“Why am I so addicted to porn?”
Before you begin your rebooting process, you must first learn why you’re so damn addicted to Porn, Masturbation, and Orgasm (PMO). You must gain an understanding of your brain and must always remember that once you’re an addict, you’re always going to be an addict.
Visit https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/doing-what-you-evolved-to-do
Watch ALL the videos.
Good, your back. Now that was some intense stuff. After watching those videos you should now know that porn is lethal to the brain. If you don’t know this, GO BACK AND WATCH IT AGAIN!
“I want to quit PMO…FOREVER!”
Whoa, slow down there…grasshopper. I’ve got some more theory work for you before you begin abstaining. You need to prepare yourself because this will be the hardest battle you will ever face.
1. Why are you quitting porn?
This is important. You have to find a strong reason for quitting porn. A solid reason. What’s a solid reason you ask? A solid reason is one that is not affected by any factors e.g. location, time, mood, other addictions, people etc. Have as many reasons as you can but make sure you have a solid reason.
My solid reason is this: I want to be a man. Think James Bond. Calm and collected, an alpha male.
My other reasons: I want to FEEL emotions, I want to connect with people, I want to fall in love, I want spend the rest of my life with that one person…:) I could on forever.
Find yourself a journal and start writing down your reasons. I recommend that you DON’T use a book. Just in case it falls into the wrong hands. I use Springpad; there’s an app for Android phones, iPhone, iPad and for desktop computers, visit springpadit.com.
You need a solid reason because that’s your last line of defense and also the fuel that will keep you moving forward with your goal.
2. Destroy all porn/porn related items
This is also important. If you have a porn stash, delete it all PERMANENTLY. If you have any magazines that contain sexual themes, throw them away.
That money you saved up for any escorts, prostitutes, porn site subscriptions, donate it to charity or spend it somewhere else.
Get rid of the bookmarks of your porn sites, links to your favorite porn star etc.
DESTROY EVERYTHING IF YOU HAVE TO…within reason of course.
3. Triggers and Cues PART 1
Once you’ve started your reboot, you’re going to have MANY urges to relapse. It’s going to happen. But don’t worry, I’m here for you.
Us porn addicts have the toughest addiction to quit because sex is EVERYWHERE. TV, radio, Internet, the beach, billboards, your mind and even that old lady bending over to pick up her keys can trigger an urge. You have to remember this, because the odds are against us.
Here’s a list of things that will either cause or make you more vulnerable to urges
- Watching the ‘naughty’ channels on tv. Naughty, naughty. Just avoid those channels.
- Watching YouTube videos that you KNOW will contain something sexual. (women working out, yoga tutorials, rap videos, celebrities etc.) This was my number one cause of relapses.
- Searching for ‘wallpapers’. “I’m only searching for innocent wallpapers” you say, but we both know now this will end. From Cool wallpapers -> hot wallpapers -> bikini babes -> bikini babes with no bikinis -> porn. This is called
- ‘Edging’, it’s like being on a cliff edge and you keep inching closer and closer to the edge just to see down there….and BOOM! You’re falling, in this case RELAPSE.
- Erections. You wouldn’t want to waste an erection right? if you get an erection, stare at your penis and say this: “The penis is used for urinating and for SEXY TIME with a REAL PARTNER.”
- Mood. Notice how I didn’t “low mood”? I’ve relapsed on days where I felt really good and on days where I felt like life wasn’t worth it (yep, I’ve had suicidal thoughts). What ever mood you’re in, you have to remember that you quitting PMO and NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.
- Sleep. Sleep is damn important! Make sure you ALWAYS get enough sleep. Low sleep = low mood = low will power = higher risk of relapse. Big equation. If you’re sleepy, you better stay away from your house.
PART 2
You have to minimize your exposure to sexual themes. Here’s a few things you can do:
- Be on the lookout: awareness of triggers is key to success
- Sleep early: 10:00pm
- Exercise: Run or pump some iron. I prefer weight lifting, makes you look sexier and you’ll feel really good about yourself too.
- Socialize: I don’t care if it’s just a smile at a person walking past you or a deep conversation with a relative. We’re humans, we’re need to socialize. Porn drove us addicts to seclusion and loneliness. Porn feeds on loneliness. Make an effort, it’ll feel difficult and discomforting at first but over time, you’ll weird when you’re not socializing.
4. Stopping Urges
-Ok man…so what do I do if get an urge, huh?!
I am not a fan of will power and fighting urges with thy mind. I spent 2011 fighting urges with will power. You see the problem with fighting porn using your mind is that it relies on will power. Will power is not solid. Some days it’s strong and some days it’s weak, it requires work to strengthen will power. Will power is effective with weak urges but when it comes to moderate to EXTREME urges, will power is useless.
My theory is: urges come from within your mind. The mind is the urge’s home ground and the urge will always have the advantage.
So how do I stop urges? I use the one thing that’s available anytime: PAIN. There’s something special about pain and the brain. When I get an urge I bite the back of my lip with my front teeth. I bite hard. I bite harder and harder until the urge is COMPLETELY gone. After a 3-7 days of biting, the urges will become weaker and will stop. Yes, I’ll say it again, the urges WILL STOP.
Why does it work? (disclaimer: this all based on my experience and on my understanding of how the brain works from reading books and websites like yourbrainonporn.com and psychology today.)
It’s all about wiring and rewiring. To our brains, porn is good and pain is bad. By inducing pain whenever you get an urge, you’re telling your brain that porn = pain = bad. The more you do it, the more you’ll train your brain.
This method has worked effectively for me and I haven’t had urge to PMO since Day 4. (currently on Day 23).
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