What about wet dreams?

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guy after a wet dreamTwo very common questions:

Are wet dreams considered a relapse?

Does a wet dream set me back?

  • Answer: I have no idea. Don't worry about it, as you will never know know if it did or it didn't, and recovery from an addiction isn't a race. For some with porn-induced ED, it may be a good sign.

A wet dream may cause an increase in sexual desire or cravings to use porn/masturbate. See: Do You Need a Chaser After Sex?

An excellent take on wet dreams and rebooting:

No, a wet dream is not nearly the same as watching porn. There was a whole set of voluntary behaviors you did when you were PMOing. That series of conscious behaviors is the pattern you are trying to disrupt with the reboot.

A wet dream involves no conscious behavior whatsoever. Dreaming about porn is normal -- there's nothing you can do about it. Porn dreams will get less frequent and probably go away for the most part. And the ejaculation was just your body getting rid of semen -- perfectly normal and healthy.

Rebooting is not about becoming a non-sexual eunuch. It's just about not engaging in the harmful behavior of PMO. There's nothing wrong with feeling sexual or having sex dreams.

(Comments: Interestingly, there's a group of men who prefer wet dreams as their sexual release - http://www.wetdreamforum.com/ )


Words from a recovered user:

The "stopping porn" journey took probably a year or so of NO porn to transform myself. Wet dreams did not reset the whole process. I powered through anyway! (They happen rarely now.)

Another guy, age 24, describing his reboot:

The lack of orgasm in my life was very interesting. It was a contributor to all the mental clarity and physical centeredness. At first, I had wet dreams weekly. After about 6-8 weeks, the wet dreams stopped. Each day after a wet dream I felt mentally scattered, horny, and had a loss of motivation. This was one thing i've noticed a while before nofap and lead me to look into full-body orgasm without ejaculations as taught by tantric and taoist cultures.


Another guy said not long after starting his reboot:

During my years of excessive PMO, I don't think I ever had a wet dream. I started having them consistently after day 3 of my reboot. In fact, I rarely have a dream now without sex being involved. Keep in mind though, during my days of PMO, I rarely ever dreamed at all. I think, for me, part of the withdrawal involves longing and passionate cravings that disturb my sleep and give me vivid dreams when I do actually sleep. I think this is more of an individual thing. One mistake I see a lot of guys making on this site is that they try to relate everything to their libido; like anything that happens has some libido-meaning.


wet dreams during porn addiction recoveryPeople have different experiences with wet dreams. In some cases, perhaps after the brain has returned to balance, the person notices nothing during the days following. Other people (women have dream orgasms, too!) definitely notice mood changes, extra horniness, increased anxiety and so forth during the days after a wet dream.

Trust the process. There's no point in trying to fight wet dreams; they're perfectly natural. That said, some people have noticed the following things sometimes trigger them:

  • watching/reading hypersexual materials
  • eating lots of chips or other junk food
  • spicy food
  • underwear that is too tight
  • sleeping on one's back

See what you notice. Also, realize that your experience may evolve over time. Said one guy:

I've never stopped counting on account of a wet dream. It seems like it's different and you are not consciously deciding to go for it. Overall, the dopamine charge is not the same. The willful decision differs. And it's usually with a mythical creature, an old woman, an animal, or a weird situation where you end up having sex with a pony in a public demonstration or something. Not that I have had any of these.... But if the dream is a hot girl, and you remember saying to her, "Ok, let's do this," then you have to start over. (joking)

I have never had a wet dream before and it felt awesome haha A million times better than porn. I was dreaming I was having sex which I don't normally dream about. It was all very graphic and then I came as I woke up. It felt pretty cool and I didn't mind as it was natural. I didnt feel embarrassed or anything. It was a very unfamiliar sensation.

Three other guys who didn't like the effects:

  • I felt my wet dreams left me drained, maybe less than normal orgasms but still noticeable. It was ridiculous because they were caused by my boxer briefs (washing got them on the snug side, it took me a while to realize). As soon as I switched to looser boxers, things got much better.
  • While I'm not "counting" them since they're out of my control, wet dreams are annoying since they basically feel like a relapse. The orgasm along with the memory of the dream fresh in my mind makes me feel like I've gone back to the old habit even though I haven't; an extremely uncomfortable situation. At the same time, I'm proud of having resisted actually going back to it.
  • I'm 26, did more than 120 days without porn and masturbation and had 16 WDs during that time. I didn't really see any of the benefits that people report: confidence, attractiveness, strength. I was in a permanent post orgasmic grogginess. I relapsed at some point and apparently something snapped and I didn't get them any more. Things are very different now after 30 days without any orgasm - I am seeing the benefits.

Two other guys who didn't mind the effects:

  • I usually wake up feeling great if I had a wet dream the night before. To me it signals that I'm getting on the right track, and I have a great day. When I watched porn I used to have dreams where I could not get erections or I would come the second penetration happened. Now my dreams are of solid performance. People shouldn't freak out about wet dreams in my opinion because some say dreams are a subconscious Connection and the possible thought process of your subconscious trying to process information, or test out possible choices. Many times dreams boost my self confidence and act as a self fulfilling prophecy for me.
  • Nocturnal emission is much more pleasurable now, and for me, it's like some kind of award for being free from PMO.

This guy's experience is similar:

  • (Day 45) I feel energized and ready for the day after a wet dream. It's nice to know the body will remove excess sexual tension or build up of sperm on its on without me doing the job.

Some rebooters view wet dreams as signs of health:

  • I was wondering when it would eventually happen, and last night it did. That's right, a nocturnal emission. It is nice to know that the body will take care of itself, and that giving up P and M is something that won't really have any negative health implications.

And sometimes a wet dream is your body's way of helping you find balance

  • (Advice from one forum member to another) I finally had a wet dream at about day 34. In the week leading up to then, I was, like you, subconsciously resisting wet dreams. The reason for that is because your brain has adjusted to resisting arousing thoughts, so when you're sleeping, your brain is still in that resisting phase. That's why your brain is resisting wet dreams. Your body will, however, have to open its natural release valve, and nature will take its course. It's gonna be tough in the days and nights leading up to it though. For me, the buildup was so strong that the need for orgasm almost felt like a need to urinate. The urge did not feel like true libido. It was not even an urge to look at porn. It was just a "frustrated energy" as I call it, that makes you crave a release. In the nights leading up to the wet dream, I was dreaming that I was orgasing, even though I don't remember the dreams being sexual. But my mind was still resisting. So one night, I actually said to myself "it's ok to have a wet dream"..."just let it happen...don't fight it". And sure enough, nature finally took its course. That's what I recommend you do. Try to relax before you go to sleep, and tell yourself to let go and not resist. That may help your mind and body loosen up and make it easier to release. You will feel like all the tension has gone. Just beware of the chaser effect, which can temporarily cause a relapse.
  • For me, the problem with masturbation is that it is emotionally draining. The process seems rather burdensome and not very pleasurable. The sad part is when I put in all the effort and receive a rather weak orgasm. The result is that a binge/addiction like feeling occurs and I end up doing it several times a day. I thought maybe this was a sign of my brain not being fully rewired yet. But that's really strange, because prior to MO, I felt as if I was cured. And I had good enough reasons to believe this, the biggest of them being that I was satisfied with my wet dreams. I never binged for more orgasm after those wet dreams; it was as if my brain really returned to having normal levels of satisfaction. Also, I had more pleasurable orgasms with them and felt more natural because I could dream of actual sex with girls. It felt more satisfying to a pair-bonding brain. This is what is absent while masturbating---no bonding or emotions.But that is just my opinion. Some guys seem to have no problems with MO and I respect that. To each his own, I guess.
  • The best part about my wet dreams was that it helped in creating a balance which I could never experienced before. Timely orgasms with ejaculation provided by nature. It felt so good as I just went in with the natural flow. It's amazing how your body takes care of itself.
  • (Day 90) After a wet dream (happened 4 times until now), the day after I feel a little depressed, and the two-three days after that day I feel really great.

Others find them a nuisance and suggest tips for minimizing them:

  • I get more of them when I get stressed out. My body is like making itself feel better. So that means if you choose to try to avoid wet dreams then anything that reduces stress will ultimately potentially make a wet dream less likely.What seems to help for avoiding wet dreams is to squeeze your PC muscle (I think that's how it's called) really hard, 4 or 5 times every time you get an erection. It seems to make the tension increase, but wait a little and the erection is gone, the tension is gone, the stress is gone. You feel sleepy and mellow like after an O, but without the hangover.
  • I'm quite prone to wet dreams, so hoping I don't get any. I've found that sleeping on my back is a good way to prevent them.
  • I think the only answer is time. As you train your mind to go down new pathways, your body will eventually follow. The same thing happened to me when I first began forgoing orgasm and ejaculation to learn karezza. Wet dreams petered out over time. Might have even taken a full year, if I remember right. Fewer and fewer until they stopped. What I wouldn't do is beat yourself up over it or get down on yourself. You're doing the best you can and controlling what you can control. Don't sweat it. Nocturnal emission will diminish on its own. Unfortunately, I know of no special tips or tricks to make it stop sooner. Only time.
  • That theory is validated by my experiences. I never had wet dreams in my life before abstaining. In my early years of puberty I heard that your first orgasm will happen in your dreams and that it would be a phenomenal experience. I thought something was seriously wrong with me. It didn't happen because by the time I was having my first sexual sensations I had started with porn, and was going through 1 to 3 masturbations a day. Clearly I wasn't able to have a WD because I released all the sexual tension I had (and even more ), so it couldn't build up.After few weeks of abstinence I had the first wet dream in my life. I just imagined a woman and had an immediate orgasm after one second. I was so excited to have sex in my dreams, but was sad after I realized that I don't imagine complex long scenes, but orgasm a few seconds after dreaming of a woman.The more I abstained the longer were the periods between wet dreams, after 5 or 6 weeks I went more than 30 days without one. At first, we are so used to orgasm more or less daily that our brain just repeats the pattern through our unconscious mind because we don't give our brain what it's used to: the dopamine fix. It's a natural response, which is our brain's answer to our sudden change in habits.
  • In my first 4 weeks, I had 5 wet dreams. Only once did I have any sort of chaser effect (which I did not succumb to). Some of the dreams involved people I actually know; some involved people I don't personally know; and only one involved porn (which is the one where I had the chaser effect). All of the dreams were correlated to alcohol and/or pot use in the hours before sleep. There's nothing I can do about the wet dreams, besides staying off substances that will probably slow my reboot anyway.
  • I recently stopped eating late at night and haven't had a WD since. Kind of goes without saying but being a vegitarian makes it easier to keep up celibacy. After 1 month of vegetarianism, celibacy seems normal, and non-celibacy seems out of context (if you will).
  • 4~5 days before an important event (for example, a performance or presentation, or sports-match) I want to prevent this sort of thing from happening. (The ideas is to keep my energy level high and brain chemistry stable.) What I do during those days is before sleeping, out-loud I ask my angels to help me keep wet dreams from happening. Pretty much as unscientific as you can get, but I find that it works : p
  • Keep your hand above the sheets and sleep on your back is my advice to you my friend . The times that I got wet dreams were mostly because of my boner rubbing against the bed, because of sleeping on my stomach. Without any physical stimulation of your boner, you must have one badass dream fantasy to actually have a wet dream.
  • How can wet dreams be stopped? Well, if you become lucid in a wet dream... you can just yell STOP! and the dream will stop, and you will wake up without any loss of sperm (depending on how far into the dream you were). Other tips are sleeping naked and on your back (pressure against the penis = more likely to have wet dreams). Avoid thinking arousing thoughts before bed and looking at pornographic material too, obviously. Any of the solo sacred sex practices like the "Ham-Sah" pranayama will not only decrease the likelihood of wet dreams but also lead to more vivid dreams in general.

More advice:

This is for blokes. I've been working at this for about 10 years now. I have been several years of being single and also several years in a relationship. Here's a few tips, I'd add some more when I think of them.

* Best thing is to practice Karezza.
* Exercise and be generally healthy & strong. Don't spend all day sitting around.
* Exercise moderately every day if you are single as it burns up some energy and keeps you focused and manly (not a weedy guy who sits at the desk all day whose testicles shrink and voice is shaky).
* Avoid arguements and anything that makes you emotionally disturbed. maybe the emotional tension and discomfort leads to seeking plesaure while asleep. on that note, just try to relax all day. This seems like the most important key, stay balanced and relaxed.
* Try to go to sleep feeling clear and relaxed, some gentle meditation before sleep can help.
* Dont sleep on your stomach. Don't wear tight clothes to bed.
* Generally avoid really spicy foods. avoiding pork may help.
* Try not to be lustful during the day in your thoughts, actions, feelings etc. Just make sure that you don't cause tension in avoiding these things. the idea is not supression but overcoming through understanding and learning.

* A technique I learnt, I would spend maybe 10 minutes or so breathing the energy when I was single, seemed to make a big difference. normally do it at night just a bit before I go to bed.

HAM SAH PRACTICE (quote from Samael Aun Weor, also taught well by Belzebuub):
Sit down comfortably: the eastern way (cross-legged) or the western way (on a comfortable armchair). Relax your bodies as children do.

Inhale deeply, very slowly, and imagine that the creative energy rises through the spermatic channels up to the brain; mentally pronounce the mantra HAM like this: HAAAAAAAMM.

Exhale, short and quick, as you pronounce aloud the mantra SAH: SAAAAHH...

Undoubtedly, you inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. While inhaling, you “mantralize” the sacred syllabe HAM (mentally, since you are inhaling through the nose); but you can articulate the syllabe SAH with sound while you exhale.

More tips on avoiding wet dreams. Also, those of an esoteric bent may find useful tips at this site. The man who recommended it said:

This site is one of the best open-source meditation resources on the internet. It offers many well-rounded techniques for evolution and has support forums. There's even an answer to your wet-dream question (look up the Tantra section).

If you are having a persistent wetdream problem you may find "Spermatorrhea" resources worth reading. However, we have no idea whether the approaches recommended work. More from the man who sent this tip:

Hello, I have more news regarding the wet dream situation. I don't want to jinx it but thank's to the treatment i've been taking the situation has changed for the better.This will be a long message!

Let me start with the results:

  1. Before treatment: i had minimum of 3 WD's a week (sometimes even 5) that have been occuring regulary for the past year, before that year there was 1 WD once a week. I need not mention the horrid state I was in (depressed, fatigued, i felt literally stupid, skinny, blurred vision, tingling hands, anxious and more!). This was all because of the WD because i was not engaging in porn or masturbation.
  2. After a month of treatment: I went to 2 doctors to treat this: the first one was a homeopath + a specialisation in naturistic medicine (he was the only one who believed i had spermatorrhea and he actually had a good idea of how the disease manifested itself) and a regular doctor for the urinary infection.

I won't lie, the 1st week and a half of treatment sent my WD into a full on rage mode, i had a 7 WD during that period (wierdly enough i was not as fatigued by them at that time) and after that they stopped. YOU CANNOT believe the happyness i feel right now after over 3 weeks of NO SLEEP ORGASMS (this Thursday i will be celebrating a month without WD's). I'm happier, my strenght returned, more confident and i seem to be smarter, i mean i understand more complex things such as scientific dialogue easier.

Now for the treatment (This may help your friend but i still advise he go to more doctors until someone takes him seriously):

  1. The infection treatment:

cefuroxime (antibiotic), diclofenac suppositories, urinal akute.

  1. The spermatorrhea treatment:

china (homeopathic medicine), kali phos (homeopathic medicine), salvia glutinosa pills, tincture of angelica, tincture of hops, and teas (a combination of salvia officinalis, viola tricolor and ocimum basilicum).

Observations: the most important one is by far the fact that i stopped working out. Turns out that my fatigued nervous system could not handle working out and keeping wet dreams at bay at the same time. I always had a pattern, after a week or so of no WD i started to feel good and resume exercise to which the following night i had a wet dream. I believe that stopping this pattern (combined with the medicine) has led to these wonderful 3 weeks of real abstinence.

Second observation: taking a 5-10 minute cold sitz bath (meaning i only use cold water on the pelvic zone + genital area, the rest of the body being dry) reduces pain in the zone, congestion and just makes me feel good.

That's about it. I just want to thank you for listening and congratulate you on your intuition because you were right, even though 80% of the doctors said it was normal it turns out they were wrong. Tell your friend to keep on fighting because this thing CAN BE BEATEN!

Comments

I am 5 weeks into PMO and have had 3 wet dreams. I do not start the count over. They normally happen on weekends. Maybe this is because my brain knows it will get a sleep in...or maybe it's because of the uninterrupted RMI sleep. They are also more common after I see my girlfriend.

I'm on day 39 and for the first time I had a porn wet dream ( fictional pornographic scenes my brain created ) I woke up this morning with a lot of cum under ! , is this considered the same as watching porn ? .. I'm confused ... I wouldn't be sad if the dream wasn't about porn and included me ..

I can't thank you enough for this site !

wanna add that I hardly remember only one image from what I dreamed of .. But it was porn ... is the brain usually awake during dreams ? .. I don't know ! .....

I can't thank you enough for this site !

relax. It's a normal bodily function. See this FAQ - http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wet-dreams

Hey guys,

I have successfully quit PMO since over 7 months. However, since then I have been having regular wet dreams at an avg of 10-15 days. I have taken all suggested measures including (not sleeping on back, not eating spicy food late night, wearing loose clothing, spending energy on exercise) and these have reduced the frequency, but not significantly. Even though it is considered normal bodily function, they leave me weakened in the same manner as masturbation with porn.

In the days following a wet dream I feel:

1) Extreme dullness and poor mood
2) Lack of confidence
3) High social anxiety
4) Feel nervous, depressed out of sorts with no good reason

Despite having completely quit PMO for 7 months+ the regular wet dreams are not letting me feel the benefits of abstaining from PMO. I am very anxious and would really appreciate your suggestions.

Thank you

Hi

You will probably receive few answers on this site. I suggest http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/

I also removed your name

thank you. i appreciate it

To begin with,Gary Wilson and Marnia Robinson, i am really very grateful and sincerely thank both of you, as you have been the best support to all of us who were destroying our lives by uncontrolled P/M/O and we eventually experienced the devastating consequence of decades of P/M/O.
For me you both are angels, whom i found when i needed help in this the most.... what can i say is, Thank you so very much for all the efforts that you have taken to help all of us and
you are gathering blessings and happiness from every corner of the world, by blessing us with the wisdom and spreading happiness in our lives :)

NRD

hello guys.......

Its 43 days of no porn, fells awesome, 100 percent no cravings at all for Porn and 18 days of no M/O,to be very frank i masturbated four times in a month-(last month sept 2012), but without porn, As i had some myths and fear (as most my friends said so), about completely stopping or giving up M/O would have some negative effect on my sexual life, but as and as i read brilliant articles on this website i was confident enough to step ahead and Stop Completely M/O, and i m consistently following it. There's no question of Porn ever again in my life, i can say that with total honesty and confidence.Well, talking about the Wet Dream, for years i haven't got a wet dream, but last night i eventually got one,BINGO! trust me guys i felt this relaxing feeling as i have never felt ever before when, i was in constant P/M/O,I felt so good as I just went in with the natural process, It's so very amazing to observe how your body takes care of itself. Its the First wet dream in the rebooting process, as i read that its perfectly fine and there's no question of relapsing as its a natural manifestation of the body of unburdening itself from that extra sperms and stress.
My dream was not porn for sure, it was my ex girlfriend giving me a (BJ).
One thing's for sure, i am felling totally relaxed through out the day. I am optimistic about the changes that are taking place in my life and believe me the changes are truly great...lets wait and watch!

NRD

but as and as i read brilliant articles on this website i was confident enough to step ahead and Stop Completely M/O, and i m consistently following it.

It seems as though you are doing great. Keep in mind that problem is porn, which you are avoiding. You have already drastically reduced M/O, so you are rebooting.There are no rules in rebooting, other than no porn.

I appreciate that you took time to reply me...... Thanks a lot!

I have another problem now.. .it has happened for the second time, --its uncontrolled ejaculation,

First time it happened to me in the Crowded bus, a lady came and sat next to me(Bus Seat), and her thighs and hands were touching my hands and thighs as we sat next to each other, i was so quickly arose like never before and within a minute, i ejaculated.

Second time, this evening there's one girl in my Finance coaching, recently introduced, who asks me to drop her at her hostel i did it twice, (for this coaching, i use my bike), but twice when i did drop her i never removed my bag-pack which was between me and her,so there was no question of touch, today i think i did this purposely, i took my bag-pack in front while riding the bike and the reason was lets see how i feel- wanted to check ,( As i had girl friends who sat behind me, many times, but i was a P/M/O addict that time)whether i feel something or still nothing,as her boobs touched my back rite then i started this feeling of ejaculation and within a minute or two, deep breaths, increased heart beats and i ejaculated again, surprisingly on bike.

I am bit worried about this..... :(

another question: if this is the case, would i have to run away from such situations, at least during rebooting as its totally uncontrolled, it just happens. It left me with a feeling of guilt.I understand Wet Dreams are natural, what do u call this? i mean please throw some light on this and how should i deal with it.
Thank u sir.

NRD

First time it happened to me in the Crowded bus, a lady came and sat next to me(Bus Seat), and her thighs and hands were touching my hands and thighs as we sat next to each other, i was so quickly arose like never before and within a minute, i ejaculated.

A few guys report spontaneous ejaculations such as you experienced. It arises from abstinence for such a long period. Just stating the obvious.

The goal of rebooting is to unwire from porn and rewire to real humans...you have done this. The goal isn't to be abstinent for a specific time period.

Thank you dear friend for replying..........have a grt time!

NRD

Is this type of situation common, as my P/M/O continued for years from the age of 13or14 and that i have now decided to stop it for completely,for recovering totally from this situation, could this be the reason for uncontrolled ejaculation....

as in the above situation in the second one (Droping my friend to hostel) i dint even remember about the erection as the feeling was too intense, What it could be?

NRD

I'm not new to wet dreams , I had a few of them in my first reboot ( before a relapse ) .. now I'm on the 61th day of my second reboot , but wet dreams lately have been different ... I'm feeling so aware of them while having them , I mean much more conscious and present in the moment like I'm awake ! and sometimes I feel like ejaculation happens only partially because of that , like I had the power to stop it ! ... in wet dreams one is supposed to be more absent , right ? .. but lately they feel so real and like my mind is awake during the whole thing and I can remember the O I guess ! .... but on the other hand they don't cause me hangovers or any of the effects of the normal MO ... but I'm a little confused ! is it because I've become mroe familiar with the mode of wet dreams so that I feel them much more ? or there is something wrong ? .. please give me your opinion about this thing , don't need for supportive answers ... Modar

&&

I can't thank you enough for this site !

no insights about your questions. Good to see you are doing well.