Cyber-porn dependence: voices of distress in an Italian internet self-help community (2009)

YBOP comments: This paper was only brought to our attention recently by a young researcher. It’s fascinating because it describes all the same kinds of escalation and distress we (and others) have been documenting for years, and which a vocal pack of sexologists incomprehensibly deny. See excerpts below Abstract. (And don’t miss newer Polish research confirming symptoms in today’s users.)

Cavaglion, Gabriel.

International journal of mental health and addiction 7, no. 2 (2009): 295-310.

Abstract

This study analyzes narratives of cyber-porn users and defines major patterns of distress as self-reported by contributors to a self-help group in the Internet. It applies narrative analysis methodology to 2000 messages sent by 302 members of an Italian self-help Internet community for cyber-porn dependents (noallapornodipendenza). This paper focuses directly on the narratives of cyber-porn dependents, as they define themselves to analyze the major patterns of distress and characterize the extent and manifestations of their self-defined dysfunction. According to these testimonials in the collected messages, we should suggest that cyber-porn dependence is for many a real mental disorder that can have destructive implications for personal well-being, social adaptation, work, sex life and family relations.

Keywords: Cyber-pornography Internet sexual dependence Self-help groups.

Relevant excerpts:

This study reports on a narrative analysis of two thousand messages written by 302 members of an Italian self-help group for cyberdependents (noallapornodipendenza). It sampled 400 messages from each year (2003–2007). Between 30–50 messages each month of each year were analyzed.

For many their condition is reminiscent of an addicted escalation with new levels of tolerance. Many of them in fact search for increasingly more explicit, bizarre and violent images, bestiality included (“devorivivere” #2097).

Many members complain about increased impotence and lack of ejaculation (“clockwork” #5020), feeling in their real life like “a dead man walking” (“vivalavita” #5014). The following example concretizes their perceptions (“sul” #4411):

My erotic relation with my spouse was disappointing….With the opportunity to be contacted on-line, I started to surf… Later I started to chat on eroticism… I kept my wife out of all this… In the meanwhile, other women appeared on the scene… from an exciting playful game, in one year my visits to erotic chat rooms became a real obsession, I stayed up at night… masturbating in front of the PC. I used to work during the day and masturbate at night… My work started to be affected… I was tired in the daytime…My wife caught me….She did not leave me… but she will never forget… I have betrayed and humiliated her; I have shared my intimacy in such an obscene way with strangers…

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There were also cases in this group of compulsive masturbation, addiction tolerance, combined with a severe isolation from real life. Many of these participants can be defined as “at-risk users/stress reactive types” (Cooper et al. 1999b, p. 90). The following case of severe addiction of a young adult is not unusual (“filippo” #4754):

Since I installed my Internet, chatting and browsing porn videos has been my only occupation during the day. I start the morning by visiting news… in the forum, then I start to download. I have states of euphoria when my browsing is fast and of mild depression when there is nothing new. In the afternoon, it is the same… in the evening I select the best material for my archive and delete everything I don’t need… A good day or a bad one depends upon the number of megabytes I am able to download. All this has ruined my social life. The only positive point is that I have a girlfriend… but with her I almost always fake my orgasm, or I fake pains justifying my [giving up and] going back to my screen. Today I don’t work, I quit two jobs because they didn’t give me enough time to spend in front of the screen…

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As stressed in the introduction, one of the most troubling ramifications on the interpersonal level stems from the large amount of time spent on the computer, which becomes detrimental at the workplace (Cooper et al. 2002). Many surfers claim they experience addiction withdrawal at work or at home that usually manifests itself as physical tiredness and mental irritability (“lvbenci” #4187). For others it appears more like the Gestalt paraphrase of unfinished business: “I cannot finish my studies” (“mandriano” #2559); “I cannot submit my dissertation” (“devovivere” #3600); “I am all dried up” (“bruja” #2904); “Today I do not have other interests, I don’t study anymore, I work the minimum” (“fellos” #94). Many surfers talked about a sense of existential lethargy, powerlessness and helplessness: “I am spineless” (“mandriano” #2559). This existential attitude to time and life is reminiscent of the following passage by Erich Fromm (cited in von Franz 2000, p.64):

This attitude is consistent with the fact that many participants expressed a general devaluation of any real woman, whom they perceived as “less attractive than any surrogate porno star” (“ap_ibiza” #4200). Many women who sent messages to the site expressed a similar feeling that they were living with an apathetic, aloof, isolated man who did not express any affection to them as a person or show sexual interest in their mostly imperfect bodies (see discussion in Schneider 2000a, b).

Sexual Problems

Many participants stated that they usually spend hours looking at and collecting pictures and movies holding their erect penis in their hand, unable to ejaculate, waiting for the ultimate, extreme image to release the tension. For many the final ejaculation puts an end to their torture (supplizio) (“incercadiliberta” #5026). But for others masturbation is no longer the final goal. For example the compulsive collection of movies and pictures itself becomes the ultimate goal of pleasure (“paneintegrale” #5686):….

Problems in heterosexual relations are more than frequent. People complain they have erection problems (“nick” #19), lack of sexual relations with their spouses (“carlomiglio” #6), lack of interest in sexual intercourse, feeling like a person who has eaten hot, spicy food, and consequently cannot eat ordinary food (“enr65a” #205). In many cases, as also reported by spouses of cyber dependents, there are indications of male orgasmic disorder with the inability to ejaculate during intercourse. This sense of desensitization in sexual relationships is well expressed in the following passage (“vivaleiene” #6019):

Last week I had an intimate relation with my girlfriend; nothing bad at all, despite the fact after the first kiss I didn’t feel any sensation. We didn’t finish the copulation because I didn’t want to.

Many participants expressed their real interest in “chatting on line” or “telematic contact” instead of physical touch (“duke” #12580), and a pervasive and unpleasant presence of pornographic flashbacks in their mind, during sleep and during sexual intercourse (“vincenzo” #12269).

As stressed, the claim of a real sexual dysfunction is echoed by many testimonials from female partners. But also forms of collusion and contamination appear in these narratives. Here are a few of the most striking comments of these female partners:

Making love is always poisoned by these stories, which I also see on the Web. Yesterday we made love without these stories but he did not have any passion, I felt it. I felt distressed, the pictures he showed me days before were popping up in my mind. I felt obliged to be like those women, to do what they do, otherwise I had the feeling I would not satisfy my man… I am afraid that we will never be able to make love without other thoughts (“Laura ballarin”).

And also:

Our way to make love is a real imitation of a pair of actors in the most obscene porn movie, there is no more tenderness, there is no more total contact of the bodies, only genitals, there is never a kiss or a hug (“Lucia gavino”).

Another woman states:

I am afraid that when he finally will get closer to me again, he will have all that garbage in his mind, and it will happen to me too (in an exciting and disgusting sense), this will happen because after I discovered his PC-archived images, sometimes I have flashbacks, I see them as if they are pasted in front of me, in such a vivid and disgusting way, will these images persecute me in my most intimate moments forever? (“pornobasta0505”).

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Discussion

Most of the messages sent to the Italian self help group do indicate the presence of pathology by those participants, according to the model of salience (in real life), mood modification, tolerance, withdrawal symptoms and interpersonal conflict, a diagnostic model developed by Griffiths (2004).

Moreover, the strict definition of pathology, as discussed in the DSM lists many of the reported features of distress, including disability and impairment in one or more areas of functioning, significantly increased risk of suffering and pain, and, more importantly, partial or total loss of freedom. According to scholars who tried to define the essence of psychopathology, if there is some personal discomfort, if people are distressed over their thoughts or behavior, there is a pathology (see discussion in Bootzin et al. 1993). Moreover, if a person manifests maladaptive behavior and is not able to meet the demands of his life, namely, hold down a job, deal with friends and family, pay the bills on time and the like, this pattern is also characteristic of abnormal behavior. Thus cyber-porn dependence, as reported by Italian participants in the self-help group, may indicate a maladaptive behavior which interferes with functioning and is self-defeating, since its outcomes, which are longlasting and severe, impinge on the continued well-being of the individual and that of the human community of which the individual is a member (see discussion in Carson et al. 1999).

In conclusion we should stress again that these results can be interpreted with some caution, because of the nature of the research and methodological. Further research is needed basing on a different and more empirically sophisticated methodology, and/ or basing on a follow up of the group and/or using a comparative analysis with similar groups in other western countries.

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