sense I started, and the most recent one, I really like! Also, I don’t get nervous when I talk to large groups of people. No more butterflies in the stomach.
I’m right next to you. I’ve never been a “Physical” guy (I’m a master of the side-hug) as I was afraid my mind would sexualize something that was in fact innocent. I know I’m only 17 days in, but I’ve found that I am much more comfortable around women and find myself less and less attracted to anyone besides my wife.
I know it sounds ridiculous & I’m sure it’s not the same for everyone, but it feels like a switch has been flipped in my brain & things are much more simple & lovely now. Stay strong & thanks for putting words to this unintended side-effect of a life without PMO!
In the last 77 days I have not MO’d or edged. I did view a picture of P online, once or twice but immediately closed the browser. I even stopped using Facebook as much as I have in the past. Guys, forget about creeping FB, it serves no purpose. About a month and a half in, more women became attractive. I used to be extremely picky. My confidence has increased and women seem to notice me more.
Today I reached day 77. The last 19 days, my libido has been high, and it seems to be growing still. My confidence is at an all-time high. Even though this feels like hell, to be turned on throughout the day while trying to distract your mind from sex, I have never felt better! I don’t know if I am 100% cured, but I feel as though I am nearly there. Real sex with real girls, this is going to be a damn good summer 😀 and this journey was absolutely 100% worth it! I wish I started it earlier.
I now make direct eye contact with every attractive woman I find, and there are plenty. I make eye contact and smile in a subtle way that lets them know I find them attractive. I am making love to them with my eyes. And what is their reaction? They smile! They blush! They look at the ground/away while smirking. I am intimidating them (in a good way).
I always thought this was very creepy and I’ve always avoided doing it. At least that’s what we’ve been taught to believe. Discredit everything you’ve heard or seen in the media. Real women are beautiful and they are here to attract us. They want to be desired and they love being looked at. The best part about this NoFap journey is that it slowly removes the obscured vision that these porn glasses have placed on us all. The reality of it is that beautiful women are everywhere, and they are way better than a useless screen.
At least 6 months ago (I stopped counting after 90 days), I stopped watching porn and stopped masturbating, 100%. The most noticeable outcome was after about 1-1.5 weeks. I was more sociable with females than I had ever been in my life. I began taking immediate action, and every opportunity that presented itself, to interact and have sex with said females. While that might not seem like much to some people, I have always been highly reclusive and relatively uninterested in pursuing anything socially, let alone with the opposite sex.
About 5 weeks in I stopped drinking alcohol/using drugs completely. While I don’t know if I can attribute that entirely to the reboot, it definitely played a big part. As time went on things just started to snowball and just about every aspect of my life has changed. Here I am ~6 months later wondering how the fuck I arrived here. I haven’t had a regular GF for years, so if the end goal is to have more success with females and more sex, it definitely did its job. It’s been a bit uncomfortable at times though, because it has changed who I am in many aspects. Nothing directly attributed to it besides the vast array of withdrawal symptoms during the first month or two. Life just became more complicated when I moved out of my comfort zone. I could have lived in that cocoon for the rest of my life no problem… it would have been easy. I’m still new to all of this and not sure where it’s exactly going, only time will tell.
LINK – It is actually working 🙂 for those who still have doubts, I also did. But I tried it myself and now from day 35 I started to feel benefits 🙂 my social anxiety is removing slowly, I have HUGE energy jump 🙂 but first 35 days I didn’t feel anything just laziness… You need to endure that period… Be patient it WILL WORK!!!! (I’m 22 years old, don’t have drugs or alcohol addictions, don’t use any medications). But I started to restrict Internet usage when I stared this. So here u go my last three days were amazing, with lot’s of new emotions and experiences, besides I became horny as hell 😀
I’m also more focused and much wittier, I seem to know what to say a lot more often than I used to. I’ve become more charming, which I think is due to the fact that no fap has made me value other people’s company, in general. I believe that this is because in sexual pursuit we often try to make friends with people who may link us to possible mates.
I’ve also become a lot more emotionally resilient, which I believe is counter-intuitive, because being sexually frustrated should make one very unstable and that has happened at times, but then it passes very suddenly, when before it used to linger for an indefinite period.
I’ve become more in touch with my emotions as well and more willing to make myself vulnerable, which has translated into people making strong connections with me that I often am unaware of. I believe that this develops, because the sexual frustration makes one seek a palliative in connection with individuals, which is, by the way, a HUGE turn on for girls.
Bottom-line is no fap has made me more of a real person, a person that values other people, and in turn ends up valuing himself. It gives you more confidence, because you have no choice but to be confident if you’re not fapping, otherwise you will never get laid, it’s a highly evolutionary response. All of these things aren’t even necessarily dependent on a testosterone boost, they’re more dependent on the very idea of needing to find out how to control one’s sexual life naturally.
In middle school, I really didn’t talk to anybody. I had very few friends, and I never went on any dates. I had gotten to the point where I thought I was just incapable of talking to anyone outside my own family. I kept to myself.
Another thing that was going on during middle and high school was I was fapping a lot. Almost every day, and I managed to get porn in whenever I could. This even further took away my drive to talk to other people. In fact, I didn’t even LIKE talking to other people! It was no fun, and not fulfilling, because I didn’t need other people to be satisfied. All I needed was porn. …
Hi guys&gals!
I’d just like to put my opinion on the subject out in the open. It might seem as a rant, but that’s not really the case. It’s just that lately we’ve got a massive overflow of posts in which people are wondering why they don’t get superpowers “like other fapstronauts” after XX days of NoFap and asking if it’s all a placebo effect.
First I’d like to talk a bit about why NoFap became so mainstream. The thing is, that a few years ago (around 2008/2009), people started surfacing on the Internet who were freaked out that they had erectile dysfunction, but at the same time they could get a solid erection to varying degrees of extreme porn with the help of some good old death-grip. The weird thing was, that in some cases, thousands of people responded to these forum posts, saying they have the same exact symptoms.
Now, taking those symptoms into account, people figured they’ve desensitized themselves to real women by escalating to evermore extreme genres of porn and masturbating in way that no women’s vagina could match the stimulation. They hoped/guessed that if they’ll stop watching porn and masturbating for significant amount of time, this desensitization might be reversed.
These people, who back then didn’t have YBOP, NoFap and dozens of other forums on the subject thought they were alone. The only weird-ass freaks on the planet who can’t get it up to a real women, but finds disgusting genres of porn a turn on. A lot of them were virgins. Some of them were failing for years with real women which devastated their confidence. They figured that they will never be able to have normal fulfilling relationship with a women, and considering they are freaks of nature, they secluded themselves from society and became hermits. It’s really interesting to me, how many heavy PMO addicts work from home and are computer specialists… Sometimes I wonder what was first – chicken or the egg (porn addiction or the seclusion from society)?
Anyway, the no PMO thing helped reverse the porn-induced ED of these guys, and besides normal libido they’ve started reporting other positive changes too.-Depression and social anxiety going away, increased confidence, the feeling of fulfilment and being on top of the world…
I’m one of those guys. I’ve had several failures with women, starting in the middle of puberty. This has become the single most devastating thing to my psyche. In this modern world, where there’s hardly a commercial, a movie, a TV show, or a conversation without sexual innuendos…-I was constantly reminded of my weirdness. Every Time I saw a sexual scene in the movie i thought to myself “Wow, how easy it is for that guy, is that how’s it supposed to be? I could never get erect so easily, even with such a beautiful women”. When I saw a picture of a beautiful naked women in the middle of a casual magazine I thought to myself “People find this so hot, but I can’t get aroused if a pretty women’s not doing some extreme things in a pornographic movie. I must be so weird”. Similarly with normal everyday sexual jokes or conversations with friends or strangers.
The point is I was reminded constantly that I’m a failure as a man on a very fundamental level, and I seemed to be the only one.
A year before I started NoFap, I’ve even gone to see psychiatrists and psychologists who diagnosed me with severe social anxiety disorder and depression, and wanted to put me on antidepressants which I never agreed to.
When via YBOP (which is just what Gary Wilson found out from those guys on various forums), I found out that the central problem of my life that was on my mind 24/7 can be reversed, the heaviest rock was lifted from my heart. When I went on my first NoFap streak (cca 80 days) I’ve started noticing similar super powers as reported among others. Is that realy so weird? The central thing destroying my confidence and making me feel alone on the planet of 7 billion, was being reversed and it turned out to be very common.
Today, on my 109th day of NoFap, I feel happy, confident, social, smart, capable of meeting any challenge, etc., etc.,…
TL;DR – The bottom line is, I’m not at all surprised by the changes people report. Severe porn-induced ED can be a devastating thing to ones psyche in the modern world. I’m also not surprised that others, whose life wasn’t so heavily marked by PMO and/or abstain from PMO just as a challenge, don’t see this benefits. You need to understand what kind of a demographics reported those results in the first place. Sure, some can experience similar effects as a placebo effect, but in a case like mine, you can’t really call a removal of the problem placebo effect – it’s quite simply the cure.
GUY 2)
I totally agree with you. I see posts from people who to me sound like they weren’t addicted or facing harsh problems like ED and depression suggesting Nofap is all placebo. They probably weren’t porn-crippled addicts to start with! As someone who had severe depression and bad ED, I can firmly state that this has been a completely life-changing experience, and I’m only on day 21. I feel like the real me for the first time in 2 years, it’s miraculous. Also, I think I am finally seeing green shoots that the ED is getting better – had some slight morning wood and as far as everything else, mood and confidence, they are sky high!
GUY 3)
Well said. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that I’m a software specialist, and work from home a lot.
Just want to add that NoFap works wonders even if you don’t have erectile problems. I suffered from a slight desensitization, but not much (maybe because my tastes in porn were very vanilla).
The correlation with social anxiety is undeniable (although porn isn’t the only culprit, of course).
Porn use is fucking harmful. I wish that more people were aware of this
GUY 4)
I suffered from anxiety (not social) and quitting PMO completely cured it – now this wasn’t placebo since I had no idea that would happen and had zero expectations of what might happen and hadn’t read anything on YBOP.
I started NoFap without even knowing what NoFap was or what would happen.
But if someone else has anxiety and it isn’t caused by PMO then NoFap may not help them at all, that is bound to happen because anxiety is related to so many different types of disorders
Just at the bar, ordering a drink, 2 randoms beside me. I glanced over to check them out a little… normally I would have just went back to waiting for my drink. But tadaa instead a “Hi wats up” came out of me like nothing followed by some convo and jokes. I know I would have normally been hesitant. This stuff’s reall fo sho.
Thank guy, you have no idea how this change my life.
First, I’ve learned about NoFap about a year ago and finally understand the impact of the reboot. I have hit my best run of NoFap today and a lot of great things happened to me. I’ve stopped being so alone and started talking to girls (I’m a man). I had never did something like a date or anything like that before. I kissed a girl for the first time of my life on day 19 and still can’t believe it. I know it’s not a big deal for a lots of you but I’m so happy right now and I want to thanks to everyone who gave me supports through my challenge.
90 Days! And now the real challenge begins…(+some thoughts)
Think about for a second just how many people these days are playing video games and constantly jerking off instead of talking to women. All of these people who in previous generations would have had no problems, no social anxiety, nothing. They’d just do it. But instead, escapism has come to the point where no one has to care about it anymore. And a crazy ridiculous number of people seem to have this problem, too. I used to be this kind of person. But I realize now that talking to women isn’t rocket science. It’s meant to be spontaneous, awkward, whatever. There’s meant to be failure at times. That’s life. Just do it.
I have experienced some awesome benefits:
First off, I finally have energy again! I haven’t felt this good since high school. It’s not like I’m Hulk or anything, but I finally have extra energy to DO stuff. I spent most of my early 20’s in a state of low energy and mild depression. I attribute like 80% of it to the fact that I was PMOing twice a day. Now that I’ve stopped, I’ve been exercising, being more social, and generally enjoying life.
Secondly, I’m really digging on all the women. There are women everywhere! Many are gorgeous. When I was PMOing constantly, I’d criticize women in my head. Like, how they weren’t attractive. Now my body just tells me who I find attractive, and some of it surprises me! Again, I’m not magically a massive player. But the part of me that is good with women is easier to access. And I have a LOT more courage. I think it comes down to fear vs desire — which is stronger? The fear hasn’t changed much yet. But the desire is finally tipping the balance… towards taking action. And that’s an awesome feeling.
Thirdly, and most importantly, I finally have gotten my life together. My job is challenging and rewarding, and I was able to meet my challenges. Fueled by my energy, things just seem much more… possible. I’m thinking bigger and bigger!
I work in an office building that has various businesses on my floor. Just now, a girl that I’ve only spoken with in passing walked in, asked if I wanted to grab lunch sometime, smiled when I said yes, and walked right out.
I don’t know what it was, but I honestly don’t think anything like this would have happened before nofap. Maybe it was my confidence shining through or the fact that when I have engaged her in casual conversation I’ve been able to make strong eye contact and speak easily. Whatever it was, it sure made me feel good.
A lot of people do this for girls, I did it because my anxiety was immense and my depression made me extremely isolated. I’m 21 and been using porn for about 7-8 years. I don’t know what day you’re on but after you hit a serious flatline (mine was day 43), everything opens up to be honest. Zero anxiety, Zero Depression. Yes, you have down days but they pass after a day or two. permalink
Decreased anxiety without masturbation!!!
Hello world! I’m Khurana, from India, 19 yrs old. I have social anxiety from past 2 years. Also I masturbate quite often from past 5 yrs. now I have stopped masturbation and porn for 2 weeks, and I noticed a decrease in my anxiety? So is the anxiety linked with masturbation.. is it bcoz that I masturbate a lot so I had social anxiety???
“Son, this is the happiest I have seen you in two years” – My father
I started nofap two years ago and have been taking it seriously since. Coincidence? I think not. Nofap works.
Talking to girls is a lot easier and i feel more attractive and powerful. One other thing that i have noticed is that I can easier look people in the eye, and as a consequence I am no longer constantly thinking about what they are thinking about me. Apart from all this I am still the same me. I have already had sex in my reboot and that is the reason I’m doing this: to have more sex with real women 🙂
Nofap – the cure to Social Anxiety?
I’m on holidays right now and I haven’t flirted with any girls for a while but the NoFap has definitely increased my confidence and motivation. I have mild social anxiety and the NoFap really is helping.
I took the decision to put an end to my PMO addiction for a number of reasons, but curing my social anxiety wasn’t one of them. To be honest, I didn’t even know there was a connection between fapping and my social anxiety. I just considered myself an introverted person and I was fine with that. However lurking on this board, I noticed many posts about the confidence boost nofappers got after a few days of abstinence.
This weekend I went snowboarding. While in the aerial tramway, I noticed a pretty girl. While snowboarding down the slope, I saw her stop and I just stopped near her and said Hi! Asked her name, and had a nice 5 minute conversation. I never, ever, EVER did something like this before. Talking to a random girl has been impossible for me until now. The funny thing was that I wasn’t feeling anxious at all, the conversation even had a few silent moments and I didn’t feel the urge to come up with something clever to say. I felt no pressure whatsoever, no awkwardness. I still can’t believe what just happened. It really did feel like a superpower. Such an awesome superpower to have, now I am afraid that I may lose it 🙂
Please assure me that as long as I don’t fall back to my PMO addiction I get to keep this superpower.
GUY 2)
One thing that I know for sure, is that every time I go for PMO the 2 and 3 days after doing it I just can’t talk to anyone. I don’t know what happens, its like a curse. I always feel so anxious and awkward, i don’t say anything interesting, I act like shit actually. So as you can see in my case anxiety is very linked to PMO, also social anxiety ! But yes with time and abstinence socialization tends to Just keep the improve. So go on with that motivation !!! You’re doing good. Fight strong my friend.
GUY 3)
I thought my confidence levels increasing was a coincidence until I read your post but it seems other people are experiencing it too. It’s awesome! And after only 2/3 days!
GUY 4)
Dude keep at it and dont break down.. every time i feel the need i come here and re-assure myself that im not the only one. its hard to stick to it since we all got used to PMO for years.. do you really want to fall back in the same position you were in? PMO lowers your testosterone which what helped you with that conversation , if you stay strong for 2 more days (7 days total) your testosterone levels will boost up like crazy and that will increase that “superpower” to a whole new level..
GUY 5)
Just over 2 weeks in, can’t say I’ve noticed a huge difference in social anxiety, although when I first started; after a couple of days I was definitely more talkative with people, seems to have gone back to before now, but as I’ve heard there are a lot of ups and downs to this process I’m hoping that after a while it’ll come back!
GUY 6)
Yes it actually gets better.Much better.I feel like if I had “normal anxiety” that I believe most of you are describing here, not the one I have (read much much worse),I would be banging some girl right now.But since I do not have the normal anxiety, I need to really ease into being normal again.Hopefully in a few months I can report the same thing you did now.
GUY 7)
When I was in high school, I was the President of many organizations, a leader, loved to be in management role, etc… but after many years of jerking off well into college, I became very socially anxious, introverted, and depressed. Now I’m 23 years old, unemployed, no girlfriend, sucks.
I might take your advice and stop PMO-ing… hopefully I can get my confidence back!
GUY 8)
I’m like on day 60 something and im feelin fuckin golden. Been talking to chicks, and just ppl in general without any pressure, and just been having fun and cracking jokes. Don’t take life too serious – it’s just a ride. (the best fucking ride of all time!) 🙂
I never realised the reason I was so shy and quiet was because of PM. I never thought I was good enough for anyone. I thought I was too ugly, or too boring. I felt as if I’d never be loved. So I said “Screw it. My days of PMO are over.” And quit.
I’ve nearly relapsed a few times, but I also know what’s going wrong and fixed it. One week ago today, I was fortunate enough to get my second ever girlfriend. This time however, we just click. It’s really good and, as a virgin, this is really exciting. I’ve become a totally different person. I’m louder, more energetic, more clear. I’m not socially awkward. I can confirm that rebooting is probably one of the best decisions of my entire life.
So what has changed? I have more free time. I feel like there are nearly no mood changes anymore. Anxiety during social interactions has gotten better, although it wasn’t really a problem even before starting nofap. Sadly, still no girlfriend, but that’s probably due to the fact, that I don’t really like going to the disco or clubs.
56 Days In, 36 years old, First Wet Dream Of My Life!
I’d say this is quite a reboot. I’ve finally allowed my body to settle in to what it would do naturally. To expel when it needs to expel, not forced. More like Old Faithful… just following nature’s rhythm.
On another note, as other men have reported on here, I have felt an amazing change in my overall mood over the last 56 days. A renewed sense of confidence. A sense of vital integrity. A sense of virtue. Like I can look people in the eye now (without images of porn swimming through my head). Interestingly, even though at times I have these really intense feelings of arousal, ironically I also feel much less focused on sex, but more focused on taking care of my mind and heart, and on meeting the right woman.
This has truly been life-changing!
LINK- Only 11 days
I’ve always noticed that when I stop masturbating to porn, my quality of life increases. Because this ALWAYS happens when I stop, these are the things that changed in my life (not a placebo effect).
1)My sleep sessions are back to normal. Before, I would often fap and then go to sleep at 4 in the morning, wake up around 1 or 2 pm tired and given up for the day. Now I wake up around 9 energized (better than before but still not at the level I want).
2) My emotions are so much more in control. Before I would get angry very quickly with my family members or get frustrated by little things. Now I feel my hormones are starting to calm down. I give less of a fuck about negative things and am way more positive.
3) I can confirm my hormones are started to level out because I have had terrible acne for the last 5 years, and within 10 days, it has almost completely stopped!!! UNBELIEVABLE since I’ve been to dermatologists countless times and been prescribed 4 different antibiotics. My skin is clearer than ever.
4) My confidence and ability to social with people are back to the level it was before I went into the “teen years.” I’m currently 19 but when I was younger before the fap addiction, I used to be top of my class and used to make friends easily. I was able to make people laugh quite a lot as well. Whenever I would fap, the very next day, I would HATE to go out and socialize and would often “Flop” on my friends. I preferred not interacting with people. My depression (fluctuates daily) which I noticed was getting worse and worse over the years is finally starting to disappear (in 10 days ! I cant believe it).
5) For the first time in years, I went to the mall and was hit on by a girl from high school who I haven’t seen in a year. She flirted quite a bit but I was not interested in her to be quite honest.
6) My testosterone levels are increasing and my voice is started to become a slight bit more deeper. I just don’t understand how all this is happening within 10 days. I have always looked young for my age but now I think it was all this excessive fapping that was messing around my testosterone levels.
7) My food addiction ( legitimate problem for me) is starting to disappear. I no longer constantly crave eating bad food and over eat. I often go to the gym to balance out my terrible eating before but it was still destroying my body. In the past 10 days I have lost 10 POUNDS! I’ve been juicing fruits and vegetables and my body is changing FAST!
8) Because I take more initiative and am less lazy, I managed to get my FIRST job on day 8! I’ve been looking for work for 2 years and perhaps it may be just a coincidence, but I think its mostly my confidence and initiative that changed with no fap that helped me get the job.
I know its only been 10 days so it might be hard for some of you to believe me, but believe me or not, I don’t care! This has really changed my life and what excites me is what level I will be in 30 days, and then 90 days, and then 1 year. Who knows! I am NEVER going back to porn.
So, 4 weeks of nofap, breaking a 3 month long 3 day spell?
I’ve finally broken out of the 3 day circle I was in! Now I have enough experience now to simply confirm that fapping makes your skills with women worse, and, naturally, not fapping makes them better if you’re fapping in the first place. It clogs your mind in many unnecessary ways. But I had a 46 days streak, where everything was great, but then I fell into a pattern for a few months, and without me noticing it really, my skills with girls gradually declined.
Now I’ve talked to several girls in the last weeks, and suddenly there has been a spark between us, more or less intense. This is the stuff I am nofapping for man! Also, I’ve gotten a lot more creatively active, and I’m making music again. I even think my voice might be better than before! 😀 Say what you want to, but for me, this shit works. I’ve experienced it, felt a huge difference between the nofapping and fapping way of life. Stay strong, for victory is in sight!
http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/yf9r0/90_days_reporting_in_brutally_honest/
Now, after 90 days without porn/masturbation, I ain’t going to say I’m anxiety free. But it did diminish like 80% from what it use to be. At this pace I will be anxiety free pretty soon. So, let me make a little list to make this easier on the eye.
- Much less anxiety
- Boner anytime
- Confidence
- Desire to meet people and to go out (I wasn’t as SAP as some of you, but if you are extremely SAP and three months doesn’t cut it, hang in there)
- 100% increase in sensibility
- Women detection radar (every girl within a thirty yard radius will be noticed immediately)
- 100% increase in focus (no more ADHD like symptoms, now I can finish things I start)
Day 49-Life just keeps getting better
Hey guys, everything is going well. I feel great. relaxed, confident, a supreme knowing that everything will work out…even better than my expectations. My skin looks amazing, i am visibly glowing, i naturally stand taller, my voice sounds amazing, i feel like a genius, my talking skills have improved by a long shot, people are a million times nicer to me, i handle my emotions a kajillion times better.
there is really no words to describe how i feel. AND I AM ONLY ON DAY 49!!!!! It gets better than this?!!??!?!?!
I wouldn’t change this experience for anything
women are crushing on me hard. they are just in awe of my existence lol. every time i am around women, they get nervous, they squirm, they glance, they look away, they let their guard down, they relax, they give me the deer-in-the-headlights look, or the classic doggy-bowl look. i promise you, i am not that good looking (maybe i am?). however, i feel like i am the hottest guy around. bask in my ambiance world lol. the catch 22 of this: even though i am gaining so much confidence, I FEEL SO HUMBLE. i feel incredibly meek.
guess that’s what happens when you are holding a month and half of sperm in ya testes lol.
the best part is i don’t want any of them. my first reboot goal=get women. 2nd reboot goal=find better quality women.
they all are amazing women, don’t get me wrong.
before, i would take anything that was handed to me. now, i am a lot more picky. i want a queen. i want a beautiful, self-confident, strong but humble woman.
I have since, over the past several years, been able to muster the energy for several rounds of NoFap (without calling it that, of course). Unfortunately, my success has been limited. I once abstained from porn for a month, while continuing to masturbate as a stress-release. That was years ago now, but it stands out in my mind as a bright spot. That was the point where I understood, finally, that there was a very strong connection between my depression and my PMO behaviors. I knew this because after a few weeks without porn, I really started to FEEL a change in my life. But it got too difficult for me, and I relapsed, and went back into the darkness for several more years. My struggle has been on and off since then. I can just about get through a week now, without any PMO at all. But I keep relapsing.
90 Day Report – Depression, and Nofap to a new life.
I’m 16. I’ve had a good life. But the last year has been the hardest ever. 2 severely depressed friends (who I tried my very best to help to get help), and me being depressed as well, along with anxiety attacks frequently. I started nofap depressed. This was 90 days ago.
I never like fapping or porn. I just hated it. The so called “benefits” never outweighed how I would feel afterward. So nofap was my savior. A way out of this depression. Or so I thought.
Nofap has helped me to face problems in my life. Whether they be social or emotional. I no longer have fapping for emotional release, forcing me to face my problems. Depression is an illness right, but I think my depression stems from anxiety and nofap has helped me to cut down on that in general.
I feel like a better person. I can talk to people now. I would use fapping as a crutch to explain why I was so awkward. Without it, I learned how to deal with being awkward. I’ve been more interested in my passions (music, running).
But nofap alone is not the answer. I’m still depressed. But I feel immensely better. Nofap is helping me to make other areas of my life better. I’ve been trying to fix bad relationships with friends and family, and been trying to work harder in school to avoid stress (I’m in very high level classes at school).
Don’t get me wrong. This no substitute for professional help. But it can’t hurt. If anything it will add a goal to your life.
Tl;Dr : My journey through the mystical lands of Nofap is helping me to find my way out of the fogs of Depression
REPLY 1)
Depression has eased up here too! 17 here, and I’ve been attempting to get to 90 the past 3 months and my furthest streak was 37 days that ended a couple day ago. Even though I’ve had relapses here and there, I can surely say this has been the best life changing experience ever, I’m finally getting motivated to do the things I love and interested in. Nofap certainly isn’t a cure-all, but it moves you in the right direction for sure.
REPLY 2)
I was diagnosed with Major Depression by a psychiatrist (it runs in my family, my father and his mother also struggled with it) and you’re right, nofap alone won’t cure it, but it for dang sure helps. Curing depression is multi-modal – no magic bullet. It takes exercise, meditation, healthy relationships with family and friends, proper nutrition, and for all the young men (and older men!) of course I would recommend nofap.
I’m so happy that you have found the ideas behind nofap at such a young age, there is hope for the younger generation! Just the other day I read a story from a 20-year-old nofapper who said that in junior high he would go to the bathroom and look at porn vids on his iphone. I’m 34 and I know if such technology had been around when I was in junior high I’d be in much worse shape than I am now.
Hy, I just want to say something about me. I’m 17 years old and I’ve been fapping to porn I guess for like 3-4 years or less don’t know there was a time when I fapped like 2-3 times a day and I had no idea that was affecting me. I had no idea what was self esteem, confidence in a man.
I was starting high school I had really high emotions when I was trying to talk to a girl, I wasn’t making eye contact with the girl I was always looking on the walls, at her tits and she noticed that but she didn’t say nothing and also I was really agitated that you could see that. I had a bad acnee and because of that I didn’t really liked talking with anybody becuase the way I was looking.
Only a year ago or something like that I saw this video on reddit Your Brain on Porn and that’s when I realized that masturbation was the cause for me. All the symptoms was there, no self esteem, no confidence, agitated, too afraid to say anything, always cared about what ppl think of me. I found out about this subreddit, /nofap.
I was really trying but I couldn’t get more then 2-3 days was impossbile and then I saw a post on reddit from /gonewild and that broke me again I was watching it every single day at pics with girls and the urge was even bigger to fap right away. After that i saw pics with male+female there having sex and then I thought about me what the fuck I’m doing what is my sexual life and from there all began for me. I still watch gonewild but I don’t want to masturbate really I can control it.
I haven’t masturbate in 12 days and I feel so good about myself, a few days ago I was with my brother at the mall checking things out about clothes and what I wanted get for myself and I see the this blond girl coming towards me and I was telling to myself I have to talk to this girl my heart was beating so fast and after she passed me I ran after her and talked with her about 10 minutes after that I invited her to a drink and she accepted, we changed numers and now shes texting me every day and she wants to go out more often. I still can’t belive this but I really think It’s my time now to lose my virginity.
I really wish you good luck with your journey and never lose faith even if you broke from time to time.
LINK – I’m 8 days in and two things have happened that I am convinced are not in my head. My voice has stopped cracking so much and has become slightly deeper and more authoritative. I feel my words have impact now. I mean, it’s subtle, it’s not like I could get a job on the radio now, but I believe it to be true.
Age 18 – Social Anxiety/Panic Attacks pretty much gone. More confident, Grades improved
Another reason i’ve been able to do it is because i used to not be a very social person. I would mostly keep to myself and hate everyone else, occasionally would hate myself as well because i would be disgusted with how lazy and anti-social i was. Since starting this challenge i’ve been much more social and even after a week of starting this my mom told me that she liked the new normmeow. I still might be a virgin and have not yet kissed a girl but i feel that as long as i keep this up that eventually i will meet someone because i’m not just keeping to myself as much any more.
LINK – Day 12 now, getting close to my previous best of 14 and feeling great. I’m seeing girls in a different light now, that’s for sure. I’m thinking of them as beautiful or pretty, not hot. They’re not seeming to intimidate me as much either. I think this is down to eye contact.
Prior to nofap, I was terrible at eye contact due to my own insecurities I guess. I would always look down or even at peoples mouths when they spoke. Now I’m holding massive eye contact, like all the time, and I’m seeing the beauty in women much more clearly. I’m better maintaining genuine conversations.
Last night, I went by myself to a party where I literally knew just one person and everyone else knew each other – something I wouldn’t usually consider doing. I spoke and flirted with so many girls, got a phone number too. Things are working out!
finally started to get superpowers through.
Just spent the last week staying in a backpackers hostel,sharing 12 bed room, meeting, talking to new people everyday. such a good place to boost confidence, destroy social anxiety and become more socially outgoing.
Before this, i have been doing no fap since around september, but never really noticed any of these supwer powers, because i live in an isolated village in the middle of knowhere.
thanks for no-fap for pushing me out of the countryside and in to the city, i wouldnt have had the balls and dopamine ( motivation) otherwise
I did something recently I’ve never done before: speed dating. I’ve heard the horror stories but thought I would give it a try. I gotta tell you, I think I did pretty well. Looking back, the thing that made the biggest impression on me is how much more confident I am than before. When I used to meet women, socially or at bars/clubs/etc, I was the shrinking violet–shy, eyes cast down, hands folded, poor posture. I look back now and I realize, the reason why women were not so interested in me before is because I was sending out all the wrong signals. Now, partly because of nofap, and partly because of learning about seduction game (basically how to act confident while on your way to becoming actually confident, i.e. fake it til you make it), I realize that your only limit is yourself.
Compared to the other guys there, I was slightly overweight (just a beer belly), obvious I didn’t go to gym often (no bulging biceps). But I made up for it by being well dressed and wielding a very sharp personality, making witty jokes with each girl I met.
Nofap is not magic, but I feel like things really changed for me over the past 44 days. Like anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it. If you just nofap and nothing else, don’t expect supermodels to immediately reward your choice. But if you work hard at improving yourself, continuously, every day, you’ll begin to uncover the talents you had all long. As I found out at the speed dating event, and when I go to bars/restaurants/etc nowadays, I am starting to notice among men the same poor posture and shy personality I used to have. I wish I could take them aside and share some wisdom on nofap, etc. I think spreading the word about nofap, in a discrete way, will really improve the lives of a lot of men.
Day 8: I can talk to women better
The last couple of days I’ve noticed that I’m able to talk to women I’m interested in. I’m not as shy as I was, I’m not as afraid to be myself, I’m actually funny around them (I’m typically funny but not around women I’m interested in). So I guess this is a good motivator for the rest of /r/nofap to keep with it. There really are good reasons to stop! 🙂
I know being able to talk to women easier is a really nice thing but the biggest motivator to me is my mind. When I’m looking at porn and fapping any women I see in real life are automatically turned into sex things in my mind and all I can think about is sex with them. That’s not a good way to live. I’ve been noticing the further and further I get away from fapping and porn the cleaner and cleaner my mind gets. It feels amazing. Truly.
I’ve gone cold turkey on fapping and porn for a while now and my outlook on life has changed completely. For the first time in my life I feel confident talking to people and I’m able to hold a decent conversation without getting anxious and freaking out. I’m by no means cured but cold turkey can work for anyone, just find something else to do with your time that’s constructive and do it.
Day 80+ and noticing some amazing neurological changes
I wanted to share my experiences in the last few days, because for me personally its been nothing short of stunning. To start off I’ve had massive social anxiety since I can remember. I always fought it, but it was me always basically faking it.
What I am noticing now is a massive change in my ability to interact with people. Most noticeably eye contact… I’d read this on yourbrainonporn, but its like night and day. Starting a few days ago I just started making eye contact with almost everyone and it felt natural. I wanted to, rather than what I’ve done my entire adult life which was either force it, or start it and look away assuming I was doing something embarrassing or wrong. Now I suddenly just don’t give a shit.
Its not perfect though, I can still feel the blocks in my head hit after a second or so, but more often than not I just naturally say “no I won’t stop” and go on until its natural conclusion. This is with guys and girls just normal human interaction
Beyond that when I was riding my bike yesterday, I was passing people and saying hello. I still couldn’t naturally/easily smile as well but I feel like I almost wanted to. I was smiling at things I haven’t been able to smile at forever, like a guy playing with his dog, or a little happy baby in her carriage. It was just a feeling of… almost euphoria.
And beyond that I was looking at girls passing by me without fear… making eye contact and holding it almost long enough. Even flirted with a girl at the cash register and got her to give me an interested smile.
Its nothing short of un-fucking-believable.
I’m mean I am still not there yet… I have morning wood every couple of days or so (still a huge improvement) and its not as good as I remember, but that just means I need more time.
So for everyone else doubting themselves… the rewiring is not linear, it can happen in stages, it can take longer than 90 days, you can’t tell. But its real I encourage everyone to stick with it.
Also if anyone else has similar drastic changes they want to talk about, please reply. I’d like to hear them to see how much further this will go.
Ideally even though I’ll probably always be an introvert, I can see myself now being more comfortable in a big group. The only thing I still need to figure out how to fix is my inability to come up with small talk… I just don’t think of that sort of thing.
From above thread –
Yes I experienced the eyes thing although much earlier. Before nofap, I had read about people not being able to look people in the eyes because of some sort f secret shame and thought this was BS, and hadn’t even noticed I didn’t do it.
But a few weeks in, I suddenly realised I was looking everyone in the eyes. Beautiful moment.
And shortly after – spontaneous conversation. When preivoously i would have not bothered. Body language is a wonderful thing, and i believe if you expresses confidence naturally, people are much more likely to react positively to you, and you end up talking.
My advice? Talk to everyone you encounter who you don’t already know. Not just people you want something out of, or people you want to “target” eg women.
Just say a few things more than you would normally in interactions. E.g. In queues, when ordering something in a coffee shop. Explicitly say hi to people you see (when previously you did not think that to be necessary). Something will eventually develop. If it doesn’t, what does it matter- you are doing it all the time.
Same thread –
Hey! Congrats on making it this far. I can definitely relate to feeling more confident and that recovery happens in stages. 90 days is just a guide, it will take me longer to get back to normal – whatever that might be.
After like 2 months I noticed that waking up was no longer a problem. Before I would need to press snooze or force myself to get out of bed, now I almost preempt the alarm. No coffee, no sugar anymore. 5k at 6 am and a cold shower work much better 🙂 also it used to take me like half an hour to fall asleep but now I do it almost instantly.
Same thread –
Yes I totally feel more comfortable watching people at the eyes. It’s strange how my mind is just better. I am on day 11 right now , but I went like 2 months without fapping at the beggining of 2012 and I just felt my mind completely clear, my mindset was something beautiful.
Same thread –
Yeah for me the eye contact becomes more direct around a week or two of nofap, in correlation with my hormones and desire. I also did some specific eye contact “challenges” years ago which have helped make it much more natural feeling for me. As a fellow introvert, I can tell you that small talk is basically thinking out loud. Its shallow, unimportant dribble that people like to distract themselves with. A lot of it is observational: “hot out today”, “I like your purple shirt”, some of it is ‘lets share our mundane existance with each other’ material : “had pizza last night, was awesome!” If you want small talk ideas, just visit Twitter! Congrats on your successes and thanks for sharing with us.
Over halfway there, thoughts so far.
Well as the badge says, I am 53 days into the journey and so far it has been a great experience.The first two weeks are the hardest, but once you get passed that it goes away. After the first two weeks I fell into a depression for about a week and realized I needed a life style change and that I needed to get off the computer. So I did.
It has been great, I have never been so social before and although I have my good times and bad times I have changed so much since when I first started.
As far as the side effects of nofap, I will tell you that the high you feel after the first week will subside and you may have a brief period of depression/rage but it passes and levels out and you start to feel better.
I feel emotions! I am very happy about this to be honest. Before I used to browse 4chan and to say the least it fucked me up mentally. I become desensitized and things that should have made me sad made me laugh and things that should have been fun, I shrugged off.
day 40 has been a battle (first post)
Fapping became a crutch for me that wrecked my ability to be social and made even working with other people very stressful due to my inability to feel comfortable around others. In particular, I lost the ability to look people in the eye and be confident in myself. Overall, people can tell I’m a good person, but I made people feel a bit uncomfortable and it was really getting me down. So, I’m making a stand and taking back my life. I’m so grateful that I understand the source of my issues. I had gone to see a therapist a couple years back and thought I was just hardwired to be anti-social. The therapist did not give me any insights and eventually I quit going. I know so many people are into porn and seem to lead normal lives that I just never related my issues to it. Now I know that porn has been messing my brain up. I stumbled onto the videos of yourbrainonporn and the light went off.
So the hard part is executing on my reboot plan. I’ve been doing quite well on my plan. I survived a stretch of insomnia, some headaches, low libido currently, and being irritable. I’ve been noticing many positive changes. My voice is much louder and clearer. This is quite remarkable to me. My ability to stand face to face with people and look them in the eye is becoming easier and easier. In general, my fear of social encounters is going down. I still think about avoiding situations, but slowly but surely, I feel way more capable of interacting with others.
Today, day 40 I had a lot of time to myself. I found myself browsing TV for movies with hot chicks. Then I started a google search for girls with nice abs. That’s when I finally decided I needed to get out of the house. I went to play some pool at a local bar in their saturday tournament. I will survive today and keep on going with my nofap lifestlyle. I know the rewards in the future will make the sacrifices seem trivial.
It’s okay to be an introvert, and it might even be a good thing. Introversion does not equal socially inept or anti-social. Those come from the PMO addiction.
I just hit 3-weeks, which is the longest I’ve gone since high school, and I have noticed similar changes. I’m still introverted. I like to take time alone and just think -about anything (and everything). However, when it comes to social interaction such as when I’m at work or just out running errands, it doesn’t seem like such a chore. I even surprise myself by making small talk with strangers, which use to seem so tedious.
I read somewhere that introverts are still social, it’s just that social activity (outside of small groups) drains our emotional batteries, whereas for extroverts social interaction charges their batteries. So after a party or social gathering we just need some “us” time to recharge.
That is enough rambling for me. Congratulations and Good Luck. Remember to be proud to be an introvert AND enjoy interacting with others
I quit nofap and everytime I do I always come back
Years ago when I started fapping I was a hypochondriac mess. I googled every symptom and everything I saw on my body. Whenever I was on a good streak I didn’t even worry about my health. For the past few weeks I didn’t worry but yesterday when I quit I immediately when back into the routine of overanalyzing every spot on my body despite logic telling me I was fine. So I remember why I started in the first place. It wasn’t to get girls, confidence, or anything like that. It was just to make myself happy and worry free. Hypochondria sucks and I am ready to be done with it for good. So I think it’s safe to say now that I remember the reason I started this challenge in the first place thatI won’t be fapping again.
Dear Social Anxiety and Depression, Farewell.
Longest time ever without PMO since discovering porn 9 years ago (im 23 now). Anxiety and depression, nowhere to be found. I’m living my best life.
IT REALLY WORKS, GUYS!
So now after I’ve wrote this post I should put a disclaimer in front of it. No fapping wasn’t the sole reason of benefits. I’ve been meditating daily for quite some time now, maybe 5-6 weeks. I also started doing yoga several times per week. Further I eat consciously now. I get plenty of vitamins, minerals, essential fatty acids and fibers from my food. I do not overeat, I stopped eating junk food, like sandwiches, cookies, dumpling, I am not eating candy and chocolates anymore. Although I consume shitloads of dried fruits, which are really similar to candies. From those you can easily get lethargic if you overeat, but I’ve managed to get a pretty good feel of when and how much I can eat them to stay clearheaded and energetic.
Few weeks ago I’ve started studying objectivism philosophy and now I’m a in process of forming my code of principles, which will help me guide my choices for the optimum living. I’m very excited about it and expect good things out of my life.
Also something else worth mentioning. Compared to a lot of people in my age group (I’m 23) I’m in a shitty situation. I dropped out of college, I have no money for rent and have no job at the moment. No qualifications or clear talents. Despite that I feel ok about my life. Abstinence from porn and masturbation helped me immensely to feel that way.
BENEFITS
- I don’t get ashamed or flustered if I fuck up publicly. Tested multiple times in front of groups as big as 45 people. Some examples of fucking up: messing up a toast at wedding, getting food all over my clothes, being unable to perform something which requires below basic level of coordination. Haha It was actually all funny to me, even now I remember those things as positives.
- I’m so much more comfortable in social ‘mini confrontations’ if someone says a joke at my expensive, I have a much higher chance of responding in a cool manner and If nothing comes to mind I’m not affected emotionally or affected much less. I now tend to hold less grudges and let things go sooo much easier.
- Initiating pleasant conversations with strangers is easier and more natural. As for approaching girls specifically, instead of having a blank in my head, I get creative ideas about what to say, I don’t capitalize on it often though. Also I feel that I’m more comfortable with being rejected and being direct.I don’t approach left and right, but I have more positive outlook and higher self esteem, because my standard of what’s possible expanded.
- I am able to notice and analyze my emotions. It benefits me at least in 2 ways: I do not immediately respond with an nonconstructive response, when having an emotional, tough conversation with people who are important to me. Second benefit is that, even if I still experience, depression, sadness, shame, guilt, it has a more observational element to them and instead of tearing me from the inside, it nudges me in a semi friendly manner. That manner is “here is WHAT you are feeling, here’s WHY you are feeling it and here’s what you have to DO to make it go away”. It’s a call to action.
- Loneliness, nostalgia, sadness decreased dramatically in my life, despite changes happening for the dominant part inside me, not in external world
- I started to hate indecisiveness, pussy footing and pussy manners. Yes fuck you “Am I the only one which thinks that…” GUY and “LIKE LIKE LIKE” GUY and “Is it me or….” GUY. Yes it has a positive too. My procrastination rate decreased, I make decisions faster and I stick with them at higher success rate than before. When it comes to habit-decisions I get daily feelgoods, just from knowing that I stuck with my decision. I love myself for that and I respect myself.
- When I look in the mirror I often think that I’m good looking. Compared to before, I would usually think that I look like a loser. Now I actually feel somewhat good looking despite looking the same way lol. Except maybe losing some fat from exercises, but you have lift my shirt to see that, face is the same, I think.
- Oh yeah and my voice is deeper. I started feeling it about 8-9 days ago. It hasn’t gone away yet
Honestly, I never felt this confident and it’s scaring as fuck. Because i never was able to man up like that. Nofap gave me the power to talk,smile and to walk with confidence. I even had the guts to tell a girls that i loved her until Saturday and i ruined away a 3 years friendship and yes right now I’m trying my best to repair everything, but I’m looking forward for life. I’m wasting less time on touching my weewee and I’m using it to be a better person! We’re on a mission guys! NOFAP. We learn from experience.
Same thread –
I’m on the same boat as you guys. I can talk more easily with other people without quickly looking away. Eye contact don’t bother me as much and I’m not as nervous as before. I hope the trend continues and we get even more confident!
Same thread –
It’s really amazing, isn’t it?
I’m only on Day THREE and I just looked in the mirror and was confident in my body. I weighed myself and I haven’t lost any weight or gained any muscle. I’m the exact same guy I was three days ago physically, but mentally it’s a whole different ball game
I find that with my extra confidence I’ve become better friends with the people around me, which in turn distracts me from the temptations of my computer in my room. I practicably found myself at day 10. Go forth, find friends and do crazy stuff. Get lost in what really matters in this world.
GUY 2)
Agreed, it’s helping me like crazy. Social anxiety (to the same extent as before) is a thing of the past! Maybe it’s because I coupled this challenge with going off cannabis too, I don’t know but it’s working.
GUY 3)
I feel the same. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made
Overall, I really have enjoyed the energy, and the self confidence I’ve gained through nofap. It really does work wonders, you just have to be willing to be mentally strong and resist the temptations.
I hear a lot of how people start nofap for the reason of gaining confidence. Here are my own observations…
I have noticed that gaining confidence also affects how I view myself. Better self-esteem makes me re-evaluate myself and how others treat me during conversations and other interactions. I have been sticking up for myself a lot more and noticing that some of my friends weren’t as much as my friends as a thought (not talking about you John :P). I have to say its very nice to be more in tune and I am making better life decisions. I making better decisions because I have better self respect. This is wonderful.
just two days from reaching 200 days, a reset!
Since I was a busy high schooler (and lazy lurker) I hadn’t found the time to post a long and detailed analysis of my ongoing experimentation with porn/masturbation abstinence but now I think I better post something now before I forget it.
I guess because of these reasons doing nofap wasn’t a huge challenge for me, unlike my friend who could only do it for a week (I referred /r/nofap to friends, teehee).
The first 2 weeks of nofap were around the greatest-feeling weeks of my whole life! I actually had motivation to do what I always wanted to do: write songs, play songs, write poems, publish poems. I felt like a freakin Pulitzer prize winning author for half a month. I couldn’t sleep because I had 100000x more energy than usual. Testosterone overdose, anyone? I was EXTREMELY motivated by my crush.
After 2 weeks life pretty much went down to normal with some exceptions: * Being a successful fapstronaut gave me a mental edge over others. When facing a more alpha male I can say in my mind “well hotshot I bet you sit at home in the dark and masturbate in a corner every other day. Guess who doesn’t do that? ME” * I obviously had more time on my hands which I spent some on video games, some on writing/playing music, whereas before I just played video games. * nofap acted as a confidence-booster as I worked to improve my inner game and self-image with some tips from /r/seduction.
I watched a ludicrous amount of much porn today. I forgot how cripplingly addictive that shit can be. I hope to stop PMO in time for college even though I really don’t want to now. This isn’t the end though, I learned a TON about being a cooler, more attractive person in half a year. I accomplished so much with confidence and motivation that seem to have popped out of nowhere when I started on my nofap journey.
LINK – I tried starting this about 4 months ago. I was a chronic fapper masturbating 2-3 times a day. When I first started I only went 3 days and relapsed. I then went a whole week and really started to feel the benefits, but when i started to get a lot of sexual energy I just relapsed, and so I was stuck in this cycle of relapsing after 1-2 weeks for like 4 months.
Then I finally told myself that I had to stop for good, but this time the motivation was different. It wasn’t only for myself, it wasnt just so I could get my libido back and be able to talk to girls and be less socially awkward. It was for the people around me. It was for my friends and family. It was also for the women around me. I began to think about all the girls who had some interest in me, but I couldn’t be sexual enough to keep their interest. Girls like sex too, but they don’t like a guy who can’t be sexual and who isn’t confident in himself.
So this time I went almost 4 weeks and felt like I really reaped the benefits. On the forth week when my sex drive was really high I was really confident. Before I would break eye contact in fear of socially awkward moments or just coming off as creepy, but this time I wasn’t socially awkward and didn’t feel creepy when I held eye contact without saying anything. I was more patient and emotionally stable, I didn’t get depressed or angry nearly as much as I used to and was actually in a good mood 90% of the time.The woman around me could feel the confidence, happy feelings and sexuality radiating from me. I communicated these feelings through eye contact and eye fucked every girl I talked to. I felt like a much more attractive person. I made clever remarks and I was much more genuinely interested in getting to know people. I was funny and at times didn’t give a Fuck about what I said, because I was confident in all my actions and if I was wrong in doing something or saying something weird I learned from it, where as before when I said something weird in a social setting I would get depressed and then wouldn’t talk as much as a result.
The key to not relapsing is translating the energy from not fapping to just being busy and getting out and doing stuff. I started dating for the first time in my life, worked out, hung out with friends, went to parties, went clubbing, went on trips. I jumped at every opportunity to socialize, and I loved it because I was a social person. I stopped being such a space cadet and stayed present to the moment. I paid attention to detail and what was going on around me. I was able to react better in certain situations, where as before I would freak out.
I embodied the idea of becoming a man. I became a man in my own way, I didn’t try to be someone else, I just didn’t give a Fuck about what people thought. I thought of the idea that a true man goes after what he wants and shouldn’t be ashamed of doing so and so I became this person who was confident, energetic and wasn’t ashamed of his desires. I did and said everything as if I was right until proven wrong.
Sorry this is kind of all over the place and really long, but I just had to get it out and I want to thank the nofap community for helping me realize that there were other people out there like me going through what I went through.
Just got denied today. First time I asked out girl in six years and I am so damn proud
Asked girl is she wants to see dark knight at work. I said passivley if you ever want to see the movie I can drive you. Next time I will be more direct when I ask a girl out. I wasn’t scared at all when I asked her out or agitated or embarrased when she didn’t answer and said okay. It wasn’t that big of a deal, and I realized that we are all human other people are dating and I don’t appear as some desperate loser if I ask someone out. She didn’t seem bothered, but more flattered than anything. Now I can close my book on her and say onto the next one, not wondering all of the what ifs. 15 days I am finally interested in real women and want to join the dating world for the first time as a 20 year old man.
I’m on day 100somethin. The mood swings (anxiety) used to last me 2-3 days at a time. It went down to one day. Then 1/2 a day. Now it’s like an hour or two and it goes away. They are much more spaced out.
I like many fapstronauts and non fapstronauts alike have a big time fear of public speaking. Today I spoke in front of a medium sized audience ( 30-40 people ) with absolute unadulterated confidence and I am buzzing with pride. The setting was a panel with each person speaking on a separate function and my function, while not the most inherently interesting, drew by far the most interest from the audience. I answered questions thoroughly and enthusiastically and even got a few laughs. This is undoubtedly credited to my NoFap journey (30 days strong).
Things have been going good, I am not depressed anymore which of I am very happy and proud. Depression was one the hardest things in my life and it’s very sad to think that it was caused by masturbation. Since my depression’s gone I am acquiring more self-esteem every day, I feel my feet standing stable on the ground.
Since depression is gone I have no serious problems in my life anymore, but damn, that fucking hornyness. It comes in waves. Sometimes I have no hornyness at all and I think I am asexual, but then it comes like a tsunami blowing all my clear thoughts away and keeping me thinking about women. Then all this hornyness leads to dreams which are really bad: I keep dreaming about porn and sometimes my dreams feel like reality. When I wake up I am in bad mood for the rest of the day, I blame myself I relapsed, even if I know it was just a dream.
That said, my dreams are the only thing that are unstable in my life. My mood is fully in control, my urges are fully in control. I would like to thank that one fapstronaut that recommended a good method for fighting the urges. What was the name of it? The Buddhist method? I don’t know anymore, but simply explained when you get the urge for something, no matter what – is it porn, masturbation or junk food or a piece of chocolate, think about the opposite of it. So for instance when you think about porn direct your thoughts toward being with a girl, cuddling, love…
Age 17 – Nofap cured my depression and social anxiety. Other benefits
Nearly 6 months and my superpower is I’m not on heavy anti-depressants in the worst month of winter.
Before I started NoFap I was on a year long dry-spell. Since I’d broken up with my girlfriend I had only had one sexual encounter, where I got, yes you named it: ED. ED at the age of 19?! That’s unnatural. At the time I obviously blamed it on her in my mind, which wasn’t true at all, she is beautiful and sexy, and I see that now. Either way, I have had more sexual encounters in the last 3 months than in the year before it. ED is not a problem anymore.
I guess what I’m saying is that NoFap doesn’t change you as a person. But it enhances you. You become a more confident, charismatic, energetic form of yourself. It is something I would recommend to everyone and I thank the community here greatly.
I started viewing porn mags from the age of 14, when I came upon a stash. It was a every-night thing for a while, until the age of 18, when I left for uni.
I got into a relationship eight years ago, and that rocked for first 5 years — problems started after that. We were long-distance, because of her job, and the isolation and lack of closeness drove me back into PMO big time. I also discovered that interactive video chat was a massive high. So it went for a year or so.
After that, when we were back in the same place again, I realised that I had deeply screwed up my brain. I had lost all confidence and my personal attraction had diminished drastically. I could feel that because I was a really confident and social person before, and that all had started disappearing. It also, needless to say, affected our relationship (though she had started complaining about lowering of intimacy even before the problem started). I didn’t get aroused anymore by anything at all as well. Which sucked big time.
Then one day, I discovered YBP and this forum — Over last few months, I have completely changed my life around — I exercise very regularly, I am focussing on a number of creative endeavours, and I have been traveling frequently. Yet, the damn thing keeps coming back once in a while. I also think that the desensitization of the brain has not only to do with just porn, but technology overuse in general — it distances us from nature and removes us from our creative selves (unless we are using it as a tool to creative endeavors).
Does anyone else sort of feel like a kid again since starting no fap?
When I’m on a no-fap streak (this is my second time, my last streak was about 60 days), I become happier and more content. I get the sense that I feel innocent in my mind, and this is reflected in my behaviour.
Girls and women seem more attracted to me than before. Basically, when I’m no-fapping I go from “creep” to “cute.” Seriously, I can’t count the number of times I’ve been called “cute” by members of the opposite sex in the last few months. And for the most part, only this compliment.
It feels like I’m giving off the sort of vibes I did before I became sexually active (with myself). It’s as though women can somehow distinguish between the innocent youth, the perverted youth, and the sexually accomplished man. It may be all in my head, but clearly my thoughts are reflected in my behaviour.
Brain works much more and much better on nofap: share your experiences please! 🙂
Bam – I’m like a super Asian genius now. I exaggerate, but ya, I can think clearly; my ADD is muuuuch more in control; I’m so much more curious about the cause and effect of things – it’s like dopamine is released when I use my brain to attain whatever I’m after. Yum!
I fucking did it, i overcame the social anxiety
30 mins back I was having the worst urge in this 9 day streak so far, they were pushing me towards a relapse and I felt like I was going to give in any second. But then something clicked in my head and it told me to fight it, fight it like a warrior. I was putting of shopping for food for awhile now because I experience a lot of social anxiety now and then but today I used the urge to empower me, and I kept telling myself i was a loser and a wuss for not going, I kept telling myself why wouldn’t I do something so natural and yet something everyone does in their lifes. So I jumped on my bike and I conquered my anxiety like a badass, I went shopping for food and came home with a bag of food. This seems so stupid and not a big deal for you all but for me it was and I’m happy i did it.
I dunno what is the secret!! But Without fapping .. Confidence boost and no social anxiety anymore.. If you have S.A just do it ..it really helps
Nofap cured my OCD? Hey guys I just want to make an observation. I am not saying that this is 100% but I never realized it until today. I have dealt with compulsive behavior or OCD all my life spurring from some dramatic events. However, now that I’m on nofap it just kinda disappeared like it’s nothing. Kinda crazy. I used to lock the doors 5 times because I was afraid of an intruder (and would dwell on it) but now idk I feel at peace.
So this one I’m just throwing out there as a curiosity.
One of the various benefits of no PMO that has come along with my confidence is ability to speak clearly. I always had what I can only describe as a speech impediment… basically I would be so nervous that I would constantly have to trip over my words when thinking of things to say. This would often lead to me saying the start of something, and then repeating myself about half a second later or so when I was sure of what I wanted to say. It was like having my brain constantly filter everything coming out in case I might say the wrong thing in a social situation. It was worse obviously when talking to strangers, but it was even there talking to family members.
Anyways now while its not gone its like 100 times better. I rarely catch myself doing it, and when I do I notice it, and when I correct myself I do it with confidence. I find myself using better vocabularly, where as before I would avoid using words that were difficult to pronounce, as I could never do it. It literally would be hard for me to make my tongue make the right sounds. Like today, I used the word Superfluous naturally in a conversation… I could feel my brain as I was saying it, say ” NO you can’t do that you’ll fuck it up” ,but then the word just came out.
Anyone else get this or something similar? Does it continue to improve? I mean I would say its 85% gone but I’d like more like 99% 😀
GUY 2:
Sorta the same here. I used to stutter sometimes, especially when I was talking while my mind was elsewhere. Nothing serious or frequent, but enough to be bothersome. When I’m holding a good nofap streak though, it disappears.
GUY 3:
Yes I also noticed a change in my conversations. My voice is bit firmer now. Also able to speak better.. I don’t mean there is a drastic change. I would say there is a 10% improvment in the way I speak.
GUY 4:
I’ve actually noticed improvements in my communication during my longer nofap reboots, including
-better diction -less stumbling over words -crisper, more expressive conversational vocabulary -and of course, more ease in starting casual, fun conversations.
It’s great to hear of your benefits! Keep going and keep us posted on further improvements!
GUY 5:
definitely has improved especially when I focus on speaking loudly
GUY 6:
first of all congrats on 89 days! I too have noticed this change in my conversation, although the effect is not as significant, there is still some stuttering left.
GUY 7:
I stutter sometimes, Nofap can definitely help with that. It makes me more confident, I stutter much less after a week of nofap.
GUY 8:
Holy crap I’m experiencing the same thing. It’s like I wrote this original post. I’ve noticed how my speech gets a lot better when on noFap for 7+ days. Thanks for posting this and giving me more motivation to finally make 30+ days noFap (I’ve been relapsing to MO around days 7-20 for like 10 times now).
21 days in – One of the best things about NoFap is…
Since starting NoFap I have felt both more attractive, and more attracted to the opposite sex. I feel better at communicating with people of either gender, with stronger eye contact and more confidence in myself. I even ended up hooking up with a girl I had known for a long time which has already resulting in some Fun Times (TM). It feels almost like a missing piece of the puzzle has been found, and I am not so ‘different’ from other men as I once thought myself to be
Why the hell am I no longer anxious? I have been on NoFap for a week now. The second day I noticed changes. Instead of being anxious, I look people in the eye and smile at them. This used to be hard for me, it isn’t any longer. I am much more focused as well. When there is a task at hand, I no longer overthink it. Also, I am more comfortable with my sexuality, in that, I am not shy to let me intentions known to the opposite sex. My dreams are so vivid, and I sleep like a baby. When I wake up, I can recall most of my dreams.
My sleep patterns are better, I am more comfortable with strangers, with myself, and life has truly become more interesting. Is this what I have been missing? My god, NoFap as ridiculous as the name is, is the drug that isn’t. Thanks guys.
Hey guys, I’m on day 21, and before this, the longest i went was 8 days. I’ve been PMO for 8 years now, almost half my life, but the benefits I felt were crazy, and crazy good.
- Incredible self confidence. I wake up in the morning with meaning, and drive guys. I feel like going to school and learning, and meeting and talking to people. I can’t explain it. It’s like u want to do it all on your own. Same thing with girls. I just chat em up. I used to be really shy. Ridiculously shy. Watching all that porn didn’t help at all either. I had a warped, twisted image of women that caused me to adopt a pussy mentality. I couldn’t even force myself to look at them. Today I have little fear, but i look right at em in the eye and smile and ask ‘yo, how’s it going?’ and voila, instant conversation. No need for fancy pick up lines.
- Focus level: 9000. Im not kidding. Your head defogs so much and your memory improves tremendously. I’m able to recall whatever the hell I’ve studied for the past few days with ease ( when u have enough rest/sleep of course). Really good and handy power to have when u need to force yourself to do that extra rep as well.
- No more ‘social anxiety’. I stopped giving a fuck about what others think about me and minded my own business. I used to spend hours and days caring about how i looked and ppl judging me. I just automatically stopped caring. U feel so much calmer, clearer, and u grow to love and treasure yourself and people that u truly care about (like your parents) so much more.
Time heals all wounds guys. Really. I never believed i could have overcome this horror of the 21st century until I pushed myself to resist the temptation.
I get tastes of clarity, lack of social anxiety, better thinking habits, better response from women. I feel like I become the person that I am/want to be when I touch this feeling. That’s what I want to keep continuing. This depression cloud took years to descend on me. It gradually took over my thinking and feeling without me realizing what was happening. To see this effect start to reverse itself has to be one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. To see the shame go down and the confidence rise is mesmerizing. I like watching the garbage drop off me, and the dead weight lift.
Quitting porn lowered my social anxiety. Quitting MO has made me a driven man. I have a ridiculous drive for women now, I want to make out with them, fucking hug them, protect them. I did not have ANY of that when I was PMOing everyday, I didn’t even fucking look a chick in the eyes… oh, and yeah, eye contact has incresed massively. I sound like a man, I don’t sound like a little bitch anymore whenever I speak. Reply #27
I started nearly 100 days ago. In that time, I’ve gained focus, determination, social ability, and self respect. I was a shell of a man before because I gave in to the simplest of pleasures.
I didn’t want to fight for anything. I didn’t want to work hard for anything. Now I realize that anything worthwhile in this life will take some hard work. A big reward means a lot of work. Give this thing up guys. It has never given you anything worthwhile.
Gotta run. You see, I’ve got a very attractive young lady waiting on me to take her out. She’s the latest benefit of walking down a better path. Seize the day, men!
There was an ice cream social for a fraternity I was planning to join and the moment I got there until I left, I went around asking for people’s names, what they’re studying and how they’re involved.
I don’t know what happened but I felt absolutely no fear when I was there, I approached groups of people talking and I introduced myself and asked for all of their names, I was able to maintain eye contact and keep conversation flowing the whole time. There was never a moment of awkward silence in the two hours that I was there.
Just to compare, a year ago, I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with the person I was talking to, I would start to blush and scratch my nose and look to the side and wish that they would stop talking. No…a year ago, I wouldn’t have went, I would’ve made an excuse to myself like “I need to study” or something stupid.
Challanged passed, 60 days without porn, and fapping, what I got? Nothing really just:
- First healthy relathionship, fell in love
- Bosted confidance
- General energetic feeling
- Back on life track, I know what I want and what I am going to do
Its not worth it, just a waste of time, leave it guys, fapping to porn while wasting every oportunity life offers is way more satisfying – but I won’t return to porn, at least for now
Well the day has finally come, and I have not. (At least for 90 days) It has been a difficult journey, but I learned many things along the way.
Like many of you have discovered, not fapping has its benefits. After a few weeks I noticed that I had more energy and I had a distinct desire to be pro-active. I got back to working out and I’ve been doing this one routine and have been tracking my progress for the last month. I actually lost 10 pounds as well and I look more fit.
As for the ladies, well my girlfriend has noticed I am more confident and energetic around her which is a plus. I have had a few releases throughout my noFap journey when I’m with her, but I thought that those were acceptable. Overall, quitting masturbating didn’t necessarily improve my life dramatically and transform me into some super-being. However, it definitely gave me more energy and noticeable boost in confidence.
Actually able to hold a conversation now
On day 11 now, which is my second longest streak of all time (the longest being 12 days, which I’m 100% going to break) An old friend of mine came to my work saying that I never “hit her up” (which I never did cuz I thought she didn’t like me in seriousness) She asked me how I was doing and I gave her a whole ass response about how I’ve started reading books, working out, and of course how I’ve broken some bad habits like PMO. I was actually confident talking to her unlike how I was in the past, and we talked for a good amount of time, when before I usually couldn’t keep a conversation going for more than a minute. It’s incredible, I can’t believe how much this short time has changed me. I feel like I’m already becoming an alpha and I fucking love it. If you’re thinking about giving up I cannot stress to you enough how much you should absolutely stick with this path, it’s the best one for you. I promise
I feel the need to write my story and rant a little because I Oed today with a sexdream while sleeping.
I am a 25 year old virgin with social anxiety. I fapped since I was about 12 years old. Fapping was a daily routine till I was about 23. At this stage I told myself to not fap every day because it became very exhausting and I am tired the next day. So I only fapped on the weekends about 2-5 times. Since I am about 20 I am into drugs. The first few years I only smoked weed daily and use shrooms about once every few months. I discovered more and more drugs I like. I took drugs for the sole purpose of making fapping more amazing. Which worked pretty well … My taste of pornos got weirder and weirder. My collection got bigger and bigger.
Don’t read the next passage if you don’t want bad ideas or relapse easy.
Then I discovered amphetamines. If you know what amphetamines do they are vasoconstrictor and contract your blood vessels. You also get extremely horny and they have a freaking huge impact on your dopamine balance. Well I discoverd I could fap for 10 hours straight and cumming 5 times without problems. The orgasms are freaking amazing and I get horny when I think of it. You cum for hours and you cum so extremly hard. I did this about 10 times once every weekend in a row.
End
I noticed this had a huge impact on me. I got quieter and quieter and just didn’t talk with anyone at work and didn’t do something on the weekends. Well besides fapping. I discovered this subreddit and the TED talk on the first of July this year.
Since then I tried noFap and had streaks of 16, 22, 4 and 6 days.
Every relapse I feel pretty down. At least I don’t relapsed with porn so it feels not as bad as my first relapse.
So what has noFap given me till now:
- less social anxiety. I have made new friends which I do stuff and go to other countries or on holiday. Never did something like that in the past 10 years because of anxiety and disinterest.
- I found myself talking more and more to girls at work. Just training the basics of conversation. I know this sounds stupid but I never did something like this my entire life.
- You penis gets bigger. This is no joke. I almost gained an inch till now.
- I can look people longer into their eyes. Pretty amazing if you do this with girls and they are the ones who break eyecontact.
- It seems like girls notice when you don’t fap. Almost every girl I pass in the street looks into my eyes. Girls at work check me out. Even if they have boyfriends.
- I have more confidence to say what I want to say. It seems like other people enjoy this and I am more funny than I thought. I just never spoke up because I was afraid what the other people think about me.
- The ability to not give a fuck about what other people thinks about me gets better and better by the day.
- I am more motivated to do stuff. Two week ago I went hiking the first time in my life.
- If you relapse you don’t lose all of your progress!!! The second time I relapsed I had only 1 or 2 days of bad feelings but after that it was like before the relapse.
So thank you all for this amazing sub and help me kill my SA without medication.
Day 22…well, this is a turn up for the books!
So, are the side effects true? God. Yes. My confidence has sky rocketed. I know longer imagine myself as a troll stooped over a desk, but as a functioning, respectable adult. And it HAS rubbed off (no pun intended) into my social life. I now have one or two people in my life who seem actively interested in me, and I put it down to being more outwardly confident and happy with myself. I will GLADLY sacrifice a few minutes of tube sites a night for feeling this great.So my message to anyone who is thinking of starting: don’t think twice. Do it. You will be amazed at the results, even in such a short space of time.
It won’t get you laid. It won’t get you a girlfriend. YOU will. Because you feel that. Damn. Good.
I was away in vacation around Europe for two months this summer, (LINK) I couldn’t fap because I was rather close to my parents most of the time (I’m 18 by the way). Anyway I didn’t have access to porn or sexy material BUT we stayed mostly at nudist campsites, and in Spain that’s quite…paradistic. Not a word, is now. Anyway this is a chart I made for the amount of days without fapping and how I felt about it:
day 1 = normal day 5 = wow I look so fucking good day 10 = is it me or women look at me all the time? day 20 = holy shit I can talk to any girl day 30 = holy shit I can talk to any person or group day 40 = holy shit I am the most fuckable person on the planet
Please note, this happened to me in intense social places. Won’t be like this in front of the PC sadly.
After about a week I felt bulletproof. It was difficult to concentrate at times but when I focused I got so much more done. I became more assertive & organized & generally felt a sense of unforgiving pride in myself. People noticed too, it was surprising to find myself quick witted in social situations & generally sharper. I spoke louder & more frequently in public. It is like being almost always “on form”, I went through a phase of hypersensitivity & can still work myself up into a frenzy. Almost all attractive girls were (& still are) intoxicating.
All of those years, I’ve thought that porn or PMO particularly is kind of a getaway for my stress/depression. Now through a month of NoFap, I can say for sure that it’s the opposite. Stay strong guys! (LINK)
As of December 31st I was a 20 year old virgin with no self confidence, no job, and no female interest whatsoever.
I discovered NoFap through my best friend, and we both agreed that it was probably a good idea to atleast give it a try since the testimonials were so encouraging. For the few days it wasn’t too bad, i noticed all the usual things; increased energy, concentration and just a larger zest for life. However, as we know, the honey period doesn’t last for long. About a week in it became more and more difficult and I began obsessing, once again, about masturbation. I started rationalising that it was “normal” and it was “healthy” and that I didn’t need to stop wanking. Consequently, i cracked, and felt immediate shame and resentment that I couldn’t do something so simple – seemingly.
After this I really started taking nofap seriously as i realised i was back to square, it also highlighted how much I had been objectifying women. I got through each day by telling myself that I didn’t need it and my mind was playing tricks on me. After about a month i noticed huge improvements in my general intelligence, demeanour (much more..alpha), confidence and respect for women. I started going out more, excercising, and had a huge enthusiasm for life. All of my friends and family noticed a difference but i obviously didn’t tell my mother it was due to not abusing myself 5 times a day..
Some Reflections I’ve had tonight.
I’m going to try and make this short and sweet!
The last few days of my life have been eye opening. Whether it is obvious to you or not, fapping can indirectly affect the people around you. In the last week I have had both confidence and happiness. The happiness has helped my whole family to be more happy and friendly towards each other. I was constantly crabby living on a porn infused high which affected the people I loved. My confidence has also been great, the last time I was at twenty-five days I made a speech at my sisters wedding. Now most of you can relate to me. I hate speeches! I took a class on it and had a hard time speaking in front of 20 people. But during this speech and my nofap all time record, I proceeded to both charm and humor the crowd of one hundred plus people.
The moral of the story is, whether your problem is big (like mine) or small, to work at it not only for yourself but for the people around you. I have seen many posts on here saying that nofap didn’t work or didn’t give you the results you wanted. But I think getting rid of this disgusting part of your life is freeing and contributes to you people in individual ways. Some resolutions are more obvious than others, but keep at it and you will see differences for the better.
So today is day 120 for me, and what a 120 days it has been, doing nofap was one of the greatest decisions I ever made, I am no longer the person that I was when I was using PMO, let me repeat that, I am a very different person today than I was 120 days ago, nofap works, it changes you, rather it brings you closer to your true self.
Let me just say I did not turn into a casanova, but who the hell cares?! I feel so comfortable with my self, sometimes I get this sense that I’m a badass for no reason! I feel very attracted to hot girls, way more than before, but now I know they’re just females, they’re not angels or beings from another dimension, they’re just human females.
Most of my social anxiety is gone, I don’t care as much what people think of me, or if a girl likes me or not, I can hold eye contact with anyone, nobody is better than me, they might be richer or better looking or smarter, but nobody is better than me, I am me, the me that I’m supposed to be, this how I should’ve felt at 16 or 17 if it hadn’t been for PMO.
I am living life way more now, I rarely sit at home, I can talk to anyone, I surprise my self everyday. I still don’t have a GF, yet I don’t dwell on it, I know my time will come when I will meet that perfect girl and I will be ready for her. I feel so much better, when I wake up in the morning, when I talk to someone, when I go to bed, I just feel so much better in every aspect of my life.
Nofap works, it really does, stick with it guys and you will be rewarded, don’t stop at 90 or 120, keep going as far as you can take it, trust me on this, you won’t regret it.
NO TURNING BACK! IS THE THEME OF THE DAY. thanks HadEnough and rcfergie5.
It is a good motto to live by. The benefits of not using PMO greatly surpass the short term dopamine fix that PMO induces in the brain. I feel like my brain is healing. When I started this re-boot, I listed the following symptoms that I felt like weight on my shoulders:
1) lack of motivation
2) irritability
3) brain fog
4) inability to concentrate
5) mood swings
6) social anxiety
Today, I am proud to state here that I no longer suffer from any of these symptoms. My moods are much more “steady”. People are starting to notice. The anxiety is GONE…my concentration is crystal clear, my motivation for life is very high. I also eat better and even enjoy getting out of the house, away from the computer. Fishing, hiking, and just walking with the dog has really helped me get deep into this re-boot without a relapse. These are hobbies I REALLY ENJOY but neglected for at least the past decade since I first got high-speed Internet. I have become a leader among my long-time buddies. Fun male bonding with them on the fishing trips “off shore” in the diesel powered skiff. The skiff was the best purchase I have ever made.
WHY WOULD I EVER WANT TO TURN BACK?
I never had trouble with ED but social anxiety and concentration problems are pretty much my trademark characteristics, and for years I thought it’s just part of my character. I quit 30 days ago, just to give it a try and 2 weeks in I was thinking “I feel the same” but I started this year of college with a new found confidence and motivation.
I didn’t feel the change that was happening but now that I look back and try to compare my “old self” and now, I definitely see a huge improvement. Eye contact was something I always struggled with. I always tried to keep eye contact, but it took effort. It wasn’t something that I do naturally. Online I can make jokes and have fun, but when I’m around people it’s like my mind blanks out. But this mind-block is gone now, I feel comfortable laughing out loud and smiling a lot more where usually I would just smile awkwardly and hold in my laugh.
I also just had my first crush in years. The last time I even had a crush on a girl and felt like I want to be in a relationship, not just sex and stuff was years ago. Seriously. Now I’m not saying I have any kind of chance, but it’s still good. I almost forgot what it feels like to just want to be around a girl and the feeling I get if I make her laugh or if she’s happy to see me.
Now I can’t give nofap the credit entirely, I’m in a new country, with different culture in a one of the best universities around and all this plays a role. I don’t wanna give you the same idea I got when I first got here. “I stopped fapping and now girls are attracted to me all the time!! also I have girl radar and awkward boners all the time!!” Because that’s not my experience. Also girls are not jumping on the chance to be around me. But I feel a lot more confident, a lot more motivated, more focused and maybe a bit more interesting and can hold more interesting conversations. And hopefully on the right track to a better me.
Day 91 – No shit, I’m a whole other person now. Also, AMA!
Here’s my story:
I was a self-absorbed whiny bitch just one year ago. I was worried/sad 90% of my time. Had some serious rumination and overthinking issues. Social anxiety. Constantly feeling fearful/doubtful about the future. Needy and validation-seeking. Often thinking about how unfair life was with me. Angry and remorseful. Resentful towards women.
Since I devoted myself to nofap and other life-enhancing stuff, I am now at last a proper MAN, not the cry baby I used to be. I feel I’m in 100% charge of my own life. Happy 90% of the time, confident about the future. I now enjoy social interactions and learned how to deal with friends and women. Did a ton of new friends, ditched toxic relationships. I feel an overall sense of well-being like I never felt before.
As you said, there were many other actions that led me to the awesome improvements I’m experiencing. But if you ask me what’s the #1 reason for my mental well-being, I’d say nofapping without a shadow of a doubt.
So yeah brothers, keep on fighting, and be strong. This is completely worth it. If you get into other good habits (experiencing life, social interactions, eating healthy, doing some sport) you will feel like a completely different, improved person just like we did.
First day of College! Thank you NoFap.
Well, in my case a lot of my Social Anxiety stems from eye contact, and just from me being a total creep without realizing it… NoFap had taught me to appreciate a women for her hair, eyes, color of clothes.. etc. Instead of her butt, legs, etc. I feel like women respect me more and actually would like to talk with me, I’m still trying to get that part down. But overall I feel really good.
So this isn’t how everyone benefits from nofap but its working for me.. I am starting to gain my social skills back just by not being creepy. I don’t need to be out in public and stare at all these women sexually. I know that if I show her enough respect instead of thinking of how bad I want to get in her pants, I will most likely score a number. And when the time is right, I can confidently and safely become aroused by her. Not out in public!
Tl;dr be respectful to women, don’t internally gap every time you see a beautiful women, respect her and get her number in a non creepy way. If she’s into you, there will be plenty of fantasizing to come, but at the right times.
Day 10, and my most noticeable changes are to my social anxiety.
Day 10, the single longest stretch ive gone without fapping since I was 12 years old. I can’t say that the past few days have been particularly difficult for me since I was more or less flatlined the entire time, and also being incredibly busy starting my second semester of college. I wasnt left with much time or desire to fap. So I know Ive had it easy compared to some of you guys, and I respect you immensely for being able to power through your first week of what must have been pure torture.
Regardless of the flatlining ive been experiencing, I have noticed quite a few changes over the past few days.
The crippling social anxiety that ive been experiencing for the past 5 years has basically eradicated itself from my day to day life. During my first semester of college last spring, my usual routine was to walk into class, sit at my desk and fidget and shake from the amount of adrenaline coursing through my veins caused by the anxiety that I was experiencing.
Any time that the teacher would announce group work I would immediately be overwhelmed by an incredible wave of anxiety flowing through my body. My face would go red, my pulse would quicken, my breathing would become irregular. And then once I finally got into the group I would be even worse — barely capable of expressing a single coherent thought the entire time because of being so nervous. It was a very uncomfortable experience and one that I am thankful to be finally getting rid of.
These past few days at school have been amazing, and I dont believe it would have been possible without nofap.
Now I walk into class with my head held high and a slight smirk on my face just because im excited to see what new things I get to experience today. My shoulders are relaxed and my face is friendly, instead of contorted in fear.
When my instructor announces group work (which they seem to be addicted to), I still feel that initial rush of anxiety hit me. But I know that is still just the initial reaction and my brain will take some time to adapt to my new behaviors and confidence. Regardless, whatever little anxiety I feel doesn’t linger for a very long. As soon as I get into my group I am completely focused, confident, and relaxed. I communicate clearly with my partner, and in my mind I image us as friendly allies fighting towards the same goal of completing our project together.
The only unfortunate thing about my new found social confidence is that most of the time me and my partner will spend our time talking and getting to know each other rather than actually working on our project, and we can waste a little bit of time that way. I feel like people are a lot more comfortable around me. I actually look forward to all group work now.
I have started talking a lot more to people, and expressing my thoughts with incredible clarity and precision. And for anyone who has ever had chronic social anxiety, you know just how foreign that behavior can be.
I feel like an entirely new man. I am confident, clear-headed, and overflowing with energy. And I have to attribute these new developments to not fapping since I have made absolutely no other changes in the past week except for that.
FULL POST- 24 Days: I never thought it would be this good!! (Read This For Motivation/Inspiration)
General life improvement Too fucking long to list, but here are some: Productivity is greater than it has ever been in my entire life, this is an absolute fact. Family and friends are noticing changes. Charisma higher than ever. Motivation is long lasting. No mood swings. Determined like never before. Exited to shape my life in to what I want it to be.
I could go on all day with these…
Now what you have all been waiting for
Social life/ GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!!! Of all the benefits of NoFap, this is perhaps the greatest EVER! Alright lets fucking do this!
1) I have always been told I am a very good looking guy by family, friends, girls (not GF’s), etc. Problem was, looking at porn it showed me fake women–who on recollection are not attractive to me at all, REAL girls are sooooo much hotter!–and my confidence was at an all time low for most of my life. NOW!! I am more confidenct than EVER! Confident in my appearance, charisma and personality.
2) I don’t stumble like a blubbering moron like I did when I PMO’ed: Uhh, uhhhmmm….mmmm..well…ah…..so whats…uh..your name….(pulls out phone and stares at a black screen, avoiding eye contact) Now I fucking look hot girls right in the eyes and give them a confident, outgoing and seduction-like smile.
3) Girls are noticing me. A LOT MORE! The hot fit girls at the gym who I though were way out of my league (BTW fuck leagues there made up bullshit) are now giving me smiles, stares and flirt with me.
4) Before PMO I would never have ever guessed that they were flirting. Now I notice the blushing, tingling of hair, seductive pose, the eye fucking, all of it!!
5) I cannot believe I watched the women in porn, in hindsight they look fake and scary. I do not understand how I found WAY TO MUCH make up, over-tanned skin, and fake colored hair, fake physique attractive. Real girls are the real deal, they are the ones I am attracted to.
6) Social anxiety is pretty much gone. I walk into a room like a fucking boss with a smile on my face and project confidence like crazy. Not afraid of group work at university, not afraid of job interviews. Other men look intimidated by me, probably cause they PMO. MY ACNE IS GONE! I could not believe it! My facial appearance got better!
7) I hear this too much, “Oh god its like your a different person. I never though you were so good at etc, etc, etc”
8) A BUNCH OF OTHER BENEFITS THAT I COULD SPEND HOURS WRITING OUT
Communication and super powers
Before no fap when people would talk to me I would look in their eyes and see right past them. The words would come out of their mouth and I would tune them out. After no fap I actually enjoy talking to people for the first time in my life. After having even a small conversation I feel so much better about myself. It feels like a super power but you never know. No fap has helped me communicate with people way better than before.
This might sound repetitive, because it works. I am not going back to fapping ever. (43 days)
Anxiety has always been a problem for me. It’s a whole different world now. My ADHD is under control. For the first time in a decade I feel normal and ALIVE. I can hold conversation like a normal person. I feel awesome being normal… mature adult .. Some one responsible for his life, taking action, doing something, trying out things. Will be starting out Salsa, and bachata lessons on 31st of this onth. Will see how that goes.
If I come across porn now, I say and feel: ” It’s nothing special ” with exaggerated sounds, and acting … not normal ….. I just want to interact with people, chill out with my books, and have a good sleep like a normal guy.
Earlier tonight I was over at a friend’s apartment. I’m there with my roommates and several people I don’t know, but I’m at least acquainted with most of the people there on some level so I’m feeling pretty comfortable. Anyway, I’m standing in a circle with probably 6 other people, all acquaintances, and we’re just bullshitting and discussing random topics. As this is going on, I turn to say bye to someone as they leave and this black girl comes up to me and goes “Excuse me, what’s your name?” I told her, and then she introduced herself and a few of her friends. The next thing she said took me completely off guard: “I just want to say that you have the most beautiful skin! Your cheeks just have this natural rosy glow.”
I would say I was taken aback, but that would be an understatement. As someone who has suffered from low self-confidence and mild social anxiety, this compliment was one of the biggest confidence boosts of my entire life.
I’ve never been complimented on my skin before. There’s nothing spectacular about it – in fact, I have relatively dry skin. I’ve never been approached that way before either. What happened tonight literally has no precedence whatsoever in my life. All I can attribute this to is nofap.
Nofap has seriously been one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I feel more healthy than ever. I need less sleep, and the sleep I do get is deeper and more fulfilling. My dreams are more intense. My appetite is bigger, but I crave healthier foods. My voice feels more powerful. My muscle tone is better, even though I rarely lift. My sparse facial hair is coming in thicker and darker. I no longer feel controlled by my mood, but instead feel the need to proactively regulate my mental state and emotions. Most importantly, my confidence is (now) at an all-time high.
Guys, these are all very real benefits. Nofap + cold showers is the only major change I’ve made recently in my life. I know some people want to question the validity of some of the claims made by fapstronauts, and I think that’s a good thing; there’s nothing wrong with a little healthy skepticism. However, this is your life we’re talking about guys. If you’re on the fence about trying this nofap thing, just do it. What have you got to lose? Why cheat yourself out of a better life?
To all you fapstronauts fighting the good fight, I wish you the best of luck and resolve in order to defeat your inner demons. You CAN do this. And I promise it gets easier. The more success you have socially and personally, the more you realize how you never want to go back to the way things were. When you get that compliment, or that smile from the girl you pass on the sidewalk, it’s magical: You grow too big to fit back into that computer chair.
I’m the MAN and I’ve always been.. The difference is that I actually believe it now =)
A whole new world is currently being discovered as I continue on my journey to success and growth. Girls come easier, now that I’ve finally discovered how much fulfilling life can be, once you’ve accepted who you are as an individual.
I am beginning to forget my life without NoFap. (130 days later)
Before I found this sub and yourbrainonporn, I was missing out on so many parts of life that I cant believe I am still here today. I started porn around age 11 long before my first real sexual encounter. This led to many problems for me like Porn induced ED/delayed ejaculation, random depression with high levels of social anxiety, and desensitization to many things that I loved growing up. I kept going downhill for years as my porn addiction got worse. I lost all real connections to my family and friends because over time I was replacing any interest in them with porn. I hated life, hated living, hated everything about myself until one day I was lucky enough to stumble upon this sub and everything changed after that.
After I began my reboot with NoFap, I discovered who I really am for the first time in my life. I thought that I was an introvert that had no real interest in pursuing women or bettering himself. I thought that I would spend the rest of my life without any direction or any real connections to those around me. I thought that I was actually worthless enough that it wouldn’t matter to a single person if I was gone. But I was wrong about all of these things and after I realized that, I decided to go all out on this reboot. I combined NoFap with exercise, diet, cold showers, going back to college, and meditation. I didn’t even entertain a single thought about sex or porn.
Now I have changed so much that I can’t even remember what I was like before. My depression is gone and I love doing things again like off-roading and basketball; activities that I loved growing up but my interest faded into my addiction with time. My anxiety is gone as well, and I can even get up in front of a group without any issues at all. Everything about sex changed for the better. I can last 30 minutes and the sensation is amazing. NoFap is incredible for self improvement and many people are missing out on it. Keep in mind that NoFap is also just the first step.
Personal Issues with Pornography Addiction/Chronic Masturbation
Stated simply, a “tolerance break” from pornography, coupled with abstinence or restrained masturbation can help your brain reset expectations for sexual gratification and relationships, as well as boosting confidence, energy and sexual performance.
I’m personally a “graduate” of the method, having successfully done a 56-day stint completely abstaining from porn and masturbation last year. My original goal was 60 days, but I ended up “breaking” on the 56 day by having sex with a beautiful woman who’s now a great friend of mine. Prior to this, I had not had sex in nearly two years, and masturbated to “fucked up/extreme” porn multiple times a day. I’m not currently in a relationship, but my sexual needs are being fulfilled. More importantly for me was the increased energy and self confidence that arose as a result. I went from a minimum-wage part time job to a full-time position that actually puts my credentials and knowledge to work. This required a massive leap in every aspect of my life (motivation, character, self-respect, public speaking, etc.) and I fully believe that my no-porn journey helped me build the confidence I needed to succeed. After all, if you can make your body and mind bend to your will, there is very little you cannot accomplish.
9 weeks – Depression is hugely improved, Porn was sapping me of my willpower
I’m on day four of nofap, my longest streak being 34 days, and I have noticed I’ve been more social. Not only at work, but even out in public. I greeted a few people outside, engaged co-workers which led to more exciting conversations, and had more energy.
After day 7 I started getting morning wood pretty regularly, which was very new to me. I remember getting morning wood as a teenager, but I don’t think I’ve gotten it since I was about 17 years old. The past couple of weeks it’s decreased in frequency to maybe 1 out of every 3 nights.
I’m making much better eye contact and my social anxiety has decreased quite a bit. I’m a lot calmer too. I’ve been running the past couple of weeks so that’s also going well, but I have not observed any effects from nofap on any kind of athletic performance. I’m not surprised by this because I don’t expect any benefits in this area, and I’m also not doing much. I plan to ramp my activity up slowly and get back into working out in a sustainable way, 4-6 times a week.
I’m getting a lot more work done, which is the biggest thing for me. I still waste a lot of time browsing reddit and reading news and checking my RSS feeds, etc. I hope to tackle those issues soon, but one thing at a time.
For the first 3 weeks I was pretty depressed. I had trouble motivating myself to get out of bed, and was feeling tired and had no motivation to get any work done when I was up and about. But starting day 25 I’ve started to feel better, and have started getting more work done.
96 day and I am only just beginning.
Whilst a lot of people will discount and discredit what we do here, I can say that every positive benefit I have felt in the last 3 months have been directly related to my no longer fapping.
My conviction never wavered. Not once, but 9 months ago I was mired in depression. I was supposed to attend university full time, but if I could find the effort, hell if I could find the motivation I could barely make it in one day every three weeks. My relationships with women…. Well, I had little not nothing in terms relationships for the past six years. It had taken its toll as you all could imagine.
Now…well now. Despite failing university and all the associated dreams and ambitions being washed away, I have never felt better. I have my first real relationship with a woman. I start working soon, and despite my academic failing I have a fairly solid plan to get on track with my future.
I have never felt better.
My Experience with NoFap so far (it needs to be noted that I have tried and failed the 90 day challenge about 30 times but this time round I have smashed my record with over 2 weeks);
- I no longer find it hard to wake up in the mornings
- Once upon a time I used to think if only I would nofap everyday I would be happy, well thats been happening now and I am. I am sure once I hit 90 days this feeling will pass, but for the interim it feels great!
- Increased confidence, dealing with people and knowing that I am in complete control of my body is re-assuring. I am no longer filled with doubt, because I know that at certain times of the day I no longer give way to the animal within me and PMO
- Goal setting, slowly improving other areas of my life. NoFap is one milestone, and then completing it successfully allows me to move on to other areas of my life with improvement
Day 50: New semester in college, the changes are very noticable
I just started a new semester at my University (Biology undergrad). I’ve been really excited for this! I started NoFap about halfway through the summer, while I was out of town for four weeks. I got little attention from girls and I just feel deeper and deeper in until I finally decided to quit this past summer. Here are some of the things that I’ve observed.
- I’m more confident around girls. I am much more sure of myself when talking about the and feel much more comfortable.
- I both give and recieve eye contact more frequently, and notice people shooting me smiles, especially from girls.
- A sophomore I briefly met last week bumped into me again today, was thrilled to see me, and gave me her number. That never happened before.
- I walk with better posture, and am always full of energy. People are noticing.
- I feel ready and motivated to start using the school’s rec center gym regularly.
I’m really happy with how this is turning out! This is my first time seeing a lot of new people since the last semester ended, and it’s crazy seeing all the changes at once after 50 days of transforming my habits. I’m really glad I finally decided to take No Fap seriously.
What is your most compelling piece of evidence for nofap?
For me it’s the immense improvement in my social anxiety. I’m a software engineer, in my head a lot. I used to be very extroverted when I was very young, but over the years all this time in front of computers and eventually making a living out of it really changed that. It’s come to the point that I was afraid to say anything to anyone around me, I was worried about how every little exchange was going to end up, like I was waging something really important each time. When I would pass people by I would often feel small and, in some undefinable way, lesser. This despite the fact that I’m a pretty big guy musculature-wise, having been working out and regularly lifting weights for over a decade.
Sometimes it would make me unduly aggressive, more often I would just be resigned to feeling that way and being miserable. I would always feel like I’m socially undesirable, though I’ve learned from various past experiences that often it was me who people were convinced was not interested in them.
I’d be lying if I said things have been the exact opposite of that lately, but they are much better in a number of key ways. I used to think there was something I needed to be doing that I didn’t or couldn’t do. Now there is this energy in me… if I’m alone it either translates to the desire to do something fun or productive, or just a general frustrated horniness.
When I’m around people it feels like it reaches out to them, makes me want to look at them or talk to them even if it doesn’t seem like they’d be particularly reciprocal. I started realizing just how much of these numerous small bad experiences I’ve had with random strangers are just people reacting to a situation in exactly the same way I would.
When I would go sit somewhere like a cafe, I would feel nervous about people looking at me as I come in, as if they’re judging me. Now I just see that they’re curious, or are themselves feeling insecure, or if they do appear to be judgmental they seem to be compensating for something.
These are all things I’ve always suspected in a multitude of small ways, but it’s like how U.G. Krishnamurti put it once, I have only seen the sugar, and now I’m tasting it. The whole thing feels like it’s opened my eyes.
I am only two weeks in and I am already a new man. I can’t even believe how it has changed me. I am really aware of my surroundings and I am enjoying life. I am a sophomore in college and 20 years old and I never have had a girlfriend. I never have had my first kiss. I seriously was a pathetic individual.
Now ladies are constantly visiting my dorm room. And yes yesterday I had my first kiss and made out with a girl for the first time. The funny part is that I was so terrible at it and I realized I am in need practice… luckily she’s down to teach me. I believe that PMO has kept me from experiencing this in the past. I am very thankful for nofap. DO NOT GIVE UP FAPSTRONAUTS
Day 92 / Schizophrenia vs Nofap.
(Day 92) It will be short. I am schizophrenic and because of the loads of meds that I take, I feel that somehow I am not able to experiment the full benefis of nofap and no PMOing. Anyways, I am at my 92 days, and something amazing started to happen… CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS really improved. I don’t f*** believe!! People laugh of my silly jokes, I lead a conversation most of The times I choose the topic. I don’t feel anymore the feeling of having to ”fitting in” conversations. I have never felt this before mainly because of my long-term schizophrenia. Thats why I am IMPRESSED.
I’m on day 25 of my 1st reboot attempt. The flatline is pretty rough. Lately, zero motivation to be social. Really have been feeling lonely and invisible to women. A lot of guys write about how they start their reboot and “suddenly”, girls are throwing themselves at them. I’ve been very suspicious of this kind of tale and quick to mentally call ‘BS’.Well…..
Today I was studying at Starbucks. Guess who was there. Yup, the cute barista from Thursday. We kept looking at each other – dang it was so damn fun!
I would watch her out of the corner of my eye and every now and then I’d catch her looking at me. ROAR!!!! Sometimes I’d look away as though my eyes just happened to land there; other times I’d lock eyes with her and we’d both smile BIG.
And yes, I talked with her. Twice. The first time was when I got my drink. I talked to her again for a few minutes before leaving. I’m pretty sure her co-workers were giving her shit over the headset since she was supposed to be working because we suddenly had to cut our conversation short. I can say 100% this is the first time I’ve ever gotten a girl in trouble because I was flirting with her. DEFINITELY a first for me – the me who used to PMO would never have been capable of this. I’m not jumping in to anything, but I am looking forward to the next time I see her. She’s in grad school too, so I think we’ll have some stuff in common to talk about.
Although I’ve been
somewhathighly skeptical about these alleged latent superpowers that rebooting can awaken, today I became aware of those superpowers. Needless to say, I am very thankful my reboot has forced me out of my self-medicated, self-lobotomized state and given me motivation to be social while bringing me up to an emotional level where it’s possible to appreciate and enjoy something as simple as smiling at and being smiled at by a girl.THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN PORN!!!
And there’s no way in hell I’m going back.
Benefit of No-Fap: approaching girls becomes much easier.
Short story: Fapper for about 7 years. Always got anxious and nervous around girls. I could not believe the the benefits other users were claiming about NoFap. Decided to give NoFap as an experiment. Also read Seddit during this. About 1 week in, I could approach girls and talk to them quite easily. Mind you, I’m not very attractive and a timid guy. Could make them laugh and have them be comfortable around me. Didn’t ask for numbers though…just made small talk and building my “seducer” skills. Relapsed yesterday, and today, saw two girls I wanted to approach, but couldn’t find the words or openings to use. No-fap-me could have just walked up there and be a boss. This shit works. Better posture, more energy, more confidence, and more inner peace. Though…not without some anxiety issues, head-aches and serious self-battles. No more fapping from now on! I’m gonna a badass.
No porn watched. Had 3-4 ejaculations last month. No masturbation, they were from wet dreams and one from just fantasizing. Yes, I got very hard and horny, and being able to achieve orgasm by no touch almost made me cry in happiness! My biggest win so far is that I don’t really have any urge to watch porn.
I have more time to decide where my life is headed, and the energy goes to dating girls (more girls during 90 days than whole my life!). I find real girls more attractive (instead getting turned on by 2D images). I know now that my erection will depend on social issues, nervousness etc. and for that I try to work, eat, exercise and sleep correctly. 90 days was worth it, and I will continue this. Gained more insight that this is totally fixable, and I feel at least half way through.
How NoFap changed my life : If you still have doubts, read this.
Who am I? Until a month ago, I was the typical average Joe in regards of Porn and Fap: Addicted to internet porn, I was consuming it at least once a day and, of course, fapping every day. Average good looking guy, single, 30 years old, good job. When I was motivated, I could have a great deal of success with women. The key words here are: “when I was motivated”.
Frankly, I had no idea of the effects of mass porn on me. Then I found nofap on reddit. Read it all. Read it again. And start a nofap / noporn month. After 30 days, the consequences are so great that I have to share them with you.
After 5 or 6 days, I realized that the pressure I felt was not something bad: It was energy. It was motivation – not only sexual, put pure genuine everyday’s life motivation. I flet that every beautiful girl I saw was in my range. My eye contacts with girls was sharp. Smiling to them became normal. The day after in the subway, I smiled at a beautiful tall darkhair girl. She came to see me, asking me where I studied. She appartently saw me at University few years ago. Guess what: Phone number.
It now has been 30 days with no fap / porn and I’ve never felt more confident in my life. And the results are there. All this is not theoretical. I met more girls in the last month that in the last year and you know why ? Because it’s the only option. Because I now know I have nothing to loose.
Bottom line: Guys: Stop wasting your sexual energy on porn and fap. You just can’t imagine what’s hidding behind it. Most girls will confirm the following principle: they prefer confidence and humor than appearence. You think you’re not sexy enough to experience what I just did ? You – are – wrong. Try it. It is in you. Now I know it.
So instead of spending nights on youporn, you go outside and experience things about yourself you didn’t think possible. From a guy who is so thankful of the nofap reddit page that he had to share the good news.
I think I kind of know how you feel. The first two weeks were great, I felt a lot more energetic, my OCD and social anxiety were getting a lot better, then it plateaued. Things didn’t go back to the way they were, they just stopped getting better. I don’t care though, after years of fighting anxiety any way I could think of this is the only thing that’s making an actual difference. My voice is louder, I can talk to people even if I get nervous instead of becoming completely paralyzed.
It’s also helped me reevaluate where I am in life, which hasn’t been easy. For the last decade I’ve been in a relationship with someone who… it’s like we’ve always been best friends, but the sex has always been very complicated for her let’s just say. It made me realize how much I was dependent on porn and masturbation to make things work, which made me very angry and depressed when I realized it.
Since I started nofap we’ve had sex once. It made me realize just how little of a sex life outside porn I ever really had. So now I’m doing hard mode. It’s going well so far and I hope it’ll hold. She knows I’m doing this, and the longer we’re going without having sex and me not masturbating it’s becoming clearer and clearer how much our sex life never really worked.
This is a good help, thank you man. Benefits are that I’m literally on a journey of overall personal development and I aspire for so much more now than just an ordinary life, I originally just intended to do NoFap and some exercise self help stuff, but it’s transformed above and beyond. My confidence and social skills have gotten a lot better, my anxiety is little to none. Seriously NoFap does work.
Hi bros. It’s been almost 3 months (with 3 relapses) nofapping now. LINK TO FULL POST – my experience with fapping and anxiety
I’m convinced that fapping and anxiety are closely linked. Why? 20 years of fapping proved me that fapping fucks with your brain so you become a zombie addict all your life.So here’s the story: since I kicked fapping from my life, I have this overwhelming feeling of well being, general confidence and happiness.
I’ve been eating healthy, doing sport and improving my pro skills. It is fair to think that those are the main reasons why I feel this way. Well, I’m 100% positive that they play a minor role in this story.
To prove that, I have to go back 6 years in my life. I was in my mid-20’s. I had the hottest girl on earth, was successful at work and was very fit. Me self confidence was peaking at the highest level of my life. Of course I didn’t know anything about nofap.
Back then, I was addicted to PMO. And although I felt great at times, it was more like a roller coaster than an stable feeling. Right now, I’m in peace with life. I feel balance. Back then, I was either extremely happy or extremely sad. And that’s because fapping was messing with my mind to make sure I will be feeding the addiction for years to come.
A couple of years after the high period, you would find me alone and miserable. No girlfriend, some problems going on and highly addicted to PMO. My life would consist of a void work-eat-fap-sleep cycle that threw me deep into the pit of human misery.
In this period, I was a really troubled guy. Somehow PMO managed to take over my nofap time to change my perception of life. I used to see all my wrongs as a person and not a single right. Depressed and miserable, my addiction lead me to fall into the darker deeps of extreme sexual behaviour (not gonna give details but let’s say it was stuff waaay out of the normal spectrum).
During that time, I had this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Always worried about the future. I used to over-think problems and ruminate for hours. Social Anxiety. Erectile disfunction. Unable to share intimacy with anybody. I felt powerless, miserable and sad … probably the saddest guy on earth. A victim of an unfair world.
Fortunately, living for a couple of years in that terrible state gave me the strength to find a solution to fix myself. That solution came in the form of zillions of self help material. Self-esteem, social skills, mental tricks to overcome anxiety… That material was useful but there was something still missing. Something that was preventing me from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. That was fapping.
Yes my dear bros. Fapping was this fucking huge obstacle in the middle of my road to happiness. Since I stopped it, all the sadness, anxiety, doubts and fears about myself and the future are FUCKING GONE.
As I said at the beginning, I didn’t want to jump into conclusions too fast. I didn’t want to be that guy that nofapped for 2 days and posts “OMG I can fly now!”. I think that 3 months are enough time to claim that nofapping cured my social anxiety, my chronic low self esteem and my worries and fears about the future. Bear in mind that I’ve been addicted for 20 years.
It is fapping, I’m sure. During my binges I would go to work thinking that nobody liked me, fearful to express my opinions, and procrastinating like a bitch. Now I’m friends with almost everybody, stand my personal and pro boundaries openly and perform like a star.
Somehow when you are so addicted (I was for 20 years), your brain triggers your anxiety levels so your whole life gravitates around coming home at night and choking the duck’s neck for hours. Fapping makes you feel stressed so you stop feeling that pain when you fap.
These are my greatest two revelations learned from nofap so far:
1) Fapping gives you extra stress and anxiety so you need to relieve it (stress-fap cycle).
2) Fapping eats a fucking huuuuge amount of time in your life. Seriously dude. In money terms, I’d say that fapping was a 60% tax on my salary. The number of things that I can do now with my free time is amazing.
Sorry for the wall of text and thank you for making a better self out of me. You guys fucking rock.
TL;DL: Fapping gives you a hell of anxiety when you are addicted to it. It also eats a lot of time. Stop your addiction now!
GUY 2:
Great stuff here. I’m only a little ways in and can start to feel exactly what you’ve described.
GUY 3:
I will also explain my situation with anxiety and fapping once I hit 90 days.
I’m doing this because I had my suspicions that over masturbation was having something to do with the way my brain was functioning (not functioning).
I’m almost sure masturbation leads to anxiety/chronic anxiety on people who are predisposed to it. Like an addict, you are altering your brain chemistry with over masturbation after all.
GUY 4:
My anxiety levels have dropped like absolutely no other, almost straight away.
GUY 5:
You really don’t realize how real and detrimental this is until you escape from it.
GUY 6:
Man this is exactly my story! I’m in my early 30’s, been addicted for 20 years, and always felt like an inferior scared little bitch. I’ve tried for years to overcome my anxiety, hit the gym like a mad man, got big, read tons of self help books, but still I had no power. I knew the theory behind being confident, but could never carry it out because I was fapping for hours every night before bed. Never knew this was the root cause. I’m not as far along as you, but damn I’m already feeling some of the benefits. Can’t wait till I kick this thing for good!
GUY 7:
I feel this anti-anxiety effect to, in the moment. I’m a bit scared that it may go away if I’m getting accustomed to it, because it really feels great in the moment. Did it stay with you continuously, or did it come and go (depending on horniness)?
When fapping I had big mood swings, sometime I was feeling quite good, sometimes I was feeling depressed and anxious. Did this happen to you too and did it decrease with nofap?
GUY 8:
The anxiety couldn’t be more true, thats one of the worst things I hated about PMO. I would feel anxious for no reason even if I didn’t feel like fapping. Starting to feel much better.
GUY 9:
Thank you so much for posting this. The correlation between PMO fapping and anxiety is obvious once you hit a solid nofap streak.
What’s changed? Well, a lot. Before, I was living worst life I can image. Not having showers, because I was spending all day playing computer games, and skipping meals as well or eating only junk food. I didn’t want to even have a sunlight in my room, so I could masturbate whenever I wanted. Although i had some friends, I wasn’t participating in parties etc. Just spending my entire day in my room doing unproductive things. After few weeks things changed, I started caring about dressing well, having good hygiene, cleaning my room. This proved to me no-fap is working, so I was more motivated to stay away from PMO. Improved confidence? Fuck yeah, it has improved a lot. Started going to gym and changed eating habits. Quit playing video games, so I can do productive things while using computer. I feel more emotionally stable, not having mood swings like before. I can concentrate a lot easier now and my memory has improved.However, it is not like I woke up some day and just started doing these things. I still sometimes procrastinate in front of computer, have bad days and don’t want to do anything. But the difference is that now I can force myself to do anything, because that energy is in me. I have still a lot of work to get done. It’s just a beginning to a better life.
I have been doing no pmo for the last month and my life has improved so much. My anxiety has been cured, I am so much more social, I have been flirting with girls. and my life has been all round great. link
I’ve had suicidal depression and terrible social anxiety where I couldn’t even go out of the house. After two years of nofap I can 100% say that pmo is the no. 1 reason for this in my case at least. It’s been a hell of a ride so far. All these years where I wondered wtf is wrong with me, taking pills that don’t help. Good that I know it now and I’m not planning to ever go back.
41 Days in and i’m slowly starting to get a grip on life and myself
I feel so much more contempt with life, I am nowhere near depressed and filled with self-pity as I was last month. I am able to talk to girls the same way I talk to other guys and my ability to be social and face my fears has been significally increased.
I think that nofap has enabled me to life my life to the fullest again, I believe there is still a long road of nofap ahead of me but I am doing awesome and all these improvements let me wake up in the morning filled with joy and energy to face a new day.
Some of my archievements so far:
- Build up the courage to ask a girl out and went on a date twice (first date in 5 years).
- Have had girls greet me on the street because I am able to keep eye contact and smiling without anxiety building up.
- For some reason I am much more alert in class and can follow all the material
- I don’t feel the need to get high, pop pills or get drunk because I am not as depressed anymore
- I am much more comfortable with defeat and failures
- I have a lot of confidence, just yesterday I was able to sit down next to a girl in the bus I knew from my old school and was able to talk to her for almost 30 mins before I had to get off. My confidence at times really makes me want to say (wow) out loud.
I didn’t turn into Superman, but I definitely felt like him on some really euphoric days, you feel an incredible surge of energy and confidence like you’ve just levelled up.
Some benefits I have noticed:
- More confident, social, and extraverted. More than I would have been during PMO. Higher self-esteem. Met more friends. Holding conversations better.
- Better focus/concentration/memory. Also more productive. Remember when you were a kid and things just clicked much easier? That’s coming back, at least for me.
- Higher baseline emotional state. I’m much happier, and those things that make me unhappy I can tell are only temporary and don’t bring me down too much. No more anxiety or depression.
- More energy. I’m not tired before the end of the day. I’m not caffeine dependant any more. I’m more eager to exercise and eat right.
- Much more attracted to a wider variety of women
90 days and what do O have to say?
That I have come to the conclusion that I used masturbation as a tool to cope with depression. That I am now much happier than I was 3 months ago. Beyond that, I do not have anything to say that hasn’t been said before. I would just like to thank all you guys and gals for being such a great community
I actually started getting really depressed recently, i didn’t link it to fapping at the time but now i realize that they were directly linked – Link
1 YEAR OF UPS AND DOWNS PART 2
The funny thing is that even though I haven’t made a straight month or even 90 days or year without the old behaviour, the benefits I’ve felt have been possibly the most transformative change that I’ve made in my life.
- focus – after about 2 days after each relapse, my focus becomes clearer and it’s so much easier not to wander off into a daydream. In conversation I can concentrate on what people are saying and now I can actually read more than a sentence without getting distracted. This helps with my work, study, relationships, socializing and anything with a purpose.
- Confidence – this is truly the most important benefit for me as my interactions with women had been poor. I can now make witty conversation with random women in the street. Let’s put this into perspective. At November 2011, it would take me a very long time to ask a good looking girl for directions in the “mall” as a way to desensitize myself to approaching women. Now, it’s a laughable interaction that wouldn’t change my heartbeat one bit. Even 10 days into the first attempt I was starting conversations with women (not to pick-up, but just for fun). I remember so vividly how proud of myself I was. This is one of my favourite changes.
- Inferiority – no guy likes to feel inferior to other guys and I noticed this benefit more by my feelings of inferiority returning after a relapse. This doesn’t need much explanation and it’s also harder to explain. After a lapse, I feel more needy, emotional, sensitive etc. and after a week of abstinence start to feel the reverse….like a man. The term may be subjective and the effects less quantifiable but you notice it in a change of the automatic ways that the mind perceives things. For example, when you’re sitting opposite a cute girl on the train and an alpha male type of guy comes on a sits next to you. Inferiority feelings are dramatically less and I’d feel less fearful.
- Increased desire to socialize – probably because I’m not getting my oxytocin from ejaculating to porn, I start to desire to socialize and guess what…when you want to talk to people, they actually like it (yeh, go figure). The number of times I get a phone call or txt could definitely correlate with my fapping if I recorded it. Whenever I had a binge, I’d not care about anyone in the world for a few days. What’s funny is that during PMO and after relapse, I felt incredibly lonely yet at the same time I didn’t want to know or care about anyone. I would sit at work or family dinners and just see people as so irrelevant yet cry in my room for feeling so lonely. During abstinence the reverse happens; even though I want to connect more, I don’t feel as lonely. This is VERY strange, so beautiful and very noticeable from the inside out.
Ever since I took a tech abstinence for the last 51 days (including no PMO) my anxiety, and OCD, and ADD like symptoms have vanished. Each week passing there have been ups and downs(depression and boredom) but overall it just gets BETTER
I’m getting the grasp of becoming a man spending less time behind the screen, hitting the gym, talking to everyone I see. I can do this and I EXUDE masculine energy.
90 days, I ain’t stepping off this train any time soon!
My life has changed from procrastination to a good structure of willpower, it’s far from perfect but at least I have beaten social anxiety and confidence problems.
I can’t remember who recommended me here, but please keep it up because masturbation to porn is still seen as not a problem for many people.
All I can say is avoiding to PMO (MO by itself too) have led to a plethra of benefits that werent earned through task specific practice. Memory (always had a good one) but Abstaining put it through the roof: could enter a room of 15 people and learn+ recall specifically all their phone numbers in under 5 min. GPA 4. Social anxiety and bs negative thinking —-> out with the trash.
Sensitivity and motivation rises like the sun without falling like the moon. Erection with girls….-Massive (can even self-induce while thinking about girls in winter clothing). Motivation for working out, going out, ability to take care of dorm cleaning, laughter, smiling, positivity a result of training other than abstinence, no. Ability to sleep like a baby and wake alert without caffeine stimulation ( though I do indulge in coffee due to the beneficial acquired taste).
Its hard to ignore the correlation between all these harmonious benefits and the strict PMO abstinence. Reply #23
In terms of relationships, and being able to communicate with people, I am so much more confident, it’s ridiculous.
My problems now aren’tto do with approaching people, or getting really intimate with them. Myonly problem is getting them into bed. That’s because I’m a virgin. It’s not that I’m consciously afraid of getting into bed with someone, it’s just when we’re in the moment, I freak out. Or I forget what’s going on, and snap out of the state I’m in.
In terms of brain fog, anxiety and depression; I can’t really remember the person who I used to be.
My personality due to this has been.. amazing. i love my confidence, the way i act, everything about my self really. My favorite aspect is I don’t really care what anybody thinks of me. I have a great job, I lost my virginity about 200 days in.
Im now starting week two with a load of confidence rather than a fap. There have been several instances this weekend where I’ve surprised myself with confident responses in social situations. The fog is being lifted!
My life is changed and i LOVE IT.
Instead of fapping and spending all my free time on Netflix and PlayStation I started working out 2-3 hours every day and eat healthy. I even plan to start a fitness channel on YouTube and post a 30 day transformation video there!
I also suffered from depression, social anxiety & panic attacks, self harm, Suicidal thoughts and other things before. I couldn’t even go to a store because i was so scared of people. I couldn’t talk to people, girls, even boys, not even digitally ( call, voice chat).
I completely stopped self harming, am more positive about life and my future, and feel relatively confident. I joined multiple voice chats with 5 complete strangers, and while I was still very awkward, I DID IT!! I even smiled at a girl in the gym. i probably looked like a retard but i don’t even care. I feel confident and generally better than ever, and all this on day 10. I can’t wait to see day 100.
My experience as a depressed introvert
Yesterday I went to a party on which I knew only 1 person. Some random situations that happened put into text:
- Able to add a comment in the middle of a conversation with like 10 strangers directly looking at me and looking them in the eyes as I was telling my story. I could feel they were enjoying the way I talked and they didn’t take the eyes off me (I noticed 1 girl even kept staring at me like deamdreaming after I finished talking). Usually I would be silent and try to talk to the person just besides me if anything, “to not be found as the weirdo I am”.
- Able to have a conversation with a girl like I was talking to one of my mates. Usually I would feel pressured to have sex or to be liked by every woman I meet in my life. They are just persons with whom I can connect based on interests and chemistry, just like I do with other men.
- No more thoughts of “Am I ruining the party for everyone? I think they dont like me. I’m sure they all think I am weird. I should leave” when there is a silence in the conversation or when people stop laughing for some minutes or something like this.
- Way less selfconcious about my looks. I take care of myself and try to improve myself every day but I care way less about that small stupid belly fat that is so hard to get rid of. Usually the thought of someone thinking I am not fit would stay in my head for hours, increasing my anxiety.
- I thought a couple of girls were really good looking and interesting. I discovered later the boyfriends were there. My good mood did not change. Usually I would immediately start comparing myself to their boyfriends, usually to my detriment, leading to more depressive thoughts. Or I would think I was better than them and then the feeling would be anger (“why is she with him and not with me?”)
These are just some situations from yesterday’s night worth mentioning for someone struggling with anxiety, depression, etc. But my biggest one and the one I like the most is being able to share the happiness of the people around me, old friends and new connections. I have not found love yet but I am happy when I meet happy couples, I am not rich but I am happy when I meet people with money, I don’t have many friends but I am happy for those who have lots, this could go on forever.
NoFap is real, you will be a healthier person mentally and physically. And humans are naturally inclined to like the healthiest even if they don’t understand why they like you within the first 5 minutes of knowing each other. Keep at it and you will find friends, love and all the good things that come from honest cooperation with your fellow humans.
Starting Nofap as of now, realised most of the problems in my life are to do with the effects of PMO
So, after 85 days of not fapping after being a multiple fap per day addict for many years… I can say partaking in nofap has been the best decision I have made in my life
Improvement: Social anxiety improved DRASTICALLY–includes confidence, eye contact, comfort interacting, smoothness, etc
-More energy in general
-Clearer, sharper mind, more concentration
-More vibrant looking face
-Depression alleviated
-Desire to interact with women
-Boners are back!!
I decided to do nofap because of depression, brain fog, social anxiety, low energy, and porn induced ED. I went into it with high expectations, and those expectations were surpassed. I am continuing to make hugely profound progress in all these areas, especially social anxiety.
Today, at the age of 22, was the first time in my life I texted a girl and asked her to hang out with me one on one. Girls have always shown interest in me in the past, but I have always been to socially inept to hang out or go on dates. I just never felt comfortable enough to do it. I thought I never would. Today I hit up this cute girl who has been interested in me and we went hot tubbing.
60 Days, having an great time, thanks guys.
There’s no reason to let up. After a period of incredible energy and confidence in the first month and shortly after, much of those superpowers faded, though the sense of contentment and calm I had stayed, as did the skills I had learned over time in dealing with all of the emotional changes.
My hypothesis is that as you follow the road to recovery, your emotions will hit incredible highs and incredible lows while your body tries to find a steady state. I suspect it will take between 3 and 5 months to find that steady state, and I’m willing to give this experiment 6 months in the hopes of improvement. That being said, I have already seen improvements.
My social skills have returned, I have more friends, and I’m considerably more persuasive and calm in social situations. My expectations of what will happen in any given scenario are more in line with reality, and my daydreaming, which was rampant before, has reduced.
There are a considerable number of posts regarding quitting, the ineffectiveness of the program, or posts full of grief and shame. I suspect these (the ones not made by trolls) are a result of a low dip in emotions. There’s no need to get mad at these community members, they’re no more in control than you were. They are conducting their own experiment, no need for us to feel compelled to either insult, or follow, their example.
I stopped fapping just over one month ago and my life has drastically transformed. I tried quitting for years but never stuck to it so one day I decided I might as well legitimately try and see what happens.
For the past year or so I was suffering from what I thought was social anxiety but I’ve now realized that it was actually the fapping. It consumes your mind and even if you don’t think it affects your daily life, it really does. This leads me to my current situation. When I started school this year I was crushing really hard on this girl but a month went by and I never talked to her.
When i quit fapping, four days later I talked to her for the first time because I was no longer scared. Now over one month later we’re together and things are amazing. I am no longer scared of everything and am rapidly gaining friends. If you’re on the fence about quitting I suggest you do and trust me if you stick to it, you will gain willpower. The hardest part is the first few weeks but honestly think about it, things can only get better.
I feel like a beast thanks to nofap! (Story) Not sure if I should post to /r/Prorevenge
I have just finished one month of nofap. The support that is on this site is amazing. I feel really great now. Here are some outcomes that I feel came from nofap.
• Girls are getting more attracted to me • I have put on more muscle • I have strengthened bonds with my friends • My voice has gotten a lot deeper 🙂
Anyways here is the story:
During school before I started nofap, I was that semi-rich-kid that always got picked on for being so. I was used to it but there were these three guys that always would try to hurt me in any ways possible that I absolutely hated. They would put mud on my shoes, Try to humiliate me by spreading rumors, etc. I got sick of it so I started nofap because I thought it was a good thing to do for myself but I didnt know how right I was. (You guys read the stuff above) Anyways just this afternoon I ran into those three shitbags at the beach. They started doing their usual shit.. Alright then. But during this moment. I realized how much I changed. I didnt feel like the small kid that got bullied anymore. I felt like a fucking beast. They took swings at me, I took swings at them. It was one on three. Anyways their trip to the beach ended with serious injuries and my trip ended with a less injuries, confidence boost, and a realization of knowing how well I could fight.
Edit: Im fourteen right now. And my friend actually caught everything on tape. But sorry for the weird writing, Im really excited! Thanks.
I’m kicking Social Anxiety’s ass
This time last year I had huge struggles holding a conversation with anyone; especially strangers, this time last year I was set on being a construction worker or laborer for the rest of my life because I just couldn’t handle the social anxiety. I went to my university therapist and broke down in her office crying because of my social anxiety. I was an absolute mess! After about 9 months of nofap, a bunch of streaks including a 250 day streak; I can say that I am finally winning the fight against my social anxiety. My anxiety is not 100 percent gone yet, but its getting there. I now have the courage to go back to school in the fall. I just started a job at a gym as a marketer/sales associate, which is nothing but talking to people, and presenting what our gym does to people all day.
Last year I would not of been physically capable of doing this job I’m doing. Its still not easy but I can do it adequately. Which I am so proud of. The main reason I wanted this job so bad is because I know doing this job for a while will completely get rid of the last little bit of anxiety I have left.
Day 40, Nofap has made me a changed man
Little background info, I’m 20 years old and a junior in college. For the longest time I struggled with social anxiety. I was always super awkward around people (girls especially). But the past week my confidence has skyrocketed so I decided to go talk to some girls on campus I found attractive. In a couple days I managed to get 7 different girls numbers. I even invited a girl over my apartment and at first we just talked for a couple hours and then we went on to make out for awhile; she actually initiated it believe it or not. But when we were talking words were coming to me so fast like never before. I was 0% awkward and i had a wonderful time. For the first time in my life I feel like I’m actually living me life instead of watching it pass by. I hope this post motivates someone else like many of your posts have motivated me. Thank you to this whole community, I never could have gotten this far without you guys.
Everybody heard this NoFap benefit , but I still want to remention it . .
It makes it so easy to connect , communicate and spend a good time with girls without being nervous , learning to really ENJOY the conversation , not trying to HOLD it , it flows so easy and it feels sooo good , even first date goes so easily . . . NoFap is the best thing I found so far , thank you guys and I’m glad that more and more of young guys like me are opening their eyes and turning it off porn , good luck everybody and stay strong ! ! ! :)))
Does anyone else feels more… manly?
I’ve been around NoFap for like a month. I deleted all the pr0n and i keep a journal where i gather some notes.
One of the things that i’v noticed, and i want to ask you Fapstronauts about it… is that i feel more of a Man, and by “Man” i mean more rough, more ready to battle, i sometimes feel like my gonads have come out of his hiding place and step right into the shit when they have to. Now i’m more willing to confront anyone or anything, whereas my former self (that PMO addict) just chickened out every time.
Do you feel the same, fellow Fapstronauts?
GUY 2)
Hell yeah I have! My man levels have been shooting through the roofs lately. I know exactly how you feel. Before, my nads would simply shrink away from any social confrontations if I could help it. Now they’re out and about having a good time being social dinosaurs. It’s great you feel this way though. Kudos!
looking back on social anxiety
My journey to day 50 has been pretty much as good for me as a lot of the posts I’ve read here show it has been for others, and I’ve read a lot of posts here over those 50 days! I began nofap after watching the TEDx video. I’ve had great days (weeks even) where I’v felt like I could take on the whole world, I’ve had a week where I felt flat and empty, I’ve had a week of an anxious waiting feeling that wasn’t particularly nice. On the whole though it has been amazingly positive in all aspects of my life both at work, in studying and in personal interactions.
One thing is, though, that all the good changes happen so gradually (after the rush of changes in the first week or two) that it’s hard to see that I am still constantly changing. But today I had a memory that made me aware just how big the change is.
Reading another post I suddenly remembered that some weekends I used to force myself to leave the house just so that I could be someplace with people, even though I wouldn’t have to talk to them any more than to buy something at a shop or sit near people in a library. This I always saw as a big achievement because of the level of fear I had to combat. I pretty much know where the fear comes from but don’t feel ready to share that yet, besides it’s from long ago and is it really useful to try and understand everything in life, isn’t it better to sometimes just let go and move forward if you can?
Looking back now I can’t believe how separated from society I had become, how much social anxiety totally controlled and defined who I was. Although I still don’t get out much on the weekends that extreme level of social anxiety has totally gone (although writing about it now is bringing the feeling back a little strangely).
For me social anxiety is mainly present in unstructured or unorganised situations. I have no problem at work or in a club situation for example, when I have something to do whilst I am interacting, but take me out of that context and I am jelly 🙂 but that is changing now, slowly,
Dresdin
Same here. Exactly the same here. I’ve seen the social anxiety disappear almost completely. The last stronghold is that totally unstructured social gathering. Once we get past that, we’ll be all good
I pretty much know where the fear comes from but don’t feel ready to share that yet, besides it’s from long agoI too have some flashbacks about the roots of my anxiety and it is all coming together like pieces of puzzle now… Fuck I have/had a lot of shit going on in my life
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