Every person on this subreddit has his/her own reasons for taking on r/pornfree, but for those of you who may be on the fence about partaking in this challenge, let me persuade you with several of the best and most obvious benefits.
1) Tissue boxes last for-fucking-ever. Before I would go through one every other week but with r/pornfree I feel like I’ll never run out. Why you may ask? Because they only go on my nose, not on my dongle.
2) You can put all that lotion to better use. Ever had dry skin? Say no more, muchacho. Remember all that lotion you’ve wasted on your meat stick? Now you can put it ANYWHERE. That’s right, you can use the lotion to smooth down those rugged rough shoulders, you can spread it all over your manly-ass biceps and make those puppies shine, or you can spread it all over a charming lady-friend (if she consents, but when she sees your sexy smooth lotion-lathered skin how could she refuse?).
3) No more awkward dick struts to the bathroom. You know what I’m talking about. You’re sitting at your computer, fapping your life away, and you finish up only to realize that you have run out of tissues (see point #1). So you get up, hold your shirt up with your elbow, keep your spittle glazed baloney pony off your waistband with your dry hand, try to keep your not so dry hand off your favorite shirt, and you waddle your way to the bathroom to wipe your tallywhacker on some toilet paper like a constipated penguin. If you’re like me, on the trip to the bathroom you’re thinking, “There’s got to be a better way!” WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH-TITS, CALL ME MOTHER FUCKING BILLY MAYS BECAUSE I’VE GOT A SOLUTION FOR YOU! Take the r/pornfree challenge and never again have to worry about your roommate/mom/girlfriend catching you do the dick waddle! It’s that easy!
4) Your pets will love you more. Is there anything worse than being in the middle of an intense and borderline painful fapfest and having your dog/cat/beloved goldfish mosey on up to you and look you dead in the eye? Maybe stepping on a Lego, but besides that it’s pretty much the shittiest thing that is likely to happen to you on your Saturday night spent alone watching porn. Take the r/pornfree challenge and you no longer have to shoo your poodle from your noodle! No longer will you have to throw a blanket over your cockatoo’s cage to keep him from seeing your cockatoo’s rage! Think about it, this subreddit basically makes you Jane Goodall of your miniature animal kingdom.
5) No more embarrassing lies. Ever walk into a respectable climate with respectable chaps and respectable ladies only to realize you have a spittle spot on your shirt, an embarrassing remnant of your late night porn spree? Then you spend the rest of the evening thinking everyone is staring at it and so you tell people it’s “syrup” that you must have spilled on yourself for breakfast? Yes, you have, and if you haven’t then you still probably have and are just lying to me/yourself. Well you can wave those situations goodbye, because from now on the stains on your clothes really will be syrup instead of dick goop.
6) Less confusion on laundry day. No more will you have to look at your favorite shirt and say “Is that doughnut glaze or jizz residue?” No more will you have to play Russian Roulette with dirty socks on your floor, hoping to God that you didn’t fill one up the night before after an intense porn session. No more will you look at a seemingly clean pair of underwear and after pulling them up to your knees you see the shimmer of sperm that sneaked into your pants after an unsuccessful dirty dick waddle.
7) No more accidentally thinking about your relatives while your pants are down. Seriously, nothing ruins your day quite like thinking of dear old Aunt Millie while you’re exercising your third leg.
8) Fewer boner-alerts. Porn addicts, I know what you’ve been through. You see a pretty girl on the street and rather than thinking “Hey, she looks quite pretty, and I can respect her not only for her good looks but also for her personality,” you think “JESUS TIT FUCK I WANNA BONE HER AND MAYBE EAT DONUTS OFF HER BUTT!” And just like that, BAM! Instant boner-alert. Now you have to walk around holding something in front of you, or bent over at a 60 degree angle, or you have to walk behind someone large and pray that they don’t stop abruptly causing you to poke them with your raging little Elvis. Take the this challenge and never compare women to “that one porn star you saw when you were fapping on a sunny Friday afternoon alone” and you can instead go out on that sunny Friday afternoon and see a pretty lady without instantly giving her a standing ovation in your trousers.
9) Miscellaneous Of course there are other things that will happen when you eliminate porn from your life, such as increased confidence, better self esteem, the ability to look people in the eye, a sudden power to seduce ladies left and right like you’ve suddenly become Antonio Benderas, fewer sexual problems like ED or impotency, spending your life living with people and pretty girls rather than fucking yourself every night til you cry your lonely ass to sleep, increased honesty and loyalty to your current or potential girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife, viewing women as humans rather than objects to succumb to your every whim, and you will feel less like SAP and more like OMM just to name a few. And of course you gain the ability to live your life without being shackled to the shallow, meaningless, poisonous lie that you need porn, that you can never live without it, or that sex is some mystical end-all objective that life revolves around. You will look at a porn star and think “You know what? She poops. She’s not any different from me, she’s not some beacon to chase my whole life, she’s no better or worse than I am.” You are not a dog chasing after cars that you can never catch, because the cars aren’t even real and neither are the women you watch online or on TV or in magazines, they are just the empty shells the world wants you to worship. These ideas you have built up over years of being a prisoner to porn have only ever done one thing to you: Skew your reality from something you want. What you want is to live your damn life for all that it can be, but all that time that you wasted being porn’s bitch has done nothing but cover a hole you were too afraid to fill yourself. I know what it is like to use pornography as a tool to lie to myself about my insecurities, but life isn’t lived under the pretense of a lie. Life is lived despite struggle, despite pain, despite feelings of inadequacy; life is lived with courage, the courage to overcome your demons.
So, are you strong enough to fill the hole you’ve covered?
Don’t live the lie. Life is so much greater than that.
The most obvious benefits of r/pornfree
by minnow1776
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