Grammy-winning singer Billie Eilish recently spoke up about being exposed to porn at the age of 11, revealing the negative effects it had on her life, her body image, and ability to form healthy relationships. In an interview on “The Howard Stern Show”, the 19-year-old star revealed several heartbreaking details:
I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was like 11 […] I think it really destroyed my brain, and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn.
During the interview, Billie Eilish described a common experience heavy porn users report. Over time, she escalated into more extreme material in order to maintain the same level of arousal.
it got to a point where I like didn’t…I couldn’t watch anything else, unless it was violent I didn’t think it was attractive.
Blurring the lines of consent
The singer’s porn use didn’t just alter what she needed to view on screen, it also influenced her first sexual experiences and what she felt obliged to consent to:
it led to problems. The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying ‘no’ to things that were not good. It’s because I thought that that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to.
Being exposed to violent porn as a child was clearly traumatic for her. “I think that I had sleep paralysis and these night terrors slash nightmares because of it,” she said. “I think that’s how it started because I would just watch abusive BDSM and that’s what I thought was attractive.”
However, these revelations of how internet porn negatively impacted her are all in retrospect now that she’s older and a bit wiser. Before she shared the devastating impact porn had on her, she preemptively shattered the current prevailing propaganda put forth by the porn-industry and agenda-driven academics that claims porn doesn’t cause problems, but rather having “shame” about porn use causes problems. Billie Eilish pointed out that, for her, nothing could be further from the truth.
I used to be the person that would talk about porn all the time. I’d be like, ‘Oh, it’s so stupid that anybody would think that porn is bad or f***ed up,’ you know, ‘I think it’s so cool and it’s great and it’s empowering.’ […] I was an advocate and I thought I was ‘one of the guys’ and would talk about it and think I was really cool for not having a problem with it and not seeing why it was bad
Moving forward
Billie Eilish’s story is important because it shows that women develop problems from porn use too, and that kids who think porn is “empowering” and do not have shame around viewing it can still develop problems. Sexual conditioning and addiction-related brains changes can occur regardless if they’re ashamed of their porn use, or not.
Teens need to learn how to manage and protect the most important sex organ: the brain. They need to learn about the brain’s reward circuitry and its unique vulnerabilities during adolescence, especially with regard to ‘supernormal stimuli’ like internet porn.
The bravery of Billie Eilish in sharing her story publicly has exposed misconceptions and will undoubtedly help many people struggling. Now it is up to us to learn from her experience, and educate the next generation of youth about porn’s potential harm.
Because if we don’t? Now that would be a shame.
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