- Rebooting Basics
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What Visitors Say About This Material
Submitted by Marnia Robinson on Mon, 11/29/2010 - 10:35
A few years ago (around 2008/2009), people started surfacing on the internet who were freaked out that they had erectile dysfunction, but at the same time could get a solid erection to varying degrees of extreme porn with the help of some good old deathgrip masturbation. The weird thing was that, in some cases, thousands of people responded to these forum posts, saying they had the same exact symptoms.
Now, taking those symptoms into account, people figured they've desensitised themselves to real women by escalating to evermore extreme genres of porn and masturbating in a way that the stimulation of no woman's vagina could match. They hoped/guessed that if they stopped watching porn and masturbating for significant amount of time, this desentisation might be reversed.
These people, who back then didn't have YBOP and dozens of other forums on the subject thought they were alone: the only weird-ass freaks on the planet who couldn't get it up to a real women, but found disgusting genres of porn a turn-on. A lot of them were virgins. Some of them were failing for years with real women which devastated their confidence. They figured that they would never be able to have normal fulfilling relationship with a women. Believing themselves to be freaks of nature, they secluded themselves from society and became hermits. It's really interesting to me, how many heavy PMO addicts work from home and are computer specialists... Sometimes I wonder what was first - chicken or the egg (porn addiction or the seclusion from society)?
Anyway, the no PMO thing helped reverse the porn-induced ED of these guys, and besides normal libido they started reporting other positive changes too: Depression and social anxiety going away, increased confidence, the feeling of fulfillment and being on top of the world...
I'm one of those guys. I had several failures with women, starting in the middle of puberty. This became the single most devastating thing to my psyche. In this modern world, where there's hardly a commercial, a movie, a TV show, or a conversation without sexual innuendos, I was constantly reminded of my weirdness. Every time I saw a sexual scene in the movie I thought to myself, "Wow, how easy it is for that guy, is that how's it supposed to be? I could never get erect so easily, even with such a beautiful woman". When I saw a picture of a beautiful naked women in the middle of a casual magazine I thought to myself, "People find this so hot, but I can't get aroused if a pretty woman's not doing extreme things in a pornographic movie. I must be so weird". Similarly with normal everyday sexual jokes or conversations with friends or strangers. The point is I was reminded constantly that I'm a failure as a man on a very fundamental level, and I seemed to be the only one.
A year before I started giving up porn, I even went to see psychiatrists and psychologists who diagnosed me with severe social anxiety disorder and depression, and wanted to put me on antidepresents, which I never agreed to.
When via YBOP, I found out that the central problem of my life that was on my mind 24/7 could be reversed, the heaviest rock was lifted from my heart. When I went on my first NoFap streak (~80 days) I started noticing similar super powers as reported by others. Is that really so weird? The central thing destroying my confidence and making me feel alone on the planet of 7 billion, was being reversed and it turned out to be very common. Today, on my 109th day of a streak, I feel happy, confident, social, smart, capable of meeting any challenge, etc., etc.,...
TL;DR - The bottom-line is, I'm not at all surprised by the changes people report. Severe porn-induced ED can be a devastating thing to one's psyche in the modern world. I'm also not surprised that others, whose lives weren't so heavily marked by PMO, and/or who abstain from PMO just as a challenge, don't see these benefits. You need to understand what kind of a demographics reported those results in the first place. Sure, some can experience similar effects as a placebo effect, but in a case like mine, you can't really call a removal of the problem placebo effect. It's quite simply the cure. B.G.
It's amazing to read all these stories of people who have gone through the same things I have. I am in week 5-6 of recovery and I can feel myself resuming normality again after using porn for on and off 6 years. Thankfully my libido is returning once more and I am feeling the benefits. Besides the return of libido I have noticed many other positive effects:
- Firstly, there's the obvious one that I feel sexier in myself and this leads to
- I get a lot more attention from girls now; confidence really does seem to shine
- I also seem to get along better with people in general. Again, due to the confidence that freedom has brought me, my friends and I have only gotten closer
- I feel more energetic. When I go to the gym I can always push myself further.
I am a student in Pharmacology (basically the study of receptor dynamics and interactions) and Neuroscience (more a minor for me), and whilst I was reading the posts here and also reading my course, I started to notice several links between areas of neuroscience/receptor theory and what people here are experiencing...[material about brain plasticity omitted] G.J.
What an excellent resource you guys have put together. The format is incredibly sleek, efficient, and easy to use. It's hands down the best resource for information surrounding this.
I saw a CNN article recently about porn addiction and Christianity, and my first thought was frustration. Getting the word out is good, but I don't like that the association of fighting porn addiction is a religious activity. They should put this site up as a story. The science is WAAAAY more interesting than what Christians are doing. Most people are pretty conditioned to associate religions with flat-earth hypotheses. R. H.
This is brilliant. I have struggled with porn for four years and I want to break the habit. Knowing the biology and science behind it is like a key to unlock the door to freedom. S.G.
A huge thanks to Gary Wilson for all his wonderful science and information collected at YBOP. This process is indeed worth it. My life has been enhanced in more ways than I am probably aware of. You will see a real change if you stick with it. It won't seem like it until it happens, then you'll look back with hazy memories of the dark struggles.
I started this quest as a lazy, unmotivated, self-deprecating, self-loathing, lost, fog-headed, self-righteous, withdrawn, self-centered, empty shell of a human being. I'm proud to say that I continue this quest as a happier, outgoing, connected, joyful, driven, focused, centered and hopeful man. O.M.
Thanks for all the time and energy you've dedicated to this issue. Seeing how desperate people are to share their stories and seek answers, I can only imagine the number of people you have helped—and how many you ultimately will. I.A.
Hello from Chile. I continue to follow the work you've done. I am clean and clear, and let's just say my eyes are adjusting to the light. Good luck, and you're making a difference. Thanks. F.D.
Excellent articles. Thank you. You have given me the extra motivation I needed to make an overdue change in my life. I've struggled to believe that porn could be an addiction but your articles broke things down into science I could understand.
I am an executive and otherwise live a very normal life. I rarely drink, never have taken drugs, and workout three days a week. Yet I still got hooked into internet porn and went down the same road as many people you have written about or heard comments from.
Your frankness and maturity in dealing with the issue are outstanding. Again -- thank you for your work and keep writing. You are helping people. A.S.
You and Gary seem to have the only logical attitude on the subjects of porn and addiction out of any of these anti-porn websites and public activists that I’ve seen. There’s an uneasy dialectic between the 'anti-porn Christians' and the 'anti-porn feminists’, which seems to encompass the totality of the 'debate' on pornography in the public sphere. What you guys are doing is a breath of fresh air. Some people might be tempted to say 'ah, but those opposing sides, the feminists and the Christians, can be synthesized! We can find the truth by incorporating the best of both of them!' or they might prefer one side to the other... but all of this is nonsense.
I’ve been wavering back and forth between those two sides for about 5 years, like a boxer, groggy from taking lefts and rights to the brain. After all I’ve seen, most of these people who spend their time fighting against pornography strike me as charlatans and hypocrites, or perhaps just very naive people who want their 'truths' to be factual (the situation regarding both sides reminds me a lot of the character of Angelo in Shakespeare’s 'measure for measure'). What you guys are saying is completely unlike either of what's coming from those two poles. M.B.
Wow. I just finished reading every single part of your website. I also viewed and listened to all the video and audio clips. I'm very impressed. Thank you for opening my eyes to a public health problem I've never even thought of. T.S., MD
I wanted to thank Gary Wilson (and others like him, including the active members of this forum [www.yourbrainrebalanced.com]) from the bottom of my heart, for standing up for this issue (PIED) and helping to educate the misguided men of this world. Education WILL cure the demise of man. Aware parents of this generation will teach their sons that porn and masturbation can lead to permanent and serious harm to your life including friendships, relationships, self-image, confidence, and your general outlook on life. J.A.
Just want to let you guys know that what you are doing is wonderful, and critically important. I have no idea where my life would be right now if I had never found YBOP, and I'm sure countless others feel the same. S. G.
Your Brain on Porn is a ‘secular’ website that catalogs the damning nature of porn by virtue of what it does, physiologically, to the brain. I’ve pointed several men to this material who’ve thanked me, finding it frankly more helpful than a website quoting Bible verses about sexual purity. The problem with those Bible verses, often, is that folks stuck in porn already know them, but have become stuck in a dopamine addiction that overrides reason and their commitments to holiness. Ironically, many people find that when the subject is de-spiritualized a bit that it’s easier to deal with it and break free. The website includes testimonials from people whose lives were transformed by breaking free. Every pastor should have this website in their toolkit, but so should every friend, and every person.
Must thank you and your husband for your amazing and awesome work!! A. G.
(9 months) It's been great, and I learned so much here. I developed here, and gained many perspectives. Now, I have nothing left to add really (It's all been said before). I'll never forget that my brain will always want that excitement, but at the same time I feel I can put this behind me now. This isn't me saying that I will never slip again, but instead accepting that I'm human and shit will sometimes happen. Thank you Gary. C.F.
(Age 18) Today is day 98, with one relapse, but I didn't binge since it. Anyways, I feel that I'm still going through some changes these last few weeks, but the changes are not anything negative. I said that I felt good in my previous post, but I gotta tell you guys that I feel even better as i write this one. It's just so damn unbelievable how much I have changed since last year. I consider it a miracle that I even found out about YBOP....My thanks to you guys can't be expressed in words. A.G.
I loved the information I got from the Your Brain on Porn videos. It really helps to understand how your brain works when it comes to porn. C.J.
I wanted to thank you for your great website and the renewing breath of fresh air that your candid discussions have brought me. I feel myself judging myself less now that I understand my human chemistry. The way that you have addressed this whole topic of orgasm and sex feels powerful and peaceful and I'm grateful. E.P.
Holy shit. I still can't believe it. I still can't believe I found YBOP. I can't believe it took me this long! After nearly 13 years of suffering in silence, of thinking it was my fault, of strained sexual relationships, of (I still can't BELIEVE I didn't put it together) not realizing that porn was causing my inability to respond to beautiful, naked, sensual women lying right next to me in bed, I can't tell you what a relief it was to find this website, and this group of men. Reading all of the stories and blogs over the last five days has been an inspiration, and so reassuring, I can't begin to find the words. M.K.
I am just writing this to thank the works of the founders of this whole website and it's affiliates. I always knew I had a bad habit, but without seeing so much evidence from so many people, I would have never gotten rolling. L.D.
I have a friend who is a very competent psychiatrist, and I've argued with him for years about the cause of this crazy ED. I didn't know what it was, but I also knew that throwing Viagra, etc. at the problem wasn't the solution, to which he disagreed. Well, I recently talked with him after a long while and referred him to YBOP, and he soon thereafter conceded defeat in our little debate. And, he is really looking forward to where the state of this new body of work which you and Gary are pioneering will be in the years to come. Such amazing, groundbreaking, and courageous work that the two of you are doing - thank you so much! G.T.
A quick note for you - I want to express my respect to you for your investigations and sharing them in such a clear and accessible manner, as well as literally step on a TED stage to present them. All in one, congratulations and thank you. M.A.
(Age 38 - ED recovery) It only remains for me now to thank you INFINITELY for all this work you've done and for spreading the word rather trying to make some kind of profit out of it. My new girlfriend asked me to thank you too! I can't bear to think how the rest of my life would have unfolded if I'd continued with these problems. I was approaching the point where I thought it would be less stressful and frustrating if I were to just forget about the prospects of building up a proper fulfilling relationship, and basically put a line through my sexuality in order to be (relatively) at peace with it. Over the last ten years or so I've had various scans (like MRI), cerebro-spinal fluid analysis, endocrine analysis, nerve conduction studies (electromyograms), consulted a urologist, a sexologist and a psychologist. Not a single one has asked me about porn usage. I think there's a real problem here. For what it's worth, I'm doing what I can in my own way to spread the word too.
So much great info. I've read tons of it. I read the .pdf file containing all those progress reports from top to bottom, word for word. A.G.
Showed my close friend the TED Talk video.At the end of the video we had one of the most open conversations we've ever had. By the end we both felt determined to change. I now have a wingman in this campaign and it really makes it easier. I think one of the biggest takeaways from the TEDTALK is that I no longer felt as embarrassed or ashamed about my problem. It gave me strength to understand what was happening and how to change. It made me comfortable talking about this with my friend. We had such a productive day yesterday! We're no longer just smoking joints, playing VGs and TV hours on end.
After 13 weeks here, and no more porn use, I have a much better practical understanding of the basics of brain chemistry. So I now have at least basic knowledge of my moods, what triggers anger/depression and what mental changes to expect from the chemicals released from various activities including sex. Knowledge is power. F.C.
I found the "Rebooting" information at YBOP through a random search one day and it has changed my life in ways I never thought possible. I watched the series of vids and the brain-chemistry explanation at YBOP and this was the turning point and it gave me the tools of understanding to help to fight a serious addiction. Today, I am 70 days free of P/M/O.
After years of frequent PMO, hours of relationship therapy, and general relationship 'hell', these concepts speak to me like a lighthouse in a sea of misinformation and useless knowledge. I hadn't focused on porn for around a year, but after an unpleasant binge my rational mind told me it was time to give this up for good (otherwise I feel I could never have a meaningful relationship again). Our society, imho, needs to wake up quickly to these issues, especially given the sexualisation of our culture and the dominance of the internet. T.F.
Your site is great. I searched high and low concerning this topic, and it is definitely the best I ever found. M.J.
I found this website I really got a lot of necessary motivation and energy from all the information there. Especially from the six-part series about porn addiction which explained so much more to me. Thank you, Gary. I think the most valuable information to me was the part about the loss of dopamine receptors, caused by addicition, and what this means to the system. The series made me get the bigger picture. It felt like I could see the whole situation from above, seeing myself and the extent of the addiction. D.I.
Gary has joined all the dots, and no one is properly challenging any of the dots he has joined, but they just don't like the big picture. A. S.
I have always suspected my ED was caused by porn use. Something in my brain told me that, like a little bird in a dark corner crying for help. Now that I have found this web site I know that voice was right. I will recover. It does not matter how long it will take, I will safe myself from this nightmere. Thank god there is someone who understood the situation and gives important information about it.
They give us a fast internet connection, porn, and than when we are screwed they try to sell us viagra. This is another deep abyss people can get lost without know what is really happening to them. We must inform people. thank you.. from the bottom of my heart. J.O.
I want to thank you for this site. Since I read your posts (as many as I had time and energy to) 148 days ago, I have not once felt lust or wanted to look at porn. Having read the articles on the brain, I just quit the same day, and haven't looked back since. Again, thank you. I'm a woman, 32 years old, in Sweden. S.G.
I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of truly worthwhile Internet sites, and yours is one of them. T. K.
After having problems in the bedroom with my ex, I actually went on Yahoo Answers looking for people experiencing similar problems to mine, and I stumbled across the 'Your Brain on Porn' website. After just watching the Youtube video links it felt to me like an epiphany! I think that 'Your Brain on Porn' is probably THE best porn related website I've ever found!! D. S.
Just wanted to say....Thanks and God bless you. Your website has given me very new direction. I was totally lost. A.G.
Thanks to both you and Gary for the information. If I hadn't stumbled across YBOP I would still be in the miserable rut I was in for many years.
I consider the information on your site invaluable and will forward your info on to as many as I can. V.R.
Thanks to Marnia for all her time and help and Gary for all his research and dedication. I can honestly say the day I found yourbrainonporn.com was one of the most important days of my life. C.R.
YBOP has been incredibly helpful and without it I think I'd probably still be worrying what was wrong with me! Thanks to you and your husband I've been off porn for just over a month now and don't think I'll ever look back. J.K.
I believe you are an absolute genius, Gary. You are helping millions of men to solve ED problems without having people to take any drugs.
This is what is happening to me: Following your reboot program in less than a month I have made more progresses than with boxes of Cialis and Viagra.
You deserve recognition at worldwide level for your contribution to welfare of the humankind. I'd love to be part of this and help you spread your theories all over the world, to people who do not speak english. Everybody should be aware of the detrimental effects of high speed internet porn on men's soul and penis. Thanks for having improved my life. H. G.
I just want to thank you for this amazing website. It has been a lifesaver and very beneficial as I attempt to rid myself of porn. I'm halfway to my goal and find it's not as difficult as I thought it would be. C.W.
It feels good to know that I am not alone and that there are other people out there that have recovered from this same problem. Thank you so much for working to get the information out there. The information that I have learned may just have saved my life.Y.S.
I just want to thank you and Gary for all the work and energy you put into this site. It's really amazing. M.S.
We are the pioneers. There is a huge porn problem with men in generation y and the subsequent ones and its reaches haven't even begin to be understood or calculated. I predict in five years there will be huge numbers of groups helping people recover from porn addiction, and that this will be a much more popular topic. But for now we're the pioneers navigating this ourselves and trying to fight off this addiction. We're shedding our shackles in order to return to the living. J.A.
Thx so much to YBOP. You are true lightworkers. Thanks to you it's been possible for me to understand myself so much better. You picked me up when I was down and put me back on the right road. Just don't have words for it really, but thanks thousand million times. T.M.
I found accidentally this website and I am really grateful it happened. It was the first time I understood how addicted I am to porn and how it has badly affected my emotional life and especially my sexual life. I'm using your tools and advice to stay away from porn, and I feel quite positive and confident that I can do it. Just using a filter has helped me a lot, and I've already achieved 15 days without porn before having a fall. But I've restarted again and I'm adamant to gain back my sexual and personal life. Thanks for this site, and for the scientific support. L. D.
A lot of positive progress has been made in the past 100 days. I am truly a new person in terms of social skills and extroversion. I can't say that i have had any anxiety recently either. I'm starting to realize the difference between nervousness and anxiety. Anxiety cripples you, while nervousness just prepares you. After suffering from anxiety, i hardly even feel when I'm nervous. It's like the donut analogy in baseball, when you practice with all that weight on your bat and suddenly you lose it, you feel like the bat weighs nothing. Saturday i have to give a speech in front of a lot of people i don't know. while i don't want to do it, I'm not anxious about it. 100 days ago the idea of this would have haunted me for weeks. Also haven't had anxiety when talking to any girls. Maybe again just that nervousness but it goes away after i just start talking. have felt a lot more natural and genuine too. In hindsight, without this community I would truly have been fucked. I probably would have never stopped PMOing, and would never have had the potential to have normal or romantic relationships with women. That is how high my anxiety around women had become. Without this site, I would have just accepted the fact that i suck around women, and that the 11-year old me was better with girls than the 22-year old. T. G.
What started off as a search for information about a recognized problem (porn-related ED) led me to this site and I realized that there just might be more to the picture then first meets the eye. I'm really grateful to the site and its community. By reading the articles, and forum, I feel it's helping to heal me and get me back to where I should be. N.Z.
Whenever I get the mood to see porn, I visit yourbrainonporn.com and it saves me every time :) Thanks to Gary and co. again. D.M.
Last December I came across YBOP, and I have to say it was like a wave of understanding hitting me over and over. That I couldn't rationalize, or philosophize was laid in front of me. S.S.
I wanted to express my deepest gratitude to you for creating Your Brain On Porn. In doing so you have become a pioneer in what is more or less unknown territory. Further, both yourself and Marnia, through your websites and Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, have become a beacon to those suffering porn addiction - your courage, conviction and candidness are nothing less than admirable. I have taken a strong interest in the subject these last few years and the site has been a tremendous and unique resource. I cannot emphasise just how important your work is and will continue to be. The combination of Your Brain On Porn and Reuniting are a timely antidote to many of our woes! M.D.
I am so grateful for this information and community; it really makes lives better! J.N.
I just want to personally thank you for creating YBOP.com. Since discovering this site I've gone from a very depressed state where suicide became increasingly likely to a more positive outlook. I've struggled a lot (and still do) with rewiring from porn but it's on the right track. This weekend I also had the first make out session of my life. I'm 100 % convinced that without your website and the information obtained there this would not have happened. I can safely say that you have saved me from a suicide attempt further down the line and a life in mental misery. I will never meet you, but you have my gratitude for as long as I live! Y.G.
I have a science and medical education, and I strongly believe that this viewpoint needs to get out there. The whole religious/shame approach is total BS imo. We're losing the opportunity to educate young men who are suffering from a physiological problem that is really just within their brains. Basically, I wish I had learned about this 10-15 years ago. I'm still 27 so hopefully it's not too late. L.D.
Marnia and Gary: what you do is extremely important and I'm so happy I've found you and learned so much from you. I wish that more and more people get to realize the meaning of your work. You directly help us get out of the ditch and onto the track to happiness. Not too many people do this. Thank you! M.P.
My fiancee recently joined the site, and I am happy he is finding support, guidance, inspiration through the community here. L.W.
Just watched your TEDx talk. Thank YOU!!!! My wife and I are terrified that we haven't even begun to see the full effects of porn addiction on our society yet. We have a 17-month old little boy and are so afraid for what the future holds for him and are always looking for ways to keep him on the right path. When the time comes, your research will certainly inform our discussions with him on the topic. F.P.
I'm wondering if you've been say... "discouraged" by people working for the porn industry? After all, it's a huge business and if people woke up to the realization that it's damaging to health, they would lose a lot of money. Your site is the only one of its kind as far as I know, and by far the most logical. Most sites speaking against porn are religious zealots it seems. I do still relate to taoist beliefs about it, but I like how you guys inject science into it without religious bias, and without attacking porn or calling it evil and what not. D.M.
You guys are years ahead of any 'experts' on pornography or on addiction. I have to say thankyou so much for putting together such wonderful websites and taking the time and effort to explore this topic. I know eventually this condition will be recognised by the mainstream but you truly are pioneers. C.H.
(Age 37) Whenever I failed with a girl or could not get it up porn was always there to reassure me everything was working as it should so it must have been the booze. Numerous failed relationships and amazing opportunities missed just added to the cycle of porn use. Having discovered Your Brain on Porn I initially thought it was New Age Hippy Pseudo Science, and 'how could this be true?' Despite trying to stop watching porn several times in the past, I was not an addict; I just liked doing it. Who was I harming? Educators, doctors and the media are full of “masturbation is fine”, a green light to spank it until you drop. Denial is a powerful emotion and even now despite saying, “I am a porn addict “ I don't quite believe myself even though I know I am. Survived drink and drugs, and got snagged by the screen in the corner of the room crazy! Having gone back to the site I realised all these guys were experiencing the exact same things that I had over the years . ED with hot girls, withdrawal from friends, and just generally feeling rubbish. Knowing that others are having a shit time is a massive comfort for some reason.
I want to thank you for this site, as it has helped me to objectively analyze my situation without all the psychological mumbo-jumbo. E.G.
I have watched you on videos and heard your voice on the radio casts, Gary, but I have never said Thank You. I am 51 and pretty much a life long P and M user, your work opened my eyes two years ago as to how this can be dealt with if we choose freedom. I wanted to quit before but was not sure it was possible. Thanks again. F.J.
Gary, I wish I could shake your hand personally and thank you for what your site's information has done for me. In less than 6 weeks, the changes already have been electrifying. You are and continue to be a blessing in my life....I never truly understood the natural power of healing without doctors and prescription meds until I found your site. I continue to read many articles and information you have provided and it has slowly (and continues to do so) changed my life. J. B.
Incidentally, I have to take this opportunity to say thank you to both of you for all you've done, both with Cupid's Poisoned Arrow and the YBOP material. You and Gary have really started something :) And, all this material has made a huge difference in my own life. I'm excited to spread the word in both of these areas, and help more people improve their relationships with themselves, and with others :D A.L.
(Age 30, 4 months) It just keeps getting better and better. I am so confident around women now its ridiculous. And its not some kind of sleezy, conceited confidence, but more of a calm, easy sense of self assurance. The old, primitive, natural sexual cues are what turn me on now (like when a woman flips her hair back, walks with a nice, subtle swing of the hips, or smiles at me). The days of porn are over and its influence on my mind has nearly faded into oblivion. You guys hit the nail on the head and I am thoroughly convinced that what you have written about porn, the reward center, overstimulation and sexual functionality to be science FACT. P.H.
Your work is everything to me. I will be forever thankful for that. I still wonder sometimes, what would have happened if i never stumbled upon YBOP. D. G.
My counselor specializes in addiction counseling and I turned him onto YBOP and he seemed interested in it as a non-religious resource for sex addiction recovery. This stuff is taking off now. Young men are gaining their lives back and you and Gary have put in A LOT of work. I am proud to suggest this site to the recovery/addiction/science communities. R.H.
YBOP has been one of the most needed discoveries of my life. D.E.
I just want to say thank god I found your website. Everything clicked when I watched your videos and read through some of the rebooting accounts. I just turned 30 the other day and I am on day 9 of no PMO, after 15 years of addiction. I have high hopes for the future and I am determined to beat this. I am already noticing positive changes, despite the withdrawal symtoms, such as increased alertness and receptiveness to females in real life! T.H.
I just want to say thank you for all the great information on the site. I have been a regular porn user for several years, and I had a few warning signs but I did not understand what was going on. Sometimes I would get an urge to masturbate in bed, but it was hopeless until I went and turned on the computer. J.S.
Thanks Gary for all the work you do in this area. Clearly there is still a lot of contentiousness around these issues, but you've had a massive impact on the discussion and have helped countless guys at least explore the issue for themselves. Whatever the extent that porn alters our brain chemistry (from experience, I happen to believe it is significant), the fact that you are providing a very well researched, objective, non-judgemental position for guys to consider, for very little personal benefit, is admirable. Keep up the great work! A. G.
You are doing an amazing public service, which is needed to guide this generation from all the misinformation floating around. S. T.
Very, very commonsensical stuff - and well explained. I have a good friend who recently heeded the advice of this webpage. Although very attracted to his girlfriend, he could not ejaculate due to years of desensitization from masturbating to internet porn. He eliminated those pathways by not masturbating for a month. Now he always finishes - and sex is better than ever - he tells me. I've had similar problems, and I've talked to many of my friends who have had the same - and they all point to the same thing. It's nice to see research and good explanations that don't just 'confirm' the bias, but actually 'show' how it comes about from an evolutionary point of view. N.S.
I can't think of any other influence in the world that is so distorting to humanity. Other drugs and behaviours may harm the body but when something like this begins to distort what drives us and motivates us in life (love), it is pretty heartbreaking to see the effects of porn - not discounting the efforts and successes many have made by overcoming porn addiction.
While I am disappointed in myself for falling victim to it, I actively avoid it and I am hopeful but it has certainly raised my opposition. It should really be made illegal. I can't rationalise why there should be an opportunity for people to have access to something so damaging. It doesn't sound like it should be an option or choice. Censorship is sounding like a sensible course - even in the mildest form. Why publicise the body for public consumption and feed a natural desire that can so easily spin out of control like sexuality? It divides an individual's devotion to their mate - whether in thought or in deed.
Giving people a choice isn't necessarily giving us freedom - not if you wind up a slave to something mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually and physically destructive. B.W.
What you are doing is breakthrough...and it's about reward circuitry for almost any behaviour or substance. G. J.
YBOP has changed my life. I am no longer a porn addict. I will not be using porn ever again in my lifetime. That's because the life I gained from quitting is so much better! I cannot thank the people here enough- thank you so much! A.G.
Finding this was such a major relief, to finally have answers to the questions I never knew to ask. I'm really grateful. I used to think I'd always be the way I was, that'd I'd just have to accept things and deal with them in my own private way. Now I know, I have a problem, and the great news is...when you think about it...it's not all that difficult to correct. Day 28 and I'm already seeing improvements. F.D.
I turned my life around thanks to this site. I.F.
(400 days) This was the only place I could easily find that had any understanding of my issues. The urologist had no clue and the SLAA was fairly hard to find for a timid addict. YBOP< YBR , SLAA, books friends, making ammends to my GF all together has done the trick. The process continues. Thanks again youve done me an immeasurable service. R. G.
I'm new to the forum. I believe I started watching internet porn at around age 12-13, don't know the exact numbers. Right now I’m 22 years old. The 20 march of 2011 (I was 21 at the time) I came across a link on a forum which linked to www.yourbrainonporn.com and then all the pieces of the puzzle started to come together.
Why I couldn’t get out of my bed in the morning, why I hated my study, why I’d sometimes have social anxiety, why i had such lack of motivation and a just a negative attitude towards everything really. That's the day i found out about my porn addiction.
This day is 7 months and 8 days after the day I found out about my addiction. I'm still recovering and I feel that it's going better and better. My brain I believe though is not yet fully recovered but i feel that mentally I am recovering more and more. I'm starting to get a positive attitude and relapses don't faze me as much as they used to in the beginning.
Since the day I found out a lot of things have changed for me. It's crazy, it's like I’m finally becoming myself again. I've stopped my study (but in a good way), I've moved to my own place, started exercising, changed my habits, hanging out with friends more. Basically what I realized was that I wasn't really going the right direction. But during my addiction i was just underground or something, I realized it that i wasn't happy with what I was doing but just didn't make moves to change anything.
Now there is a question that I want to ask you guys because it sometimes comes to mind with me. For me, I just didn't know I was addicted, I didn't know Porn was addictive. I just didn't think about, not even once. Never. I just masturbated, in the end to high quality streaming movies, starting with pictures in the beginning. I never once thought about this as being an addiction of some kind which could actually influence me in some way. I just wasn't conscious of this behavior, I just did it. Looking back it makes perfect sense because it is of course your limbic brain that controls you to masturbate.
With me I believe that if I wouldn't have come across that link on the 20th of march, I’d still be a zombie (unaware) porn addict. And that scares me. The question of the subject then follows .. what would have happened if I never found out. Seriously, this stuff is a slow killer, the way I used to be, was just like I was not really living or something. And that's what scares me you know, because what if you never find out? I sure as hell was unaware of this, with all pro-masturbation, the general public doesn't know this is happening. They think masturbation is healthy, and so did I. And because it's happening on an unconscious level, I didn’t notice, and was fucking up my brain without me every knowing about, the very essence of what/who you are as a human being.
Nobody is mentioning yet that www.yourbrainonporn.com isn't about "stopping masturbating". It's about restoring your dopamine receptors and making your sexual drive healthy. It's basically about being a healthy sexual man. And challenging the myth that "it doesn't matter what you do". Stopping for someone who has a healthy sexual system is a hell of a lot different than someone who has a brain that is unnaturally wired and starving for dopamine to "feel normal". That's called addiction.
Behavioral addictions work off of dopamine fuck-up just like any other addiction.
I also think that applying this to a badly wired brain keeping an eye on a shortage of dopamine receptors is just the beginning. People are going to realize that social conditioning of any kind for sexual behavior, either over-controlled or under-controlled is wrong.
As it has been said in RSD, "Natural Forms" are the way to go. It's worth it to find out the truth about how we work as men. I no longer trust western society on any of this shit. That goes for food, sex, work, relationships whatever. Brain reward chemistry is there for a reason and hyper stimulation and compulsion can't be "free of harm" just because I need it to be so that my world of beliefs aren't challenged.
This site is perhaps one of the most important ones I've ever visited, or will visit. Thanks for all your sharing and all your support. P.S.
U guys helped so much, and I will always be in debt to you and Marnia. Thank you guys for everything. U really showed me that there is another way of living. Thank u. and good luck with enlightening people!!! E.O.
This is new science...and from what I can tell, this guy is the first person to put it all together and spell out the reason and nature of a "reboot" in layman's terms. Your best bet is to watch the homemade presentation the guy did (actually really good) and then take a look at the rebooters feedback. There is no exact way for this that is the same for everyone, but it's actually all about receptor sites. It's kind of a laydown hand. The guy nailed what's going on.
Look up YOUR BRAIN ON PORN, SIX PART SERIES....YouTube.
Then you combine this with a bunch of other stuff...especially the reality of the triune (three part) brain, and the effect of trauma, sugar, stimulation ...it's outstanding. As you can see, masturbation being "good or bad" is totally and utterly irrelevant. As a completely unrelated and off-topic side note, masturbation was used as a way to shame people for years, and to gain control over them . Again, irrelevant. I'd say it's important to remove this from the topic so as to keep clear on what it's really all about.
This guy decided not to fuck around and totally did his research. Not only that, the site is packed with people doing this, and giving real feedback. Having said that, if in enough denial, it is possible to dismiss it. With denial, anything is possible. Denial starts with a conclusion and works backwards. This guy just parked any bias and did the work. It's all in the site. Guys from all walks of life, all ages and many different kinds of experiences.
What hasn't come out yet would be compulsive sexual acting out of any kind. Any compulsivity in fact. It's all probably the same shit if you're talking about D2 dopamine receptor sites. Alcoholics can take atypical anti-psychotics that work on the D2 receptors to reduce cravings....same brain reward circuits (check it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quetiapine ). Once again, as far as this topic is concerned, the world is still flat.