Hi everyone,
I had made this post in a different thread and I was asked to make it its own thread. A fellow fapstronaut was having issues with porn and trying to cope, it struck a cord with me and made me realise that most of my issues that I had/have are not exclusive to myself and to many others out there.
So I hope what you read below is helpful to you. Alright, I’ve tried K9 and even having a different password doesn’t work. You can easily uninstall it, I find that our brains tries to substitute porn with something else eventually. But you have to make sure it’s healthy.
If you’re truly addicted to this stuff as I am, then you will just uninstall k9 when the urge is unbearable. Everything that you mentioned strucks true with me as well, we’ve been conditioned like papalovs dogs and we get into that zombie mode.
Just remember not to binge, I binged and I’m having difficulty quiting some I’m trying to figure out ways to not be around my computer. It’s the damn computer maaaan! Specially at late night I just feel like okay time to fap and fall sleep.
I’m finding out everything that causes me to feel this way, if you find anything suggestive it seems to trigger the urges. It’s a good thing that you found out at your current state, I did a very long streak and relapsed… brain not completely rebooted.
How about this, me and you become best buddies and we’re both going to do this properly together. It would help us for sure 🙂 I’ll put my badge up for the sake of both of us. I’ll prove to you that it can be done, I’ve already done it once I’ll do it again.
From now on whenever you see porn or anything suggestive close it right away. It’s all about self discipline in my opinion. Also remove all of your nsfw subreddits as you mentioned. Below I made a bunch of notes that I remembered from my challenge.
List of benefits I saw during my long streak:
1. Felt calmer
2. Enjoyed everything
3. Was witty all the way!
4. Girls would notice me
5. Had a deep urge to be outgoing and talkative and to converse and socialize.
6. Better focus
7. Deeper voice
8. Smelled better!
9. Coherent during conversations
10. Stood up for myself.
11. Self Esteem high and also my confidence, I would eye contact the shit out of you.
12. I noticed that I could present myself better.
13. Looking forward to the next day everyday!
14. Music sounded better
15. Felt more creative.
16. I had energy, everyday when I woke up I didn’t feel any mind fog or headaches.
17. Oh yea I stopped thinking about doing every girl within the first 42 months days I would say. Got harder around 87 or so as my libido came back.
18. I look better
19. Gym feels great specially the pump
20. You get in-tuned with your emotions and see the real picture of your life.
21. More hard drive space :p (I know)
22. I’m not scared of my friends to use my computer.
23. Real girls look so attractive!
24. My flaccid penis looked longer and I felt amazing about that, oh yea and your penis will look and feel smooth.
25. My face had less imperfections and oil buildup. I had nice looking skin.
26. I stopped biting my nails for the first time in my life.
27. Education: When you’re in class you actually feel more focused at what the professor is saying.
28. You will have more understanding of your surroundings, you’ll notice emotions and behaviours around you faster. It’s like having a super power.
29. Risk taking felt easier.
30. Don’t give a fuck attitude (Doesn’t mean you will be an asshole)
Some might argue most of these benefits that I saw were just placebo and I was just imagining it, so what! Most of these have stuck with me and with practice you’ll be able to perfect most of them.
Most of these benefits could be noticed within the first 2 months or earlier of nofap… and all you have to do is keep yourself busy with anything as long as it’s not porn related or fapping. Don’t even tease yourself of telling yourself that you would edge… edging leads to porn and then you’re back to square one again.
Whenever sexy thoughts come up or even flashbacks put a big red x on it in your mind. Do pushups, walk away, go out for a run.
Things to do:
1. Cook your own food if possible, not fast food. (Cut Sugar, pop and anything unhealthy)
2. Get 8 hours of sleep
3. Groom yourself such as shaving, flossing, cutting your nails.
4. Clean your room
5. If it takes 2 minutes to do something you go ahead and do those!
6. Stick to a gym routine, 3 or 4 days a week seems to do the job.
7. Some people have mentioned meditation works for them.
8. Read self help books such as Intimate connections by David Burns.
9. Don’t say no to an invitation to hang out with friends. (Don’t hang out with them if you have solid proof that they’re assholes)
10. Try to be as outgoing as possible. ( I’m finding it hard to do this without friends or people to hang out with, especially during winter and when most of my friends have gone away cause they have graduated.)
11. No matter what, don’t substitute porn with facebook, youtube and reddit and so forth.
12. Delete all of your porn; delete all of your related links to porn sites.
You can try to do anything that gave you pleasure without fapping, things that you consider will not be fun… At first you will be like this will not do anything for me but trust me eventually those little things will become fun to do.
I thought laundry was dumb, I left my clothes everywhere. Now I constantly look forward to do laundry.
What I’m trying to say is enjoy the company of yourself, enjoy being with yourself. If you enjoy yourself, others will be intrigued and would love to be with you.
Also some would completely cancel out video games and any form of entertainment, I did that in the start but I tried to play a game or two every now and then. I avoided anything addicting such as MMORPG’s, just played some single player games with story lines.
So finish reading that book, finish watching a cool TV show, movie or whatever.
Also you will notice that there is sex everywhere, your brain will start to distinguish it as fake, since it’s 2D. Not a real girl, therefore it’s not our concern.
Things not to do:
- Don’t tell the entire world about your goals, especially some friends. They will usually ridicule you I find if they don’t have your best interests in mind. Also you might get some appraisals by your peers and your brain thinks that you’ve achieved it and it’s now time to go to that habit again.
- Don’t tease yourself (Oh I’ll just check such and such just to see if my shlong works) (IT FUCKING WORKS… IT WILL ALWAYS WORK)
- Don’t edge, it will just delay your reboot.
- Don’t associate any feelings to your porn habits, memories of porn will come back in your head all the time. Flashback will pop at the most random points in your challenge… most of these will go away. Don’t feel sad when you relapse, it will just cause you to have depression coming back up… and you’ll feel down for a couple of days.
- If possible do not binge, you’ll feel like you had a hangover the next day and you will feel the headaches for a couple of days. (That is if you were on a long streak and then saw porn again and you’ll feel you’re in a candy store.)
- Don’t eat a fry or drink coke or whatever… it starts from that and then eventually you’ll tell yourself, hey lemme just watch one bit of a clip on this site or look at some pictures, you’re pretty much getting back into your old habit.
You will go through four phases based on my experience:
One: Lots of urges… (Brain thinks hey you were getting laid.. wtf need sex) … you just have to handle it. You seem to have gone through a lot and almost had it under control, now you know what to do.
Two: Depression and huge withdrawals, some days you will feel extremely sad and some other days you’ll feel extremely happy. So you’ll go through spikes… But don’t worry it will pass… You might even get migraines and runny nose… Usually lasts a day or so. You will also lose your libido during this phase, you might start to doubt if your dick has stopped working and will try to stimulate yourself… DON’T YOU BOTHER WITH THIS… eventually you’ll get morning wood every fucking day and will make you feel good.
During this phase you will regret a lot of stuff, past missed relationships, actions you could have done, things you could have said, things you could have done….
This will pass, so don’t worry about it.
Three: Feeling euphoria and broken out of a cage, you’ll notice everything that you had done before. You will not be interested in porn at all hopefully for good. Video games, movies, TV shows will become less interesting as you like to go out more and like to hang out with your friends more, LIFE is your playground.
Four: This one happened to me and it could not happen to you, if you haven’t gotten laid within the first 90 days you’ll tell yourself that it will happen eventually. You will become impassioned and you might forget the reasons you started doing this and you will be like this won’t hurt anyone and you’ll edge and go back in a cycle that never ends for a while. So an accumulation of self doubt, regrets, depression worst than the first withdrawal phase might hit you.
Remember you’re healing your brain and you’re doing this for yourself, the future you will thank you.
Some tools that helped me out:
- Chains (Helps you with counting each day)
- Your brain on porn (Explains some issues men have discovered and how they fixed it, also good videos to learn)
- Some videos for motivation:
- Live with chivarly
- Movie clip from the giants
- How bad do you want it?
I hope this stuff helps you out as much as it helped me out, you’ll learn a lot about yourself during this journey it will be worthwhile.
Not to dismay you or anything, that last phase during my journey threw me off as I wasn’t prepared for it as I didn’t read any material on it, most of the people that were in this were already in a relationship or had sex and noticed that they didn’t enjoy sex or they had ED… I on the other hand am doing this cause I’ve been addicted to it since elementary school and have avoided every girl that could have been my partner, also my circle of friends have been disappearing and I’m graduating from University and this has become a hindrance in my growth and my life. I want to be happy and to be with someone but I don’t want to be my sole goal, we can conquer this! After all we found ourselves on the internet and we’re trying to reach out.
I know it’s a long post, but I’m trying to pass on my knowledge.
TL;DR: Never gonna give you up, never gonna …. read it, took me forever to write all of this for you guys.
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