What’s the SECRET? My two cents.
I saw a recent post by /u/Time_for_da_parteh accusing veterans here of not sharing the secret of their success, and imploring them to do so. While I am not (yet!) a 90+ day guy, I thought I’d share my “secrets” in a post, so that it has more of a chance of being seen by more people. So, here goes:
- The first, and hardest, step is to convince yourself that you need to change. This is what most people miss. If you are not deeply convinced that you need to change, then your attempts will probably be half-hearted (at best) and they will probably fail.
- The first few days are the most difficult, since we are starting on a new thing which is so drastically different from our ingrained behaviour. Most of us have made the same struggles as you, and many of us have overcome them. You will, too, if you try.
- Do not try to fight this with will power. Instead, try to find as many props to help you distract away those urges, so that you need to use will power only occasionally, as a last resort.
- Install the K9 filter program.
- Install RES and turn on its nsfw filtering.
- Start a chain or two on http://dontbreakthechain.com .
- Put yourself in public view as much as possible. Do not close the door to your room. Use a timer to limit the time you stay in your bathroom.
- Start a badge here.
- Come here and seek help when you feel the urge. Read the stories here.
- Whenever you feel the urges or otherwise know that you are in a precarious state, do something to distract yourself. Call up a friend and talk, or do some chore, or log on to this subreddit and see what people have to say about their struggles and successes. Anything to distract you from the immediate urge. If you feel the urge too strong, try going on to the subreddit’s irc channel (link on the right) and talking to the folk there.
- I saved the best secret for the last: The days add up, slowly at first, and then they fly by.
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