- Rebooting Basics
- Tools for Change
- Porn FAQs
- ED & Porn
- Gary's Page
What benefits do people see as they reboot?
Submitted by Marnia Robinson on Tue, 12/07/2010 - 14:25
- The PDF of benefits
- Rebooting Accounts
- ED recovery Stories
- Nofap 90-day reports
- The Other Porn Experiment - read comments section
- Is porn making my social anxiety/confidence/depression worse
- Guys Who Gave Up Porn: On Sex and Romance - read comments section
- External threads, blogs, and websites on this page
To understand the possible neurobiology behind many of these benefits, see Porn, Masturbation and Mojo: A Neuroscience Perspective
Users' reports about the benefits of rebooting:
If you can manage at least 3 weeks, you'll see how powerful all of this is. The clarity and lack of depression for me was extremely noticeable and you will likely feel like a different person. It gave me some hope that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with me. Just having that experience of clarity and lack of depression can be a powerful thing. It’s worth it, but it can take a while to get the hang of it.
I am retaining and storing information perfectly first time and recalling it with complete accuracy. When people speak to me to tell me things I am fully engaged and I am actively listening to them. Before my reboot I was terrible at this. I would feign listening, not remember anything and then waste time wonder what was going on, trying to teach myself from scratch and then annoying them by asking them to show me for a second or third time. I just feel sharper and more clear mentally. It is tough to accurately describe it without sounding too poetic, but you feel like you're tuned into life, you're aware of more than you were before.
At work, there are girls that I would consider to be out of my league that are now looking at me. I know this because I am looking back at them and not shying away so I am actually noticing them properly for the first time. Since stopping PMO I have noticed that I have become more aware of my desire for affection and love increasing and the best part is, I also have a girlfriend to do that with. I often felt in the past as well like I was missing something that other guys had. It was confidence, but not just because they had had sex and relationships and I hadn't. I couldn't put my finger on it but I think I could have the answer.
How many of those guys would have, without knowing it been abstaining from porn and masturbation, and only getting their orgasms through sex with their girlfriends? If that's the case then it could go a long way to explaining why I used to feel and in some cases like a second class citizen, and why I am now feeling like I am making my way slow but surely up into the major leagues. (Day 52) I didn't touch my penis with my hand, but it certainly felt firm. It stayed firm for 10 minutes and all it took was kissing, cuddling and light touching. No heavy, direct, manual stimulation, no dirty talk, no having to look at Rachel's ass, no swapping positions or trying to force anything. It was just like my brain tuned in and BAM, I was turned on. It certainly bodes well for the future.
So, 3 more days and it's been a roller coaster of an adventure so far. I've experienced petty much every stage as described, from extreme horniness to flatlining. I'd been experimenting with nofap before even knowing this community existed, but now I'm in it for the long haul.
Some observations: *my voice seems to have permanently deepened
*my confidence seems indestructible; composure unflappable
*I quit smoking (was casual, but they stopped selling my brand so maybe it was the universe talking)
*I saw near immediate changes in my physique; this may have been caused by testosterone, but I was putting on more muscle without trying
*I started cycling a few months ago resulting in overall better appearance and huge energy reserves combined with nofap
*my mental focus is incredible, allowing me to start overachieving at work (it's being noticed)
*I've started dating a few women (have been single for years); I am approaching women much more easily and seem to be far more engaging. Actually, women are approaching me far more than usual.
*I have been able to accept what I am, what I think and what I feel. It's a new level of clarity and purity.
*Just booked a long solo trip; I can have engaging conversations with strangers now, so it's not as daunting as it would have been in the past.
*I've also started to not give as many fucks as I used to. Combining cardio workouts, nofap, and not giving fucks has given me a new level of resilience that I never thought possible. Some crazy things have happened to me in the last few months that a lesser version of me would have completely imploded.
To be clear though, this path may have started with nofap, but it's the combination of things that have transformed me. I recommend the same (especially the cardio workouts).
One word of warning. During periods of extreme horniness don't have sex just for the sake of it (I did). While the orgasm was amazing, dealing with the aftermath wasn't.
I am on this path (of which nofap is a part of) permanently and it's one I wish more people followed.
Hang in there if you're in the early days and start doing other stuff - you have so much time on your hands now, so get out there and get active, meet people or just walk around and be happy.
Reddit thread:Anyone else notice increased concentration?
I've always had issues focusing. In college I didn't do well unless I was on adderall. I was unable to finish a book unless it was extremely interesting. My mind would just bombard me with a million ideas or urges making it difficult to study or read. Anytime I'm on nofap my concentration skyrockets. I just finished a book yesterday That I have been meaning to read for the past 6 months. I've also had better luck applying for jobs and working on projects. Anyone else experience this?
After only 11 days, I feel like a different person. I'm much more talkative and aware in social settings. At work, I'm on top of everything instead of forgetting things and asking people to repeat themselves. It's been over a decade since I started looking at/watching porn and this feels like this is how I truly am. (link to post)
Abstaining from PMO (though I had a bit of a slip with P a little over a week ago) has drastically changed my life, in less than a month. Now that my brain feels back in balance, I'm brimming with confidence. I'm not slouching anymore. I'm comfortable with myself. I love interacting with people. I think quickly on my feet. I'm funny! I've bought over 200 dollars worth of dress shirts and nice shorts. This will be my regular wardrobe, replacing metal t-shirts and workout shorts. Girls are giving me looks now. Hot girls have done double-takes. I notice girls glancing in my direction, twirling their hair, and all these subtle "look at me" signs.
It's like an underworld of sexual tension that I haven't experienced since high school. As I sit here writing this, there's a girl (19ish-looking) in a booth next to me who is twirling her hair and periodically glancing in my direction. I'm getting aroused just thinking of her running her cute, petite hands through her flowing dark hair. Last week I went on a blind date, set up by a friend. Cute girl, really cool, but not my type. But it was great to be officially "out there" again.
I'm becoming more "mature" by the day (by virtue of now caring about how I come across to people). Girls are everywhere I go. Opportunities everywhere. By opportunities, I don't only mean chances to talk to girls; I also mean chances to act confident, to give her a look, to see if she's looking back. If she's not, that's OK. She may be having a bad day, or she may not like my look. Whatever the case, it's perfectly OK. More girls around the corner.Over the past week, I've thought about porn for about 10 seconds. I've reconnected my home internet and haven't felt tempted at all.
I can only think about real girls. How they look, smell, walk. My random make-out session (see last entry) shocked me into life. I want real girls/women. Not gonna lie - I'd love to get with a young thing (19-20). My sexual future is looking infinitely more promising than it did a mere 3-4 weeks ago.This is so much fun.
I never thought I had ED...I managed to have sex with my wife. I just wanted porn and masturbation out of my life. Boy, was I wrong. Since my recovery my erections are way bigger, fuller and longer and the head is flared, my wife comments each time. I also remain erect even after orgasm and think I could keep it up for a loooong time. My morning wood is also bigger and fuller, I just shrug and laugh each morning , now that I realize I really had ED and was too caught in my addiction to realize it. Keep in mind I am 50, though in pretty good shape for my age and clean living.
Regarding abstaining and music: My hands are able to move more freely, they're less tense and shaky when I play guitar. I can improvise a lot better with certain scales and what not. Also creativity flows out of me when I'm drawing or playing guitar. I learn songs faster than if I were all dull-minded from watching porn. Being honest porn doesn't do much for me. I've come to the point to where I'm just not excited by it. There are times I do slip, but for the most part the cravings aren't as bad as when I started. I think it's more mental for me since I need actual physical touch; that's something that satisfies me. I'm not talking about sex...just holding a girl or something innocent like that.
I was just talking with a friend. He wasn’t a porn addict, but he looked at porn. He didn’t need to abstain from orgasm for a period, but he did just as an experiment. It was interesting to hear his experience from a non-porn addict perspective. He simply said that he felt super focused and felt more like the person he wanted to be. He works in a stressful, fast-paced job that requires leadership and creative skills. He mentioned that he now feels like he is able to do his job effectively and thrive in the environment. He loves self-help and go-getter stuff, so he was thrilled to have been introduced to this. He mentioned that since his experiment, he doesn’t masturbate anymore just because he is bored—because he knows the consequences now. He is having sex with women right now just because his dating life is a lot better and he doesn’t really need to rely on porn. He also says that he doesn’t waste as much semen just for the heck of it anymore. He used to release every single day. Now it’s more like every 3 or 4 days and he notices a difference.
I have been off masturbation to porn for 1/3 of a year (with not that much relapse and if, then generally to mild stimuli). For sexual arousal it's obvious that more intense stimuli = less sensitivity. But, masturbation alone (if PMO, then it's amplified - if too often then fruther amplified), IMHO can somehow modify my brain's reward circuit. Like maybe desensitization. Example from real life: Ordinary things like listening to piano music, eating peaches or drinking green tea - I always loved them. But I noticed, that during last few months the pleasure got somehow more intense. Today we got peaches from our garden and eating them was 'like-orgasm' (obviously not that strong) but longer lasting. It was not just likable, but giving something that orgasm does. Or silence during late evening - I always appreciated those things, but now I'm feeling that veeery good during them. TL;DR IMHO this is reason other than meeting woman/ED/religion that stopping masturbation to porn really pays off.
[A reply] I have noticed some weird things too. I don’t think I am "dulled," because I can still manage to be sharp if I have to be, but I think there was a manic component to how I thought before that might have been associated with my depression. It feels like a pretty fundamental thing to me. It’s difficult to describe, but I notice a difference. It scares me because it feels like I lost something, but then I realize how much sanity I’ve gained. Also, there are aspects of my motivation and intent that seem to be different too. I am less clear on this, but it feels like my motivation to do things is more grounded in "bigger picture" type of thinking rather than going after what feels good in the moment.
It's strange but this is the second time I've gone over two months and this time I feel like I can go on forever. My libido comes and goes but I definitely know its there if I need it. Porn, ultimately has no value. I don't consider going back all that much although the thought comes back from time to time. I think of it like smoking. Would I try one cigarette after years of quitting just to test to see if I am still addicted? Of course not. Porn isn't all that much different. Those neuron pathways are so strong that one image can send you back to binging.
Since quitting, those everyday things like talking to a friend, or seeing a girls smile, have started to take on new meanings. I want to go out, I want to socialize, I want to touch, I want to workout, I want to live. I haven't felt these emotions in 4 years. I was coming to the grips with the fact that life is dark, boring, depressing, and then I die. Fuck that ; Quitting porn has allowed me to change my mindset on the little things in life, which in turn and in time will foster greater and more bountiful rewards
[Two months] I mean so far, I feel like i have changed a lot. Let's do a list of changes after 60+ days:
--I have respect for myself, and I will stand up for myself more, whereas before I would keep quiet, only to regret it later.
--I don't want to have sex with every girl. I do want a connection now. Before, my personality was just "Get Sex!"
--I have no interest in non productive things like playing video games or being online all day for no reason.--My body really bulked up a lot! I'm supposed to be an ectomorph, but I now look somewhere between ectomorph and mesomorph.
--My voice is more relaxed, and it comes from a lower point around my stomach. Before it was high and sounded so scared.--I want to give people value, instead of complaining about what other people lack. I'm less selfish.
--Music sounds so good to me right now. It can make breathless for a second.
--I can think long term now. I already set the date for my 90 day mark, and it doesn't scare me at all. I'm not intimidated. No one is an expert right away, things take practice.
There have been days during this reboot where I feel so lively and fun like I was having whole body orgasms or something, but then there are days when I snap and yell at people to leave me alone. It's been confusing this reboot thing, but I'm gonna stick with it.
[After a month, with a couple of mild-porn relapses] I found a personal mood pattern: the day I masturbate and the day after are great, lots of energies and very optimistic. Then the 2-3 days afterward are terrible, headaches, tiredness, laziness, mild depression at times. If I get through these (which, in the past I always failed to), I sort of balance in a "normal" mood, not too upbeat, but not depressed either, at times willing to engage in difficult tasks. The only big difference is in having more energies for physical activities, that's a sure improvement.
Another small change is that I'm more willing to try new things, I'm thinking of changing my hair and buying different clothes, of different styles. I'm getting morning wood every day and some spontaneous erections too, sprinkled throughout the day. But I never suffered of a lack of potency. Even when masturbating each day I always craved more even after a few hours. I didn't have morning wood though. So, that's a real change.
Just hit the 90-day mark yesterday. Everything has been going so well that I don't even come here much for any support. Doing the challenge was one of the best decisions I've ever made. The benefits I've seen so far:
1) I have had over a dozen people comment on how I've lost weight/look better.
2) I've found more ambition and got lots of jobs done around the house which makes the wife happier.
3) Happier wife and more free time means a lot more sexytime. (In the last 3 months we've probably had more sex than in the whole year prior to nofap).
4) I can't say enough about how much better our relationship has been since cutting the PM out. It's incredible.
5) General health and mood seem to be much better. I know for a fact that I will not go back to the way I was so I'm going to keep my counter going.
Being about 60 days in, I can confirm that those periods of hopeless depression are GONE. Completely gone. And the moments I am down are usually very fleeting, and are often down to what I've eaten more than anything. (So eat good!) This has cured me of depression.
Three years this coming October for me with no porn, not counting a slip about 1.6 years ago. Occasionally I still feel a slight pull, not very much now. About a month ago I came across a porn site, saw the various links and noticed that I really had no desire to click any of them and follow them. I was quite surprised because the links had some very graphic photos, but the huge mega-magnetic pull that once existed around those images just wasn't there. That was a really nice feeling.
I used to be depressed all the time, a loner with no friends, which caused me to keep relapsing. I've been struggling with avoiding porn/masturbation for almost two years now. These days I feel amazing when I'm not PMOing- healthy, no more depression, confident. I sleep well, have more energy. About 1-2 months in, I feel clarity and so focused...like who i really am. However, wet dreams, sexual dreams without orgasm and night masturbation always seem to lead to a relapse the next day. I like to feel good again so I'm going to keep striving.
I stutter a lot. I also recently diagnosed myself as having tourette's syndrome because I always do random noises and movements. When I was at 11 days no pmo, stuttering was down about 80%. Tourette's syndrome or the sudden movements/noises I was doing was down 80-85%.
[Posted on a "depersonalization" forum] I have had DP for 1.5 years, however My DP has since gotten a lot better as of about 3 months ago. I am about 65% back to normal. I noticed that when I developed DP, my porn use increased quite a bit. I had begun watching porn every day or every other day, and I was watching quite extreme stuff. In that brain-fog state, I wasn't really aware of anything in my own life. Everything felt like a dream so I wasn't noticing this pattern.
I read something about excessive porn use being linked to social anxiety and depression. I decided it might be a good idea that I stopped. Initially I only lasted about 3 weeks and then caved, getting back heavily into both (I had to make up for lost time :P).But I noticed something during those 3 weeks. Although I still found it hard to connect with people, my social anxiety had decreased DRAMATICALLY. I could have conversations with people no problem and I was generally more excited about life. I remember my brother telling me something that made me laugh for ages, and it felt incredible to really feel that amidst DP.
For a month I abstained successfully, and noticed an exponential gain in my relationships, in forming new ones. I was focused and determined to set goals and accomplish them, and was finding pleasure in the little things in life. My Achilles heel was that I thought the fight with this thing was over and abandoned what got me to one month.
I have personal experience with both ADHD and compulsive behavior with daily porn viewing. I have ADHD (inattentive type). Based on research and personal experience, I believe that the condition of ADHD predisposes one to addictive behavior that gives "dopamine hits". ADHD is a condition of low dopamine, hence, motivation in general is a problem. I used masturbation to self-soothe (I'm guessing) as a kid and continued to use it and porn as an adult.
I have stopped using porn completely, and yes, I still have ADHD. However, I feel way better about myself. My confidence, in terms of feeling much more in control over my decisions in life, has improved substantially. Now, I can address my ADHD more directly.
It’s getting close to 2 months (60 days) now...without orgasm or masturbation, or even looking at porn. A change in my environment (I moved out of the house and left the computer desk and chair I would masturbate in at home), helped considerably. Also support from friends has helped immensely. The emotions and feelings have just been pouring out lately. I've grown close to an amazing girl whom I care for deeply and she’s very supportive
(Day 125. Age 50+) Benefits of Being PM Free:
1. Not Consumed with always thinking about Sex. As soon as I turned on the computer, and after having checked my email, headline news, and how my favorite sports teams were doing, I was off to the my “favorite” porn sites to get my daily fix. Depending on the day, it could end up in a porn binge.
2. I’m No Longer an angry person. Whenever I watched porn it would make me angry … usually at my wife for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I think subconsciously I was treating her poorly because she didn’t look or act out like the women in the movies / clips that I watched.
3. ED problems that I had for the last 18 months due to my addiction to high speed internet porn are pretty much all gone.
4. Improved Sex Life. My wife and I are enjoying great sex. We are incorporating Kareeza and are enjoying the bonding behaviors that go with it. Our lovemaking is slow and sensual. We are connecting emotional, mentally, and spiritually.
5. I get more work done. Since I’m not wasting time online viewing porn, I get more work done. In fact, I’m way ahead of my schedule so that many of my “Honey-do’s” are done before Saturday / Sunday – which means I can watch football!!
6. Women are no Longer viewed simply as sex objects. I’m no longer looking at women and wondering what they look like naked and what they’re like in bed. I now see them as ladies and am beginning to appreciate their outer and inner beauty.
7. I have a new love and appreciation for my wife of 30 years. Because I am no longer looking at porn, we have grown closer and are enjoying doing things together as couple, both in and out of the bedroom.
8. I am a whole lot happier as a person!
9. FREEDOM!!! I got my life back. I’m no longer a slave to my addiction!
10. No more viruses on my computer
Today is my first week free of porn after about 12 years of daily use (I'm 26) … I'm avoiding anything sexually arousing while browsing on the net, and I'm cuddling more with my girlfriend. We had sex one time since then and it was a lot more personal, sensual and rewarding than it used to be. It's interesting to realize that it was my porn addiction that eventually ruined my previous relationship of six years. I don't really mind, because my current girlfriend and I are much more suited to each other. I'm with her since 2 years. But it was frightening to see that even though number two had a much better and healthier mindset about sexuality than my ex-girlfriend, our relationship was deteriorating in the same pattern as my previous one.
I don't depend on sleep as much anymore. I can wake up in the morning and not feel over-exhausted or anxious to start the day. I can manage on 6 hours sleep compared to the 9 I needed before.
After the first week my voice is less nasally and deeper...Anyone else experiencing this. (LINK TO THREAD)
I've been attempting nofap for at least 140 days now, having some success and some set-backs; but this is one thing that I've noticed on all of my streaks, that my vocal range increases. Highs are easier to hit and lows just come naturally. My voice is more powerful and ceases to be shaky as it's been I guess since I started pmo. Whatever anyone says about placebo, this one thing, for me, is a completely measurable, tangible benefit from nofap that goes away quickly after a few relapses. No one can tell me it's 'all placebo'.
Masturbation is a real mystery. People like to talk about how it's healthy and a human need. That may be so for some, but it negatively affects me, especially when combined with porn. Cutting out porn improves my energy, skin and drastically improves the under-eye circles.
Just over a week ago I noticed some red spots on my penis. It felt a little tingly or itchy but not too bad. The feeling would come and go. So to be on the safe side I went and got myself tested. I got tested for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhoea and chlamydia. Blood sample, urine sample and two penile swabs. All very quick and not half as painful as the stories made out when I was a teenager.One thing that the nurse did say was to stop using shower gel to wash my penis as it interferes with the natural fauna i.e. the naturally occurring bacteria that look after everything. Now before my reboot I would have disregarded this advice as crazy. I didn't wash my penis with shower gel then it would stink. But I learned a while ago that the stink was basically due to dried semen. Upon ejaculation most of it is sent out of the penis and it's fine. But when masturbating, my penis would be held vertically and some of the semen would always get onto the head of my penis and when left under the foreskin for even a few hours without being washed it would smell pretty bad.The upside of not ejaculating to porn is that my smell is completely neutral. So for now, instead of giving it my daily thorough and vigorous wash with shower gel (albeit non scented shower gel) I am now just pulling back the foreskin and firing water at it with the shower head. No gel, soap or anything else. It's actually working really well. I feel just as clean as I always did, if not more so, because I am not suffering from neuro-chemical chaos and brain fog.
I completely stopped biting my nails. A dumb habit I picked up a long time ago and couldn't get rid of. I completely did not realize this fact until week 2.
Let's take this slowly. You seem confused, a lot! I'll first explain some of the benefits that others and I felt from nofap. My longest streak was 21 and I'll tell you what happened in just those 3 weeks. Important to mention that I take nofap and noporn as one and the same, because at least for me one paves the way for the other. So to proceed...
- More energy, in fact the best feeling is when I am horny. I accomplish so much in terms of productivity. It's just important not to > think about sex at all. Whenever a thought comes to your mind you just replace it with some other non arousing. That way you also develop control over your thoughts and as we all know 'You are as you think'. By thinking about pussy you become a pussy :P
- Better concentration and memory. I can easily take on complex mathematical or engineering problems and solve all my homeworks without help from others. Whereas before it was the opposite. More importantly I remember names when people introduce themselves to me and I don't get easily distracted. This will definitely help your ADHD
- Better, shorter sleep. Before I needed 9.5 hours to feel rested. Nowadays it's 6, but when I managed to reach 3 weeks I would feel perfect with just 5.5 hrs of sleep. More vivid dreams. They are like movies and I have them almost every night. Before it was once in 6 months. I don't feel so tired anymore. Before I would always feel extremely exhausted no matter how much I sleep or eat.
- Deeper voice and more muscle mass. That's self explanatory. Testosterone doesn't get wasted down the drain so it can be used for > something more useful like defining your manhood through physiology.
- Confidence. When I walk down the street I don't feel uncomfortable anymore. I can speak to anyone, girls too without stuttering and feeling shy. It's not that I became arrogant, I just regard myself on footing with others whereas before I always felt inferior. Social anxiety completely flew out of the window.
- I am much more ambitious and motivated. I have goals that I am reaching one by > one and when I work on something I give the best of myself. No more > that feeling that I can't do it, or that it is too difficult. I have that 'Yeah, let's do this shit' attitude.
- Clear thinking. I finally feel like a human being because I can think > and analyze things. No more mental fog and thoughts racing through > my mind that I cannot control
- Oddly enough my nose is running anymore. Now I can breath and have more stamina. Before, when I run i felt my heart was going to explode. I feel there is some relation between porn/fapping and weakening of the heart.
- No more pimples on face and on the back
Overall more positive and even idealistic. No more pessimism and laziness
Hello nofappers and lurkers,I just hit 30 days. Aww yeeeah.Okay, there's so much I want to talk about, but I'll try to keep it brief.Before I say anything else, I want to say this: nofap didn't fix any of my issues. I still have them. But I have experienced some awesome benefits:
First off, I finally have energy again! I haven't felt this good since high school. It's not like I'm Hulk or anything, but I finally have extra energy to DO stuff. I spent most of my early 20's in a state of low energy and mild depression. I attribute like 80% of it to the fact that I was PMOing twice a day. Now that I've stopped, I've been exercising, being more social, and generally enjoying life.
- really digging on all the women. There are women everywhere! Many are gorgeous. When I was PMOing constantly, I'd criticize women in my head. Like, how they weren't attractive. Now my body just tells me who I find attractive, and some of it surprises me!
- Again, I'm not magically a massive player. But the part of me that is good with women is easier to access. And I have a LOT more courage. I think it comes down to fear vs desire -- which is stronger? The fear hasn't changed much yet. But the desire is finally tipping the balance... towards taking action. And that's an awesome feeling.
- Thirdly, and most importantly, I finally have gotten my life together. My job is challenging and rewarding, and I was able to meet my challenges. Fueled by my energy from nofap, things just seem much more... possible. I'm thinking bigger and bigger!
- A little bit of advice... Cravings did get pretty bad a few times.
- The best thing I did for myself was to be busy. I usually have a good way to channel my energy. It makes it a LOT easier not to relapse. Exercise is a GREAT way to spend extra energy.
- I have relapsed once so far. It was because I edged. DONT EDGE. Just don't.
THis is one of the best online communities I've found so far! You guys rule, thanks to everyone who gave me support. I try to give back!
Just a thought bubble that I've been wanting to post but keep on forgetting.
When we're rebooting, a lot of time is spent on the journals talking about how much the women are so much more attractive when we go without PMO and normally we talk about attractiveness as in physical attractiveness. I'm just wondering if anyone else is noticing other qualities that make a woman attractive?
I was watching the Olympic Games and something weird happened when I'm watching female sports. I ogled at fit and hot bodies. For once I started to think that the fact that female athletes are hot not only because they're attractive but because they're good at their sport. If you take tennis as an example. Short skirts and legs are good and everything, but I never noticed how sexy they are when they've got that focused look when waiting for their opponent to serve.
And I'm finding that's increasingly the case around me as well. I saw a hot and attractive older woman the other day and started thinking "Cougar" or "milf". Then I saw that she's holding hands with and smiling at her waddling three year old son. She was, in other words, just being the m in milf and her hotness went off the charts. I've saw a cute university student walked past me the other day to the train station and got a boner off the fact that she was holding a thick economics textbook (Looks like I dig smart girls).
Not saying that a hot ass or a nice rack doesn't attract my attention. But I guess that's a byproduct of watching porn. You see a girl walk into the scene and you don't give a rat's ass about what she's like, what her interests are, all you know is that she's got a nice (insert body part here) and she's going to get nailed. And then that mindset transfers itself to how you see women in real life. Then you go rebooting and this mindset starts to wear off.
What does everybody else think?
After quitting porn, I'm finding that I really don't want to do any of the depraved things I've seen in porno movies to actual women. Really, I just want to have someone to talk to, hold their hand, and cuddle with. I mean, yah I wanna get laid too, but that isn't so much the focus in my mind anymore.
I know what you mean. I have pretty much totally abandoned my old fetish driven ways of looking at woman, and it only took a little more than 30 days without PMO to get there. I'm not saying that I don't still look at women, I'm just saying that I am very content with my spouse and am no longer distracted by my former fetishes so much anymore.
It's good to feel free from all of that.
As crazy as it seems many guys report less acne acne and clearer skin. The following thread contains many such claims:
- Yes - it has been the first thing that I have noticed about no fap. My face is perfect and previous acne on my buttocks has cleared up completely.
- In the summer, I was 25 days fap-free, and my skin was definitely glowing.
- I am in my 20`s and have noticed this and had a few people comment on it. Just brighter skin somehow.
Now, you all know that I stutter a lot (as I have continuously wrote). I also recently self diagnosed myself as having tourette's syndrome because I always do random noises and movements. When I was at 11 days no pmo. Stuttering was down about 80%. Tourette's syndrome or the dudden movements/noises I was doing was down 80-85%.
This is myself saying what I experienced so from some people out there, don't say I'm wrong and that I blame pmo for a lot of my problem. I blame pmo for causing major problems such as stuttering, tourette's syndrome, low confidence, social anxiety. By stopping pmo, I can gain increased confidence I need to cure my social anxiety such as talking to people, making friends etc.
Now for the stuttering and tourette's syndrome I have found that high dopamine level can cause these abnormalities. Also in the article lists many other sicknesses such as depression, anxiety, and nervousness. Now I don't know if pmo and continuous high dopamine levels have a connection. I would think that dopamine levels in the brain spike only during a guy's pmo session. But there's still lots of question unanswered. I will leave the article link below and you can decide for yourself. Maybe we can learn something if we generate a discussion. (LINK)
So, many of us have already experienced the really vivid and sometimes lucid dreams (actually mine have tapered off since day 30 tbh), but what else have you noticed? For me, I've noticed that comedy is at least 10 times as funny as before. I really laugh so hard compared to when I was in trapped in the numbness of fap-fog when I would barely smile. It's really fun! (Victory! Dopamine receptors are returning!) - Cool side-effects
I always thought it was strange how people would say they would get chills listening to some music. Well now, after a while of nofap, I get them too. And by Jove, its a glorious feeling.
I'm convinced my voice got deeper. Not sure when it started though. I haven't noticed it recently, but I think I'm flatlining, so maybe that has stopped it being deeper? I don't really have any hard evidence, just suspicions. LINK to thread - Does this make your voice sound deeper?
PMO is an energy sponge. While abstaining from it won't automatically get you a girlfriend, a better job, more money, help you move house, become more creative, etc. it unlocks the drive to do those things.
Think of a car. You know how to drive the car; you've already learned how to drive. You also know the exact destination you want to get to. You get in the car with all the will in the world of driving to your destination. You turn the keys, and the car doesn't start. There is no petrol in the car. No matter how many times your turn the ignition and press the pedals, the car won't move.
PMO drains your body fuel. You might know exactly what you need to do to make your life better, but you can't seem to muster the energy and focus to do it.
Look at me. I want to move out. I want a career change. I want to become fluent in guitar and piano. I have a grand collection of books on my shelves, about 10% of which I have actually had the patience to finish or the ability to remember reading. PMO takes away my focus and concentration, and tricks me into thinking that these things are not worth the effort that it will take, and that I'm not capable of achieving them anyway.
I'm not sure how many times we need to be going over this stuff. It's all on YBOP. Your pre-frontal cortex is the sensible logical you, telling you to improve your life and move on. Your limbic system is the imbalanced, undisciplined you that wants the easy option. PMO tips the balance in favour of the limbic system winning every time. PMO helps you back the wrong horse time and time again, despite your ability to take into consideration all the things your higher logical functioning is telling you.
Rebooting fills your car with petrol. Then, when it's done, you turn the keys and you go. You still have to drive the car, and you still have to remember where to go, but it's possible now. It's doable.
Regarding the 'Motivation is bullshit, just do it anyway' concept, it's a nice idea, but paradoxically it's somewhat of a misnomer. You can't just 'do something anyway' regardless of motivation, because all actions are dictated by motives. There is a reason for every minuscule action you have ever done, and will ever do. Your brain feeds you this reasoning, and the body responds.
Don't have the motivation to workout today? Fuck motivation! Do it anyway! That's the scenario right? Well, if you take any conscious action that is contrary to your current emotional state, then there must be an underlying motivation to take this course of action, or you wouldn't do it. You still have the motivation to get fit - you want to look good, you want girls to pine after you. The difference is, you don't feel like it is worth the effort. So you're not really talking about denouncing motivation, you talking about overriding your sympathetic emotional state that keeps you constantly looking for a comfort blanket.
I think the theory of treating pain and discomfort as a physiological discipline that reaps genuine progression is much closer to the mark. It's something worth exploring. Just remember that we need the motivation to take those actions, and use it for harnessing the mental strength to override your current emotional whims.
Is it all porn's fault?
We're all unique cases, despite certain overlapping traits. Some of us may still be fully-functioning human beings with independence, a good job and even a partner. But in my case, PMO has imbalanced my brain in favour of the limbic system to such a degree that my personal, professional, social and familial lives have all suffered drastically as a consequence. I've had my foot on the gas all along (ambition/motivation) but I didn't have any petrol (energy/discipline). Rebooting (fully and successfully) will help me refuel. Then I can drive all the way to my destination.