“I am building some new platonic relationships with nice women of different ages: people I have met at networking events, clubs, and volunteering. I have been doing some volunteer counseling work once a week, and try to do at least one “random act of kindness” each day to a complete stranger, and this definitely helps bring a bit of balance.”
“I listen to music, read a good book and exercise three times a week, or watch a very funny stand up routine or movie. Laughter seems to really have a good effect on the brain. I guess what they say that “Laughter is the Best Medicine” is true.”
Yoga helps a lot to make myself feel good after feeling nervous and worried for the whole day.
Yoga has been very helpful lately. It get’s me out of the house and burn off some steam. Lot’s of beautiful women there too. Very beautiful women. Mmm…women. I’d highly recommend it for someone who needs something physical to do outside of the house.
Go take a hot bath, eat some chocolate, have some coffee, run a mile or two, play some guitar, read a good book, play with a cat. Do something which gets you in a good mood.
An animal behavior expert once pointed out that if you raise an animal’s dopamine artificially, it starts “seeking.” First it will eat and drink all it wants, but it’s still dissatisfied. So, it will start tearing up anything in the cage. Random seeking. Not unlike random clicking to new images. That’s what makes today’s porn so seductive. Seeking goes with dopamine. So does novelty. So does “surprising” or “unexpected.” Each “hit” is a tiny reward of dopamine in the brain – the message of which isn’t “satisfaction,” but rather, “keep going, satisfaction is j-u-s-t around the corner.” This unending form of enticing tension can leave you really edgy after a while if you don’t resolve it somehow.
Orgasm isn’t the only way, but when you’re on your own, it’s very tempting. Find the other ways. The things that release oxytocin seem to help the most. They counter that restlessness and reduce cravings. There’s a good list below, many of which research has actually shown do release oxytocin.
Again, clicking will just make you feel more dissatisfied, while an oxytocin-producing activity will actually ease your mind. If you keep experimenting with these concepts, after a while you’ll realize that “in 5 minutes I could feel better if I did X instead of Y. So if I’m antsy and edgy, I must WANT to be that way. Otherwise, I’d do something more soothing.” It’s very empowering to realize you can feel good simply by knowing which “keys” to press on your neurochemical keyboard.
- Smile…damnit. See Grin and bear it — smiling facilitates stress recovery
- Take a 30-minute walk each day while listening to music you enjoy
- Read inspiring materials
- Do yoga
- Take a walk in nature
- Do a random act of kindness
- Creativity, art, playing music, singing
- Take a warm bath
- Learn a new skill (juggling, a new language)
- Go for a swim
- Make a list of reason you have to be grateful, and add to it
- Release an old resentment by seeing it differently
- Safe touch (get a therapeutic massage, play with a pet)
- Listen to calming music
- Do something generous for someone else without telling them or expecting a reward
- Go for a bike ride
- Volunteer to walk dogs at an animal shelter
- Prepare some healthy food
- Write down some short-term goals
- Treat yourself to a therapeutic massage, a shiatsu massage, or a cranio-sacral therapy session
- Join an online forum and encourage others in their goals
- Visualize being too happy and busy to have time for porn
- Get more sleep
Here’s another guy’s list:
- Anything that helps us to relax and produce lots of oxytocin is good.
- Have a good conversation.
- Hug someone for 30 seconds.
- Pet a nice cat or dog for a while.
- Watch children playing. Better yet, play with them.
- Create something.
- Enjoy something that someone else created.
- Take a walk in the woods.
- Have a hot bath.
- Snuggle up in front a of a fire with a good book and a mug of coffee or cocoa.
- Watch clouds go by.
- Listen to good music.
- Exercise.
- Cook a good meal.
- Cuddle.
- Make Love.
- Meditate.
- Clean your house.
- Call your mom just to say Hi.
A site member recommended KEYS TO HAPPINESS
Note: Limit or avoid activities that cause dopamine highs and lows (like porn produces). Unhelpful things would be gambling, very intense video games, junk food, some TV.
;